Prophetess Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 Any fellow asexual Jews out there? I'm interested in philosophizing about Judaism (cultural and religious) and asexuality... Not to minimize the isolation and ostracization of other asexual peoples' experience, but it seems that Jewish culture is unique in its whole-hearted rejection of celibacy. While (most) other religions and cultures at the very least respect celibacy, if not encourage it, Judaism is seemingly unique in its over-emphasis of marriage and family. (Ever notice how the rare event that isn't geared toward families are "Jewish singles" events, ostensibly designed to hook up said Jewish singles?) Anyway, I'm curious to hear about the thoughts of other asexual Jews and discuss our experiences, identity, and the cultural/religious issues that come up with asexuality. Link to post Share on other sites
nonentities Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 I'm both asexual and Jewish, though I'm not a great example since I'm also an atheist. My family's not terribly religious, but both of my parents are very enthusiastic about the idea of grandchildren (particularly Jewish grandchildren). I'd say it's safe to comment that they've done the best they could to give me a Jewish education and identity (sent me to Hebrew school for ... oh ... a good eleven years), and want me to be able to do the same for any children that I do have. Unfortunately ... I'm not having kids and my brother's dating a shikse. :roll: Basically, they just keep urging me to go to Hillel meetings at college because I'll "meet a nice Jewish boy." Link to post Share on other sites
Viroshield Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 Well, my mom is Jewish, but nonpracticing and nonbelieving. So, by beliefs, I am considered Jewish, but I am in the same boat as my mother. I have been to a temple before, but only because I wanted to know more about where 1 side of my family came from. I celebrated Hannakuh with my roommates, to encourage cultural diversity, at any measure. Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Oh boy, whenever I go to shul the mothers all crowd over, 'Ya gotta boyfriend? Ya wanna meet a nice Jewish boy?' Me: Look, my Hebrew name is Vashti Lilith. Vashti was the Queen of Persia and was exiled because she wouldn't dance for her husband's cronies. Lilith was Adam's first wife and was banished from Eden because she refused to lie beneath Adam--she knew they were equal beings. Do I *seem* like the sort of girl who WANTS a boyfriend? Cate Link to post Share on other sites
mindlife Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 I'm gentile, but I admire both Vashti and Miriam. Both of those women had real nerve and strength. They spoke truth as they understood it to power. I recently read a biography of Franz Kafka titled The Nightmare of Reason, written in 1983. It engages in some Freudian speculation about Kafka's character, but what's more engaging is his discussion of Kafka's interpretation of Judaism. He was a visionary, just like William Blake. I wish more people appreciated him. Link to post Share on other sites
Jockey Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Me. And I've noticed that in joking around and talking about the future, its my future spouse people speculate about the most. I'm really conflicted about Judaism. Link to post Share on other sites
gambit_boi Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Oh boy, whenever I go to shul the mothers all crowd over, 'Ya gotta boyfriend? Ya wanna meet a nice Jewish boy?'Me: Look, my Hebrew name is Vashti Lilith. Vashti was the Queen of Persia and was exiled because she wouldn't dance for her husband's cronies. Lilith was Adam's first wife and was banished from Eden because she refused to lie beneath Adam--she knew they were equal beings. Do I *seem* like the sort of girl who WANTS a boyfriend? Cate ach! that's an awesome response! :D Cate's wit > nosey shul moms Link to post Share on other sites
Red Angel Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 I'm both asexual and Jewish, though I'm not a great example since I'm also an atheist. My religious beliefs aren't exactly part of the Jewish mainstream either - but I am Jewish in that by the halakhic definition I am Jewish, and I identify myself as such. I was raised in a Jewish family - though my parents' beliefs aren't mainstream Jewish either. (They're both deists.) Yes, modern Judaism does seem to be very much against celibacy. But I don't think that was always the case. There is a section in the Torah that describes the ancient laws of monasticism. No doubt the monks ("nazirim" in Hebrew) were celibate. How did Judaism come to be so bent against celibacy? I don't know for sure - and I'm no historian - so I'll have to check up to see whether or not the following is true - but just in case (disclaimers aside) I'll say it anyway. During the era of the Roman Empire, Judaism became divided into several sects. The monks formed their own sect, the Essenes, during this time period. After the destruction of the Temple, when Phariseeism became the dominant sect of Judaism, the Essenes fell by the wayside - and with them went the place for celibacy in Jewish society. Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 And let's not forget in Orthodox Judaism there's a commandment for married couples to have sex three times a day on Saturday. It's all about having more children. Though that's true for any orthodox religion, no? Cate Link to post Share on other sites
Hexpiral Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 I´m not Jewish, but I think Jewish anti-celibate feelings are quite ancient. The Nazirim had to renew their oaths every year, unlike other monastic traditions which enforce celibacy for life, and every important figure in the biblical tradition was promised children... I believe it was a matter of survival of the hebrew people, as child death rates were quite high 3000 years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly Green Monkey Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Someone on another thread mentioned that they were impressed that Jews had so much killing directed at them and still survive, maybe this is why? Link to post Share on other sites
Jockey Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 And let's not forget in Orthodox Judaism there's a commandment for married couples to have sex three times a day on Saturday. It's all about having more children. Though that's true for any orthodox religion, no?Cate What??? In orthodox Judaism, a woman is forbidden even to her husband about half of every month. And the commandment you claim is nonexistant: men are required to please(ie have sex with) their wives anywhere from every other day to every year, depending on their profession. Wives are never obligated to have sex with their husbands by law, although of course its assumed they will. Link to post Share on other sites
Rabger Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 Lilith was Adam's first wife and was banished from Eden because she refused to lie beneath Adam--she knew they were equal beings. Is that actually in the bible anywhere? I've started research surrounding the bible. Odd stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Red Angel Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 Lilith was Adam's first wife and was banished from Eden because she refused to lie beneath Adam--she knew they were equal beings. Is that actually in the bible anywhere? I've started research surrounding the bible. Odd stuff. No, I think that's part of the Oral Tradition. Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 I'm Jewish but my family is very unreligious. Therefore I have never been subjected to the "have you found a nice jewish boy" thing yet. i think i would kill whoever said that. lol Link to post Share on other sites
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