Would you accept a "cure"?

[Vicious Trollop]

No, definitely not.

I don't even want a relationship right now, but I can imagine, hypothetically, one day, with the right person, having a deep monogamous relationship. I can imagine someday wanting a lot of things. But I cannot imagine sex ever fitting into that.

My ideal relationship just wouldn't involve sex. I can't see it that way. S/he wouldn't want sex either, or s/he wouldn't be the 'right person.'

I feel very certain about this.

[str8fuknpimpin]

i'm going with princess-spock. HELL NO.

why would that make any sense? how?

[zyralm]

.

[Cerhiunnhn]

No way! I love being able to think without worrying about all of this sex, physical, relationship, whatever crap!

I'm pleased with me!

[Schala Zeal]

I certainly wouldn't cure myself of it, I don't see it as a disease either, it's part of who I am.

[AlwaysVanilla]

Coming to terms with being asexual has opened up so much in my life that there is not a chance I would take a cure and end right back with the cattle. I spent enough of my life confused over what was really important!

[Amaray]

No.

[zyralm]

Eww. No. That would be changing my entire personality. That would be absolutely horrible. I'd never, ever do something like that, I'd be... changing myself. It would be like black magic.

That actually reminds me of something.

There's a really interesting movie with Brendan Fraser called "The Twilight of the Golds". A review will help explain better than I can: http://www.cinequest.org/99/guide/twilight.html (it's kinda hard to explain, definitely worth tracking down)

The line that stays in my mind is "A person is like a tapestry, pull one thread and the whole thing falls apart", or something like that :)

[Adrian]

Heh, this reminds me of an episode of the Simpsons.

"Mr. Smithers? But I thought you were..."

"Gay? Hahaha not as long as I take this every ten minutes. Oop, speaking of which..."

.

.

.

"I LOVE BOOBIES!"

[Jael L]

Definitely not .... shudders at the idea

Now if I could just cure all those non-asexuals out there instead...

[LisaRochell]

When I first read the poll, I ticked "don't know" as the idea of a cure was new and very unfamiliar, and I always pick the 'undecided' category if I have to, and then go away and think about it in more depth.

I'm very happy with the way I am, so for me I wouldn't change my sexuality. But if the 'cure' was a temporary thing, then I might take it to satisfy my curiosity about the motivations of sexual people.

The hardest thought was if I was married and the other person liked sex: Maybe if they'd changed something major about them too, then maybe I'd change this for them, but again probably only if it was temporary, as I might not like it. The conditions under which I'd say 'yes' are very specific.

[Dippy]

Hey, who moved my thread?

[junie99]

I voted definitely not.

[Lisa1]

I guess i accept the way i am probably too easily, but if i could change the way i naturally am, I wouldnt in a million years. I was made this way for some reason, and i'd cheat myself to change it

[cutenycgirl20]

I don't know. It's not like I think there is something *wrong* with being asexual. But I really wonder what it's like to experience sexual attraction. Sex seems like such a great thing - people make such a big deal out of it that I can't help but wonder what it feels like to get lost in that physical pleasure with another person.

Also, even though I don't feel sexual attraction, I am a very sexual person. I'm pretty in tune with my body, I'm very flirtatious, and I like being "sexy". But I don't like having sex. The few times I've had sex with someone, I've been pretty disgusted with them afterwards. While sexual people usually feel *closer* to someone after sexual intimacy - I feel grossed out. I'm like "ew, DON'T TOUCH ME!"

I just don't like it. I can do without it. I'm better off without it.

But since I DO have sexual desire... I wonder what it feels like to also experience sexual attraction. It's a toss up - because I don't know if it would make my life better, or just complicate things. But I couldn't say for sure that I'd pass up a "cure". Curiosity is my main demon. If I wasn't so eager to know what it is like to have sexual attraction, then a "cure" wouldn't interest me.

[Boq]

I like being asexual; it agrees very well with my generally independent/borderline misanthropic personality. I do not see relationships and sex as "worth it" in my life, and I value the insight and outsider's perspective that being asexual has given me. Also, being asexual has no doubt shaped many aspects of my personality already, and I like the way that I am as a person. I wouldn't change a thing.

Very true. I likewise don't see relationships as "worth it", because of my generally independent personality (what some might even label as "selfish", if they want to be an existential ass about it). And similarly, I like the "outsider's view" that comes with being asexual. I'm able to step back and say "this really is stupid and completely arbitrary" to many things sexual people do in courting and marriage -- not that any of them care, mind you, because it all makes sense to them... "dude, you just don't get it".

Exactly. I don't get it.

-Boq

Edited to add: however, I voted "probably not" -- I really am perfectly comfortable being single and asexual, and I'd hate to screw it up by throwing sex and relationships into the mix. On the other hand, I do sometimes get that twinge of curiosity, or wistfulness for a "normal" relationship, which most likely stems from societal pressure. I mean, I even have a hard time relating to other people's feelings, at all. If someone tells me their mother just died, I know I'm supposed to feel bad for them -- and I do, but it feels like more of a learned trait; I don't feel some subconscious impulse to hug and cry with them. I'm not sure a "cure" for asexuality would cure that, though.

[suttsteve]

I wonder if sexual people would accept a cure. I definitely wouldn't.

[Jartan]

Definitely not. I'm happy with who I am. Theres too much to life you can see when you don't think about sex all the time.

(Like how great cake really is ;-))

[synx13]

The word cure is so... permanent. ;) Yeah, I'd love to be sexual and gung hay fat choy and get swept off my feet, and do all the icky mushy stuff, but only in some freaky VR simulator that plugged into my spine and let me live all that through someone else's life. Being a sexual being, and being an asexual being, are two different experiences. Given the choice I'd love to try out what it's like to be somebody else! But since we have only one body, one lifetime that I can find, it's not something that's going to be very feasible.

...I always wonder why the people in "The Matrix" look the same as their residual self images...

Let's just put it this way, if I ever did get "cured" of asexuality, I'd wanna turn around and get "cured" again the other direction! But the nature of the word "cure" prevents regression implicitly.

[Aventually]

For me, asexuality is an answer to a long-standing prayer. I used to suffer from sexual addiction--yep, I was the exact polar opposite of what I am now! Not only that, but I had many painful, failed romantic relationships.

So I started praying a few years ago, "God, please, either send me the right man, or take this lonely, torturous yearning away from me!" And guess what....I was diagnosed with a rare type of brain hemmorhage, and they had to remove part of the brain that controls the sex drive and emotions. But I was stubborn, and thought I still needed a man. One more terrible relationship....

So, in His infinite mercy, God caused my reproductive organs to become diseased, and I had to have a total abdominal hysterectomy. And that took care of what was left of the sex drive! I have not suffered from loneliness, infidelity, or "horniness" since. Would I accept a cure? HA :!:

[Hu]

I almost hope they do invent a cure just so I can throw it in the face of anyone who tries to give it to me.

[Penumbra]

This reminds me of something I read in the newspaper a long time ago about some treatment/genetic conditioning thing available for deaf couples, so that their children would have normal hearing. Some deaf people were strongly against the treatment, because in their view deafness was by no means a disability. They felt that they have huge advantages over non-deaf people in many ways.

(Not to say that asexuality is a disability ... :oops: ...)

[seven]

this "cure"...would it be possible to try it out for, say, a year? just to see how being sexual works out for me?

i'd definitely like to try...but who knows maybe it'd make me feel a whole lot worse.

[sab7503]

Life would be so much easier. I've tried very hard to find an asexual relationship without success. Plus, I assume if I were "cured" that I'd enjoy sex and if sexual people are to be believed, that for them is one of life's best offerings. I'd be happy to be "cured" of dislike for chocolate, too, but fortunately I like chocolate very much.

Comparisons have their flaws, but they are useful sometimes. I wonder if our community is a little bit like the deaf community. When I was younger, the issue facing the deaf community was whether to learn to read lips or to sign...whether to try to compensate for being deaf and interact with the hearing world or whether to embrace deafness and others with hearing impairment. This issue was extremely divisive.

Now the issue seems to be more about whether to accept implants that can aid hearing and also whether to place these implants in toddlers (the age at which the best results can be obtained)

As a hearing person, I'm tempted to wonder about decisions not to learn lip reading or to accept implants, but these are real issues for the hearing impaired and many feel passionately for this or that position.

Implants, for instance, threaten the very size of the deaf community and future enrollment at institutions such as Gauladet (a university for the deaf). Also, a minority of the deaf cannot be helped with implants and might feel left behind. I saw a documentary about an entirely deaf family that chose not to place implants in their toddler because he would not fit into their world.

I see that some in the deaf community are so PC as to regard hearing impairment as not an impairment at all. You could ask them if they'd accept an instant cure for deafness and they'd say no. To the extent hearing would disrupt their relationships, I understand, but I think many have come to believe that those grapes (i.e. hearing) really are very sour.

I don't want to be like those folks in this. Sure, I've avoided VD, unplanned pregnancy, exchanging body fluids with other people. If I didn't want to be in a relationship, I could see how asexuality was a blessing, but since I do, it's been an impairment. I think the distinction I make (and would make if I were deaf) is that I have an impediment, but am not a deficient person.

I pretty much go to one of the only other schools for the deaf. It's a school for hearing and deaf actually. (I am hearing). I am so used to being around deaf folk, having interperters in every class, you name it. Actually, one of my Professors in one of my previous classes graduated from Gauladet, and sevearl students in that class were planning on going to gauladet as well. The deaf community at my school has been quite an inspiration for helping me to understand my sexual or rather, asexual orientation. (I realize that I don't really want to be asexual esp. cause it's not, like the majority, and also cause I dont want to be alone my whole life. BUt, I am also coming to realize that there may be many other ways to deal/combat with lonilness too) Anyway, the point is, from what I understand, most deaf indviduals actually prefer to have deaf children. (my teacher did. He was a bit disappointed when his daughter was hearing, but he accepted it.) Actually, the deaf community is divided into three identities, depending on how they concieve themself, what culture they feel a part of, etc. This identity has no relation to how deaf they really are medically. Hence, you could have a medically deaf indivdual identifying as hearing (they primarily read lips, talk, etc) as Deaf (sign language) and as hard of hearing which is sort of in between. So, someone who is Deaf with a capital D, embraces the deaf culture and would certainly not want to "fix" their Deafness. Someone who is hearing, though, would want to. I find it neat the way a group of people who are "lacking" what the majority have, often due to an illness at an early age, or a physical medical problem with their ear....they can turn it around and say "hey, we are proud of who we are, we are proud of being deaf. It's part of us and we wouldn't want to change it if we could". I find that to be really inspiring!

[sab7503]

well the quote got messed up, sorry all. :P

[SpirallingSnowy]

I havnt voted yet, but im going to vote probably not. Id give it a go, see what it was like, but a permanent solution?? get bent. I mite compromise for marrige if that was something discussed and agreed apon, but y dont they find a cure for sexuality? so they have less of a sex drive??? so yes, probably not.

[birdnerd]

Ugh. No thanks. Not wanting/needing to be in a Relationship is just too convenient, when it comes to getting more important things done.

[Towenden]

Definitely not. I'm quite happy without all the stresses that being sexual would bring. :)

[Brodertun]

Hypothetically, if it turned out that there was some physical reason that you were asexual and you were offered a simple "cure", would you take it?

Hypothetically, wouldn't that mean that their was some physical reason that people were sexual? And what sets what is unbroken, from what is broken, but societal majority standards.

We could move 1,000 asexuals to an island along with 300 sexuals and then work to fix the sexuals so they would become normal.

[OC47]

No, definitely not. I'm happy with who I am!