PinkCigaro Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Hello everyone! This is my first time posting here on AVEN. I've been lurking on these forums for quite some time, and I must say that I enjoy how friendly the community seems to be here. Lately I've been a bit confused as to how I would classify myself based on the thoughts I've been having... So anyway, I'm a teenage male. I've always considered myself straight because I seemed to like women and I've never been attracted to men in any way. When I stumbled across this site, I was questioning whether or not I romantically liked women. I had always enjoyed the idea of being romantically attracted to a woman, but it seems like I'm more attracted to the idea of it than to what it actually entails. I know I'm sexually attracted to women (to some extent), but for some reason I just cannot consciously find myself wanting an actual physical or romantic relationship. It's like my urges tell me to be attracted to this girl's appearance, but then I start thinking about all of the things I don't like about that person (both physically and personality-wise) and it puts me off, making the idea of any sort of relationship seem a bit repulsive. In other words, while the thought of having a girlfriend (sexually and romantically) appeals to me, actually dealing with attractive women in real life makes me lose any and all imagined attraction, despite what my urges tell me. And so, I end up thinking about women in two ways: strictly sexual, or strictly romantic/aesthetically pleasing (as in, I think she looks mesmerizing, but the most I'd ever want to do is hold hands or something). It's been really bothering me because all of this time I thought these feelings of innate sexual attraction yet repulsion towards women was somehow "normal". It's like my body just wants sex, my heart just wants romance, but I just want to be left alone because when I think about either outside of an idealistic dream-world, I'm pretty much indifferent and apathetic. So, if any of you can shed some light onto my dilemma or perhaps give me advice as to how to deal with it or even what to call it because I have no clue (I thought I was aromantic for a while...), then I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks! :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Unbanned Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Maybe you're more of a passive-romantic? If an attractive girl pursued a romantic relationship with you (as opposed to you pursuing her), do you think you could form a relationship easier? Link to post Share on other sites
Meph Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Uhh... That's called being a teenager. Link to post Share on other sites
glass weegie Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Uhh... That's called being a teenager. :lol: agreed. its normal. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkCigaro Posted October 24, 2011 Author Share Posted October 24, 2011 Maybe you're more of a passive-romantic? If an attractive girl pursued a romantic relationship with you (as opposed to you pursuing her), do you think you could form a relationship easier? That would probably make things worse because I'd probably say no to her. I don't pursue girls and I haven't had any crushes on girls aside from my 1st, which was like 3 years ago (which I realized was just me being infatuated with being infatuated). Tbh, I'm not even interested in getting a girlfriend or anything of that sort. Link to post Share on other sites
samepage1 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Well, I think some of it is "being a teenager," and some of it's not. Hear me out. I'm nearly 25, and I've felt basically the same way as you. I think when you're a teenager it's a but more hormone-driven than when you reach mid-twenties (I know you get sick, sick, sick of hearing about hormones; I wasn't born a billion years ago!). To the other folks who've replied, remember that many teenagers are having sex. So, I doubt the repulsion that PinkCigaro speaks of is typical of most teenagers. I think that a lot of the issue may be that the teen years and early 20s are when you're figuring out a lot of things. You have 13 years of messages about relationships to begin sorting through at the same time that you're trying to come into your own sexuality and figuring out how to relate to other people. No wonder it's a tough time in life. As for whether you're straight, I'm sure you know we can't answer that. Besides, the more important things than an orientation label are figuring out what sort of relationships (of all types) you want to have with people, recognizing what you're uncomfortable with, and deciding how you'll approach what you're still unsure of (e.g. are you willing to dive into a romantic relationship, or do you want to be clear that you're not sure if you want anything romantic at all?). Best of luck to you. Here's plenty of cake to get you through: :cake: :cake: Link to post Share on other sites
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