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Do your orientations clash?


Jillianimal

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So I think just about everyone here is aware that sexual attraction is not the same as romantic attraction & asexuals have romantic orientation, which makes this whole thing much easier. People automatically think that sexual & romantic orientation always go hand in hand (like all asexuals would be aromantic), but romantic asexuals prove otherwise. But whose to say that this only happens among asexuals? Maybe most heterosexuals are just heteromantic, but whose to say that a heterosexual can't be homoromantic, biromantic, etc? Why would his only happen among asexuals? I know I've seen this happen around a couple times but I'd like to see how common this is.

For me they clash: asexual hetero grayromantic here

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Forgive me, but I fail to see how anyone's identity can clash!

Each person finds a way of expressing how they define themselves. Self-definition can't be a complex in itself, or we'd find ourselves in a 1984 situation.

H xx

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Forgive me, but I fail to see how anyone's identity can clash!

Each person finds a way of expressing how they define themselves.

I think what the OP meant was do anyone's sexual orientation and romantic orientations not line up? (e.g. heterosexual, but not heteroromantic; homosexual, but not homoromantic)

It's not uncommon to find asexuals who aren't aromantic, so who's to say there can't be sexuals who are the same way?

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Forgive me, but I fail to see how anyone's identity can clash!

Each person finds a way of expressing how they define themselves. Self-definition can't be a complex in itself, or we'd find ourselves in a 1984 situation.

H xx

I mean what sex/gender you're sexually attaracted to doesn't perfectly match up (or doesn't match up at all) with what sex/gender you're romantically attracted to.

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Forgive me, but I fail to see how anyone's identity can clash!

Each person finds a way of expressing how they define themselves.

I think what the OP meant was do anyone's sexual orientation and romantic orientations not line up? (e.g. heterosexual, but not heteroromantic; homosexual, but not homoromantic)

It's not uncommon to find asexuals who aren't aromantic, so who's to say there can't be sexuals who are the same way?

Yup ^-^ or that you may feel both sexual & romantic to one gender but only romantic for another, but you get the idea.

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Nameless Someone

Well, I used to call myself a "heteroromantic bisexual," and while I still fit the definition, I decided to drop the "heteroromantic" and just call my self bisexual.

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ignoranceisn'tbliss

asexual and (pan?) gray-romantic

Although I think I might just be ignoring any romantic feelings that come my way, for now at least, because I'm not a very assertive person and worrying over romantic feelings just makes me depressed.

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My orientations clashed some few times. Fluid sexuality. I developed sexual apathy after the stage of fluid sexuality. It's not that I was confused, but more like my identity has changed over time and I did knew what was my situation is.

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Yes. I'm homoromantic bisexual. When people hear "bisexual" they assume that means that I want relationships with both sexes, which isn't true... I have no desire to have emotional/ romantic relationships with men. I only date women. But I have a sexual attraction to men and have had sexual interactions with many men over the years.

I've always felt that it's easier for heteroromantic bisexual women because a girl dating a boy probably has more leeway in indulge her sexual attraction to other girls.

I'd think a heteroromantic bisexual man would have a similarly hard time as me, in that there's more of a stigma against men in hetero relationships having sex with other men, as well as my scenario, a girl in a same-sex relationship having sex with men. Those two orientations are seen as more threatening to potential partners.

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  • 2 months later...

Yes, biromantic heterosexual. Not really a clash, though. Just that i can be romantically attracted to more ppl than i can be sexually attracted to.

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foxwithwings13

Definantly! Homoromantic Heterosexual is probably the best label that fits me. Although I recently do feel like i may be a bi-curious sexual.

Pretty much, on a scale of 1-100 (1 being completely attracted to opposite sex, 100 being completely attracted to same)

Romantically I'd be a 95. and the other 5% of men that I did have a slight interest in were gay men and fit the feminine stereotype

Sexually Im thinking I'd be... in the 10-20 range

:blush:

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I was formerly (that seems redundant), a heteroromantic bisexual. (I identified as female at the time).

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  • 2 weeks later...

I new a romantically gay guy who was only attracted to hetero guys.... do you mean sortof like that?

I don't know if it was both sexually and romantically or just one or the other though D:"

I guess that would be....

hetero-romantic homosexual.

I myself am not though ^-^;

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Oh indeed,

Since I've begun to tell my friends about the possibility of sexual and romantic orientations not being lined up, they're all searching their feelings. My flatmate thinks is aromantic and bisexual (he says : "I don't know what the word love means"), another one, gay as you can be, thinks he may be hetero-romantic.

Kind of funny how this vocabulary is nicely spreading... :rolleyes:

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  • 6 months later...

Mine line up. Aromantic asexual. It's a very low-maintenance alignment. Most of what I devote to the wide world of romance is figuring out the most efficient ways to not appeal to people and turn down advances, because I get approached a lot and it's kind of annoying. But all in all I'm happy having them match up nicely, because having them usually get conflated when you're one but not the other sounds really stressful.

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Janus the Fox

Wouldn't everyone's orientations clash in some form... No two people is alike, so there will be subtle little differences even with say... Hetero romantic heterosexuals.   

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I don't think my orientations clash. Likely due to the fact that I've come to realize that I'm closer to Aromanticism than to romanticism.

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Jillianimal

Wouldn't everyone's orientations clash in some form... No two people is alike, so there will be subtle little differences even with say... Hetero romantic heterosexuals.   

Well yeah, I'm sure there tends to be some differences when you look at the details, but I mean at least the basics of the sex of the target is consistent with one's orientations.

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I don't know about clash, but as a grey-asexual/androsexual aromantic I am attracted(ish) to men in a sexual way, but not in a romantic way. If I were romantic, I feel like I would be panromantic, though.

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I'm a heteroromantic asexual, so sort of, though it's not a major problem. I have a friend who identifies as a biromantic homosexual, though, which caused a few problems before she realized she wasn't actually sexually attracted at men. But I guess that's what experimenting as a teen is for haha.

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98slbrookes98

I'm homoromantic asexual through and through so I'm not sure if there is any clash there.

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