Jump to content

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Jillianimal

Do your orientations clash?

Recommended Posts

Jillianimal

So I think just about everyone here is aware that sexual attraction is not the same as romantic attraction & asexuals have romantic orientation, which makes this whole thing much easier. People automatically think that sexual & romantic orientation always go hand in hand (like all asexuals would be aromantic), but romantic asexuals prove otherwise. But whose to say that this only happens among asexuals? Maybe most heterosexuals are just heteromantic, but whose to say that a heterosexual can't be homoromantic, biromantic, etc? Why would his only happen among asexuals? I know I've seen this happen around a couple times but I'd like to see how common this is.

For me they clash: asexual hetero grayromantic here

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ozian13

I'm a hetero romantic asexual, but a friend of mine is a homoromantic bisexual

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
HeidiUK

Forgive me, but I fail to see how anyone's identity can clash!

Each person finds a way of expressing how they define themselves. Self-definition can't be a complex in itself, or we'd find ourselves in a 1984 situation.

H xx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Torraed

Forgive me, but I fail to see how anyone's identity can clash!

Each person finds a way of expressing how they define themselves.

I think what the OP meant was do anyone's sexual orientation and romantic orientations not line up? (e.g. heterosexual, but not heteroromantic; homosexual, but not homoromantic)

It's not uncommon to find asexuals who aren't aromantic, so who's to say there can't be sexuals who are the same way?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jillianimal

Forgive me, but I fail to see how anyone's identity can clash!

Each person finds a way of expressing how they define themselves. Self-definition can't be a complex in itself, or we'd find ourselves in a 1984 situation.

H xx

I mean what sex/gender you're sexually attaracted to doesn't perfectly match up (or doesn't match up at all) with what sex/gender you're romantically attracted to.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jillianimal

Forgive me, but I fail to see how anyone's identity can clash!

Each person finds a way of expressing how they define themselves.

I think what the OP meant was do anyone's sexual orientation and romantic orientations not line up? (e.g. heterosexual, but not heteroromantic; homosexual, but not homoromantic)

It's not uncommon to find asexuals who aren't aromantic, so who's to say there can't be sexuals who are the same way?

Yup ^-^ or that you may feel both sexual & romantic to one gender but only romantic for another, but you get the idea.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CBC

Well I'm bi-romantic and when it comes to sexual stuff, somewhere in the grey-a area possibly. For the most part, the grey-asexiness is [hypothetically, because I've never had sex with another woman] oriented towards both males and females, so I don't think there's a huge difference... but I would probably say that my brain currently makes the connection between sexual and romantic feelings with males more easily than it does females. I honestly don't think there's enough of a difference for me to say for certain that I'm bi-romantic and hetero-grey-asexual, though. I just have absolutely no sexual experience with women and I imagine my interest in having sex with one might increase if doing so was actually a possibility. *shrugs* I dunno, I just don't really think about having sex with anyone very much, even if I have strong feelings for them. Anybody I might find myself in a full relationship with, male or female, would likely ignite some further degree of interest in sex.

And that was super ramble-y, haha. Basically I don't think there are any huge clashes in my orientations, just some minor differences here and there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nameless Someone

Well, I used to call myself a "heteroromantic bisexual," and while I still fit the definition, I decided to drop the "heteroromantic" and just call my self bisexual.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ignoranceisn'tbliss

asexual and (pan?) gray-romantic

Although I think I might just be ignoring any romantic feelings that come my way, for now at least, because I'm not a very assertive person and worrying over romantic feelings just makes me depressed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
R_1

My orientations clashed some few times. Fluid sexuality. I developed sexual apathy after the stage of fluid sexuality. It's not that I was confused, but more like my identity has changed over time and I did knew what was my situation is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
skullery

Yes. I'm homoromantic bisexual. When people hear "bisexual" they assume that means that I want relationships with both sexes, which isn't true... I have no desire to have emotional/ romantic relationships with men. I only date women. But I have a sexual attraction to men and have had sexual interactions with many men over the years.

I've always felt that it's easier for heteroromantic bisexual women because a girl dating a boy probably has more leeway in indulge her sexual attraction to other girls.

I'd think a heteroromantic bisexual man would have a similarly hard time as me, in that there's more of a stigma against men in hetero relationships having sex with other men, as well as my scenario, a girl in a same-sex relationship having sex with men. Those two orientations are seen as more threatening to potential partners.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Pandante

Yes, biromantic heterosexual. Not really a clash, though. Just that i can be romantically attracted to more ppl than i can be sexually attracted to.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
foxwithwings13

Definantly! Homoromantic Heterosexual is probably the best label that fits me. Although I recently do feel like i may be a bi-curious sexual.

Pretty much, on a scale of 1-100 (1 being completely attracted to opposite sex, 100 being completely attracted to same)

Romantically I'd be a 95. and the other 5% of men that I did have a slight interest in were gay men and fit the feminine stereotype

Sexually Im thinking I'd be... in the 10-20 range

:blush:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5_♦♣

I was formerly (that seems redundant), a heteroromantic bisexual. (I identified as female at the time).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest member25959

I'd bet that biromantic hetereosexuality exists.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
junebug

I new a romantically gay guy who was only attracted to hetero guys.... do you mean sortof like that?

I don't know if it was both sexually and romantically or just one or the other though D:"

I guess that would be....

hetero-romantic homosexual.

I myself am not though ^-^;

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Calinlapin

Oh indeed,

Since I've begun to tell my friends about the possibility of sexual and romantic orientations not being lined up, they're all searching their feelings. My flatmate thinks is aromantic and bisexual (he says : "I don't know what the word love means"), another one, gay as you can be, thinks he may be hetero-romantic.

Kind of funny how this vocabulary is nicely spreading... :rolleyes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest member25959

Moving this from SPFA to our newest forum, A/Romantic Identities.

Enjoy, Arca nine Huggles

SPFA Moderator.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Oswald

Mine line up. Aromantic asexual. It's a very low-maintenance alignment. Most of what I devote to the wide world of romance is figuring out the most efficient ways to not appeal to people and turn down advances, because I get approached a lot and it's kind of annoying. But all in all I'm happy having them match up nicely, because having them usually get conflated when you're one but not the other sounds really stressful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Janus DarkFox

Wouldn't everyone's orientations clash in some form... No two people is alike, so there will be subtle little differences even with say... Hetero romantic heterosexuals.   

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5_♦♣

I don't think my orientations clash. Likely due to the fact that I've come to realize that I'm closer to Aromanticism than to romanticism.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jillianimal

Wouldn't everyone's orientations clash in some form... No two people is alike, so there will be subtle little differences even with say... Hetero romantic heterosexuals.   

Well yeah, I'm sure there tends to be some differences when you look at the details, but I mean at least the basics of the sex of the target is consistent with one's orientations.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
777777777

I don't know about clash, but as a grey-asexual/androsexual aromantic I am attracted(ish) to men in a sexual way, but not in a romantic way. If I were romantic, I feel like I would be panromantic, though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Note

I'm a heteroromantic asexual, so sort of, though it's not a major problem. I have a friend who identifies as a biromantic homosexual, though, which caused a few problems before she realized she wasn't actually sexually attracted at men. But I guess that's what experimenting as a teen is for haha.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
98slbrookes98

I'm homoromantic asexual through and through so I'm not sure if there is any clash there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...