threepointrest Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 Title says it. I've always been different from most other guys. While most other straight males tend to think something along the lines of, "sexsexsexsexsexsex, maybe talk afterwards," (forgive my stereotyping!) I'm more the opposite. I always thought of myself as straight, just more mature(?) than other teenage guys. The other day, however, I ran across an article about Demisexuality, and started looking into the whole Grey Area thing. After a few days of reading about it, I honestly have no idea what I classify as. Demisexual seems closest, but even that isn't quite right. Most often, I've seen it defined as a "lack of physical (primary) sexual attraction" until a close emotional bond is established. I'm as physically attracted to women as any other straight guy down the street. My sexuality only comes into question when it turns to the subject of desire. I could be spending time with the most beautiful girl in the world, and be sexually ATTRACTED. But at the same time, I have exactly zero sexual DESIRE (as in, I have a PHYSICAL want, but no EMOTIONAL want). If that makes sense. This said, I'm certainly not completely asexual, but not quite anything else I've found. Does anyone else have attractions similar to mine? If so, and if you don't mind sharing, how do you classify yourself, and why? And even if the above sentence doesn't relate to you perfectly, I would still love to hear your thoughts! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Invisible Pumpkin Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 First of all: welcome and cake! ;) Does anyone else have attractions similar to mine? If so, and if you don't mind sharing, how do you classify yourself, and why? I do, I kinda feel related to your story. I classify -if it's so- as ace, demisual/grey-A, seems a lot ah? LOL. As I very rarely experience primary sexual attraction but secondary sexual attraction. Also I'm kinda fit in the gray thing because I'm one of those "who experience some parts of sexuality but not others, according to a theoretical model such as Rabger’s[1]" Link to post Share on other sites
Froggles Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 New here also, but still willing to hand out some :cake: :D. Anyhow, I have similar feelings to yours, and I'm still not sure what to label myself as. That's partly because I haven't finished analyzing what I consider my "attraction" to the opposite gender. If I decide that the attraction is purely aesthetic, then I plan on adopting the asexual label. I suspect that there's something more to it, however, and I'm not sure how good identifying as "grey-A" would be if I think I'd like to have sex with someone once I really form a bond with them. In that case, I'd rather just be known as "uncertain" haha. Just my thoughts on when using the different labels could potentially make sense. This is all still so confusing. *boggle* - hope you figure it out! Link to post Share on other sites
kochouran Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I feel the exact same way about women. I only get turned on by looking at women, but there is no desire for a relationship beyond friendship. On the flipside, guys do nothing for me physically, and I'd rather they keep their clothes on, yet I fantasize about them more and they're the ones I develop crushes on. For me, sexual attraction is a combination of a physical and mental/emotional want for sex, and since neither males nor females produces both wants, I see myself as asexual. However, there's one (possibly two if you count a celebrity crush) exception to this, as in my mind and body do desire sex with a particular individual, so I guess the more accurate label for me is "grey". (Sometimes I call myself "mostly asexual" because it is hard explaining grey to people who know very little about asexuality.) Link to post Share on other sites
The Joker Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 I'm occassionally sexually attracted to girls but it goes away as fast as it comes. The thing is it's not everyday it's occasional every now and then. i classify as gray but identify as Asexual because it will take time to explain to people and, by that time will think your abnormal and tease you. Edit: after occasional every now and then "put period" before I. I dn't every now and then classify as gray sorry grammar mistake I am gray but identify as Asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Alter-Echo Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Title says it. I've always been different from most other guys. While most other straight males tend to think something along the lines of, "sexsexsexsexsexsex, maybe talk afterwards," (forgive my stereotyping!) I'm more the opposite. I always thought of myself as straight, just more mature(?) than other teenage guys. The other day, however, I ran across an article about Demisexuality, and started looking into the whole Grey Area thing. After a few days of reading about it, I honestly have no idea what I classify as. Demisexual seems closest, but even that isn't quite right. Most often, I've seen it defined as a "lack of physical (primary) sexual attraction" until a close emotional bond is established. I'm as physically attracted to women as any other straight guy down the street. My sexuality only comes into question when it turns to the subject of desire. I could be spending time with the most beautiful girl in the world, and be sexually ATTRACTED. But at the same time, I have exactly zero sexual DESIRE (as in, I have a PHYSICAL want, but no EMOTIONAL want). If that makes sense. This said, I'm certainly not completely asexual, but not quite anything else I've found. Does anyone else have attractions similar to mine? If so, and if you don't mind sharing, how do you classify yourself, and why? And even if the above sentence doesn't relate to you perfectly, I would still love to hear your thoughts! Hmmm...you sound almost just like me in this regard. While I can find a woman sexually attractive and may even fantisize about her, I have no actual desire to have sex with her unless I get to know her very well and really like her. For example. if a woman I found physically attractive suddenly asked me to have sex with her out of the blue, I probably wouldn't be able to perform, and if I did, I don't think I'd enjoy it as much as most sexual men normally would. The only time I have a real "need" for sex is with those I care about deeply or love. Link to post Share on other sites
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