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Live R Perfect

Sex Herald article **Explicit imagery on webpage**

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Live R Perfect

AVENguy gave me this link to an article earlier, but I haven't been able to read it yet (damn net-nanny).

Edit: and I wish I HAD been able to look at it, as there are GRAPHIC SEXUAL IMAGES on the page too!!

http://www.sexherald.com/adult-feature-art...exuality_i.html






2013 Mod Edit: In 2005, the page likely looked like this (to get the "graphic" imagery). For future reference:



A-Sexual Healing - Asexuality in America
By Vida Engstrand

Sex is very in these days. It can be seen, sold, swallowed in a pill, and it seems the one thing it can't do is shock. These are swingin' times in which we can get lesbians and gays on Showtime, promiscuity and kink on HBO and near-nudity on regular old cable. Sex is mainstream and anyone who can raise only a furrowed brow at any lifestyle or preference is out of the loop. In other words, is it not taboo if it turns you on? Enter asexuality, the sexual orientation for not having and not wanting sex. A new and growing concept among people of all ages, asexuality is coming out of the closet to the disbelief of many open-minded Americans. In a time when anything goes, perhaps the most shocking sexual proclivity is simply not having one.

Being asexual does not mean being unable to get any. Furthermore, while celibacy is a decision to abstain from sex, asexuality is not a choice. Rather, it is the lack of desire to form a sexual relationship. The priest who vows abstinence or the woman who swears off men for a while are not asexual simply because they choose not to indulge their sexual interests.

There is a surprising variety of tastes and experiences for those of the asexual persuasion. Some have a history of sexual experience, while some have kissed and others have abstained entirely. Some have non-physical yet intimate relationships and others have no intimate relationships but still masturbate. Furthermore, some asexual people have normal sex drives but simply do not feel attracted to either gender; they would expand the hetero-, bi-, homo- spectrum of sexuality to include their own orientation. Others may feel attracted to men and/or women but have very low, almost non-existent physical desires. When asked where they stand on the nature versus nurture question, many insist on nature but claim that environment can affect anybody's sexuality.

Asexuality in humans is an orientation defined in the negative. An asexual is a person who is not having sex, who is not interested, who has a sexual desire disorder or sexual dysfunction. This language of lack casts judgment on the roughly one percent of the population who claim asexual orientation. They are missing something. They are broken in some way.

Bjorn Worpel, a twenty-year old drama student, is disturbed by such terms. He hopes that a new language can be developed to describe people of his sexual orientation so that "by promoting the fact that, while it may be uncommon, disinterest in sex is not in fact a bad thing, asexuals can be made to feel valued and equally important instead of being put down...I would like asexuality to be defined as simply another perfectly valid facet of humanity."

For others, focusing on putting labels on sexuality may undermine our need to simply accept people for who they are regardless of what they do or don't do in the bedroom. "Although I fit the description," explains one such individual, "I try not to refer to myself as asexual because I don't feel the need to categorize myself." B., another woman with a similar position, says she would "prefer to be defined solely as a person."

Perhaps it is most important that asexuality just be put out there, so people know what it is and understand that it is an option. "Most people have only heard the term in biology class with how it relates to worms having asexual reproduction," explains Travis, a twenty-one year old student who has been in sexual relationships with three women despite the fact that "sex feels weird" to him. Many people who are finding themselves asexually inclined are doing just that - finding themselves. Until recently, asexuality was not a part of the discussion on sexuality. There were no terms, no communities and no answers for the individual so out of the sexual norm as to not be involved with it at all. The Asexual Visibility and Education Network, AVEN, was founded in 2001 to offer information and discussion forums on asexuality. With almost 2500 registered users and nearly 127,000 posted articles, it is the most informative and visited resource for this subject on the web.

Bjorn Worpel is one of many who have found a little salvation in AVEN. "I have known since early high school that I really wasn't interested in sex," he explains, "but I did not start thinking of myself in terms of a distinct orientation until I found AVEN late last year. I think I originally believed that my preferences were completely by choice, but when I read the FAQ on AVEN I realized hey! That's me!"

This community provides support and validation for people like Lisa who may be frustrated by the fact that "there's nobody in entertainment or publishing that acknowledges the asexual niche. Everything you see on TV or the movies or in books has sexuality attached." For that reason, when asexuals come out of the closet about their orientation or preference to abstain, the reaction they receive is often one of disbelief. "Disbelief is the main reaction I get, bordering on negativity," says Shain, "usually it's more condescending than condemning...Sex is too prevalent [in the media] for most people to comprehend the idea of not having a sex drive."

According to a study reported in the Journal of Sex Research, asexual people may make up one percent of the population, a figure that sounds small but is close to the loud and proud four percent of the population with homosexual orientation. In an October 2004 article, New Scientist mentioned figures printed by a human sexuality researcher that suggest there may be as many asexuals as homosexuals out there. A study 1994 survey of nearly 3500 Americans published in The Social Organization of Society (Laumann, et. al., 1994, The University of Chicago Press) suggests that 2 percent of the population had never had a sexual experience.

With resources such as AVEN and a budding awareness of this other sexuality, asexual people are coming together, identifying their sexuality and supporting one another with this new "A-Pride." And yes, it was Hamlet who first said "Man delights not me; no, nor woman neither," but now it comes on a shirt, as do other expressions of A-pride such as "Asexuals Party Hardest" and simply "Ineffable." While some may consider asexuality strange, unevolved or impossible, others are speaking of an A-sexual revolution blowin' in the wind.

For "B," being asexual goes beyond judgments of taboos and allows her to have what some may consider to be the best of both worlds: romance and freedom. "I love more deeply and intensely," she says, "and because I'm not interested in sex, there's no social taboos that keep me from loving many people at once since there's no physical act involved. I think it helps me form deeper, more meaningful relationships. Sexuality is a powerful force and it doesn't get in my way. My boyfriend [who is a sexual person] agrees."

So there are many things that asexuality is not. It is not a lack of sexual awareness. It is not sour grapes for not being able to get any. It is simply not wanting sex with men or women and what it is is having the courage to admit such a persuasion in a sex saturated world. At a time when marginalized people are finally winning awareness and the freedom to pour into the mainstream, will Showtime's future lineup look something like "The L-Word," "Queer as Folk" and a new series: "Asexual in the City?"

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Violist

That's a great article, except for the porn-y pictures on the side.... oh well.

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-V-

That was a nice read. Poor Liver can't see it yet :(

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kbrd143

Very good article.

(This driving you crazy, yet, Karl? :wink: )

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