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Member33070

"Sexuals" - What does "sexual" mean to YOU?

Poll: At what level do you experience...  

1 member has voted

  1. 1. Primary sexual attraction? (based on looks, smell, etc)

    • None
      1
    • Low
      7
    • Medium
      10
    • High (often, and/or intensely)
      4
    • I do not identify as "sexual"
      9
  2. 2. Secondary sexual attraction? (based on relationship, emotional connection, etc)

    • None
      0
    • Low
      2
    • Medium
      6
    • High
      14
    • I do not identify as "sexual"
      9
  3. 3. Primary sexual desire? (sexual desire for your own personal pleasure)

    • None
      0
    • Low
      5
    • Medium
      6
    • High
      11
    • I do not identify as "sexual"
      9
  4. 4. Secondary sexual desire? (sexual desire for your partner's pleasure, conception of children, etc)

    • None
      1
    • Low
      4
    • Medium
      6
    • High
      11
    • I do not identify as "sexual"
      9
  5. 5. Romantic attraction? (desire for romantic relationship)

    • None (may identify as aromantic)
      0
    • Low
      1
    • Medium
      7
    • High
      14
    • I do not identify as "sexual"
      9
  6. 6. Aesthetic attraction? (admiration for someone, "like a work of art")

    • None
      0
    • Low
      4
    • Medium
      9
    • High
      9
    • I do not identify as "sexual"
      9
  7. 7. What gender do you identify as vs. your "assigned at birth" gender?

    • Born/assigned male, identify as male
      7
    • Born/assigned male, identify as female
      0
    • Born/assigned male, identify as agender, neutrois, genderless, or androgynous
      0
    • Born/assigned male, identify as intersex, two-spirit, or multiple genders
      0
    • Born/assigned male, identify as another gender not listed
      0
    • Born/assigned identify as female
      12
    • Born/assigned female, identify as male
      0
    • Born/assigned female, identify as agender, neutrois, genderless, or androgynous
      0
    • Born/assigned female, identify as intersex, two-spirit, or multiple genders
      1
    • Born/assigned female, identify as another gender not listed
      0
    • Born/assigned identify as intersex
      0
    • Born/assigned intersex, identify as male
      0
    • Born/assigned intersex, identify as female
      0
    • Born/assigned intersex, identify as agender, neutrois, genderless, or androgynous
      0
    • Born/assigned intersex, identify as another gender not listed
      0
    • Other?
      2
    • I do not identify as "sexual"
      9
  8. 8. Do you have a libido (sex drive, "hunger" for sex or masturbation)? If so, how strong is it?

    • None (may identify as nonlibidoist)
      0
    • Low
      1
    • Medium
      10
    • High
      11
    • I do not identify as "sexual"
      9


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Member33070

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(Nightlight)

Voted.

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Coolwhoami

Here have some votes

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Member33070

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eamonn

I actually have no idea how to answer questions asking about how much I feel, for example, primary sexual attraction. I just don't know how. Sorry.

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test account

The levels were a little unclear to me. Is it possible to distinguish between a vote which is for "intense feelings very often", and "not-so-intense feelings also very often?" And does that matter? Would a vote for "intense feelings only rarely" look any different to "not-so-intense feelings most of the time"? Do you know what I mean, or am I just confused?

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Member33070

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Kisa needs a coffee

Actually I have some open-ended questions that I want to ask (I do like polls but sometimes they don't explain everything).

So the first one would be what do you think would distinguish you from a gray-a?

I'll think of more questions later about attraction and such but I have class like...really soon >_<

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Member33070

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skullery

That was really hard. I have no idea at what level my stuff is at. I took a wild guess... but I do feel like I could have put low, medium, or high and feel justified in all of them.

I also maybe don't super understand secondary desire. I'm a "giver", if you will (sorry if TMI), but I get pleasure out of it, so I don't know if that's primary, secondary, or both.

EDIT: I think this is exactly the problem. Low, medium, and high are all comparisons, but none of us have enough information to compare. I only know me. I have no idea if I am high, medium, or low. And in general that's my argument about a lot of the stereotypes of sexuals... it's assumed everyone is at "high", but we don't really know if that's true.

Maybe we need a poll on, like, how many people have you found sexually attractive? Under what conditions do you find people sexually attractive? I just realized over the weekend that, for me, sexual attraction and opportunity to have sex are entwined (if I can't actually have sexual contact with someone, I don't feel attraction to them).

I think we need to stray away from comparisons, as that's what's getting us all into trouble.

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Caspian

That was really hard. I have no idea at what level my stuff is at. I took a wild guess... but I do feel like I could have put low, medium, or high and feel justified in all of them.

This raises an interesting point-- there is no "normal" standard by which one can measure their feelings. Even if there was such a standard, it would still be difficult for one to measure their feelings against it.

I wonder if these polls will have the unintended effect of yielding insight into people's perspectives on where such a "normal" standard lies, and how people prefer to perceive themselves with respect to such a standard.

EDIT:

Maybe we need a poll on, like, how many people have you found sexually attractive? Under what conditions do you find people sexually attractive? I just realized over the weekend that, for me, sexual attraction and opportunity to have sex are entwined (if I can't actually have sexual contact with someone, I don't feel attraction to them).

Hm, I like this idea. I like to think of myself as experiencing very low sexual attraction. Whether this is actually the case or if it's just how I prefer to think of myself is something I've often wondered.

Numbers would definitely help to clear things up... but then again, one who has had more opportunities for sexual interaction may have been sexually attracted to more people in the past. This doesn't necessarily indicate that this person experiences more sexual attraction than his peers.

Don't worry-- I didn't vote in this poll :P.

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skullery

I wonder if these polls will have the unintended effect of yielding insight into people's perspectives on where such a "normal" standard lies, and how people prefer to perceive themselves with respect to such a standard.

Definitely.

Hm, I like this idea. I like to think of myself as experiencing very low sexual attraction. Whether this is actually the case or if it's just how I prefer to think of myself is something I've often wondered.

Numbers would definitely help to clear things up... but then again, one who has had more opportunities for sexual interaction may have been sexually attracted to more people in the past. This doesn't necessarily indicate that this person experiences more sexual attraction than his peers.

Also true. What we really are looking for is percentages... raw numbers aren't as informative. And how on earth would we ever come up with a percentage? If i try to think, "gee, Skullery, what percentage of people are you attracted to in situations that would, could, or should end up in sexual interaction?"... I have no frickin' idea. Low. I know the percentage would be really, really low.

I have a friend with a spanking fetish, and he says that about 25% of butts he sees, he would like to spank. When I and my friends all heard this, we were like 25%, are you kidding?! I find maybe 5% of people aesthetically pleasing, and am attracted to maybe 5% of those people!

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Caspian

True... while percentages would be ideal, nobody is really able to objectively think back and count the number of people that they could have/should have been sexually attracted toward. Even worse, people are likely to look at the percentage ranges and just select a low/medium/high range, depending their subjective opinion on how frequently they experience sexual attraction compared against what's "normal."

Could it be possible to ask people to how many people you currently find sexually attractive compared with the number of people you consider to be good friends? I realize this isn't the ideal information we're looking for, but it at least forces people to think of numbers. Then again, as I understand it, it's completely normal if a sexual doesn't happen to find anyone within their current peer group to be sexually attractive. Hmmm.....

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skullery

True... while percentages would be ideal, nobody is really able to objectively think back and count the number of people that they could have/should have been sexually attracted toward. Even worse, people are likely to look at the percentage ranges and just select a low/medium/high range, depending their subjective opinion on how frequently they experience sexual attraction compared against what's "normal."

Arg, you're right! Its like a house of cards... a subjective perspective built on top of a subjective perspective built on top of a subjective perspective, all generated by a pretty skewed media image.

Could it be possible to ask people to how many people you currently find sexually attractive compared with the number of people you consider to be good friends? I realize this isn't the ideal information we're looking for, but it at least forces people to think of numbers. Then again, as I understand it, it's completely normal if a sexual doesn't happen to find anyone within their current peer group to be sexually attractive. Hmmm.....

Not a bad thought, although there's going to be a divide between people who feel more primary vs. secondary attraction. I'm more likely to be attracted to my friends, because I'm attracted to people I like, whereas I definitely know some people who are the exact opposite.

I feel like we're on a big sand hill, sliding further and further from the top...

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JerseyArenal

Well I know it was a little difficult for me to answer because of the fact of how I don't have sex despite being a sexual. I have a lot of girls that are more then willing to be with me but as Ironic as it sounds I'm attracted both mentally and physically to a girl who's Asexual. I have very little to no interest in the girls around me other then wondering what the feeling is like, but that is more curiosity rather then attraction. I have and still would refuse their advances if they tired.

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