Do you want children?

[Guest]

Simple poll. I believe there's been lots of these already, but there are no recent polls about wanting children or not, so I thought I'd put one up.

What's your opinion on children? Would you like them or not?

DISCLAIMER: by children I mean both biological and adopted children, so if you want one but not the other, the answer would still be "yes". Also, the "I'm asexual" mentioned in the poll refers to asexuals only, not the whole asexuality spectrum, therefore if you're gray-A or demisexual you should vote "I'm NOT asexual". Thank you!

[DracoBorealis]

No, and I'm an ace.

[vici]

There is no way on this Earth I will ever reproduce. Firstly because you have to have sex (okay, I know you can get it done medically...) and that ain't gonna happen. Secondly, I just don't like them. People have said its not womanly to not like kids and I must be a cold hearted bitch but that isn't true. I'm very maternal with my animals, my mum says I react to everything my cat does or needs like a parent with newborn and its true, I'm very protective and see danger everywhere lol But human offspring? Nope. No way. Not happening.

[bradbury]

I voted a maybe, and I'm asexual. I've never been able to picture myself having kids, but who knows what the future might bring; I won't rule it out completely. Though to be fair it's a "probably not". My sister most likely will have kids, I have no problem being their favourite aunt instead :)

[lynnliz]

I voted "Yes, and I'm asexual" because at least for now I am. I don't think I'd mind sex if it was my husband, and maybe I'll actually end up identifying as demisexual, but for now starting a family of my own is something I just can't wait to do despite my current lack of attraction to anybody else.

[HeidiUK]

Lynnyliz, I voted the same as you. However, I'm a repulsed ace with ZERO interest in bio kids. I Really want to adopt though.

H xx

[MrsPotatoHead]

I might adopt someday, but I don't really have the right temperament to be a parent, so I voted "I'm not sure yet." Eh, I never know what the future may hold, right?

[Member33070]

x

[Philip027]

You would know my answer to this already, but... nope, and I'm ace!

[HeidiUK]

I'd like to adopt a kid that's older - 3 or 4 or 5, instead of a newborn or infant.

I agree, this would be what I want. But for me, for practical reasons. It would be more practical for me to parent an older child than a baby. Physically, I know I couldn't handle a baby.

H xx

[Caspian]

I love kids. I just don't want one of my own.

I have two little sisters who are ~15 years younger than me. I can visit home a couple times a year, play with them, and listen to my parents remark how I'm "great with kids." But that's about the extent of interaction with kids I want to have :P.

[Vdougie]

One answer: HELL NAH!

[faraway]

I suppose I could enjoy having a child, but I wouldn't enjoy it enough to go through the trouble of actually having one and giving up most of my free time to take care of them. I'm way too selfish for that. :lol:

[Salmacis]

Up until the age of 20 or so my answer would have been a defiant "NO WAY", but now I'm in my 20s I am starting to get 'clucky' (Though the idea of birth scares me)

On telling someone this (who also knew of my low to non-existent libido), they expressed the view that my desire to procreate "invalidated" my claim to be a non-libidoist (well, a negligible libidoist, at that). I couldn't disagree more. I don't think one's capacity for parental instinct need have any bearing on one's sex drive. Okay - feeling 'clucky' may well be linked to the libido, if by 'libido' you mean some highly ambiguous, psychologically deep-rooted, obscure Freudian phenomenon , but other than in that broad, outdated sense, I don't believe there is any necessary correlation between the two.

[JJButterworth]

I don't know. If I were to stay the course that I have planed right now then no but things may change and who knows who will enter my life.

[Patrick]

Probably not. I mean sometimes children are cute, but most of the time they are exhausting.

[HeidiUK]

On telling someone this (who also knew of my low to non-existent libido), they expressed the view that my desire to procreate "invalidated" my claim to be a non-libidoist (well, a negligible libidoist, at that). I couldn't disagree more. I don't think one's capacity for parental instinct need have any bearing on one's sex drive.

As you think, I'd concur that the person's view is rubbish.

I don't have ANY libido, but I have a very real desire to parent.

But in my case (for other reasons) I wish to adopt.

H xx

[Hayley]

I voted "I have some already, and I'm asexual". I have a much loved toddler, who is biologically my child.

It was never part of my plan to have children, and so far I'm pretty definite that I'm not going to want another. Seeing other people's children, especially younger ones, just makes me glad I only have the one child.

[Guest]

It's a shame so few non-asexual people have voted. I kind of wanted to compare the aces' wish to become a parent to the grays' (or sexuals'). I'm not one bit surprised that most asexuals don't want children... At least judging from this poll.

Grays, please get your votes in! Please, pretty please with sugar on top?

[ArtemisLiCa]

I'm ace and I want kids! As I posted in another thread:

I like the idea of spouse and kids and I would probably want to adopt as well. I would probably want to adopt the little bit older kids that have a harder time getting adopted because of their age. I mean yes I'd like a baby to raise, but there are so many kids that need a home. Everyone wants the babies, but what about the other kids? They need a loving home too.

Of course, I could be just as happy being the crazy cat lady. You know, the one with a bunch of cats that otherwise lives alone and had never been married. As long as I have an outlet for my need to love and nurture, I'm good.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want bio kids, but that's because I don't like the idea of having to give birth. If there were a way for me to have bio kids without having to give birth, then yeah I'd be fine with that. And to clarify my vote: I want kids, but I'll be fine if I never have any.

[Samael]

I don't care about having biochildren, but I'll keep adoption open as a possibility in the future. I don't want any form of children now. Adopting can be a difficult thing to do in the future though, because single people are not usually regarded as the best possible guardians.

[Glaw Scriven]

I'm really not interested in having children. My mother has said countless times that: "I didn't want children either when I was younger." But I'm pretty sure this isn't going to change, even when I am 'older'. (=_=)

I have little interest in being responsible for kids. I don't want to be in a position where I will be expected to teach a younger and less experienced someone about life. I'm a bit self centered in that respect. I want to live my life, and if I'm going to crash and burn, I'd rather do it without any passengers.

I would like to spend my life with people around me who I care about. In a sense, I'd rather slide into other people's families every now and again, and then retreat into my hole in the wall. XD

[Stormharrier]

I'm really not interested in having children. My mother has said countless times that: "I didn't want children either when I was younger." But I'm pretty sure this isn't going to change, even when I am 'older'. (=_=)

I get that sometimes as well. And my mum didn't want kids til she was some way into her 30's, so I can't conclusively prove that I'm different to her yet. My one consolation is that she was dating at this point in her life, whereas I'm still firmly against the idea.

Although, she did tell me the other day that if she knew then what she knew now (i.e. that spinsterhood isn't a bad thing), then me and my brother probably wouldn't exist. So perhaps she never really wanted children at all.

[PiF]

i have a daughter..and like many in here when i had her and before..i was absolutely convinced i wasn't ready..i wasn't

i was 21..hardly mature myself having had to raise my two younger brothers and sister so i had no adult life to grow into..it just happened at 14 when my parents divorced and my mother was unable to cope

being honest..i was nowhere mature enough or willing to give time as you would expect..i hadn't had teenage years and desperatly resented losing my chance to go through the teens/young adult stage..it was then i realised just how much you lose who you are when you have kids

the toys you used to have(exspensive electrics, holidays, nice cars, eating out) all go and you suddenly stop becoming you as a person but become you the couple..parents to a child

so i have the greatest of respect to those who say..you know what..i don't want kids..i just haven't got the time, wish or ability for them

they are incredibly hard work, more often than not are even more until they go to school..then a few good years then the teens kick in and hell till they are older..move out and understand finally what you went through to get them here

kids are great..but like so many things in life..just because we can...doesn't mean everyone should

[R_1]

If population was drastically lower than it is today, then I won't mind. For now, forget it.

[HeidiUK]

I'm inclined to agree with you there Reptillian. I honestly think people should think more about the kids already in care than their own want to have bio kids with a partner. Especially when it comes to IVF.

But I'll get off my soap box.

H xx

[VD39]

If population was drastically lower than it is today, then I won't mind. For now, forget it.

My thoughts exactly.

[Guest]

kids are great..but like so many things in life..just because we can...doesn't mean everyone should

Definitely agreed. If everyone had children, it would just be added overpopulation trouble for the planet.

By the way, since I noticed I posted this topic without explicitly stating my vote... I'm childfree. Not much because I fear pregnancy or something (I actually don't), it's just that I want to do other things in life rather than spend my time as a mother (this goes for adopted children as well).

[Samael]

kids are great..but like so many things in life..just because we can...doesn't mean everyone should

Definitely agreed. If everyone had children, it would just be added overpopulation trouble for the planet.

By the way, since I noticed I posted this topic without explicitly stating my vote... I'm childfree. Not much because I fear pregnancy or something (I actually don't), it's just that I want to do other things in life rather than spend my time as a mother (this goes for adopted children as well).

Yes, there are still some things I want to do before I'd even consider crippling myself with an (adopted) child. When you have a child to watch over, it greatly limits what you can do. No more traveling the world and coming and going when you feel like it. Everything would have to be planned in advance to accomodate the needs of the child.

It's funny though that some people feel an obligation to reproduce. They feel that it would be selfish not to have children as soon as possible. I don't identify with this group of people, because the society does not own me, and I'll do what I decide, not what the society tries to decide for me.

[Guest]

I find the very accusation of being selfish due to not wanting children rather silly. It would mean that, in everyone's minds, each person should devote their life to another person. That's good if someone wants to and feels accomplished by looking after a child, but otherwise I see no reason why wanting to experience personal happiness above birthing a new individual in this world would be selfish at all. Right now, those who want children are technically selfish, since the world is overpopulated. I think childfree people could be considered as such only if there was an actual need for everyone to reproduce.