How many relationships are/have you been in?

[Guest]

Just a sort of demographic statistic for those who want to take part in it. Sorry about generalizing the age groups and poly relationships so much, but I wanted to keep the amount of choices reasonable, even if a bit imprecise. Anonymous votes are welcome, if you don't feel like telling your story.

I'll keep it short since I don't want to bother you much - I've been in just one relationship in my life, which did end mostly because I was asexual (and because I didn't want kids). I still miss him.

[PiF]

could you add more than 5 option on the first part please as there is no option to be loyal but to many at different times

[Guest]

could you add more than 5 option on the first part please as there is no option to be loyal but to many at different times

There's option 4 that covers polyamory. Or were you asking for something else?

[PiF]

not quite the poly is the ability to have seperate partners at the same time with all thier knowledge

my request was more in line with say during your lifes trip you have a partner..break up..later may have another etc

unless my understanding of poly is different to this

Polyamory (from Greek πολύ [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor [love]) is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

possibly I am reading that wrong?

[Guest]

.

[Narrow Mullen]

I've just been in one relationship, lasted for three years, ended just a few days ago. It was long distance, and I had told her about my asexuality. She didn't have a problem with it, but she felt guilty because I was so honest, she told me that she had slept with a guy about a month previously.

[Philip027]

I'm 25, just been in one "relationship" if you could call it that. I was 17-18 then.

I wouldn't say being ace (even though I had no conscious idea that I was back then; I never gave it much thought) was the primary factor behind it not working out, more that we were just in very different stages of life and this wasn't made readily apparent to either of us until we met each other in person. Without going into more gritty details than a public forum would care to read about, we'll just say that she was a lot older than I was.

It wasn't an ugly split or anything; we remained on friendly terms afterward, and the whole experience was new to me and taught me quite a lot about myself.

[Disabled Account]

My longest "relationship" was 10 hours and we never even saw each other during that time. Basically, in the evening we were discussing starting a relationship and we kind of agreed upon it but not really. Then the next morning I decided I didn't want to be in a relationship, so I "broke up" with him xP So, basically I've never had a relationship, but I did have a break up xD if that makes any sense to anyone but me :D

[Sockstealingnome]

20 years old, never been in a relationship nor do I seek one, and I voted 'I'm not asexual' in the last category because I didn't know what else to do. It would've messed up the other statistics if I voted with 'no.'

[Guest]

@ PiF

I suppose that, whether your partners give you consent to be with other people or just break up with them and find someone else, each person you end up being with counts as a relationship, no matter the circumstances. So you just "count" the number of people you've been with as something deeper than friends (either romantic, platonic, or other partners of that kind). Don't know if this answers your question - hope it does.

@ Doctor Azo and Sockstealingnome

Thanks for pointing that out; I've added the option for those who have never been in a relationship at all.

[MadRat]

I was in one relationship when I was 19. It was rather because I was under peer pressure and because I was curious and stupid. I didn´t really want to be in a relationship. The main reason for breaking up was that I wasn´t in love with this boy, so I didn´t see any reason why to continue this relationship. It lasted about two and half month and there was no sex at all, only hugging, cuddling and pecks on cheeks. He knew I´m a virgin, he was a virgin too, so we took it very slowly...and ended before anything really sexual happened. I´m glad for that. I didn´t know I´m asexual at those times.

[Cakey]

Oh dear,not much of a choice for relationships, and it appear that those who have four or more are obviously Polyamorous :)

[Cakey]

Bob Marley's quote, always makes me giggle......When he was asked why he was seeing so many women, "He replied, why make one happy, when I can make many happy".... bless him and may God Rest his soul :)

[Member33070]

x

[test account]

My relationships ended because in the first, i didnt want to have sex with him and so i ended it, and in the second, he didnt want to have sex with me anymore so he ended it. I didnt expect to feel so insulted.....

[Moon Thief]

I'm 18, and I've only been in one relationship that lasted four months. We didn't really break up because I was asexual though.

[faraway]

Two. I don't think asexuality had anything to do with the breakups. I wish it didn't have anything to do with relationships at all...

[Starred]

I've been in three. The first one ended for reasons outside my asexuality. The second, I also ended, but I feel like my asexuality influenced me. I'm still in my third relationship and have been for 3 months now. I think asexuality might eventually be part of the reason we split, though, but for now he's trying to be open to it and adapt, but he's very sexual.

[CallOfAComa]

I'm 22 and I've been in three relationships. The longest one was three years, the shortest was about 5 months. The first one ended because I became "distant and detached" according to her. The second one ended because I became too emotionally attached. The third one ended almost immediately after I refused to have sex with her.

[Samael]

I'm content being on my own. If I ever felt my life became boring, however, then I might consider a relationship to help keep myself amused. Other than that, I have no use for the drama of a relationship.

Business relationships are something else, of course, since they offer potential benefits for the participants. I assume that personal / romantic relationships were referenced by the thread though.

[Nekomata]

Two. The first one was online when I was about 17, lasted around 8 months or so. The one I'm in now I got into a month or two after my first break up - it's lasted almost three years so far.

I've been in other minature 'relationships' that never lasted more than an hour or so so those don't count xD

[Hospital Dreams]

My asexuality only played a part in my last break-up (number 4), because my ex-partner was constantly pressuring me for sex when I'm a repulsed gray-a, and have a pain disorder/ genital injury that makes sexual contact painful. It might've played a part in the ending of my second relationship, since I was really only interested in cuddling with her, and not so much sex and romance part of it. :/

[(Nightlight)]

I've been in two, one of which I am still in.

[DancingThroughTheShadows]

I have never been in a relationship, but would like to some day.

[God's Wolf]

I've been in two relationships, neither of them ended because of my asexuality, but because I really didn't actually "love" them like I thought I did. They were having a hard time in their life and I'm a very protective person, so I mistook being extremely protective for being in love.

[Serrin]

I dated one person in highschool, and it didn't last long.

[FrozenCherry]

What count as a relationship? lol... 3.

[corvalis]

Never been in a relationship. Probably will never be. I suppose maybe one day I might try it to see what it's like, but I don't have any sort of inner biological drive telling me to get romantic with somebody.

[Lyn]

I dated three guys in high school. I broke up with the first guy, it had nothing to do with being asexual. The second guy I dated was a total jerk about me being asexual, but I ended up breaking up with him because he was an abusive asshat. My third boyfriend, who I dated pretty quickly after my abusive relationship, doesn't really count. We were together for a few months, but we literally only held hands. He had left a bad relationship too, so there was little emotional connection either. We were just good friends during the time we were dating, and as soon as we broke up we were still good friends. So I don't really count that.

I didn't date for a few years after that, but this year I was in a relationship for about six months with a girl. She was sexual, and I know that she wanted to do it with me but she was very understanding that I didn't like sex. When friends started giving me a hard time about not putting out, she was very supportive and said to ignore them. If I wasn't comfortable with sex, then she didn't want to put me in that position. We lived over an hour away from each other and neither one of us can drive...it wasn't a problem during the school year because we both went to a college that was half an hour away from each of us. But after we didn't see each other for a couple months straight in the summer, we ended up breaking up via text message.

So I wouldn't say being asexual had anything to do with any of my relationships ending.

[Sally]

I wish the older asexuals on AVEN would vote on these things. I'm tired of being just about the only one over 30.

Meanwhile, consider that this poll doesn't mean much because young asexuals who have known they're asexual for some time probably haven't had the number of relationships that older asexuals have.