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MadRat

Sexuals, would you like to become asexual?

  

  1. 1. Would you like to become ace?

    • No
      36
    • Yes, for the rest of my life
      30
    • Yes, but only temporarily
      11
    • Other
      13


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Hexagon

I might like to become completely aromantic... I can see the advantages of being completely aromantic and asexual, as I find the majority of the population lets their sexuality overtake their actions and emotions, which would irritate me.

I'm dual sexual, meaning demisexual with men and completely lesbian with women, and I wish I could be completely asexual. I've always been some sort of anti-sexual for cultural and practical reasons, and I don't really like the way that I can enjoy something so utterly wrong like sex. It's an utter waste of time, and I guess that the only good things about sex are the way that it burns calories, the way it enables you to do whatever you won't allow yourself to do usually, and the intimacy you achieve when you have sex with someone you love.

Nonetheless, sex is immoral and in our age, we can reproduce through in vetro fertilization, and therefore, this is an unnecessary sin.

As some of you may see, I'm only starting to rediscover my sexuality after a very long period of prudence, which I want to continue, so sorry about the harshness.

Alright, so I admit, I'm curious. Despite what I just said, I'm not antisexual, although I'd have no real problem if people stopped having sex, reproducing through alternative means as you say. Why do you think sex is actually immoral? I don't see how its hurting anyone (assuming the participants are consenting adults).

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Geo

Absolutely not. Sex is great, I'd do it twice a day if I had the chance. Having sex makes me feel good. Being sexually attracted to people feels good. If anything I'd increase my sex drive if I could.

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Zombie-apocalypse

Im sexually attracted to women. I wish I have no attraction towards women.

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Sparky29252

You know, I would actually love to become temporarily asexual as a point of comparison. I know what it is to be masculine and want to try being feminine, straight to gay and sexual to ace. I'm generally curious like that.

Would it be easier? In my limited view, probably not. It would be different for sure, but not inherently easier or harder than my life as it is. Though I suspect flirting would change significantly without sexual attraction being a point of consideration.

Now as to a permanent change no thank you. I do enjoy having sexuality as part of my identity. Then again if I had to chose between being a vanilla sexual or a kinky ace I think I would go with ace.

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Leelian

I'm asexual, and would only choose to become sexual temporarily, to try to understand more of what my sexual partner feels. I feel that if I was sexual, I'd choose to become asexual temporarily to try and understand what it was like. I can't help my sexuality and it's a part of me.

I'll try to not put words in my partner's mouth, but I think he might briefly, very briefly choose to become asexual if only to understand me. We've had countless discussions where we couldn't understand each others' sides (the connection with having sex versus the lack of interest in something so primal).

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Pansexualandproud

I think it would be nice to be asexual so that way I never have to feel guilty or selfish for wanting my partner. I do feel that I pressure her because I'm sexual though she has told me repeatedly that I don't. I have quite low self esteem and I am highly doubtful due to the abuse a suffered so when I log on and read about all the aces who just go on and on about how horridly they had been treated by their sexual partners, I can't help but feel guilty. I knw it would be the best thing I could do for my partner because all I want is her love and happiness, nothing more.

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PlayfulSadism

I don't know if I'd choose to become asexual. The idea is kind of scary to me. Sex is a huge part of how I interact with people- not that I sleep with a lot of people, mind you, but I thoroughly enjoy sexually themed jokes, I take great interest in the different ways people can receive gratification, and I also really enjoy sex.

A significant aspect of my personality would be gone with my orientation; a part of me that I've had fun exploring and that others enjoy about me.

I think that if I remembered my previous sexuality, I'd feel like I was having an identity crisis every time I encountered something even vaguely sexy that no longer brought me pleasure. I'd still attempt sex every once in a while, but it obviously wouldn't be the same and I'd feel bad. So that would probably be a no.

On the other hand, my partner is an ace. She's never known sexual attraction or desire, and so she's never been distracted or bothered by it the way I am. She never experiences the hurt that comes from being rejected or the guilt of wanting something your partner can't give you. I'm a bit envious of that freedom. If I were ace, I might even be able to dodge the biologically hardwired mate-guarding instinct (i.e, jealousy) that often comes with being sexual. I think of all that I could accomplish and discover about myself if I didn't have a libido and the concept instantly becomes more attractive.

There's also the question of whether my relationship with her would be the same. Her physical beauty played no small part in my initial noticing her. Since then I've discovered the many other wonderful aspects of her personality, but should the physical attraction cease, would I still insist on the same closeness with her that I do now? Would I perhaps find other minds and personalities more attractive? How would it change how I interact with her emotionally?

But there's also the fact that sex puts an incredible strain on every sexual/ace relationship, mine included. I know it would make her happier if I never wanted to have sex again, and I don't think I would miss what I no longer had an interest in.

All in all, I think I would try it as long as it wasn't permanent. If nothing else, it could give me insight into how that hidden 1% thinks and feels, and my partner would have time to get comfortable with her asexuality without pressure from me.

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Lady Girl

I just wanted to comment that not all aces are 'without a libido' as you mentioned. In fact, a great many of them do have a libido...asexuality is more about not experiencing sexual attraction and in many cases not desiring sexual interactions. I also believe a great many are attracted to others, desire relationships and the like...I know my husband does. Yes, he could go without sex, but that doesn't mean he never feels rejected or hurt either (just not quite the same way we do).

It's an interesting idea to think about though, and I think it's awesome that you are trying to understand how your girlfriend feels. :cake:

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PlayfulSadism

I just wanted to comment that not all aces are 'without a libido' as you mentioned. In fact, a great many of them do have a libido...asexuality is more about not experiencing sexual attraction and in many cases not desiring sexual interactions. I also believe a great many are attracted to others, desire relationships and the like...I know my husband does. Yes, he could go without sex, but that doesn't mean he never feels rejected or hurt either (just not quite the same way we do).

It's an interesting idea to think about though, and I think it's awesome that you are trying to understand how your girlfriend feels. :cake:

Thank you-I wasn't intentionally neglecting the rest of the spectrum, I just wanted to propose a parallel with what I'm most familiar.

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Goonie

not a chance. because then I wouldn't be me

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Sunako

i would never change my asexuality

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nuchnow

I found losing my sexuality was much like turning off the color on the TV set and watching everything in black, white and gray. You still see the show but now things look a lot duller and you no longer can see a lot of the detail.

I find it calmer but much less exciting or rewarding.

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Saucy

I relate pretty heavily to the color TV/ black and white TV anology: losing sexuality would be to me like losing a huge dimension of how I perceive the world, what the make up of my reality is, etc. I also associate sexuality heavily with my creativity, so I'd have a harder time connecting with that part of myself (which is huge).

On the other hand, there are many ways I feel like being sexual can be a huge pain in terms of distracting me from other things I would like to focus on, creating a narrowed view of connection, etc. I think it would be great if *other* forms of connection felt equally rewarding, so that I wasn't so focused on this one kind of pleasure. I also think sexuality can make people so focused on partnership they miss out on cultivating greater social empathy sometimes, and aren't as available to give to other people, and that's true of me too -- I think I'd probably have a more well-rounded life is I could enjoy more diverse pleasures as much as sexuality and if I could offer time and energy to other things in a more balanced way.

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Mondo_Eric

I personally "becoming" in terms of sexual orientations is not possible. You either feel sexually attracted or not, that is biological. You cannot feel the urge of sex and then suddenly not feel it. I have never felt it so I am ace. Gays cannot be sexually attracted to the opposite sex, if they are they are bi and they are always that way.

Sorry I did not read the scientist part. The question is toward sexual people so I don't qualify to answer.

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Lady Girl

I personally "becoming" in terms of sexual orientations is not possible. You either feel sexually attracted or not, that is biological. You cannot feel the urge of sex and then suddenly not feel it. I have never felt it so I am ace. Gays cannot be sexually attracted to the opposite sex, if they are they are bi and they are always that way.

Sorry I did not read the scientist part. The question is toward sexual people so I don't qualify to answer.

You can answer it in the reverse like others have.

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PeterDave

I have wished that I was asexual since I was fourteen years old. I described myself as an aromantic asexual to my friends through most of high school to explain my not having or seeking a girlfriend, even though i know I am definitely a very romantic sexual.

Now I am in a loving relationship with a girlfriend who is Ace, and more than ever I wish that I wasn't sexually motivated.

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Forever

No, I'm happy with how things are right now.

Maybe I should add that I used to be asexual and I find my current sexual orientation much more enjoyable. I love being able to be attracted to both men and women ^_^ Thus, I wouldn't want my sexuality to change at the moment.

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