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MadRat

Sexuals, would you like to become asexual?

  

  1. 1. Would you like to become ace?

    • No
      36
    • Yes, for the rest of my life
      30
    • Yes, but only temporarily
      11
    • Other
      13


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MadRat

There´s already a thread where aces can discuss about wanting or not wanting to change their orientation. But what about sexuals here on AVEN? If it was possible, would you like to become asexual? Would you like to find out how does it feel not to feel sexual attracion? Or do you think it would be easier to be asexual?

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Guest Jay26

I will stay Ace thank you.

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PiF

become?

this isn't auditions for the glee project

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MadRat

become?

this isn't auditions for the glee project

What? I don´t get it. Is this word "become" incorrect or what? I´m Czech, so if it´s wrong word I´m sorry but I think everyone understands my question anyway.

And don´t take it too seriously.

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Gho St Ory Qwan

become?

this isn't auditions for the glee project

What? I don´t get it. Is this word "become" incorrect or what? I´m Czech, so if it´s wrong word I´m sorry but I think everyone understands my question anyway.

And don´t take it too seriously.

Yeah it's completely hypothetical. The wording is fine, as it's not as though you're suggesting it really is a possibility or anything.

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Lady Girl

Would you remember your sexuality...you know to compare the big difference? :huh:

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MadRat

Would you remember your sexuality...you know to compare the big difference? :huh:

I would say yes, you would remember.

It´s hypothetical question, so you can add to it as many "if" as you wish.

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my_name_is_coco

ace for me... I am happy about it.no worries about pregnancy or sexually-transmitted diseases.

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Alan Degas

First off, I'm not fully sexual but more along the lines of demisexual.

I can't honestly say if I would want to be fully asexual... It would definitely have its benefits sometimes, because I do have a high libido and it would be great if that would be that and there was no need to involve another person, because sex does inevitably cause hurt feelings every once in a while.

But then on the other hand. I do like sex. I know as an asexual I could still like sex and engage in it, but it is nice (and I'm sure a hell of a lot easier for us ) that I can honestly say I am both emotionally and sexually attracted to my husband. So yeah, I'm gonna go with voting "no" :)

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Vdougie

I'm ace and would like to stay that way.

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`Silver

I'm happy to be an ace, but that's because my sexual orientation is part of me and I grew used to seeing myself as ace, among the other traits of my being and personality. If I had been born sexual, I would have liked to be a sexual, I guess.

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Lady Girl

It's a hard question to answer. I can see the advantages of both. I just wonder if I was, if my husband would like that better? :mellow:

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test account

Old post.

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`Silver

Easier to be ace? No way, sorry. :lol:

If any, it's much more difficult to handle relationships as an ace, if you're with a sexual. From my point of view, an asexual wanting to become sexual would be more logical than a sexual wanting to become asexual, when it comes to dealing with romance.

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Pamcakes

No. Aces face a whole bunch of social and romantic hurdles that being a Sexual grants privilege from.

Also, I don't see my sexuality as any sort of problem, so see no reason to even contemplate changing it if I were given the option.

P.

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Olivier

It would certainly make my marriage easier, but it would also make me "not me". It would be interesting to try out, but I think that I would find I fundamentally felt like I was someone else, and if so, I'd be glad to end the experiment and go back to being "me".

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Gho St Ory Qwan

It would certainly make my marriage easier, but it would also make me "not me". It would be interesting to try out, but I think that I would find I fundamentally felt like I was someone else, and if so, I'd be glad to end the experiment and go back to being "me".

Likewise I'd find the idea of being temporarily sexual quite an experience. No desire to change myself though, more of a curiosity thing for sure.

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Lady Girl

It would certainly make my marriage easier, but it would also make me "not me". It would be interesting to try out, but I think that I would find I fundamentally felt like I was someone else, and if so, I'd be glad to end the experiment and go back to being "me".

Me too.

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alto

I think I am simply a Sexual going through an Asexual-like phase.

It would be interesting to be a full ace for about a year, and then be a full Sexual for about a year, and just switch on and off. If I could switch sexual orientations at will, I probably would constantly just to see what it would be like to be lesbian, straight, bi etc.

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sexualwithasexual

I think I already know how it feels to be ace, in a way. I'm NOT sexually attracted to so many other people. And sometimes they are attracted to me. But what I wish more, is just to be able to understand deep down what attraction feels like to an asexual. I know it's there, it's just never expressed sexually. This still confuses me, and I'd love to experience that kind of attraction to understand my asexual partner better and to better understand her feelings for me.

I think the asexual life is harder, as so much of our culture here in the states anyway, identifies with being a sexual person. Too many conversations, movies, ads, jokes, etc, are wrapped in sexual language, and I think it would feel very alienating.

Also, I love the way sex feels. To me it's like asking, "Do you wish you didn't like chocolate?" I may wish I didn't like chocolate, but from this side, it's almost impossible to imagine not ever wanting that. I do think there is a profound way of loving that I don't quite experience that an asexual experiences; that I'd like to know.

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MoreThanX

It would certainly make my marriage easier, but it would also make me "not me". It would be interesting to try out, but I think that I would find I fundamentally felt like I was someone else, and if so, I'd be glad to end the experiment and go back to being "me".

Likewise I'd find the idea of being temporarily sexual quite an experience. No desire to change myself though, more of a curiosity thing for sure.

Agreed on the curiosity thing. As long as I could go back to being ace, and I knew I wouldn't feel all 'aaah, I miss sexuality so much!' then it might be interesting, and give me a better understanding of how most people experience the world.

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MadRat

Agreed on the curiosity thing. As long as I could go back to being ace, and I knew I wouldn't feel all 'aaah, I miss sexuality so much!' then it might be interesting, and give me a better understanding of how most people experience the world.

And this is how this damned gray part of me works. I know how it feels like to be sexually attracted to someone because I was. Only to one man, but I know this feeling. It´s confusing and disturbing for me because usually I don´t feel it. If I had a choice, I would eliminate grayness of my aceness completely. It´s useless because I don´t want to be in a relationship anyway.

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Data

It would certainly make my marriage easier, but it would also make me "not me". It would be interesting to try out, but I think that I would find I fundamentally felt like I was someone else, and if so, I'd be glad to end the experiment and go back to being "me".

So would you say that you weren't you before you had hit puberty? Did you had this problem when you hit puberty, and your sexuality had changed?

It seems that this is only a problem if you think that it is a problem, both ways, asexual>sexual, or sexual>asexual.

I think the asexual life is harder, as so much of our culture here in the states anyway, identifies with being a sexual person. Too many conversations, movies, ads, jokes, etc, are wrapped in sexual language, and I think it would feel very alienating.

I find it weird personally that this can be much of a problem, aren't you supposed to notice less things that doesn't interest you? I usually don't even notice sexuality, it must be really obvious for me, even sex jokes require some processing that ends with oh so it was just about something something looking like penis? What is funny about something looking similar to a body part? :ph34r:

To me it is often the opposite I was watching some movie, and lawyer was talking about the case with his client, and suddenly they start to make out, and have sex. I am like wat, but what does it have to do with the case that you were talking about? It just comes out of nowhere for me.

Also, I love the way sex feels. To me it's like asking, "Do you wish you didn't like chocolate?" I may wish I didn't like chocolate, but from this side, it's almost impossible to imagine not ever wanting that. I do think there is a profound way of loving that I don't quite experience that an asexual experiences; that I'd like to know.

Maybe it just seem profound because culture makes sex as something dirty. It seems like ace romantics are just like sexual romantics - sexual attraction. If you could only experience romantic attraction, then you could see the boundaries clearer, but I didn't read about anything that would make it seem more profound.

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rlib
So would you say that you weren't you before you had hit puberty?

People change as they go through life's stages. You can't really revert to a previous stage, even if you want to!

20110731.gif

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Mimir

If it was possible, would you like to become asexual?

Without a doubt. Where can I sign up?

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Olivier

It would certainly make my marriage easier, but it would also make me "not me". It would be interesting to try out, but I think that I would find I fundamentally felt like I was someone else, and if so, I'd be glad to end the experiment and go back to being "me".

So would you say that you weren't you before you had hit puberty? Did you had this problem when you hit puberty, and your sexuality had changed?

It seems that this is only a problem if you think that it is a problem, both ways, asexual>sexual, or sexual>asexual.

Firstly, yes - developing sexuality at puberty made me feel fundamentally different, which was somewhat problematic to adapt to.

Secondly, while I remember to some extent what it felt like to be pre-sexual, I've never been an asexual adult, and it would feel foreign. I'm sure I could adapt to it, but I'm also fairly sure I'd rather not.

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sexualwithasexual
I think the asexual life is harder, as so much of our culture here in the states anyway, identifies with being a sexual person. Too many conversations, movies, ads, jokes, etc, are wrapped in sexual language, and I think it would feel very alienating.

I find it weird personally that this can be much of a problem, aren't you supposed to notice less things that doesn't interest you? I usually don't even notice sexuality, it must be really obvious for me, even sex jokes require some processing that ends with oh so it was just about something something looking like penis? What is funny about something looking similar to a body part? :ph34r:

To me it is often the opposite I was watching some movie, and lawyer was talking about the case with his client, and suddenly they start to make out, and have sex. I am like wat, but what does it have to do with the case that you were talking about? It just comes out of nowhere for me.

The examples you give seem to describe exactly the type of alienation I think I would feel as an asexual. That lack of getting it would be alienating I would think, no?

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Data
I think the asexual life is harder, as so much of our culture here in the states anyway, identifies with being a sexual person. Too many conversations, movies, ads, jokes, etc, are wrapped in sexual language, and I think it would feel very alienating.

I find it weird personally that this can be much of a problem, aren't you supposed to notice less things that doesn't interest you? I usually don't even notice sexuality, it must be really obvious for me, even sex jokes require some processing that ends with oh so it was just about something something looking like penis? What is funny about something looking similar to a body part? :ph34r:

To me it is often the opposite I was watching some movie, and lawyer was talking about the case with his client, and suddenly they start to make out, and have sex. I am like wat, but what does it have to do with the case that you were talking about? It just comes out of nowhere for me.

The examples you give seem to describe exactly the type of alienation I think I would feel as an asexual. That lack of getting it would be alienating I would think, no?

I don't feel that way because the word is asexual to me 99%+ of the time. It must be something really obvious, or I must make myself consciously think about it, but it goes back to being asexual instantly when that situation or topic changes.

I don't care if 99% of the people are sexual, when it doesn't affect me. I never had felt a need to feel exactly like a statistical human does. I can see that this is important for some, and it is one of the reasons to question different orientations then heterosexuality, but that isn't important for me, world would be less interesting if everybody would be the same.

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Gho St Ory Qwan
I think the asexual life is harder, as so much of our culture here in the states anyway, identifies with being a sexual person. Too many conversations, movies, ads, jokes, etc, are wrapped in sexual language, and I think it would feel very alienating.

I find it weird personally that this can be much of a problem, aren't you supposed to notice less things that doesn't interest you? I usually don't even notice sexuality, it must be really obvious for me, even sex jokes require some processing that ends with oh so it was just about something something looking like penis? What is funny about something looking similar to a body part? :ph34r:

To me it is often the opposite I was watching some movie, and lawyer was talking about the case with his client, and suddenly they start to make out, and have sex. I am like wat, but what does it have to do with the case that you were talking about? It just comes out of nowhere for me.

The examples you give seem to describe exactly the type of alienation I think I would feel as an asexual. That lack of getting it would be alienating I would think, no?

I don't feel that way because the word is asexual to me 99%+ of the time. It must be something really obvious, or I must make myself consciously think about it, but it goes back to being asexual instantly when that situation or topic changes.

I don't care if 99% of the people are sexual, when it doesn't affect me. I never had felt a need to feel exactly like a statistical human does. I can see that this is important for some, and it is one of the reasons to question different orientations then heterosexuality, but that isn't important for me, world would be less interesting if everybody would be the same.

What if sex interests you but you aren't interested in sex with others?

Then you'd still be aware of such stuff.

Or if like me, you knew about sex and abuse from an unusually young age (I was assessing people for their rapist potential at, at least 5 yrs old), it's not hard to see sexuality in this word. It's just not something that you see as something worth the positive attention it's given.

In which case, yes, it's very alienating for that reason.

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Data

What if sex interests you but you aren't interested in sex with others?

Then you'd still be aware of such stuff.

Not really sure how it works, you are interested in who have sex with whom? Or just in theory of, as a theoretical thing it is just like anything else, seeing uncountable evidences of gravity every day does not distract me, and I know the theory of it. I think about them as much as I think about sexuality when I see it. If I would see something unexpected then that could make me think about it, otherwise it is just a background.

Or if like me, you knew about sex and abuse from an unusually young age (I was assessing people for their rapist potential at, at least 5 yrs old),

That sucks, but that is also a problem for sexual females. I don't have to do it as a male.

it's not hard to see sexuality in this word. It's just not something that you see as something worth the positive attention it's given.

Why not just see it as something that you aren't interested in doing, like with uncountable other things that you see every day, that you aren't interested in. I don't feel like I should share feelings with other humans specifically. I don't feel like lacking sexual attraction is anything special to lack among potentially limitless amount of possible feelings. Humans are just a specie, a result of natural selection there isn't anything objectively good about being a statical human.

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