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Explaining 'Not interested' to sexual people


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Re: Explaining 'Not interested' to sexual people

Me: I'm not interested in sex.

Guy: How can you not be interested in sex?!

Me: How can you not be interested in gay sex?

:P

That is probably the best way to explain it to hetero- and homosexual people. It's the bi- and pansexual people that always get it wrong. :lol:

Joking. If they didn't understand it then it doesn't matter. I don't talk about my sexuality with other people generally because it won't make a difference to them. It would be like me knowing their sexuality. Who they want to sleep with won't make a difference in my life, the same works the other way.

I also think this is in the wrong forum. I'd like to suggest it get moved to Musing and Rants, since this is more about how asexuals can explain it and not about sexual partners, friends or allies.

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Gho St Ory Qwan

Yeah, I'm fine with saying 'never mind' if someone doesn't understand. If they push it I try to figure out if they're genuinely curious or just need me to pick one of the options they will only accept. If it's the latter, I dislike their persistence. It usually indicates they want to get in your pants and if they can't accept my sexuality (with or without understanding) they're not going to have much more than an acquaintance out of me probably.

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I usually stay away from comparing asexuality with other orientations. I take examples from other things.

"drinking cola" as an abstract example.

So, most people are hetero - drink Coca Cola.

Some people are homo - drink Pepsi Cola.

Some people prefer Afri Cola or Dr. Pepper (where I live, both are rather small brands, compared to Coca and Pepsi, so depending on the location of the person I talk to, I vary; in any case, the smaller brands refer to bi and pan/poly).

And then, you have people who rather just drink water. It's still the basic desire to drink, but without the other stuff - sugar, aroma, sex - added to it.

I also use Coca Cola to explain how everyone seems to be totally sex-crazed. No-one thinks it's overkill that you can walk into a gas station in the desert and buy a cold Coca Cola, that there are huge advertisements for it or that seemingly everyone drinks it (or has done so in the past, has nothing against it,...) - but if you'd find Coca Cola really weird and creepy, you'd start to notice it more and more and think everyone else is crazy about it.

It usually takes a few days, but people start to notice the advertisements more and begin to realize how sex seems to me: it's everywhere, everyone likes it; and you don't really get it. Because, no-one really thinks of Coca Cola as the essential part of their life either.

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I'd just ignore them immediately or look like I'm not interested. They'll go away.

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  • 2 months later...
Gho St Ory Qwan

I usually stay away from comparing asexuality with other orientations. I take examples from other things.

"drinking cola" as an abstract example.

So, most people are hetero - drink Coca Cola.

Some people are homo - drink Pepsi Cola.

Some people prefer Afri Cola or Dr. Pepper (where I live, both are rather small brands, compared to Coca and Pepsi, so depending on the location of the person I talk to, I vary; in any case, the smaller brands refer to bi and pan/poly).

And then, you have people who rather just drink water. It's still the basic desire to drink, but without the other stuff - sugar, aroma, sex - added to it.

I also use Coca Cola to explain how everyone seems to be totally sex-crazed. No-one thinks it's overkill that you can walk into a gas station in the desert and buy a cold Coca Cola, that there are huge advertisements for it or that seemingly everyone drinks it (or has done so in the past, has nothing against it,...) - but if you'd find Coca Cola really weird and creepy, you'd start to notice it more and more and think everyone else is crazy about it.

It usually takes a few days, but people start to notice the advertisements more and begin to realize how sex seems to me: it's everywhere, everyone likes it; and you don't really get it. Because, no-one really thinks of Coca Cola as the essential part of their life either.

This is a very good one. ^_^

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Something else you could try is to put them in your shoes. Get them to explain why they are interested in sex and what sexual attraction feels like. I've found that while sometimes people accept explanations, they don't really grasp the concept so giving them examples (through questions or in my case, TMI stories xD) helps a bit.

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