will123 Posted January 8, 2023 Share Posted January 8, 2023 Just now, daveb said: I didn't create that connection. She had a famous song called "Like a Virgin". Even though I think it was early in her career, people found it laughable. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pickles. Posted January 9, 2023 Share Posted January 9, 2023 18 hours ago, Zozette said: I will be turning 65 this year but despite having arthritis and worsening deafness, I don’t feel anywhere near that old. I have three sons aged between 40-45 years old and I have accepted that I will never be a grandmother and, the way the world is going, maybe that is a good thing. I have several similarities! I just turned 65 in September, I have arthritis, I have three kids between the ages of 37-43, and I will never be a grandmother. Welcome to Aven! 🍰🍰🍰 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
A-Critter Posted January 12, 2023 Share Posted January 12, 2023 Sure, I'm in my 60s. I've been a member of this site for a long time, but don't often check in. Welcome, glad you found the place and the forum. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted February 9, 2023 Share Posted February 9, 2023 Welcome all! I joined AVEN in my 40s. I will be 64 next week. For now, let's party. 🍾 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PugetSoul Posted March 1, 2023 Share Posted March 1, 2023 I turned 70 in September 2022. Female, very healthy, never married, no kids. Family history of folks living into their late 90s; my great-grandmother lived to 108 but kept lying for years that she was 95! Wondering when I'm in late 80s or 90s, how I'll get help handling daily living activities. Not thinking I'll need nursing home for health needs, just physical help. Has anyone heard of senior retirement communities for aces? Northwestern Washington State where I live would be ideal--no extreme weather, just mild winters and moderate summers. 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MaryAnneH Posted March 1, 2023 Share Posted March 1, 2023 5 hours ago, PugetSoul said: I turned 70 in September 2022. Female, very healthy, never married, no kids. Family history of folks living into their late 90s; my great-grandmother lived to 108 but kept lying for years that she was 95! Wondering when I'm in late 80s or 90s, how I'll get help handling daily living activities. Not thinking I'll need nursing home for health needs, just physical help. Has anyone heard of senior retirement communities for aces? Northwestern Washington State where I live would be ideal--no extreme weather, just mild winters and moderate summers. We are very similar in life path. There are a few LGBTQA "retirement" communities scattered through the US, if you google them. I've had the same thoughts! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted March 1, 2023 Share Posted March 1, 2023 @PugetSoul and @MaryAnneH, welcome and ! 11 hours ago, PugetSoul said: Wondering when I'm in late 80s or 90s, how I'll get help handling daily living activities. Not thinking I'll need nursing home for health needs, just physical help. Chances are I will be facing that some day (at least a couple of decades away!), and not sure how it will work out. My mother is 86 and has reached the point where she needs some assistance, mainly due to deteriorating eyesight. She is likely to be moving in with my sister sometime this year. But for people like us, we won't have adult offspring to take us in or to provide assistance in home, so we have to come up with other solutions. I don't have answers at this point in time. Maybe, like my grandfather, who was able to do a lot for himself, I'll need to move into some sort of retirement housing some day (and hope I can afford it!). He only did that in his last few years, in his 90s. Some sort of in home care would be good, as long as that is feasible. I don't have any specifics though. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nick2 Posted March 1, 2023 Share Posted March 1, 2023 This is not only a problem for ACES. Often with married couples one partner dies and the other has to figure out the same thing. I guess most might have kids but that is no guarantee either. Having long term health insurance might be part of the solution. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Latestarter Posted March 3, 2023 Share Posted March 3, 2023 I’m afraid that when you get to a certain age you become meaningless to most people, often no reflection of what you were like for the rest of your life. My parents wanted no-one but each other (and me before I left home). Neither could imagine life without the other. Then my Dad started wearing out, bit by bit, until he went to hospital and died. Suddenly Mum was on her own with no family or friends. She’d outlived all her family and friends but even so, she and Dad pretty much isolated themselves. She wanted to continue living at home rather than moving close to me and stayed as independent as possible, deteriorating eyesight and hearing allowing. Now, at 96, she still lives alone in her own home, bedridden with carers she can hardly recognise and is dreadfully lonely. She has got what she thought she wanted but 15 years ago she could never imagine how it would feel. I have 2 children but the chances of them wanting to be around when I’m old are pretty slim. I’ve thought about retirement villages with grounds and amenities but also onsite care facilities for when you need them. Currently I can’t imagine moving to one until I’m approaching 80 but you never know. Not cheap but if my sons are set up with their own lives I will have to sort out my own. It’s definitely worth considering what options are available and affordable well in advance. Don’t just assume it will all sort out by itself. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Frogster Posted March 3, 2023 Share Posted March 3, 2023 I am wondering about my own options. I have made the decision to live in town instead of out where I would need to either be able to drive or be driven. My house has room for one or more other people but I don't know anyone who I would want to be around that much. I am watching my friend basically die out of town without the ability to drive and having burned through most all the people who were willing to help for a while. 6+ years into this long decline I am stepping back and trying to find the courage to just walk away. I highly suspect that someday someone will just walk away from me. It sucks. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nick2 Posted March 3, 2023 Share Posted March 3, 2023 We come into this world helpless and in many cases go out the same way. Wish there were better options but sadly there are not. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pickles. Posted April 8, 2023 Share Posted April 8, 2023 I'm banking on my youngest child (of three). They're all great kids, but she is the most caring. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ashpenaz Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 My problem is I have no money. I haven't had a great career, and I'm going to essentially have to survive on Social Security. I'm not sure which retirement homes would even take me. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 28, 2023 Share Posted April 28, 2023 https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/327272 I found out in 2016 that I'm asexual, in about a month, I'll be seeing several friends that I haven't seen since 2011 and I plan use the info at the above link to help explain being an "ace". I believe that I'm a graysexual/grayromantic, the above link says: ...but only in very specific circumstances I was wondering if there's any way to find out what those circumstances are (I'm 66 and I have never been in a relationship [or wanted to be], but I have several long term friendships)? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted April 28, 2023 Share Posted April 28, 2023 10 hours ago, lislislis said: I was wondering if there's any way to find out what those circumstances The only way I know is through experience and self-reflection, but maybe someone knows of other ways. Welcome and ! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pawsmeow Posted April 29, 2023 Share Posted April 29, 2023 Hi, there! I am seeking older adults with similar experiences as mine. I came out after my 65th birthday. It is never too late to discover who you are. Would love to chat with you! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted April 29, 2023 Share Posted April 29, 2023 On 4/28/2023 at 1:14 AM, lislislis said: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/327272 I found out in 2016 that I'm asexual, in about a month, I'll be seeing several friends that I haven't seen since 2011 and I plan use the info at the above link to help explain being an "ace". I believe that I'm a graysexual/grayromantic, the above link says: ...but only in very specific circumstances I was wondering if there's any way to find out what those circumstances are (I'm 66 and I have never been in a relationship [or wanted to be], but I have several long term friendships)? That a year before I 'finally' joined AVEN, even though I had known about the forum and identified as asexual since 2005. Are you seeing all these people at the same time? While I'm out to several friends, I told them one at at time. I can't imagine doing it in front of a group. I hope it goes well and your friends accept this well. I only had one person seem bewildered by the whole concept. The rest were completely fine with it. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted April 29, 2023 Share Posted April 29, 2023 @Pawsmeow Hello. Welcome! (Below is an official, green, mod message.) Hi. I'm just letting you know I've merged your Welcome Lounge thread with the "60's" thread in the Older Asexuals forum. LeChat, Welcome Lounge, Announcements, and Alternate Language moderator 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mindlife Posted April 30, 2023 Share Posted April 30, 2023 Welcome to AVEN! Age: 60 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted April 30, 2023 Share Posted April 30, 2023 9 hours ago, Pawsmeow said: Hi, there! I am seeking older adults with similar experiences as mine. I came out after my 65th birthday. It is never too late to discover who you are. Would love to chat with you! Welcome to AVEN! I'm 61 and have identified as asexual since I was 44. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 30, 2023 Share Posted April 30, 2023 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08ZLP9D38 I recently bought this t-shirt (in grey and purple), I may wear them when I visit my friends. I just sent a link to my FB page to one friend I'll visit next month, the public part (visible without logging in) of my FB page says I'm an ACE (I don't explain ACE on my FB page though) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted April 30, 2023 Share Posted April 30, 2023 There are a growing number of older members who've realized that they are asexual. I figured it out when I was about 60; I read about asexuality in an on-line article which mentioned AVEN. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted April 30, 2023 Share Posted April 30, 2023 7 hours ago, Sally said: There are a growing number of older members who've realized that they are asexual. I figured it out when I was about 60; I read about asexuality in an on-line article which mentioned AVEN. It's been discussed in the past but the theory about older persons (50+) finding out about asexuality was that they are getting more comfortable in looking up their sexuality (or lack thereof) than when they were younger. In my case I just stumbled onto the newspaper article in my signature (not viewable if you're using a phone to access AVEN). As I'm prone to say, I always thought I was straight just not putting any effort into it. I wasn't questioning my lack of a sexuality, but I was so happy to read the article and after some surfing on AVEN, I've identified as asexual ever since. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 13, 2023 Share Posted May 13, 2023 The friend I sent my FB ace status to reacted very well, he indicated that he didn't care but seemed a little surprised (I've know him since 1975). I expect my other friends I'll likely see soon will react in a similar way (basically, no reaction). On a somewhat related issue, when people I work with ask me if I've ever been married (or in a relationship) I tell them that as far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be single (and that I don't want children), i don't think most people understand asexuality so my staying single comment is my way of saying I'm asexual. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted May 13, 2023 Share Posted May 13, 2023 9 hours ago, lislislis said: The friend I sent my FB ace status to reacted very well, he indicated that he didn't care but seemed a little surprised (I've know him since 1975). I expect my other friends I'll likely see soon will react in a similar way (basically, no reaction). On a somewhat related issue, when people I work with ask me if I've ever been married (or in a relationship) I tell them that as far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be single (and that I don't want children), i don't think most people understand asexuality so my staying single comment is my way of saying I'm asexual. I had those feelings in my mid-20s when everyone in my social circle was getting married. This despite I kind of wnated to have sex with someone (without having a girlfriend). I know that sounds bad. That's probably why it never happened. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lilibulero Posted May 13, 2023 Share Posted May 13, 2023 I'm into my 64th year, and 10th year of being out as ace. As for the issue of what to do when I become disabled/ frail, well I grow a bit of hemlock and digitalis in the garden, so it's all good. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted May 14, 2023 Share Posted May 14, 2023 7 hours ago, Lilibulero said: I'm into my 64th year, and 10th year of being out as ace. As for the issue of what to do when I become disabled/ frail, well I grow a bit of hemlock and digitalis in the garden, so it's all good. I guess there's a criminal course involving a fellow from Toronto who is on trial for selling sodium nitrite to people around the world for suicide purposes: https://www.google.com/amp/s/beta.ctvnews.ca/local/toronto/2023/5/10/1_6393515.amp.html Quote Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted May 16, 2023 Share Posted May 16, 2023 On 4/24/2023 at 8:22 PM, ashpenaz said: My problem is I have no money. I haven't had a great career, and I'm going to essentially have to survive on Social Security. I'm not sure which retirement homes would even take me. You're not alone. I'm in my early 50's , on disability (SSDI. SSI) and have no retirement because I work at a state clerical job for years that didn't pay into retirement. I will probably live off of disability (SSDI, SSI) retirement once I turn 62 , 65 or 70 years old. For now, my monthly income comes from disability (SSDI,SSI) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted May 16, 2023 Share Posted May 16, 2023 Are there any Aven members over 77 years old? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 18, 2023 Share Posted May 18, 2023 Terminology: My latest research on myself (done in 2022-12 with online quizs and lists of characteristics of asexual people) was inspired by the BROS comedy movie (which I bought on DVD in 2022-11). If I take an online quiz with the options of Straight, Bisexual, Gay only (Asexuality not a possible classification), the quiz result says I'm 100% Gay (<- this is all the fault of BROS actor Luke Macfarlane ;) ). A list of characteristics of Asexual people classifies me as GreyA. Since I seem to have 2 sexual orientations, I say I'm asexual (ninety nine percent) plus gay on social media rather than using the word GreyA, I'll probably have to explain what asexual is and how it is possible to have 2 sexual orientations in any case. I was just wondering how the rest of you classify yourselves (if you do) on social media (I thought it would be easier to use the well know words - especially Gay - when classifying myself)? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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