Rockblossom Posted September 8, 2020 Share Posted September 8, 2020 Welcome! It's traditional to give new people some cakes, so here's an antique one: 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted September 8, 2020 Share Posted September 8, 2020 @Antique, welcome and ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted September 8, 2020 Share Posted September 8, 2020 Welcome to AVEN I'll be 59 next month, so I'm catching up to you. I hope you enjoy the forum. I finally joined three years ago after identify as asexual back in 2005. I only figured out I was aromantic a couple of years ago. P.S.: I'll miss passing thru your state this fall during my annual trip to Maine. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted September 8, 2020 Share Posted September 8, 2020 @Antique, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Peke-a-Boo Posted September 23, 2020 Share Posted September 23, 2020 Hi folks! I wandered onto this site from a link in an article in The Atlantic. Wow! I didn't know there was a label for me! I didn't really need a label, but it is nice to know that there are others like me who are able to own what they experience. I grew up in an Italian family in the 1950s/60s so I guess a lot of people on this forum of oldies understand the challenges. I just did my thing, never got married, didn't care, didn't want kids, had a career, had lots of dogs, some cats, a couple of donkeys, etc. Now I'm retired. I don't spend a lot of time questioning my choices, but once in a while I do wonder why I am the way I am. I have 2 doctorates--veterinary medicine and neuroscience--so I know quite a bit of physiology, but behavior is much more complicated than our current understanding of physiology can explain, so I try not to get too bogged down in that. My family thinks that I'm a lesbian, which was issued as a kind of pejorative. I didn't bother to disabuse them of the notion, since I don't waste much energy on my family, but actually I like men. I like men a lot. I just could care less about having a sexual relationship. My libido is definitely related to sufficiency of estradiol, but my interest in having a sexual relationship is not. We are complicated creatures! It's interesting and hopeful that people are questioning more the kinds of relationships that are possible. I'm glad that young people are not as trapped by rigid social structures as people in my generation were. I moved to Europe a couple years ago when the hate in the USA got too much for me to tolerate, and I felt that I needed some perspective. However, I hadn't counted on the isolation imposed by a pandemic. I've been reading history and philosophy to try to understand the basis for all the concentrated weirdness that started in Europe and ended up in America. Catholicism and Christianity, actually religion in general, have had such toxic influences on our understanding and acceptance of nuances of sexuality and relationships, but in reading the history of western philosophy, it's clear that confusion about sexuality extends far back in history. From the perspective of someone who has hung around a lot of animals (the nonhuman kinds) for much of my life, I think it's important to not get too hung up on labels. Only humans seem to care about that. Other species are not burdened by the guilt and confusion over variations in sexual behaviors and relationships that humans seem to be. It would be interesting to have a discussion about why humans need to so precisely label themselves. It really, really does not matter! 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted September 23, 2020 Share Posted September 23, 2020 @Peke-a-Boo, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted September 23, 2020 Share Posted September 23, 2020 52 minutes ago, Skycaptain said: @Peke-a-Boo, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 X2 and more cake 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted September 23, 2020 Share Posted September 23, 2020 7 hours ago, Peke-a-Boo said: It would be interesting to have a discussion about why humans need to so precisely label themselves. My guess is part of it has to do with the fact that we are social creatures with language and complex cultures. In any case, welcome and ! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jay williams Posted September 23, 2020 Share Posted September 23, 2020 @Peke-a-Boo, Welcome aboard. I was very impressed by your introduction. I definitely welcome a serious discussion along the lines of thoughts expressed in your intro. Recently, in another thread, I mentioned a theory that humans seem obsessed with pigeon-holing ourselves into various categories. At the same time, humans seem obsessed with wanting our cultures to be as homogenous as possible. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
teatree Posted September 24, 2020 Share Posted September 24, 2020 @Antique, what part of VT are you in? I'm in southwestern NH.... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted November 4, 2020 Share Posted November 4, 2020 Well I turned 59 last month, so it's getting closer to me. I'm wondering how I'll react to the next birthday. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 On 7/11/2011 at 10:42 AM, Tabula Rasa said: I'm half your age (I'll be 30 next year), but I'm thrilled to see older asexuals here who can give their perspectives on sexual experience or lack of it. How's it feel to be old? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
felicia-cat Posted November 18, 2020 Share Posted November 18, 2020 I am 66, and turn 67 next month. I just joined this place. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted November 18, 2020 Share Posted November 18, 2020 31 minutes ago, felicia-cat said: I am 66, and turn 67 next month. I just joined this place. Welcome to AVEN! I'm 59 and have identified as asexual since I was 44. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jay williams Posted November 18, 2020 Share Posted November 18, 2020 1 hour ago, felicia-cat said: I am 66, and turn 67 next month. I just joined this place. Yay! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted November 19, 2020 Share Posted November 19, 2020 4 hours ago, felicia-cat said: I am 66, and turn 67 next month. I just joined this place. Welcome and ! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted November 19, 2020 Share Posted November 19, 2020 @felicia-cat welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CanMan Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 Hello from Alaska. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 58 minutes ago, CanMan said: Hello from GA I checked your profile and see you're from Atlanta. Been there a few times over the years as I have friends that used to live in Burford and now Suwanee. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
slywlf Posted December 31, 2020 Share Posted December 31, 2020 Hello from (usually) sunny Florida! New to this site, new to being fully aware of my identity as asexual at 66, mostly because there was no readily available information when I was growing up. Looking back all the signs were there from a very early age, but without relevant education I couldn't read the signposts 😕 Thankfully I am reasonably computer savvy, and I started getting hints even before my late husband (biggest mistake in a life of missed cues) passed, but with all the tumult of his last miserable years and the need to be both breadwinner and caregiver I had no energy to pursue these clues. Over the last year it took a combination of Tumblr, a bi-out coworker willing to talk to me and give me links, then a Facebook page and following links like a chain I was climbing to freedom to finally name myself: Aego with a side of Aro - unless there is a name for the Aego version of Aro that I haven't found???? As with sex, which I like in theory, and to read about but have no interest in for myself except occasional masturbation, I enjoy reading or watching romances, but have no interest in pursuing (or being pursued) personally. Anyway, it has been a long road to discovering myself, but the relief in learning I am not "broken" has been immense! To paraphrase the song from Fiddler on the Roof "It doesn't change a thing, but even so, after 66 years it's nice to know"😉 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted December 31, 2020 Share Posted December 31, 2020 @slywlf Welcome to AVEN I know what you mean about readily available info about asexuality. In the years since I identified as asexual back in '05 I haven't seen anything since then that the average person would find stumble onto. I sometimes wonder how my life would've gone or if I would have ever found out about asexuality. I was never questioning my lack of sexual interest, I just thought I wasn't putting much effort into it. I was 44 at the time and haven't had any second thoughts about identifying as asexual. Your use of relief is a good choice. A lot of us feel the same when we find out that there is a reason why we are like how are. I hope you enjoy the community here! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Let Them Beet Cake Posted December 31, 2020 Share Posted December 31, 2020 Slywlf welcome!🍰 Amazing isn't it that a few clicks on a keyboard can erase decades of ignorance! For me it was one click on an article about demisexuality, which I had never heard of but learned was on the asexual spectrum which, come to find out, is what I have been for 61 years. Not like I could've gone to the card catalog at the library to look it up back in 1974 although it sure would've been nice to know. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted December 31, 2020 Share Posted December 31, 2020 5 hours ago, slywlf said: Hello Welcome and ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted January 1, 2021 Share Posted January 1, 2021 3 hours ago, Let Them Beet Cake said: Slywlf welcome!🍰 Amazing isn't it that a few clicks on a keyboard can erase decades of ignorance! For me it was one click on an article about demisexuality, which I had never heard of but learned was on the asexual spectrum which, come to find out, is what I have been for 61 years. Not like I could've gone to the card catalog at the library to look it up back in 1974 although it sure would've been nice to know. ^ What they said! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted January 1, 2021 Share Posted January 1, 2021 @slywlf, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Riverman 3 Posted February 13, 2021 Share Posted February 13, 2021 Yep...65 I don't have a bucket list. I emptied it out on a Southern redhead. Life owes me nothing but I truly do favor trans women. Truly. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nick2 Posted February 13, 2021 Share Posted February 13, 2021 16 hours ago, Riverman 3 said: Yep...65 I don't have a bucket list. I emptied it out on a Southern redhead. Life owes me nothing but I truly do favor trans women. Truly. 69 and my problem is that I can't remember where I left my bucket. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted February 13, 2021 Share Posted February 13, 2021 1 hour ago, Nick2 said: 69 and my problem is that I can't remember where I left my bucket. I'm ten years behind you. How long have you identified as ace if you don't mind me asking? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nick2 Posted February 13, 2021 Share Posted February 13, 2021 1 hour ago, will123 said: I'm ten years behind you. How long have you identified as ace if you don't mind me asking? 14 yrs. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted February 13, 2021 Share Posted February 13, 2021 43 minutes ago, Nick2 said: 14 yrs. OK a couple of years after I found out about asexuality. It was then a very easy decision for me to identify as asexual. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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