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biromanticseniorgal

Any asexuals like me, over 60?

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jay williams
18 minutes ago, 4mini said:

Thank you all for welcoming me! That feels good! 

Is there a group where I could talk to someone(s) in person? I live in northern New Jersey if there's anyone near here.

I suggest that you should open up a little more if you are seeking friends. You reveal nothing about yourself in your profile.  A lot of people (although by no means all) in asexuality.org tell nothing about themselves. Is there a tendency among asexuals to be as private and non-descript as possible? When a person reveals nothing, the person leaves no incentive to anyone to want to get acquainted.

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4mini

You're right. I should say more about myself. I feel like I'm getting old all of a sudden. I have been doing photography for years (creative, abstract photography). I live alone but have 2 cats. I was married a long time ago, and had boyfriends since then, but was never really interested in sex. I thought it was just me...didn't know there were others who felt the same. I am female. 

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will123
8 hours ago, jay williams said:

I suggest that you should open up a little more if you are seeking friends. You reveal nothing about yourself in your profile.  A lot of people (although by no means all) in asexuality.org tell nothing about themselves. Is there a tendency among asexuals to be as private and non-descript as possible? When a person reveals nothing, the person leaves no incentive to anyone to want to get acquainted.

Put me in the group. I'd rather not publicize my life on my profile, but don't mind discussing what I'm up to on the threads.

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4mini

On the left, where it says my name & under it "newbie", how can I get tit to say more (like on the bottom left)?

 

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Skycaptain

@4mini, you can choose your own title after making 100 posts.

The instructions and listings are in the site info centre under post ranking (which I can't link to at the moment as my phone is having a hissy) 

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Rockblossom
2 hours ago, 4mini said:

On the left, where it says my name & under it "newbie", how can I get tit to say more (like on the bottom left)?

 

Go to the top of this page and look on the right side of the header for your user name.  To its right is a down arrow, where you can click "profile" to get to your profile page.  On the upper right there will be a pencil icon with the word "edit" which you can click to edit your profile, including the information that shows up on the left side of your posts.

 

And it is traditional around here to welcome newcomers with cake.  Here's a selection of mini cakes, guaranteed to be completely calorie free! 

How-to-bake-sheet-pan-mini-cakes-8.jpg

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pickles mcgee

Those mini cakes look amazing. 

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Green Mandala

I agree with pickles. Those mini cakes look delightful. Bite-size yummies!

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Nick2

Thought someone should stop in here and do the dusting before the end of the year.

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daveb

And don't forget to turn off the television, radio, and lights, when you lock up. :lol:

 

:cake: for anyone who passes through in these last few days of 2019! :D 

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Catpaws
On ‎11‎/‎10‎/‎2019 at 7:14 AM, jay williams said:

I suggest that you should open up a little more if you are seeking friends. You reveal nothing about yourself in your profile.  A lot of people (although by no means all) in asexuality.org tell nothing about themselves. Is there a tendency among asexuals to be as private and non-descript as possible? When a person reveals nothing, the person leaves no incentive to anyone to want to get acquainted.

I think this may also be (at least in some cases) a generational thing. For some of us who are older, and I'm on the youngish side around these parts, we were adults when the internet came to be. Especially in the beginning, everyone hammered home that you don't ever want to reveal too much about yourself on the internet. I think some of us still live by those habits - I know I'm intensely private online in part because that was how I engaged with the internet from the start.

 

These days, there's a generational shift toward the internet where people live their entire lives online, and there's so much interconnectivity that it probably does seem strange to not have your entire backstory posted up on every profile. But not all of us roll that way.

 

On the other hand, it could be that we do like our privacy because there's an asexual component. I think more than a few of us spent a lot of our lives learning to keep key aspects of ourselves under wraps and maybe that extends to internet presence as well.

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will123

@Catpaws Great points. For AVEN I created a different username than I normally use for my online use. As much as I'm comfortable discussing my personal life here with fellow aces, I don't want someone Googling the other name and having it turn up here (if that's possible).

 

I think the generational thing also applies to younger people questioning their identity much sooner than us older folks. I was 44 when I stumbled onto asexuality. This year there have been several people post here that they just found out about asexuality and they're in their 50s.

 

I agree with you about keeping our asexuality under wraps. Facing possible backlash isn't going to help our happiness if we randomly tell people. It took me 12 years to actually come out to a friend. The decisions to come out to other friends took a lot of reflection and thought on my part. Trust me if you think it's hard coming out to a friend, deciding who I should tell isn't easy either. Thankfully each time is a little bit easier.

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teatree
On 12/27/2019 at 12:07 PM, will123 said:

there have been several people post here that they just found out about asexuality and they're in their 50s.

 

I agree with you about keeping our asexuality under wraps. Facing possible backlash isn't going to help our happiness if we randomly tell people.

It's been a few years, but yes, I didn't discover asexuality until I was in my later 50s! Now it all makes sense, but before I didn't think there was anyone else who felt as I did. Also, I have told a few people (two sisters and a couple of friends) and no one was all that surprised...but still, I don't feel like everyone needs to know. I didn't talk about my sexuality when I thought I was heterosexual, so I'm not feeling the need to talk about my asexuality either. 

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will123
2 hours ago, teatree said:

It's been a few years, but yes, I didn't discover asexuality until I was in my later 50s! Now it all makes sense, but before I didn't think there was anyone else who felt as I did. Also, I have told a few people (two sisters and a couple of friends) and no one was all that surprised...but still, I don't feel like everyone needs to know. I didn't talk about my sexuality when I thought I was heterosexual, so I'm not feeling the need to talk about my asexuality either

X2 on everything plus this about the bold:

 

Other than the 'coming out' there isn't any need to mention it again. 

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4mini

I've never told anyone how I feel (or what I don't feel) because I always thought there was something wrong with me. Now I know (finally!) that there are others. Hopefully, I can find people in person who I could talk to. It's hard keeping this to myself. 

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will123
2 hours ago, 4mini said:

I've never told anyone how I feel (or what I don't feel) because I always thought there was something wrong with me. Now I know (finally!) that there are others. Hopefully, I can find people in person who I could talk to. It's hard keeping this to myself. 

It took me 12 years after figuring out that I was ace before I told a friend that I was asexual. I was afraid that he might react badly to me telling him that I wasn't straight. His reaction was fine, no issues. In the two and a half years since I've come out to six others.

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4mini

And what are you doing for New Year's Eve? me....nothing...it's just like any other night to me.

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Skycaptain

@PerryL, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂

 

@4mini, I just have my sister and her family over, maybe play Cards Against Humanity, have a small buffet and toast the New Year in 

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daveb
3 hours ago, PerryL said:

67 here... 

 

Perry

Welcome and :cake: !

 

2 hours ago, 4mini said:

And what are you doing for New Year's Eve? me....nothing...it's just like any other night to me.

Same. Not nothing though, just not anything different because of NYE. :) 

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Nick2

I will go to bed like I normally do and wake up sometime during the night, look at the clock (not Daveb's clock), and think to myself..."I made it to 2020".  Then back to sleep.

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Kencf0618033

I'm 60, my sensibility that of a Zoomer, and my birthday's coming up, so all in all I guess I qualify for this cohort.

Edited by Kencf0618033
Typo.
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Ivey

I am 63 and am pretty sure I am asexual.  I have had sex throughout my life but never really enjoyed it.  I was married and my poor husband did not understand why I wasn't more intimately connected with him.  Just heard about this site this morning.  I am now a widow and would like to meet a member of the opposite sex to enjoy my life with but would be petrified to tell someone I was asexual - especially if we are in the 1%.  I would be happy to join an "older" forum on this site.  By the way, I have never admitted this "label" and would never want to.

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daveb
4 hours ago, Kencf0618033 said:

I'm 60

Welcome and :cake: !

 

3 hours ago, Ivey said:

I am 63

Welcome and :cake: to you, too!

(nice cat pic!)

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will123

Less than two years to go. Is there an entrance exam?

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Rockblossom
12 minutes ago, will123 said:

Less than two years to go. Is there an entrance exam?

There is, but cheating is encouraged and you can chalk up any wrong answers to forgetfulness or fogged-up glasses.  Both are considered valid excuses.  

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Skycaptain

@Ivey, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 

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Kazbe
7 hours ago, Ivey said:

...would like to meet a member of the opposite sex to enjoy my life with but would be petrified to tell someone I was asexual - especially if we are in the 1%.

I hear you on that. I just gave up on the idea. It's already difficult enough to meet members of the opposite sex without admitting you don't want sex.

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will123
17 minutes ago, Kazbe said:

I hear you on that. I just gave up on the idea. It's already difficult enough to meet members of the opposite sex without admitting you don't want sex.

How true that is!

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Nick2
2 hours ago, will123 said:

Less than two years to go. Is there an entrance exam?

As soon as you are official you will need to start training for the attack and overthrow of the 50s.  We have been planning this for some time.  We had a big hat plan but had to shelve it...or is that hat rack it?  Anyhow, more info will be passed in secret code later.  Welcome.

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