daveb Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 On 3/5/2019 at 9:45 AM, Spotastic said: @AllThisTime My wife and I used to have an online business making geeky crafted items. I would knit and cross-stitch and she would knit, crochet, and embroider. Of course, crocheting a Crhulhu monster wearing a top hat and monocle is a bit different from socks (which we could also do). 😄 Cool stuff! I saw someone online who is doing a large cross-stitch map of Middle Earth and thought of the Hobbit map you guys did (although theirs looks like a kit or something). 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AllThisTime Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 2 hours ago, Spotastic said: crocheting a Crhulhu monster wearing a top hat and monocle @Spotastic You have inspired me. When I master this scarf, maybe that will be my next project! By then we'll also have an "Any asexuals like me, over 70?" thread. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spotastic Posted March 6, 2019 Share Posted March 6, 2019 @AllThisTime I think there was a 70's thread at some point, but there wasn't much interaction in it and it never got pinned. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted March 6, 2019 Share Posted March 6, 2019 Well between this thread and the over 50s it will have to be resurrected at some point!😊 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted March 6, 2019 Share Posted March 6, 2019 I started in the over 50 thread and that's still my mainstay (I'm still over 50). Of course, it also gets most of the traffic. (but this over 60 thread can be a nice change of pace - those kids in the over 50 thread can get unruly at times. ) Spoiler Oh no! Maybe I do belong here 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted March 6, 2019 Share Posted March 6, 2019 By the time we have an over-80s thread, it will be completely silent. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nick2 Posted March 6, 2019 Share Posted March 6, 2019 1 hour ago, Sally said: By the time we have an over-80s thread, it will be completely silent. Well, none of us will remember posting 5 minutes after we do it. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MysteryAuthor Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 Hi, DaveB suggested that I visit this thread as I am a bit older than most on the rest of the site. (I'm 62). As I said in my Welcome forum post, I'm an author. I currently write mysteries, but have also written scifi and fantasy in the past. I retired from my job as a library director at a u. in Dec. 2017 and have been writing full-time since. (I was writing part-time before). I have contracts with a mid-list publisher and they have already pubbed 3 books in my first series. I just turned in book 4 in that series to my editor and will be writing book 5 in the fall. In the meantime, I also have a contract with my pub. for another, new, mystery series and I'm working on book 1 of that. I have suspected that I was demisexual, or gray-A, for some time, but never really delved into what it meant until recently. My research has shown that it explains a lot about me, at least in terms of relationships. I am currently married, and have a grown child from a previous marriage. So from the outside, I look pretty "average older female," but I never have felt the way most of my female friends do about sexual matters. In fact, when I was young, I really thought there was something seriously wrong with me, and it added to my chronic depression. (I have learned to deal with that, via therapy, over the years). I was often told that I was too "cold" or "unfeeling," esp. in terms of romantic matters. Which is ironic, because I am really a passionate person who feels things deeply. But I never desired sex with anyone I didn't know well and didn't feel an emotional bond with, which was not something that happened that often for me. As someone who worked in the theatre for a while, I had LOTS of opportunities for casual sex, but I wasn't interested. I also met many very attractive men who made passes at me, but unless I knew them well and liked and respected them, I also wasn't interested. I actually kind of didn't understand other people and how they were "hot" over strangers or celebrities and so on. It just didn't compute for me. At first I thought it was because I was raised conservatively (when it comes to sex, not politics!) but then as I got older and moved past that upbringing, I realized that something else was at work. I just thought and felt differently than others. I'm not interested in porn or male strippers or any of that, and I dislike the beloved Romance trope of "alpha males" -- an intelligent, well-dressed, kind, charming male character is more likely to be my TV or film "crush." The affect on my relationships is that once a partner loses my respect or trust, or if they behave badly toward me or others, I am immediately turned off even if I have had a sexual relationship with them before. It's like I just can't be interested if the relationship loses that close bond. Which has definitely impacted my marriages. The other thing I saw another demisexual person reference online that struck me strongly was that all my fantasies are based in imaginary characters -- which is good for writing books, I guess, but apparently rather different than what most people experience. 😄 Anyway, that's enough for now. Glad to meet you all. 11 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rockblossom Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 On 3/6/2019 at 12:21 PM, Sally said: By the time we have an over-80s thread, it will be completely silent. Maybe not silent, but it will probably need to be bold and in large type. 👵 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nick2 Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 46 minutes ago, Rockblossom said: Maybe not silent, but it will probably need to be bold and in large type. 👵 Depends? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 2 hours ago, MysteryAuthor said: I'm an author. I currently write mysteries, but have also written scifi and fantasy in the past. I retired from my job as a library director at a u. in Dec. 2017 and have been writing full-time since. (I was writing part-time before). I have contracts with a mid-list publisher and they have already pubbed 3 books in my first series. I just turned in book 4 in that series to my editor and will be writing book 5 in the fall. In the meantime, I also have a contract with my pub. for another, new, mystery series and I'm working on book 1 of that. Welcome and more ! That all sounds pretty cool to me. And it's good that you are starting to figure out where you are in terms of sexuality/asexuality. Better late than never as they say. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AllThisTime Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 19 hours ago, MysteryAuthor said: So from the outside, I look pretty "average older female," but I never have felt the way @MysteryAuthor, welcome! I'm a fairly recent arrival to AVEN myself, and I think you will find it a safe haven. I relate to your experiences and came to my "ace embrace" late in life as well. It's a good place to be. 19 hours ago, MysteryAuthor said: I am really a passionate person who feels things deeply Being described as "cold" and "unfeeling" took me back to a scene seared in my memory: how could I be "frigid" when my heart was being torn from my chest? It is clear to me that I am still working through some of the things in my life that led me here, since I keep having these flashbacks. However, once I see the events through my ace lens, I can allow them to settle where they belong, and they are no longer a burden. I look forward to hearing more about your writing. PS I'm a retired librarian myself as well as a charter member of over-analyzers anonymous... 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spotastic Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 2 hours ago, AllThisTime said: Being described as "cold" and "unfeeling" took me back to a scene seared in my memory: how could I be "frigid" when my heart was being torn from my chest? It is clear to me that I am still working through some of the things in my life that led me here, since I keep having these flashbacks. However, once I see the events through my ace lens, I can allow them to settle where they belong, and they are no longer a burden. I can relate to that as an autistic person. It takes a lot for me to be visibly excited, and even then it seems that only my wife notices these changes a lot of times. My sister thinks I don't care about a lot of things that I do, but she doesn't take the time to pay attention to little things like that. Her untreated ADHD doesn't help there, either... 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MysteryAuthor Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 1 minute ago, Spotastic said: I can relate to that as an autistic person. It takes a lot for me to be visibly excited, and even then it seems that only my wife notices these changes a lot of times. My sister thinks I don't care about a lot of things that I do, but she doesn't take the time to pay attention to little things like that. Her untreated ADHD doesn't help there, either... My son is high-functioning autistic and I notice a lot of things about him that other people don't. They think he is more expressionless than he truly is. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lovesspyro91 Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 Hello I'm a 28 year old female and still never had a boyfriend or went on a date. I like talking with older people because they can be more wiser. I struggle at times thinking about my sexuality but I don't tell most people about it because I fear about being severely judged. It would be nice to be able to hang out with someone that is asexual or on the spectrum. Everyone have a nice day. 🍰🍰🍰 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nick2 Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 19 hours ago, Lovesspyro91 said: Hello I'm a 28 year old female and still never had a boyfriend or went on a date. I like talking with older people because they can be more wiser. I struggle at times thinking about my sexuality but I don't tell most people about it because I fear about being severely judged. It would be nice to be able to hang out with someone that is asexual or on the spectrum. Everyone have a nice day. 🍰🍰🍰 I feel like we (60s) should be in a cave at the top of some mountain since we are seen as wise. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rockblossom Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 2 hours ago, Nick2 said: I feel like we (60s) should be in a cave at the top of some mountain since we are seen as wise. I'm all for the cave. Not because I feel especially wise, but because I could wear comfortable clothes (loose robes and sandals, not business attire) and sit silently with short bursts of nonsense which would be interpreted as "deep and meaningful" by the acolytes; and be too remote for telemarketers and evangelicals preaching door-to-door. Young'uns like @Lovesspyro91 would be very welcome as long as they came bearing fresh croissants and Scotch (preferably the same age as they are.) And all of their questions would be answered with the AVEN-like mantra: "Yes, you may be right about xxxxx, but you will really have to decide that for yourself." as we nod wisely. 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jay williams Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 (edited) I don't know where he ranks on people's lists of greatest artists. For my money, Sam Cooke fits in the top 5 American artists. He wrote most, if not all, of his hit songs that he recorded. Go to Wikipedia or YouTube, and I bet you will be surprised at the variety of songs you either forgot about, or never realized they were his songs. He died in his early 30s in his prime too. 😞 "Allmusic biographer Bruce Eder wrote that Cooke was "the inventor of soul music", and possessed "an incredible natural singing voice and a smooth, effortless delivery that has never been surpassed".[7]" The following (1964?) song may be my favorite of a song written and performed by Cooke. The many-instrument arrangement is splendid as well. Edited March 17, 2019 by jay williams Oops, I got this in the wrong thread! Enjoy it anyway! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gentle Giant Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 I don’t think being in your 60s is old at all! (I’m in my early 50s) I had started to learn to crochet about a year or so ago, but it’s been hard to get back to it. I do admire folks who make neat stuff from knitting and crocheting. Sam Cooke was only in his early 30s when he died? That is so sad. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jay williams Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 2 hours ago, Gentle Giant said: I don’t think being in your 60s is old at all! (I’m in my early 50s) I had started to learn to crochet about a year or so ago, but it’s been hard to get back to it. I do admire folks who make neat stuff from knitting and crocheting. Sam Cooke was only in his early 30s when he died? That is so sad. Yep, Cooke was shot dead. It was controversial; but uncontroverted that Cooke had played a concert, got paid in cash, and got totally drunk. He picked up a (supposed) hooker, and took her to a motel. She took all his money, and deserted him in the motel room, drunk and penniless. He proceeded to go to the Motel manager's office, in a drunken rage. The manager said he angrily came after her. She had a gun and shot him dead, claiming self-defense. She was never charged with a crime. These posts about Sam Cooke were supposed to go in the 60s music link. See links referenced by Gentle Giant above, or see if my posting herel work. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AllThisTime Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 9 hours ago, jay williams said: Oops, I got this in the wrong thread! Enjoy it anyway! hahahaha you got me on that one @jay williams. Got the old rocker going though! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fellator54 Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 Left the building 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spotastic Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 @EuBJD Dwarves? 😀 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
VannieGirl Posted April 22, 2019 Share Posted April 22, 2019 Hi everyone, I am 72 and have decided life living alone is my destiny. Sometimes I get a bit lonely... then I think about living with someone and I quickly change my mind. I would like to meet others I can communicate with... 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted April 22, 2019 Share Posted April 22, 2019 @VannieGirl, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted April 22, 2019 Share Posted April 22, 2019 1 hour ago, VannieGirl said: Hi everyone Hi Welcome and ! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nick2 Posted April 22, 2019 Share Posted April 22, 2019 Dang, someone older than me. Now I will have to give up my "wise one" status. Oh, welcome !!!!!!!!!!!! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AllThisTime Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 @VannieGirl, welcome! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Abe8mag4b&d Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 Hi, I'm 69, it has been interesting to realize the long term situations so many have experienced. Feeling I was the only one all this time made me so isolated. Everyone kept referring to "older than 50", it's good to see others as old as myself finding AVEN & wishing we had this support way back when. I don't comment too often but find the threads to be very validating ,so, thank you. 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 32 minutes ago, Abe8mag4b&d said: Hi Welcome and ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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