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Do you like to be touched?


pancakeattack

Touching  

2 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you like to be touched?

    • yes, by anyone
      51
    • yes, but only by friends/family/partner
      343
    • yes, but only by a partner
      135
    • no, not at all
      200

This poll is closed to new votes


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I'm hetero-romantic, and I chose the only likes being touched by a partner option. The only other person I will hug is my mom. Otherwise, I don't enjoy hugging or touching anyone else unless they are my partner. I'm a very private person in general and don't like talking about or expressing much emotion either.

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I have never liked being touched,sometimes even by family members.I have to be in a certain frame of mind,relaxed if you like to be able to accept something other than a pat on the head,but that frame of mind has become more frequent.I haven't been touched by a partner yet,but when that day comes,because of my more openess to being touched,I will say that I am really looking forward to it.

Strangers,meeting people for the first time or people I haven't seen for a while have to be put on a(doesn't really exist)waiting list)until I can work them out. :P

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I am not a fan of touching. I would jump away like a ninja if my mom sneaked up on me and try to pat me on my head. I still shrink away and get annoyed.

I especially detest physical contact with another human while sleeping.

But I don't mind friendly touches... like a small hug or something.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I can tolerate being touched, but I prefer it if people didn't touch me.

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I'll hug friends, but that's because we live on different continents and only see each other every couple of years, so the greetings and farewells are big deals. Other than that, I don't like being touched except by my beloved. Since he lives in Spirit, it's more of a mental awareness of him having his arm around my shoulder, or feeling him squeezing my hand (that is an actual physical sensation of pressure). I love those touches, or hugs and cuddles, from him, and that would be just the same if he were on this physical plane.

But otherwise ... a peck on the cheek from family, meh, I'd rather not. I really dislike it when my mother touches me unawares, or does the tweaking-the-clothes-tag thing (I'm fifty years old fercryinoutaloud). And accidental touches on my torso - like someone sitting next to me on the train and bumping me with their arm - actually give me the creeps. It's like a real invasion of space, even though it's obviously not intentional.

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WhenSummersGone

I enjoy being touched by friends and by partners I'm with. I dislike being affectionate with family, it's too weird and uncomfortable.

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  • 3 weeks later...

For me, the addition of touch is what separates a "friend" relationship from a "partner" relationship. Being touched makes me somewhat uncomfortable, except in circumstances where I am romantically attracted to the person touching me.

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I like to being touched but only by family members or a partner, I think it's the most romantic thing to cuddle with a person you love ;) oh and I'm hetero romantic :wub:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Except for handshakes, I mostly don't like being touched by anyone & I'm aromantic. Whenever people touch me I tend to involuntarily wince. I think of it as an invasion of personal space.

same, without the handshakes...if there's no reason (e.g. paying for stuff in shops), then see no reason to do it!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I can't STAND being touched. Only by a partner could I tolerate it/not mind it. Even just brushing up against me makes my head go out of control. I just want to scream, but the fact that I don't want any attention drawn to me cancels it out so I don't do anything. If anything I'll just turn away slightly and say "nope nope nope" trying to come off as "funny" even though I'm not joking at all :P

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Most of the time I don't like to be touched at all, but it kind of depends on the person. I loved being touched by certain people.

The weird thing is that it almost seems random who can touch me and who can't. It's not about closeness or my relationship to the person. It's probably something subconscious that I can't put my finger on.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I loving giving hugs to my friends and family, but if I'm caught by surprise I freak out.

I also hate being touched on the neck or wrist. It makes me squirm.

If a random person touched me, then I would probably hit them on reflex. I don't mean it, but I was trained in a martial art (not seriously, though, just for fun) from the age of 5. :ph34r:

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I do, I do, I really really do. I think I have a permanent hug deficit, or just human contact deficit, from hardly being touched for the first 3 months of my life (I was born 3 months premature and lived in a plastic box in a hospital with lots of wires and monitors until I was big and healthy enough to go home).

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I love touching people! Well, more accurately, I love touching people I love. I mean, my favorite people, I can't get enough of them! I'm always hugging or touching or kissing (like, platonically...) or draping myself along them. I swear my mom and my sister are the only ones who can stand me. Everyone else is always like "I just hugged you 10 minutes ago, why are you back!?" :D

But, I voted the "touched by anyone" option (despite the fact that it's not, strictly speaking, true) for two reasons. First is because if I like someone (in any capacity, really) then I'd like being touched by them (this includes people I don't even know, by the way; essentially if I decide I like someone for any reason, I'm down for some mutual touching), which I felt wasn't really conveyed by the friends/family/partners option. If I dislike someone, being touched by them makes my skin crawl and if I have generally neutral feelings towards someone I feel like touching them is super awkward. The second reason I picked the "all" option was because after reading this one post, I've come to realize that are just some people that I (very randomly!) just want to touch regardless of who they are/whether I know them.

Whew! I'm so long-winded, but this is such an interesting post! It's something I've wondered about and it's great to see everyone's responses. :)

(Oh, also, I'm aromantic, go figure ^_^)

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I love touch, but I'm kind of particular about who I'll share it with. I don't mind bumping hands or whatever with strangers, but I won't hug anyone I don't feel comfortable with.

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I love cuddling, hugging, nuzzling, handholding, being leaned on, leaning on being, petting people's hair, nomming on people affectionately, playful light shoving, curling up next to someone in bed, laying on people, ect. So long as the person is someone I trust immensely. My friends. My people. My lover.

My family is another matter. I like to ruffle my brother's hair, I like to wrap my arms around those I'm close to protectively, I like reaching over and squeezing my mom's hand when she's upset. But I am much less physical with my family than my friends. It has a lot to do with emotional closeness and trust just how much I crave physical affection with someone and how often I express or really want any from specific people and my family tends to not be high on my list compared to my people. My family is not my people. I love them, don't get me wrong, but they do not understand nor try to understand me to the level I actually need. I'm not talking about silly teenage tantrums. I'm talking about being labeled as weird and strange and unproductive for enjoying fantasy and for doing my own personal research projects on animals and other cultures. When I finally got around to telling my family about my girlfriend, they reacted with revulsion and worry. My mother wants me to keep my options open because of social pressures and the judgement I'll face--I know she's worried about me, but I am offended by that. Especially when she seems unconvinced I understand the difference between platonic friendship and romantic desire. My grandparents freaked out for my soul, though promised they still loved me. And my sister called me a freak. This is without even being able to explain to them asexuality as an actual thing, as they take that with absolutely no seriousness and honestly, if you can't accept certain things, there are certain levels of closeness I don't want to reach with you. All my friends have all been very accepting of me, though I know they'd get onto me if I was hurting someone or doing something illegal, and for that I adore them and want to be as close to them as possible. I hope this kind of explains what I mean with the differences between my feelings for my people and my family.

As for strangers or acquaintances. I do not like for them to touch me. I don't mind touching them on my own terms--a hug, a pat on the back, a hand resting on their shoulder, being close to them. I don't mind it so long as I initiate and remain in control of it. I can't. Stand. People randomly touching me. It sets me on high alert, it makes me uncomfortable, some part of me feels ill. It's worse if it's a large male, but females that are larger than me can cause distress as well on a similar level. I'm not incredibly short so this isn't too bad, but I'm not tall, definitely not six feet, and there are plenty of larger people. It makes me feel threatened. Though any touch with strangers I don't initiate makes me feel threatened. I need to run away. I have attacked people who surprised me too much.

Even with several friends there are times I absolutely cannot stand if touch is initiated by someone other than myself. I trust them, I like being close to them, I like touching them, but if I'm surprised I am very uncomfortable. Family it's even moreso.

I do not like my hair being touched (even though I love touching other people's hair). I don't like gestures that resemble, to me, a romantic relationship (handholding is perfectly friendly and valid, but things like intimate caresses or any kind of kissing [though I'll kiss my brother on the top of the head or forehead]) make me BEYOND uncomfortable outside of my own romantic relation. I am not sexual. I do not express my romantic relationship by having sex. I do not even want to try making out or any of that nonsense--it repulses me--and little touches that I identify as romantic are for my partner. To try and treat me in that manner is equivalent to trying to make out with me or have sex with me as far as I'm concerned due to the level of intimacy it expresses, and I am not okay with this. There have been, maybe, two or three times, I've allowed a kiss on the cheek for a joke, but even then I was highly on edge. I have never had a problem otherwise, as my friends really aren't the type to try any of that. I am not at all comfortable with people touching me in ways that come off as sexually aggressive or in areas associated with sex, regardless of intent. I do not like ANYTHING near my crotch, near my butt, near my breasts. I don't care how close to you I am. Well. I can take someone's fake being near my breasts or some such, but I will not and have never had to tolerate them being grabbed or groped or fondled nor am I looking for any chance someone would do this. My butt is all around absolutely no zone, you can't smack it, I don't want you looking at it, you can't grope it, you can't pinch it, don't. Touch. My. Butt. And my crotch I'm relatively sure I don't have to explain. Most people understand that one.

Also, my ears. Someone joked around once that it was my 'zone' or something, but I think that's absolute nonsense. It causes me extreme physical pain for someone to touch them, even on accident. I have SCREAMED out in agony and shock when someone has accidentally smacked them when playfully slapping around. Lightly touching the tips kind of curiously (as they are slightly pointed and apparently this makes people want to touch them) has resulted in a jolt of pain that has me wincing and jerking my head back. I don't like it. It's perhaps why I don't like to be touched on the hair, on the head. It's too close.

Phew. Now that I've got all that down: I'm demiromantic asexual. I'm sexually repulsed.

I come from a background of very physically affectionate people, both my family and most of my friends growing up and now.

I am female. I have pretty much felt this way about touch my entire life, though I used to be an all-around more trusting person, and did not distinguish family and friends as much, nor was I as careful about who my friends were until later.

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I'm heteroromantic and voted for - no, not at all.

I can tolerate people I know touching me (even if I don't trust them) but strangers or recent acquaintances are a big no no. I can do handshakes when needed but will go to quite extraordinary lengths to avoid contact of any other type. If someone breaches the personal space a carry with me I will generally have a mild freakout. Somehow others recognize this and respect it.

There are two people I know who think that if they hug me every time they see me I will "get used to it", I find it unpleasant but tolerable. Now that I know about, and have identified as, asexual I will not be allowing that behaviour to continue.

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I am aromantic and I voted for friends/family/partner. However, I really don't like being touched unless it's by my family - and even then, I only like small hugs. I like my personal space and people who invade my little invisible bubble make me nervous or annoyed.

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I like giving hugs and poking friends. I like being touched as long as I know them.

And I'm Demiromantic.

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I voted for being touched only by friends/family/partner. I don't mind being touched as long as not sexually & suddenly. In fact I'm a very touchy person, I feel more comfortable holding hand of someone I know when I'm in a large group of strangers or when I'm taking a stroll

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I'm aromantic, and no, I don't like to be touched. That doesn't mean I don't desire it, though. I very much crave cuddles and physical affection, yet at the same time push it away.

It is a confusing thing. XD

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I dont like to touch people, unless i've gotten to know them. I have to be able to trust them, once i can do that then i find touching very comforting and enjoyable.

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ScarletExperiment

I'm panromantic, and I'm kind of weird with being touched. I have to trust someone a lot in order to feel comfortable with them touching me any longer than a quick hug, and that's a very short list, perhaps four people long; two friends, my partner, and my father. Not my mom, my grandma, or any aunts or uncles. I've been taken advantage of emotionally by people who were supposed to love me unconditionally, so I tend to keep them at bay physically. I'll hug my dad for longer periods, kiss him on the cheek and that sort of thing, which is way more than any of my other family gets without me being rigid and cold. With my friends, I'll sit next to them on the couch or even lay with them on a bed when watching TV or a movie. My partner gets a lot of affection from me though; hugs, kisses, cuddling, hand-holding.

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I'm not really sure if this is just a personal thing I need to grow past, but I'm actually very flinchy when others try and touch me. :( like it doesn't even have to be a bad touch, just a brush on my hand or something. I hug my family regularly enough but that's kind of sorta just a chore I've learned to live with, and isn't something I noticeably get a whole lot of comfort from.

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Faust Darkwell

It's complicated. I like physical contact, but I still shy away from touch. At most, I'm fine with a handshake at arm's length. Maybe a platonic hug too, but I usually have to have at least one drink in me first. Other than that, it's something that doesn't come naturally to me. If a person seems to be in need of comfort, I'll always ask him/her first if they'd like a hug instead of just hugging them. It's not really for the sake of permission, but it's more like...I know a hug is a small comfort, however how begrudgingly it may be, so I ask them to find out for sure if they need one. Then I'll hug them and think of England. :P

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Aromantic. Thought I was okay being cuddled by anyone (so long as they respected boundaries and didn't turn things sexual). Realizing now that I'm more selective about who I let touch me.

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I love being toched, also I really like to touch, but I can do it only if I really love that person... I like to hug, kiss and other stuff like foreplay with cloths on or naked but the sex is not what I want.

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  • 2 weeks later...

This poll is being locked and moved to the read only Census archive for it's respective year. As part of ongoing Census organization, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, the polls will last for one year from now on. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to re-start new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them.

Lady Girl, Moderator

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