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Have you ever been threatened with sexual assault because of your asexuality?


AtroposHeart

  

3 members have voted

  1. 1. Have you ever been threatened with sexual assault because of your asexuality?

    • Male-yes
      4
    • Male-No
      29
    • Female-yes
      20
    • Female-No
      89
    • Transgender-Yes
      4
    • Transgender-No
      8

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He made me his personal slave. I've never heard my name called so many times in my life. And even on a slow night, he would let the drivers stand around and do nothing, but demand that I be constantly on my feet. That place has never been as clean. ;) And when we were really busy, I'd be answering phones, waiting/bussing tables and dealing with customers for pick up, yet Jerk would still insist that I do what he wanted right when he wanted. Things like 'get me a water', 'get me a rag from the closet', and 'don't sit down'. When the customers were gone, he'd talk about how much he 'wanted' me.

Well, I got fired because I wouldn't give him what he wanted.

WHAT?! What an asshole. Why didn't you quit? The nerve of some people...

I didn't quit because I needed the money so bad. Things like food, water, and shelter are more important to me than my pride.

Just an extra detail: I am 5ft, the Jerk is, I would guess, around 6ft, maybe a little taller, and at least 40 pounds heavier than me. I felt pretty darn small. :angry:

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Okay reading these posts is really scary. Aren't those the exact same reasons rape happens? You want me. You just don't know it yet.

Exactly what I was thinking, and exactly what I thought on the occasions that I got the threats. If it turns out she really did want you all along, you get rewarded for your aggression and for ignoring the word "no." If it turns out she actually didn't want it, at least you got to punish her by making her suffer. How dare she not want your penis? What a bitch! She should know better than to parade herself in front of a man and make a guy think about it!

If-she-didnt-want-to-be-hit-on-why-did-she-leave-the-house.jpg

Our society is way too laissez-faire about this kind of behavior, regardless, if the person has raped anyone or not. What makes you think it's okay to say things like that to people? And some say feminism isn't necessary anymore. <_<

I absolutely agree. Some time back a guy actually said this to me (and wasn't kidding): "By what standard are women still 'oppressed' in the United States?"

A discussion ensued, including the usual elements such as "women keep seeing sexism everywhere because they're LOOKING for it" and "actually women have it better than men in this society because they get chivalry etc." and "if women make less money than men at all and that isn't just somebody with an agenda reporting it, it's only because women are naturally predisposed to pursue and enjoy careers that are less lucrative." I countered the guy's claims, most notably one about how women can't actually be oppressed because there are laws against institutional oppression against them, and I told him that would be like saying there's no racism anymore just because white people and black people can use the same water fountains now.

And he exploded. Turned out he was Hispanic, and because of this he could CERTAINLY see that RACISM was still around, and he gave me the whole "how dare you" treatment to scold me for daring to suggest that sexism is in ANY way on the level that racism is in this country. I thought it was pretty funny that it has to happen to him for him to see it, even though obviously all his arguments about feminism could be (erroneously) applied to his experience of racism too. But noooo.

'Course, then I also found out that his hobby is writing rape fantasy stories that focus on incredibly detailed descriptions of women being severely brutalized and gleefully reporting on their helplessness and how erotic that is. One story was about a woman being subjected to mind control to become a sex slave, because her crime was turning the protagonist down for a date. The story was all about how this is what "bad" women get. Gee.

I am 5ft, the Jerk is, I would guess, around 6ft, maybe a little taller, and at least 40 pounds heavier than me. I felt pretty darn small.

Little people in the house, I'm 4'11". :)

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'Course, then I also found out that his hobby is writing rape fantasy stories that focus on incredibly detailed descriptions of women being severely brutalized and gleefully reporting on their helplessness and how erotic that is. One story was about a woman being subjected to mind control to become a sex slave, because her crime was turning the protagonist down for a date. The story was all about how this is what "bad" women get. Gee.

That's so skeevy! It gives me a serious dose of ammo for my already rampant bias against men.

The worst part is men who act like this (or, hell, women can do it too) actually, honestly believe that they're doing the other person a 'favor'. The word 'no' has come to mean very little to them.

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This isn't entirely related, so feel free to ignore this.

I had read that Jane Austen was possibly asexual. I tend to agree. But it made me think, what kind of torture did "our people" go through back then? Especially if them not wanting sex ever came public. Society probably was too prude to carry it further, but in personal circles, the men and women were probably shuned or something. Witch doctor visits come to mind. To make this slightly more relevant, How prevelant was rape back then? Not between married couples, but "on the streets"? Were men that horrid (no offense to the men here) or did people actually think about their manners first?

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That's so skeevy! It gives me a serious dose of ammo for my already rampant bias against men. The worst part is men who act like this (or, hell, women can do it too) actually, honestly believe that they're doing the other person a 'favor'. The word 'no' has come to mean very little to them.

Yeah. But even if it's been a certain subset of men that's been contributing to your bias, I just hope you make sure to avoid holding their gender responsible for these horrible people's actions. I'm assuming you do since you sound reasonable. ^___^ In any case, pretty much as soon as a guy starts trying to sound learned and informed and often condescending while asking women to prove to him that sexism is even still happening, he's pretty much a living example of its existence. A person should ALWAYS be open to hearing about the experience of oppressed and underrepresented people, even if that person privately thinks the issue is exaggerated. If you haven't lived it, you absolutely need to listen to the people who have, and process what they say their experience is.

Also in my experience people who have a certain privilege will perceive inequality if attempts are made to enforce equality. (Arguments against leveling the playing field usually betray the person's perception that certain positions, opportunities, or privileges should belong to that person by default, so if it's made available to everyone, that person sees it as "being taken away." Sort of like bigots insist that gay marriage would decrease the sanctity of straight marriage somehow. It's only expanding rights, not taking any away from anyone, but still it's perceived as an attack on the people who already have it, making it less special or less reserved just for them, which in their minds is how it SHOULD be. Hence the rage.)

So yeah, as soon as a guy steps in trying to encourage the female to prove that there's sexism (and without definitive proof--according to standards HE sets of course--he is by default right) . . . I automatically doubt that guy's sincerity and ability to listen objectively.

I had read that Jane Austen was possibly asexual. I tend to agree. But it made me think, what kind of torture did "our people" go through back then? Especially if them not wanting sex ever came public. Society probably was too prude to carry it further, but in personal circles, the men and women were probably shuned or something.

It's possible she was asexual. As for the torture of being asexual in those days, actually before the sexual revolution I think it was more or less assumed that women weren't supposed to like sex. Many men assumed they didn't; women were much more likely to be seen as property and vehicles for childbirth, and while I'm sure intimate times in the bedroom often resulted in both parties enjoying themselves, if the woman didn't the man probably assumed it was nothing out of the ordinary. Asexual men probably had it a LOT worse, but in both cases they were just expected to do their duty and a Puritanical expectation of not really enjoying it was probably more the norm.

How prevelant was rape back then? Not between married couples, but "on the streets"? Were men that horrid (no offense to the men here) or did people actually think about their manners first?

Not sure. I'm pretty sure within marriage most laws didn't protect women from their husbands raping them; in many more religious societies she was just expected to submit, and if she didn't, SHE was in violation. I don't know about stranger rape. I doubt it was a lot less prevalent. I don't know what laws were in place to protect women.

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Not sure. I'm pretty sure within marriage most laws didn't protect women from their husbands raping them; in many more religious societies she was just expected to submit, and if she didn't, SHE was in violation. I don't know about stranger rape. I doubt it was a lot less prevalent. I don't know what laws were in place to protect women.

I have no doubt married women got raped a lot, just comes with the territory of being considered property, but I don't think there were written laws to protect women, just a few unwritten ones. Like manners. And a vague idea of repsect for others. Times like this I wish I had a time machine. :ph34r:

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It never came to rape, but I have been sexually assaulted because of being asexual

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No I have never been threatened .....just pitied *shrugs *

Though I have heard of some people within the LGBTQ who have said that aces need rape to get their acts together.

That is the sort of thing I have heard countless times over the years, and it appears to be getting worse, a lot of it is not meant, it is just their bitchy ways. I think it is a combination of the crap a lot of them have had in their lives and the sexually heavy atmosphere of the scene.

Sometimes, when you are out, if you are the only one who hasn't had toilet sex (both men and women)then you'd be the odd one out.

In Birmingham, there is a Gay pub called the Village, a group of us used to go up there most weekends. There was this gang of gay guys who used to hang around there, I could see there was a little hint of danger with one them, but surely I thought, he is not really that bad. But when I am out sometimes, I love everybody and so after seeing them for a few weeks, I thought I would go and say hi. Well, in those days, I used to hang around with a friend of mine, who, is in her words, 'ghetto.' Well, her big paws came over my head and dragged me back and she proceeded to give me a lecture on being streetwise, (she called it ramping) as she was from the same mean streets that they were from.

Anyway. about a year later we were talking about them, and she said they had recently been sentenced to stretches of 10 to 11 years in jail. I was shocked what she told me. At the back of Snow hill station, near The Subway night club, they had been picking off women and men to rape for years...!!!

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Sockstealingnome

Anyway. about a year later we were talking about them, and she said they had recently been sentenced to stretches of 10 to 11 years in jail. I was shocked what she told me. At the back of Snow hill station, near The Subway night club, they had been picking off women and men to rape for years...!!!

Good. It's about time someone caught them AND sentenced them. I know rapes are hard to prove but still, all you have to do is read a rape survivor's story to be filled with so much rage. And afterwards I just think 'where did we go wrong that this kind of act is still prevalent?'

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Not exactly, but I've been told that I will "go to waste". Like I'm some kind of product that needs to be used before it gets bad! How insulting.

I've received this comment myself too, saying it's such a waste if you don't engage in the practices held dear amongst the majority. I don't feel I'm being wasted though, because I'm not fond of those practices. Trying to follow up the logic of the comment, I can't say to whose hindrance my lack of sexual attraction or action would be contributed. Sexuals are free to practice their desires and they certainly don't need me for any of that.

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Sexuals are free to practice their desires and they certainly don't need me for any of that.

Well said! Unfortunately they will probably try to use the same argument against us doing as we will as some do against homosexuals wanting to do what they will; for whatever reason, they've decided it's "just wrong" for people to pursue happiness the way they want to, and strongly feel that we're all obligated to acknowledge their preferences as superior.

I still have no idea why they feel slighted when we say we'd rather abstain, but I've definitely seen it a hundred times--if we don't want to do it, we must be saying it isn't valuable or judging them for wanting/needing to do it. ::shrug::

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Sockstealingnome

I still have no idea why they feel slighted when we say we'd rather abstain, but I've definitely seen it a hundred times--if we don't want to do it, we must be saying it isn't valuable or judging them for wanting/needing to do it. ::shrug::

Well we are saying it isn't valuable in a sense. It's just not valuable to us and unfortunately, some people get very butthurt about that. It's the same thing where you say you don't like someone's favorite musician. You get some who shrug and don't care and you get others who will defend them to their very core. It really just depends how important it is to said person, and like it or not, sex is very important to the majority of the world.

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Well we are saying it isn't valuable in a sense. It's just not valuable to us and unfortunately, some people get very butthurt about that. It's the same thing where you say you don't like someone's favorite musician. You get some who shrug and don't care and you get others who will defend them to their very core. It really just depends how important it is to said person, and like it or not, sex is very important to the majority of the world.

I know, that's pretty much what I'm saying . . . just the mere fact that we find it easy--preferable, actually--to live without sex seems to really irritate some of these people. I'm pretty sure some of it is tied up in the popular perception of chastity being associated with purity, as well; if we say we're celibate, people assume we're claiming high moral ground along with it, and immediately react emotionally with "so you think you're better than me?" Well, no, not at all, we don't. But you're not better than us either, and there's no objective rightness when it comes to how people should conduct their sex lives.

And yes, the music analogy is a good one--same with favorite foods. I've seen people tell my friend who doesn't like chocolate that she isn't human, or suggest that if you don't like their favorite dish then you just haven't had it prepared the right way. It's interesting how many excuses people will make and how much we're supposed to be expected to humor them before the thought would enter their minds that it's actually legitimately possible to not like something this important to them.

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I still have no idea why they feel slighted when we say we'd rather abstain, but I've definitely seen it a hundred times--if we don't want to do it, we must be saying it isn't valuable or judging them for wanting/needing to do it. ::shrug::

You know, this made me think. We, as asexual, say we would rather not have sex, from personal preference/choice. But we're told we're doing something wrong, something's not right with us.

But a person who abstains from sex for some other reason, say religious, and they want to wait or not at all, I've noticed that they're commended for their self-control or keeping with their beliefs. At least, by most people. Some people can still be nasty about it, or those who abstain for religious reasons can still get an earful. But at least they're not called abnormal or people try to "fix/correct" them.

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We, as asexual, say we would rather not have sex, from personal preference/choice. But we're told we're doing something wrong, something's not right with us.

But a person who abstains from sex for some other reason, say religious, and they want to wait or not at all, I've noticed that they're commended for their self-control or keeping with their beliefs.

Oh, yes. The thing is, with a person who's "sacrificing" in order to earn their purity, it's at least understood that they're giving up something valuable and enjoyable for a higher purpose. Yes, they get their share of mocking too, but it's something people understand. Which is why we usually get lumped in with people who are choosing to abstain for moral purposes because some people honestly can't imagine any other situation. Imagining going through life as an adult person with no sexual attractions just doesn't compute for some of them, though, as they considering those urges an integral part of being human and don't seem to understand that that "given" is available to be challenged. We're not trying to make some kind of moral point by refusing to make sexuality part of our lives, but most of us ARE trying to make people understand that we have (and should have) the freedom to be as sexual as we want, even if that means not at all.

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Sockstealingnome

I also like to believe that they get lauded because they're able to resist the temptation, not just a whole purity thing. From what I hear, lots of sexuals have had "regretful sex" that they wish they could have avoided if it weren't for their need to fulfill a desire.

EDIT: Anything outside of "normal" is going to be viewed unfavorably, but with asexuality (and even bisexuality), we're so far out that some of majority opinion thinks it's okay to say it's wrong. Which quite frankly, is the least they can do. At least we aren't getting hunted down.

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I also like to believe that they get lauded because they're able to resist the temptation, not just a whole purity thing.

Yeah, that's true . . . sex is celebrated, but self-control is also celebrated. When you say you don't have that compulsion, though, most people seem to get alienated. They seem to think it means you can't connect with other people and don't have normal emotions.

Anything outside of "normal" is going to be viewed unfavorably, but with asexuality (and even bisexuality), we're so far out that some of majority opinion thinks it's okay to say it's wrong. Which quite frankly, is the least they can do. At least we aren't getting hunted down.

Well, except for the occasions in which asexuals are "hunted down" and raped in order to make them experience sexuality (which is sometimes because the rapist honestly believes the asexual will enjoy the experience and realize they were foolish to avoid sex, and sometimes because the rapist thinks the asexual values "purity" and wants to destroy it).

But not being subjected to physical violence doesn't mean it isn't violent in some ways. I do feel that psychological abuse can be very violent, and I once got an e-mail asking for advice from a female asexual who feels unsafe with her family because whenever she visits them they won't stop harassing her to get married, conspire to have men waiting at the house that they can introduce her to and push her to go on dates with, and engage in screaming sessions insisting that she date men or else she's proving she's secretly gay.

Even though most of us don't have extreme situations like this, we do have an experience of being consistently rejected and mocked and having our ability to determine our own feelings repeatedly called into question. Plus the society at large hammers home the message that sexuality is essential to adulthood and maturity and happiness and self-satisfaction, and that message is ubiquitous. Most people in those kinds of circumstances don't end up with good mental health. I'm grateful that I don't happen to be in a population that is severely at risk for physical abuse (any more than the usual experience of being a woman; I won't get gay bashed or trans bashed) . . . but "at least I'm not getting my ass kicked over my sexual orientation" isn't much of a comfort when the issues we DO face are considered.

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Ace of Swords

Genderqueer, yes. I have been pressured into sex more times than I can count. I have been threatened, pressured, told that they could 'fix me', had someone penetrate me anally for 4 hours just because he could... that time WAS rape. I just want to be left alone. No more sex please.

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Genderqueer, yes. I have been pressured into sex more times than I can count. I have been threatened, pressured, told that they could 'fix me', had someone penetrate me anally for 4 hours just because he could... that time WAS rape. I just want to be left alone. No more sex please.

:( Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry, dear. :cake: I guess I don't always remember how often rape happens because I don't know anyone personally who has been raped though I try to remain vigilant for my safety, though my partner seems to have a more lax view of vigilance than I do.

I agree that sex is everywhere and it's just because we have that luxury (ie. we no longer need to focus on just surviving) and because businesses recognize that sex sells to 99% of the population. I really wish it would stay behind closed doors because I'm sick of it. At least, sexual appeal, I would hate for an open discourse of sex to stay behind closed doors. That's what 'A Streetcar Named Desire' is all about, after all.

I have never been threatened with sexual assault because of my being asexual but I'm sure that it's bound to happen somewhere along the line. I have been the victim of passive aggressive needling, omission, outright rejection (and someone saying that he doesn't believe I'm asexual and that he 'turned' me sexual), and passive rejection as well as ignorance but not assault. I'm very lucky in that respect.

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I also like to believe that they get lauded because they're able to resist the temptation, not just a whole purity thing. From what I hear, lots of sexuals have had "regretful sex" that they wish they could have avoided if it weren't for their need to fulfill a desire.

EDIT: Anything outside of "normal" is going to be viewed unfavorably, but with asexuality (and even bisexuality), we're so far out that some of majority opinion thinks it's okay to say it's wrong. Which quite frankly, is the least they can do. At least we aren't getting hunted down.

It would be interesting to have a sexual's opinion on this concept of "regretful sex". What goes on in the mind when one decides to partake in physical intimacy by having a sexual encounter? Is the mind somewhat or wholly shut down, if later one finds the encounter regrettable? Does the fact that the encounter is regrettable not imply that sexual attraction takes over one's decision making progress, and compels the person to act in a certain manner even if it's against reason? To me it seems sexual attraction or desire or the combination of them commands the person when certain level of arousal is generated (desire) and linked to an external person (attraction). So many questions...

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Oh, yes. The thing is, with a person who's "sacrificing" in order to earn their purity, it's at least understood that they're giving up something valuable and enjoyable for a higher purpose. Yes, they get their share of mocking too, but it's something people understand. Which is why we usually get lumped in with people who are choosing to abstain for moral purposes because some people honestly can't imagine any other situation. Imagining going through life as an adult person with no sexual attractions just doesn't compute for some of them, though, as they considering those urges an integral part of being human and don't seem to understand that that "given" is available to be challenged. We're not trying to make some kind of moral point by refusing to make sexuality part of our lives, but most of us ARE trying to make people understand that we have (and should have) the freedom to be as sexual as we want, even if that means not at all.

True enough. I would even agree that for sexuals to sacrifice and give up something that's pleasing and enjoyable for them is commendable. Yet, we say that we give it up because we don't care for it, then it's "against human nature" (I've had someone tell me that). Most friends and people I tell about my ace status are very accepting, even if they don't really believe it.

A lot of people understand, but it's always the ones who don't that stick in our minds for giving us crap about it.

Yeah, that's true . . . sex is celebrated, but self-control is also celebrated. When you say you don't have that compulsion, though, most people seem to get alienated. They seem to think it means you can't connect with other people and don't have normal emotions.

I get that reaction a lot when I get around to telling people I'm asexual. Their first reaction is "so what, you don't like people?" or "what made you like that" as if it were the action of someone else to make me feel this way. I can try to explain it, but some people still read it as I don't communicate normally. And you know, I guess to them, I don't. Many people, most people, show their love and affection for another person through sex; I do so through body language and how I treat them. So I can understand for sexual people that how I show my affection is weird. But their first reaction to my asexuality is that I don't feel attraction.

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It would be interesting to have a sexual's opinion on this concept of "regretful sex". What goes on in the mind when one decides to partake in physical intimacy by having a sexual encounter? Is the mind somewhat or wholly shut down, if later one finds the encounter regrettable?

I had a guy confront me in a really crappy way on OKCupid once, yelling about how I had no proof that I was asexual if I basically hadn't slept with everyone on the planet in an endless quest to find something that would stimulate me. When I shut him down really soundly, he apologized and eventually admitted that he was probably responding so passionately to me being asexual because of what he experiences as far as disgust with himself after sex. The relevant quote from his mail:

"sex is really a waste of time when you let the hormones control your brain. It's a drug, in a sense, and an addiction. The hormones would be okay if they didn't cause so much strife. I feel disgusted with myself most of the time after I have sex, I just deny it to the fullest whenever I start to feel that way."

I think that sounds like what we're talking about here, and it doesn't sound healthy, but I guess it's an example of "regretful sex."

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I had a guy confront me in a really crappy way on OKCupid once, yelling about how I had no proof that I was asexual if I basically hadn't slept with everyone on the planet in an endless quest to find something that would stimulate me.

Yup, my worst encounter was through OKC... The worst message I just reported and the guy harassing me got deleted. So, win there. That was the encounter where he called me a "monster," "failure of a woman" and a "failure to the human race." All at once. Claimed that I must have been raped or abused or something terrible must have had to have happened to me to MAKE me asexual. It wasn't enough that I just felt this way because that's who I am.

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It would be interesting to have a sexual's opinion on this concept of "regretful sex". What goes on in the mind when one decides to partake in physical intimacy by having a sexual encounter? Is the mind somewhat or wholly shut down, if later one finds the encounter regrettable?

I had a guy confront me in a really crappy way on OKCupid once, yelling about how I had no proof that I was asexual if I basically hadn't slept with everyone on the planet in an endless quest to find something that would stimulate me. When I shut him down really soundly, he apologized and eventually admitted that he was probably responding so passionately to me being asexual because of what he experiences as far as disgust with himself after sex. The relevant quote from his mail:

"sex is really a waste of time when you let the hormones control your brain. It's a drug, in a sense, and an addiction. The hormones would be okay if they didn't cause so much strife. I feel disgusted with myself most of the time after I have sex, I just deny it to the fullest whenever I start to feel that way."

I think that sounds like what we're talking about here, and it doesn't sound healthy, but I guess it's an example of "regretful sex."

That's one example. However, I remember reading some sex therapists saying that there's an underlying problem if sex is experienced as a disgusting act (referring to sexuals). This would imply that for sexuals it's uncommon to feel disgusted after having sex, regardless if the act was later also found out to be regrettable. Afterall, it can be regrettable for varying reasons and not all of them need to be connected to post mortem disgust.

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Yet, we say that we give it up because we don't care for it, then it's "against human nature" (I've had someone tell me that). Most friends and people I tell about my ace status are very accepting, even if they don't really believe it.

Yeah, 'cause it's up to them to decide what human is. I get that all the time, along with "but you're not experiencing what BEING HUMAN is ABOUT." I just have to laugh. It's only rewarding and beautiful and cathartic and fulfilling if we want it and get it. All they can imagine in the realm of "not getting it" is "wanting it and not getting it," so they can't see that we're not in a perpetual state of longing. . . .

Yup, my worst encounter was through OKC... The worst message I just reported and the guy harassing me got deleted. So, win there. That was the encounter where he called me a "monster," "failure of a woman" and a "failure to the human race." All at once. Claimed that I must have been raped or abused or something terrible must have had to have happened to me to MAKE me asexual. It wasn't enough that I just felt this way because that's who I am.

Sounds like a guy I got on OKC once.

The conversation began with "asexual, are u fucking kidding?" followed by "u think ur pussy is made of gold?" Great start, huh?

You can read the whole conversation if you can stomach it.

Some other OKCupid conversations involving asexuality that failed:

Are you even human?

You can't just be asexual. There has to be more to the story.

Sex is a biological imperative. You like it or you're broken.

I know you're not interested, but surely you can make an exception for ME.

You're a challenge! How cute!

You CAN'T say you're asexual unless you've slept with X number of people.

You have a responsibility to have children. Want to join my harem?

I am not buying an asexual human. You are hiding something.

Think you're better than me? Lil miss smarty pants talk too much? Open your mind! Wink!

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Afterall, it can be regrettable for varying reasons and not all of them need to be connected to post mortem disgust.

I think you mean post coital disgust. :lol:

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I have had nearly all of those conversations condensed into two or three messages from one guy. Who I subsequently blocked and reported. Unfortunately, for your viewing pleasure, I deleted the messages because they upset me, so I didn't want to keep seeing them. Elsewise, I'd share.

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I have had nearly all of those conversations condensed into two or three messages from one guy. Who I subsequently blocked and reported. Unfortunately, for your viewing pleasure, I deleted the messages because they upset me, so I didn't want to keep seeing them. Elsewise, I'd share.

People are close minded in general. Btw it's not only women (or people in general) who are gay or asexual who get threatened with rape. Back home, a friend of mine who ran a rape support group told me she had a 17 year old customer who got raped for liking a chubby guy in class and for openly telling people she only like chubby guys (btw she was a modelesque above average looking girl). One day after class (or was it between classes when no one was around) she got grabbed and dragged by the hair to the toilets by the class 'athlete' who told:'I'm gonna teach you taste no matter what it takes'. Then minutes later before beating her and knocking her out he said: 'I hope I you've learnt to like straight men now'(I didn't know you body type decides your orientation :rolleyes:). The girl never reported the rape to the police (why do so many rapes go unreported, that always puzzled me). She said: 'It's my fault. I've should have kept my mouth shut about any non-mainstream tastes I may have'. This is none of the reasons why I hate conormity and expecatation. If it wasn't for the TV adverts and magazines showing sprinters as the only type worth lusting after (I think they are ugly too) this girl wouldn't have had to go through this. :(

I was lucky to never be thretened with anything, not even minor assaults and as an obvious 'distant gaze' aromantic wasn't even flirted with. However, I HAVE benn called lezo for finding thin men aesthetic (and this was by women) :wacko:

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Afterall, it can be regrettable for varying reasons and not all of them need to be connected to post mortem disgust.

I think you mean post coital disgust. :lol:

Pfft, semantics :S

Anyway, postmortem: following the event. Does not always refer to its primary definition of having to do with occurance after death.

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