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bard of aven

NY Times Coming Out Series: An Asexual's Story

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Sockstealingnome

It's a shame parents are still disowning their kids over sexual orientation.

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Miriel

I... don't see the asexuality story? That link goes to a gay one, for me.

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Zora

I really couldn't find an asexual story/

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Olivier

*oops, wrong thread*

link doesn't work for me either

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Pandoren

I swear that isn't the same story it was when I last clicked on it lol

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bard of aven

They are apparently changing the links as they add stories. currently at http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2011/05/23/us/20110523-coming-out.html?scp=2&sq=coming%20out&st=cse#story/user_story_154

The first time I heard the word "gay" was during sophomore year of high school. Several of my peers were verbally jabbing each other with slurs. My teacher talked them down, then explained that he identified as gay, so as long as they were in his classroom, they couldn't use language like that. As soon as I heard the word, things clicked into place.

I grew up in a very conservative, religious household, like many gay youth. I didn't dare say a word about being gay in fear that my parents would take action. In fact, I only mentioned it to one person, who ended up being my first girlfriend at age 15. Because our relationship was based solely on the fact that we were both gay, it didn't work out well. When we had our first argument, she ran off to begin letting everyone know I was gay. Like wildfire, the story got back to my father. Within a month, I joined the statistics of homeless gay youth.

After moving in with different family members, I finished high school and began college. College was where I really explored my identity, secure in the knowledge that I wouldn't be disowned again by these family members. My first day, I joined an LGBT group. Ironically, this group is where I began truly questioning my identity. First, my attraction to a male member of the group made me think I was bisexual. Being attracted to a gender non-conforming friend led me to believe I was pansexual, or attracted to people of all genders. At one point, I thought I may be gender queer because I identify as neither masculine or feminine. Within two years, I understood that I was an asexual, panromantic, cisgender woman.

Here's the amusing part: thinking that I was gay in high school nearly led me to commit suicide several times. Going through another dozen identity revisions in college didn't make me bat an eye. In college, I had friends with me every step of the way, willing to educate me and learn with me, accepting my identity and easily changing along with my fluid identity as I tried to explore myself. I continue to learn more about my identity with the support of my friends and coworkers from that LGBT group, and if there's one thing I can share with everyone, it's this: the more support you give the people around you, the easier it is. There's so much less at stake for a teen trying to figure out their identity when they know that, regardless of the outcome, they'll still be loved.

Christine B.

18 years old

Arizona

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