Jump to content

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

an1malclawz

sexual attraction without drive and arrousal

Recommended Posts

an1malclawz

Can you feel sexual attraction without a sex drive and sexual arrousal?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
dooomninja

well it's been agreed that there not connected so i don’t see why not ^_^

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Preskom

Yes, I do...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Pamcakes

Sexual arousal tends to result from sex drive and, often, sexual attraction playing off each other.

I believe a sex drive is required - however low or small - for sexual attraction to take place; in order to think, "I would like to have sex with that specific person," first you sort of need the, "I would like to have sex," part.

It's possible to be aroused with a low libido, purely from nerve stimulation. Libido level just governs how far out of your way you're willing to go to pursue and fulfil arousal. But zero libido? I'm not sure.

Sexual attraction is not a prerequisite for arousal, otherwise masturbation would be impossible for all but autosexuals. Where entering into a sexual relationship with someone else is concerned, however, being sexually attracted to them first certainly adds an extra dimension of enjoyment to the experience.

P.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
an1malclawz

Sexual arousal tends to result from sex drive and, often, sexual attraction playing off each other.

I believe a sex drive is required - however low or small - for sexual attraction to take place; in order to think, "I would like to have sex with that specific person," first you sort of need the, "I would like to have sex," part.

It's possible to be aroused with a low libido, purely from nerve stimulation. Libido level just governs how far out of your way you're willing to go to pursue and fulfil arousal. But zero libido? I'm not sure.

Sexual attraction is not a prerequisite for arousal, otherwise masturbation would be impossible for all but autosexuals. Where entering into a sexual relationship with someone else is concerned, however, being sexually attracted to them first certainly adds an extra dimension of enjoyment to the experience.

P.

interesting and can you have sexual attraction without feeling an urge? I mean like you can go out of no where and look at someone want sex with this specific person without feeling anything at all?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Observer

For some reason this made me think of food...like can you feel hungry without a physiological appetite?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
an1malclawz

For some reason this made me think of food...like can you feel hungry without a physiological appetite?

ya what I'm guessing out of this is, its not you that has to want sex with a certain person to feel sexual attraction but your body has to want sex with a certain person to feel sexual attraction. Is that right? cause anyone can not want sex no matter what sexuality they have

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Pamcakes

Sexual arousal tends to result from sex drive and, often, sexual attraction playing off each other.

I believe a sex drive is required - however low or small - for sexual attraction to take place; in order to think, "I would like to have sex with that specific person," first you sort of need the, "I would like to have sex," part.

It's possible to be aroused with a low libido, purely from nerve stimulation. Libido level just governs how far out of your way you're willing to go to pursue and fulfil arousal. But zero libido? I'm not sure.

Sexual attraction is not a prerequisite for arousal, otherwise masturbation would be impossible for all but autosexuals. Where entering into a sexual relationship with someone else is concerned, however, being sexually attracted to them first certainly adds an extra dimension of enjoyment to the experience.

P.

interesting and can you have sexual attraction without feeling an urge? I mean like you can go out of no where and look at someone want sex with this specific person without feeling anything at all?

Well, I can't speak for anyone else, but for me, being attracted to someone doesn't spontaneously cause me to become aroused. It's just more like a recognition, a pull towards them, and the awareness that if a sexual situation did develop, then I would find that very arousing in the hypothetical.

P.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MadeOfStars

Sexual arousal tends to result from sex drive and, often, sexual attraction playing off each other.

I believe a sex drive is required - however low or small - for sexual attraction to take place; in order to think, "I would like to have sex with that specific person," first you sort of need the, "I would like to have sex," part.

It's possible to be aroused with a low libido, purely from nerve stimulation. Libido level just governs how far out of your way you're willing to go to pursue and fulfil arousal. But zero libido? I'm not sure.

Sexual attraction is not a prerequisite for arousal, otherwise masturbation would be impossible for all but autosexuals. Where entering into a sexual relationship with someone else is concerned, however, being sexually attracted to them first certainly adds an extra dimension of enjoyment to the experience.

P.

interesting and can you have sexual attraction without feeling an urge? I mean like you can go out of no where and look at someone want sex with this specific person without feeling anything at all?

Well, I can't speak for anyone else, but for me, being attracted to someone doesn't spontaneously cause me to become aroused. It's just more like a recognition, a pull towards them, and the awareness that if a sexual situation did develop, then I would find that very arousing in the hypothetical.

P.

Do you also feel a "pull" toward certain people in a nonsexual way? If you are not aroused, what makes you "know" it's sexual and not some other kind of attraction?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sally

Animal, you seem to be making a number of threads asking the same questions. Why don't you try reading the AVEN Front Page? Many people have already answered your questions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
an1malclawz

Animal, you seem to be making a number of threads asking the same questions. Why don't you try reading the AVEN Front Page? Many people have already answered your questions.

lol sorry but sexual attraction is so confusing at times

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sally

Animal, you seem to be making a number of threads asking the same questions. Why don't you try reading the AVEN Front Page? Many people have already answered your questions.

lol sorry but sexual attraction is so confusing at times

Yes, you've said that in many different threads. But it really isn't.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
an1malclawz

Animal, you seem to be making a number of threads asking the same questions. Why don't you try reading the AVEN Front Page? Many people have already answered your questions.

lol sorry but sexual attraction is so confusing at times

Yes, you've said that in many different threads. But it really isn't.

alright I looked over the other posts and I apologize I'm making this more difficult then it actually is

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Pamcakes

Sexual arousal tends to result from sex drive and, often, sexual attraction playing off each other.

I believe a sex drive is required - however low or small - for sexual attraction to take place; in order to think, "I would like to have sex with that specific person," first you sort of need the, "I would like to have sex," part.

It's possible to be aroused with a low libido, purely from nerve stimulation. Libido level just governs how far out of your way you're willing to go to pursue and fulfil arousal. But zero libido? I'm not sure.

Sexual attraction is not a prerequisite for arousal, otherwise masturbation would be impossible for all but autosexuals. Where entering into a sexual relationship with someone else is concerned, however, being sexually attracted to them first certainly adds an extra dimension of enjoyment to the experience.

P.

interesting and can you have sexual attraction without feeling an urge? I mean like you can go out of no where and look at someone want sex with this specific person without feeling anything at all?

Well, I can't speak for anyone else, but for me, being attracted to someone doesn't spontaneously cause me to become aroused. It's just more like a recognition, a pull towards them, and the awareness that if a sexual situation did develop, then I would find that very arousing in the hypothetical.

P.

Do you also feel a "pull" toward certain people in a nonsexual way? If you are not aroused, what makes you "know" it's sexual and not some other kind of attraction?

In answer to Q1: Yes, I often feel platonic and romantic but non-sexual attraction. That's how I know who I want to be friends with.

In answer to Q2: Unfortunately, I know this is tremendously unhelpful, but I just do. It's difficult to articulate, but it really is as simple as that. Desire and arousal are not synonymous, nor are they mutually dependent. I can feel desire without automatically being physically aroused in that precise moment.

P.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PiF

ya what I'm guessing out of this is, its not you that has to want sex with a certain person to feel sexual attraction but your body has to want sex with a certain person to feel sexual attraction. Is that right? cause anyone can not want sex no matter what sexuality they have

A bit like you seeing an attractive girl and thinking ..yer she's nice ..but up pops ya wanger thinking..I'll have some of that type of contradiction?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
evanescence

Can you feel sexual attraction without a sex drive and sexual arrousal?

Not according to my definition of sexual attraction (which I got from another poster on this board): "arousal in response to another person." So, I'd say it's possible to experience arousal without attraction, but not attraction without arousal. If you experience sexual attraction as a purely mental phenomenon, without any physiological arousal to go with it, then in my books it's not really SEXUAL attraction.

JMHO E.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
evanescence

Yes, you've said that in many different threads. But it really isn't.

I, for one, agree with Animal that sexual attraction IS confusing, and I don't think he should be disparaged for feeling confused. "Wanting to have sex with someone" is not a suitable definition of sexual attraction, IMO, because the source of the wanting may or may not be sexual. If it IS sexual, then surely it's experienced in the body, not just the mind. How does your body let you know you're attracted, then? Which brings me back to the best definition of sexual attraction I've found on this board: arousal in response to another person.

E.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Loosed

Yes, you've said that in many different threads. But it really isn't.

I, for one, agree with Animal that sexual attraction IS confusing, and I don't think he should be disparaged for feeling confused. "Wanting to have sex with someone" is not a suitable definition, IMO, because the source of the wanting may or may not be sexual. If it IS sexual, then surely it's experienced in the body, not just the mind. How does your body let you know you're attracted, then? Which brings me back to the best definition of sexual attraction I've found on this board: arousal in response to another person.

E.

Then it's a good thing "wanting to have sex with someone" is NOT the definition. AVEN's definition is as follows:

Asexual: A person who does not experience sexual attraction.

That is far different in meaning and implication and IS an appropriate definition.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Preskom

ouch, I don't like were this is going...

Sexual arousal is NOT mandatory to sexual attraction.

An example so everyone can understand: The handicapped!

Yeah, going there... what if a sexual person suddenly becomes paralyzed from the waist down, or "disabled".

What about the man who experience erectile dysfunction?

And while not going to those extremes, you have your typical sexual, and let me tell you, if they experienced arousal every single time they where sexually attracted, it'd be very uncomfortable(

blue balls blue walls

). Not to mention socially uncomfortable for man to have boners in public places; going to the beach? no thanks!

Now "arousal" can come in 2 phases, the mental phase and the genital phase.

Now that I demonstrated that the genital phase is not mandatory for attraction, the mental phase is debatable.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Avistew

Can you feel sexual attraction without a sex drive and sexual arrousal?

Not according to my understanding of sexual attraction. You can experience attraction without a sex drive, but then it's not sexual attraction.

ouch, I don't like were this is going...

Sexual arousal is NOT mandatory to sexual attraction.

An example so everyone can understand: The handicapped!

Yeah, going there... what if a sexual person suddenly becomes paralyzed from the waist down, or "disabled".

What about the man who experience erectile dysfunction?

Actually, erectile dysfunction is characterized by the fact that it doesn't get up (edit: or stay up /edit) when you're aroused.

A penile erection is the hydraulic effect of blood entering and being retained in sponge-like bodies within the penis. The process is often initiated as a result of sexual arousal, when signals are transmitted from the brain to nerves in the penis. Erectile dysfunction is indicated when an erection is difficult to produce.

Arousal happens in the brain. If you're physically and mentally fine, it has physical consequences (erection for a male, wetness for a female). If you have physical and/or issues (can be as small as stress) you might not have the physical consequences of arousal, but you still have the arousal, and from what I understand, you still know you're aroused. Hence the frustration when the rest doesn't follow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MadeOfStars

Sexual arousal tends to result from sex drive and, often, sexual attraction playing off each other.

I believe a sex drive is required - however low or small - for sexual attraction to take place; in order to think, "I would like to have sex with that specific person," first you sort of need the, "I would like to have sex," part.

It's possible to be aroused with a low libido, purely from nerve stimulation. Libido level just governs how far out of your way you're willing to go to pursue and fulfil arousal. But zero libido? I'm not sure.

Sexual attraction is not a prerequisite for arousal, otherwise masturbation would be impossible for all but autosexuals. Where entering into a sexual relationship with someone else is concerned, however, being sexually attracted to them first certainly adds an extra dimension of enjoyment to the experience.

P.

interesting and can you have sexual attraction without feeling an urge? I mean like you can go out of no where and look at someone want sex with this specific person without feeling anything at all?

Well, I can't speak for anyone else, but for me, being attracted to someone doesn't spontaneously cause me to become aroused. It's just more like a recognition, a pull towards them, and the awareness that if a sexual situation did develop, then I would find that very arousing in the hypothetical.

P.

Do you also feel a "pull" toward certain people in a nonsexual way? If you are not aroused, what makes you "know" it's sexual and not some other kind of attraction?

In answer to Q1: Yes, I often feel platonic and romantic but non-sexual attraction. That's how I know who I want to be friends with.

In answer to Q2: Unfortunately, I know this is tremendously unhelpful, but I just do. It's difficult to articulate, but it really is as simple as that. Desire and arousal are not synonymous, nor are they mutually dependent. I can feel desire without automatically being physically aroused in that precise moment.

P.

Thanks for your response. I still am not really sure if I've felt it, but that helps some =)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
evanescence

XX

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
evanescence

Then it's a good thing "wanting to have sex with someone" is NOT the definition. AVEN's definition is as follows:

Asexual: A person who does not experience sexual attraction.

That is far different in meaning and implication and IS an appropriate definition.

That's AVEN's definition of ASEXUALITY, not of sexual attraction (which, as far as I know, remains officially undefined).

E.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
an1malclawz

Then it's a good thing "wanting to have sex with someone" is NOT the definition. AVEN's definition is as follows:

Asexual: A person who does not experience sexual attraction.

That is far different in meaning and implication and IS an appropriate definition.

That's AVEN's definition of ASEXUALITY, not of sexual attraction (which, as far as I know, remains officially undefined).

E.

ya I know I hear that sexual attraction is arrousal from a response to another person and I hear its a desire to have sex with another person? I don't know which it is? Do you see why I'm confused? lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Loosed

@Evanescence: I misunderstood and I apologize. My brain gets caught up on conversations from various points in/various other threads and I sometimes get "stuck on stupid," not seeing the forest for the trees. :blush:

ya I know I hear that sexual attraction is arrousal from a response to another person and I hear its a desire to have sex with another person? I don't know which it is? Do you see why I'm confused? lol

No. Sexual attraction is just that: attraction. Not arousal. Arousal is the response from stimuli. Sexual attraction is to be attracted, or drawn to, someone on a sexual level for the purpose of sex. For someone who's sexual, these are intrinsically linked, where if you are sexually attracted to someone, it is given that you will likely be aroused. But not so for an asexual who does not experience sexual attraction.

Aven's front page makes it very clear, and this is part of the reason I hit on Aven's definition of asexuality. It is not about arousal, it is about sexual attraction, which asexuals do not experience. We are not attracted to people on a sexual level, where we desire sex with them. That does not mean an asexual cannot respond to stimuli and feel arousal themselves (that's why you have some asexuals who masturbate), but the arousal itself is not confused with or tied to sexual desires/attraction for other people.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
an1malclawz

@Evanescence: I misunderstood and I apologize. My brain gets caught up on conversations from various points in/various other threads and I sometimes get "stuck on stupid," not seeing the forest for the trees. :blush:

ya I know I hear that sexual attraction is arrousal from a response to another person and I hear its a desire to have sex with another person? I don't know which it is? Do you see why I'm confused? lol

No. Sexual attraction is just that: attraction. Not arousal. Arousal is the response from stimuli. Sexual attraction is to be attracted, or drawn to, someone on a sexual level for the purpose of sex. For someone who's sexual, these are intrinsically linked, where if you are sexually attracted to someone, it is given that you will likely be aroused. But not so for an asexual who does not experience sexual attraction.

Aven's front page makes it very clear, and this is part of the reason I hit on Aven's definition of asexuality. It is not about arousal, it is about sexual attraction, which asexuals do not experience. We are not attracted to people on a sexual level, where we desire sex with them. That does not mean an asexual cannot respond to stimuli and feel arousal themselves (that's why you have some asexuals who masturbate), but the arousal itself is not confused with or tied to sexual desires/attraction for other people.

oh I see I understand so its like a force that you feel that pulls you into someone?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sally

oh I see I understand so its like a force that you feel that pulls you into someone?

I'm beginning to suspect something about all these questions on all these threads, Animal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Avistew
No. Sexual attraction is just that: attraction. Not arousal. Arousal is the response from stimuli. Sexual attraction is to be attracted, or drawn to, someone on a sexual level for the purpose of sex. For someone who's sexual, these are intrinsically linked, where if you are sexually attracted to someone, it is given that you will likely be aroused. But not so for an asexual who does not experience sexual attraction.

Aven's front page makes it very clear, and this is part of the reason I hit on Aven's definition of asexuality. It is not about arousal, it is about sexual attraction, which asexuals do not experience. We are not attracted to people on a sexual level, where we desire sex with them. That does not mean an asexual cannot respond to stimuli and feel arousal themselves (that's why you have some asexuals who masturbate), but the arousal itself is not confused with or tied to sexual desires/attraction for other people.

Well, nobody said that you need to feel sexual attraction to feel arousal, only the other way around. In other words, people who can't get aroused don't get sexually attracted to people, however you can experience arousal without being sexually attracted to anyone. Your post is really more answering the opposite question ("can you have arousal without sexual attraction") (the answer is yes) but it doesn't answer this thread's question, in my opinion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
an1malclawz

oh I see I understand so its like a force that you feel that pulls you into someone?

I'm beginning to suspect something about all these questions on all these threads, Animal.

what is that?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
evanescence

No. Sexual attraction is just that: attraction. Not arousal. Arousal is the response from stimuli. Sexual attraction is to be attracted, or drawn to, someone on a sexual level for the purpose of sex.

OK, then, how do you know you are attracted or drawn? Aren't there some bodily signals? If so, how do they differ (or not differ) from arousal? Until I hear a better definition, I'll go with a poster's definition of sexual attraction as "arousal in response to another person" because it makes the most sense to me on a sexual level.

E.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...