schwarzhaare Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Im in love with a guy he is an older male in his 60s and he has been asexual all his life. My question is do I bother to tell him I want physical intimacy with him and will he oblige or is it best to let him approach the subject Link to post Share on other sites
thylacine Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Some asexual people have sex to make other people happy. Myself, I don't bother. I'm the type of person who won't do anything I don't want to do, and that's all. So, I guess it's up to him to decide if he will, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Larien Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I've had sex (to make my partner happy), and I didn't mind it because I like the affection involved, but there are other aces who hate the idea and find it repulsive. It depends on the individual. If you plan on talking to him about it, it's a good idea to take care to broach the subject in such a manner that he doesn't feel like you're attacking him or anything. Just tell him how you feel and see how he responds - diplomatic communication is important. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Redbeard Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 We can have sex, but whether or not he will is a question none of us can answer. I did it twice, years ago, at the insistence of my girlfriend at the time. It felt good, but it was kinda boring and not something I wanted to seek out. Go ahead and ask, but do it in a "safe" environment, where he'll feel free to answer turthfully. Don't do something like pounce on him, make out for five minutes, then take off your clothes and shout "Do me!", because I can guarantee that won't work. Don't force him do to anything and be prepared for a "No". If you wait for him to ask, he probably never will. If he's in his 60's, though, there might be issues other than his willingness to take into consideration. Link to post Share on other sites
Silent_Silver Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 What Larien said. I myself engage in semi-regular sexual activity (because while I have no desire for it, I have no aversion to it either), as I understand that it's an important aspect of a romantic relationship to my (sexual) partner. Talk to him. Like with all things that bother you in a relationship it's best to talk about it. Just broach the subject carefully, explain that you're not demanding anything, you just want to know where he stands on physical intimacy, whether or not it's a possibility. Hope I've been of some help :) Good luck Oh and welcome to Aven Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Girl Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Seems like everyone is telling it just like it is...it's different in each case, certainly ask, and maybe discuss whether he does or does not want you to initiate at all. And yes, welcome to AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
AceAmber Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Yes, we can and some do. This is where it gets complicated. I'm a Sapio-Demiromantic/Demisexual asexual. In other words, I'm a person who has to have a strong emotional connection to date and/or feel sexually attracted to them. That's were demiromantic and demisexual comes in. Sapio means the person, or man in my case, has to have a high intellect and/or is very perspicacious. So yes, we can have sex, and some of us can feel sexual attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Girl Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 This thread hasn't been active for a long time and is now being locked. If anyone would like to discuss this topic further, feel free to start a new thread. Lady Ghoul, Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
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