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Homoromantic


ace_k

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I've come to the conclusion that I am homoromantic and asexual. For some reason I feel guilty whenever I think about telling someone about this. I feel like I would be lying and hiding my homosexuality even though I have never been sexually attracted to women or men. How could I make anyone understand that I want a girlfriend and that I'm not gay when it doesn't make sense to me either?

I am a really honest person, I almost never lie and cannot stand it when people don't believe me. Like when someone says a "your mom" joke and I say that she's dead, he/she tells me that I am lying. I wish I were.

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shiroishiryo

Wow, you sound almost exactly like me. I can't stand it when people never believe me either, despite always telling the truth. In my case, I guess it helped that I thought I was gay for a couple of years (no one could say that I was afraid of identifying as gay). For you... well, I don't know how you can convince your family. I can give you :cake: , though.

In terms of yourself, though, I suppose the best thing you can do is to be confident in yourself and who you are. Own your homo-romanticism. I know that at times, it can seem like you are floating somewhere between the spheres of asexuality and homosexuality, but remember that labels don't define you, you define them. What I've found helpful when explaining to people who find my situation hard to understand is to tell them that you're like a gay person, only minus the sex drive.

Hope this helps some, and good luck!

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AmusedByMusic

Can't stand when people don't believe me either...personally, I am homoromantic and asexual as well. But its something I don't tell many people about because its no one's business. I've only ever been in love with one person who was a girl/my best friend. We never tried to have sex, though to this day I wonder if we did would I have liked it? Therefore being demisexual? I'll never know but I do know that I wasn't wanting sex...I found it disrespectful if any thoughts like that occasionally popped in my head.

Anyways, I get ya. :cake:

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AndrewGyne

Can't stand when people don't believe me either...personally, I am homoromantic and asexual as well. But its something I don't tell many people about because its no one's business. I've only ever been in love with one person who was a girl/my best friend. We never tried to have sex, though to this day I wonder if we did would I have liked it? Therefore being demisexual? I'll never know but I do know that I wasn't wanting sex...I found it disrespectful if any thoughts like that occasionally popped in my head.

Anyways, I get ya. :cake:

A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction until s/he forms a strong emotional connection with someone.

Did you experience sexual attraction once you formed an emotional connection with your friend? If not ... you are not demisexual.

I self-identify as androromantic demisexual: I am predominantly attracted (emotionally but not initially sexually) to biological males.

If I were predominantly attracted (emotionally but not initially sexually) to biological females ... I would be gynoromantic demisexual.

You are demisexual only if you experience sexual attraction ... whether or not you 'like' or 'do not like' any particular sexual experience.

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Effanineffable

"How could I make anyone understand that I want a girlfriend and that I'm not gay when it doesn't make sense to me either?"

I think you've touched on something important there. It's hard to explain something you can hardly explain to yourself, isn't it? I know that when I talk about my own whatever, it's hardly consistent from person to person. And then what I decide to say at a certain time starts to inform my actual perception of self. Kinda sucks not to be the master of your identity, eh?

Perhaps in a couple days I won't even identify with what I've just typed.

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98slbrookes98

I identify as a homoromantic ace too and I too am frustrated when people don't believe me though thankfully that has lessened over the years. I also hate the factthat people assume at first I'm hetrosexual just because I'm a woman (if I can corect this asumption it's not too bad but if it's an "older generation friend or relative" I can't so I give the "I like being single" excuse) It's partly because of all this frustration that I gender bend in Second Life. Don't feel pressured to tell anyone or guilty about what you identify as. Just try not to worry to much about what other people think and attempt to lead a normal life like everyone else.

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