DemiDee Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Hi There is a section for 'older asexuals' here but nothing, as far as I can see, for those who are perhaps young enough to just be discovering the fact that they're asexual. As a result, it made me wonder if there was anyone here who might identify as a young asexual, say between 13-19? Link to post Share on other sites
dooomninja Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 hello *waves* i'm 17 i think the main reason we don't have a special area like the older lot do is in general there are more of us (here is the latest age census) Link to post Share on other sites
MatthewWilliams Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I'm 15, and I know that I'm not even close to the youngest on AVEN. We're here. Hi! :P Link to post Share on other sites
PiF Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I think it's felt the general membership of aven is in the sub 25 group..ie 13-25 that said there are no barriers to what you can and can't go into within the main forums Link to post Share on other sites
Lynterrzle Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Yeah, I think perhaps most of us are younger. I'm 19 myself, will be 20 in May. There's a pretty wide variety of ages here. Link to post Share on other sites
DemiDee Posted April 27, 2011 Author Share Posted April 27, 2011 All very encouraging! Well, for you younger asexuals, at least :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Tael Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Yup I'm 19 ^.^ kinda the end of the list but still hehehe I've kinda known since I was 17 but yeah I'm here now ^.^ Link to post Share on other sites
Måskemigselvetsted Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 And I'm here, too! **jumps up and down** Btw, I'm 17 :P Link to post Share on other sites
DemiDee Posted April 27, 2011 Author Share Posted April 27, 2011 I was just wondering if any of you lovely youngsters might like to contribute to a brochure I'm having printed for young people's centres which will speak of the benefits of sexual abstinence. It would be great to have at least one young asexual on board, and I'd be happy, of course, to send you a few leaflets once published. I would just need a good quality headshot (a bit like Tael's gorgeous pic above!) and a few words on what sexual abstinence means to you. I already have a number of people so would just need one more, and it would be great if that could be someone who's a fellow asexual. I'm from the UK, and the leaflets would be placed in young people's centres over here, but the profiles can be from anywhere in the world - that's the beauty of emails, I guess :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 18 and counting, I'm still in! I was just wondering if any of you lovely youngsters might like to contribute to a brochure I'm having printed for young people's centres which will speak of the benefits of sexual abstinence. I'm willing to help if needed. Anyway, I fear I must also admit that sexual activity has its pros (although I personally don't want to practice it), since it can provide protection from different kinds of cancer. Link to post Share on other sites
michaeld Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I was just wondering if any of you lovely youngsters might like to contribute to a brochure I'm having printed for young people's centres which will speak of the benefits of sexual abstinence. It would be great to have at least one young asexual on board, and I'd be happy, of course, to send you a few leaflets once published. I would just need a good quality headshot (a bit like Tael's gorgeous pic above!) and a few words on what sexual abstinence means to you. I already have a number of people so would just need one more, and it would be great if that could be someone who's a fellow asexual. I'm from the UK, and the leaflets would be placed in young people's centres over here, but the profiles can be from anywhere in the world - that's the beauty of emails, I guess :-) Can I just point out that asexuality has little connection with abstinence. Abstinence carries connotations of resisting your desires, exercising self-constraint by not having sex even when your body desires it. Asexuals are people who do not experience sexual attraction. Many asexuals do have sex. Even those who don't (such as myself) very often do not consider ourselves abstinent (or celibate) as we're not giving anything up. Link to post Share on other sites
DemiDee Posted April 27, 2011 Author Share Posted April 27, 2011 Many thanks for that clarification, Michael. I am asexual myself and so I understand and appreciate what you are saying. However, abstinence is actually abstaining from something, whether that be sex or beer, and indeed one can abstain from either whether is it seen as enjoyable or otherwise. You don't have to be giving something up in order to be abstinent, although I can see how modern definitions have led to murky waters surrounding the words used. I would be surprised to find that many asexuals have sex, at least, willingly and enjoyably. Link to post Share on other sites
Herr Joseph von Löthing Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 You might as well go out on the street and ask some random people if they can help. Most asexuals know less about abstinence than your common or garden sexual. Link to post Share on other sites
michaeld Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Thanks for your explanation, Dee. However I'm still a little skeptical about the relevance of this to the asexual community. See below. You might as well go out on the street and ask some random people if they can help. Most asexuals know less about abstinence than your common or garden sexual. Right, I agree. Especially as the leaflet is likely to be directed at people who are mostly sexual not asexual. It's like, imagine you were writing a leaflet that (for whatever reason) was designed to help those who love chocolate cut down on their chocolate intake. Would it be a good idea to get them to listen to people who have always hated chocolate and never touch the thing talk about how wonderful their chocolate-free life is? No I don't think so, because the chocolate lovers simply would not relate to the experience of the chocolate loather. It would be much more convincing for them to hear from someone who also used to love chocolate, but through self-control has managed to cut down on their intake, and still leads a happy, fulfilling life. Sorry to be so unhelpful, but personally I really think the asexual community may be the wrong place to recruit people for your project. Link to post Share on other sites
DemiDee Posted April 27, 2011 Author Share Posted April 27, 2011 I get what you are saying Michael. And a great analogy, by the way! I had just thought that it would be good to include someone from the asexual community since asexuality is often neglected and goes under the radar. The idea is not to preach about having less (or no) sexual activity, but rather to show young people that it's possible to live without choc..er, sex. But you are right - maybe this is not the right place. Thanks for your input, nonetheless. Link to post Share on other sites
NotAllHere Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I would be surprised to find that many asexuals have sex, at least, willingly and enjoyably. Just so you know, there are plenty of asexuals who have sex willingly. And enjoyably. Usually it's just not something they care much about, but they can still enjoy making their partners happy. It's usually seen as something of a compromise, but it's willing (if only because you love your partner) and often enjoyable (because we can still feel those sensations, or because we enjoy our partner's enjoyment) Granted, maybe you would be surprised by the amount- i must admit that I was. Link to post Share on other sites
Goldberry Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 If you want to be technical, I'm still in the 13-19 range...today. I'll be 20 tomorrow! :lol: But yes, discovering that asexuality is a legitimate preference and that there are plenty of people out there who go under that is a recent discovery of mine. And the fact that I really am different from other girls for not wanting to have sex...ever... I guess I used to be under the impression that I was normal because the popular notion is that men are the hypersexual ones and women just go along with it. :P Then I must have heard somewhere that sex takes getting used to for women and that it can hurt the first time around from not knowing what your body needs. But attitude wise, I just don't care about having sex with people. I've had so many thoughts in past months/years that I would rather never do it! And in the cases that I have, it never "got better." Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 DemiDee, would this brochure by any chance be religiously-based? Most pitches for abstinence are. If so, you should state that it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Happy Toast Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I grew up as an Evangelical Protestant, and the pro-abstinence stuff caused a fair bit of confusion for me. While I am very much opposed to trying to co-opt asexuality into a pro-abstinence agenda (and I think that the large majority of people in the asexual community feel similarly), like-it-or-not pro-abstinence education is something that will remain with us, and it might not be a bad thing if the existence of asexuality were acknowledged there. Here's an excerpt from a piece about my own experience that I wrote for for Asexual Perspectives: Am I the only one? I grew up in a conservative religious environment, and people might think that living in that context would be easy for asexuals. After all, don’t religious conservatives, constantly telling teens to save sex for marriage, simply assume that all adolescents are asexual?No, they don’t. Not even remotely. They assume that all adolescents are sexual, have sexual desires, and that’s why the need to resist temptation must be stressed. If they thought teens weren’t interested in sex, they wouldn’t aggressively admonish them not to have it. In the messages I received about sexuality, my asexuality put me in a peculiar position: I followed the rules easily enough but was functionally told that people like me don’t exist. Not having sex before marriage was easy; I didn’t even want to have sex within marriage. They said that sex is really great, so I figured that once I got married, I would do it and would learn to like it the same as everyone else, although I kind of hoped that when I started having sex, I didn’t have to be present. Still, the possibility that I might not like sex never crossed my mind. They also told us a lot—at least they told the guys—not to watch pornography and not to commit the sin of lust. Not watching porn was easy enough, but there was no acknowledgement that some guys might not even be interested. And the message about lust was clear: it’s something that all guys struggled with. If you were a guy who said it wasn’t an issue for you, you were lying. My problem was that when they told me not to commit the sin of lust, I couldn’t figure out what on earth they were talking about. Everyone else seemed to understand the concept; I wasn’t even sure if it was something I was capable of doing. Sometimes when looking at people, I was aware that sex existed, but I felt that when people talked about lust, they had something else in mind. I just couldn’t tell what. Link to post Share on other sites
michaeld Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I think mandrewliter has a very good point. I'd like to make it clear that my views above were only my personal opinions about this, and not an official Project Team statement or anything like that. It's definitely up to each individual to decide whether they want to get involved in this sort of thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Goldberry Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I think it's useful to get asexuality out there, if only so that young asexuals can understand what they're going through and what makes them different from others. And further, that their difference is perfectly fine as a preference. I guess the catch with lumping asexuality with abstinence is that others might get confused with the term and not understand the point that asexuals don't have the desire for sex in the first place. We're not just people who are trying to hold it down. An article on asexuality can do good here and there. I first heard the term in a newspaper article years ago when I read about the perspective of an asexual man, and I thought, "What a catch! I hope I could find a man like that." :P That should have been the first sign for me. :lol: So in conclusion, it's good to let the general public know that asexuals exist. Link to post Share on other sites
PiF Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I was just wondering if any of you lovely youngsters might like to contribute to a brochure I'm having printed for young people's centres which will speak of the benefits of sexual abstinence. can I ask is this for a religious group or direction?..edit...just saw sallys..great minds :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Cerise Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I was just wondering if any of you lovely youngsters might like to contribute to a brochure I'm having printed for young people's centres which will speak of the benefits of sexual abstinence. It would be great to have at least one young asexual on board, and I'd be happy, of course, to send you a few leaflets once published. I would just need a good quality headshot (a bit like Tael's gorgeous pic above!) and a few words on what sexual abstinence means to you. I already have a number of people so would just need one more, and it would be great if that could be someone who's a fellow asexual. I'm from the UK, and the leaflets would be placed in young people's centres over here, but the profiles can be from anywhere in the world - that's the beauty of emails, I guess :-) I'd rather you not tag Asexual with abstinence. Ever. It will do nothing but cause more confusion on the visibility front. As well as being dragged into the religious scene. no thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
SiloRose Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 Hello, I'm 16 turning 17 in december ^w^ Link to post Share on other sites
giantpapercranes Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 I make 18 in 3 months to the day (: Link to post Share on other sites
White-Hawk Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 Hello! I'm 15... So yeah... xDD Link to post Share on other sites
Symbiont Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 If you want to be technical, I'm still in the 13-19 range...today. I'll be 20 tomorrow! :lol: But yes, discovering that asexuality is a legitimate preference and that there are plenty of people out there who go under that is a recent discovery of mine. And the fact that I really am different from other girls for not wanting to have sex...ever... I guess I used to be under the impression that I was normal because the popular notion is that men are the hypersexual ones and women just go along with it. :P Then I must have heard somewhere that sex takes getting used to for women and that it can hurt the first time around from not knowing what your body needs. But attitude wise, I just don't care about having sex with people. I've had so many thoughts in past months/years that I would rather never do it! And in the cases that I have, it never "got better." Well, happy 20th. Looks like you're all grown up, left the relative safety of the "younger asexuals" group, and now may hang out with the "older asexuals". I guess congratulations are in order ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
PiF Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 If you want to be technical, I'm still in the 13-19 range...today. I'll be 20 tomorrow! :lol: But yes, discovering that asexuality is a legitimate preference and that there are plenty of people out there who go under that is a recent discovery of mine. And the fact that I really am different from other girls for not wanting to have sex...ever... I guess I used to be under the impression that I was normal because the popular notion is that men are the hypersexual ones and women just go along with it. :P Then I must have heard somewhere that sex takes getting used to for women and that it can hurt the first time around from not knowing what your body needs. But attitude wise, I just don't care about having sex with people. I've had so many thoughts in past months/years that I would rather never do it! And in the cases that I have, it never "got better." Well, happy 20th. Looks like you're all grown up, left the relative safety of the "younger asexuals" group, and now may hang out with the "older asexuals". I guess congratulations are in order ^^ :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: ..I wonder how they feel being called old at 20? :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
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