Monogamous or not?

[ZOMBIEFLUFFBALL]

I voted Monogamous because there is NO WAY I could ever share my partner even knowing that she is ACE and wouldn't want a sexual relationship with the other person I still couldn't do it. I get way to Jealous and way to hurt to deal with someone else coming in and messing everything up. As for me being with someone else while I was with my GF I could never ever do that, it would feel like cheating (even if I had permission) and besides I wouldn't want to be with anyone else anyways. So yup Monogamy all the way for me...

If someone else was able to be in a Poly relationship I say props to you and that I am amazed at your ability to handle jealousy!

[Marionetta]

Monogamy, because I'm a jealous and possessive bitch and I like it that way. The mere idea that someone else was touching or getting close to someone I love drives me up the wall. And let's face it, I'm kind of a bitch, if I allowed my partner to see someone else then they might decide they like the other person better and leave me. And because I'm jealous and possessive... well, it's not pretty as to what happens when i get like that.

That and I like it when a guy is just as equally jealous and possessive of me as I am over him. As far as I go I'd be lucky just to find one guy I liked, let alone love, so I seriously doubt some other guy is going to show up I'll have an interest in. Besides, I have one, what do I need another for? Damn, talk about an oncoming headache. As soon as I'm done with one of them the other is going to be wanting attention and I need my alone time, pfft, I can't handle all of that biz.

For me, it's the two of us and that's it, sharing has never been a strong suit of mine. It's like a special bond only we share and no one else is allowed to come near it, ever, because that would totally ruin and diminish the special aspect of it. But then again, you could argue I'm searching for a kindred spirit who is male than just a relationship - so it would make sense that we should have a special bond just between the two of us. And any invasion of that bond is a violation, because well, for the above reasons.

So, yeah, monogamy. Those are my reasons why. But mostly I'm just crazy jealous, I don't like people invading on what I consider my territory, or anything I've staked a claim on. Like things, people, actual territory, etc. In turn, I expect no less from my future partner.

[The Great WTF]

I'm very open to a poly relationship... provided my partner's chosen others are irritating little creepers like the guy he currently sleeps with from time to time. <_< Jealousy is a non-issue for me and, honestly, it irritates the living hell out of me when someone gets jealous over me. I don't think I'd be able to take being with someone who is that possessive and/or needy, so a poly relationship or none at all are probably my ideals.

[Member4445]

Mono. I couldn't be in a poly relationship, the idea makes me uncomfortable.

[Jockey]

I voted something different.

I am open to having a partner who has other partners. I am not open to personally having more than one partner. That just strikes me as way way way too exhausting.

[23DN4L]

I'm greedy with some things and that includes things I mark in the Mine section within my head. Once a person and i reach certain point I feel possessive of them and the time I have with them.Also, I don't think I could sustain multiple relationships equally or semi-fair. Only one would have my true devotion and anyone else would just be some sort of stand in.

[MadRat]

I´m naturally monogamous. I´ve never had more than one crush in the same time and I don´t get how some people can. I just don´t get how it works.

I can imagine nice romantic relationship with another asexual in my head but I can´t imagine it could really work irl. I don´t believe I could ever meet a guy who would be compatible with me because I´m totaly incompatible for 99,9% of people, and not only because of asexuality.

I prefer being single.

[Notte stellata]

I´m naturally monogamous. I´ve never had more than one crush in the same time and I don´t get how some people can. I just don´t get how it works.

I used to think this way myself too. But now I've realized having more than one crush in the same time =/= loving more than one person in the same time. Crush is just a specific short-lived phase, which some people don't even consider as "love". I've read that having more than one crush in the same time is quite rare for anyone, even polyamorists. And I can imagine it would be very consuming. But it's totally another matter to have the more peaceful, comfortable, friend-like kind of love (i.e. the kind of love that continues after crush or infatuation dies out) with multiple people at once. Of course it's still not for everyone, and it's okay if some people still don't get it. :)

[Guest]

I used to think this way myself too. But now I've realized having more than one crush in the same time =/= loving more than one person in the same time. Crush is just a specific short-lived phase, which some people don't even consider as "love". I've read that having more than one crush in the same time is quite rare for anyone, even polyamorists. And I can imagine it would be very consuming. But it's totally another matter to have the more peaceful, comfortable, friend-like kind of love (i.e. the kind of love that continues after crush or infatuation dies out) with multiple people at once. Of course it's still not for everyone, and it's okay if some people still don't get it. :)

Yeah, pretty much this. Actually, for me, one of the reasons to be poly is that it's a fine strategy to keep the number of crushes in my life smaller than one. :D

If there are already a good number of people I love, I'm at a lot less of a danger to develop romance/limerence for someone else, as wanting one person is a clear red flag for me because that's such an utterly romantic thing to feel. *shudders*

[byanyotherusername]

I chose "unpartnered" because I never have been partnered and like it just fine, but I'm open to pretty much all of the possibilities.

Advantages I see to monogamy: It would be difficult enough for me to find ONE person I want to enter into a relationship with, let alone more. Not to mention that most people want a monogamous relationship, so the person I find is most likely going to expect that. And there are less competing personalities/needs to have to accommodate. Then there is the desire of not having to explain/defend my lifestyle to friends/family/strangers...

Advantages I see to polyfidelity: I think it would be nice if the members of a previously existing committed group relationship wanted to invite me to be a part of it because they thought I had something to add to the existing dynamic/understood my needs and boundaries. I imagine it makes partnerships with sexuals easier if they can get sex elsewhere. I'm also an introvert who needs space and alone time, which would be easier on partners who had other partners. I think living with a polyfidelity "family" as it were, where I had my own valued niche role, could be really nice. Not to mention more people to do things with, more help with household chores, etc. I often think that I won't have children unless I'm in a set up with an extended support group, which I always thought of when I was younger as living with my monogamous partner and another monogamous couple, or older relatives, or single roommates, etc, but could potentially be equally satisfied by a committed polyamorous relationship. And I'm not *usually* a jealous or possessive person. Usually. (And to the extent that I am, I see it as something I hope to overcome in any relationship--romance, friendship, anything.)

Advantages I see to polyamory/open relationships: Roughly the same as above.

While the advantages to polyfidelity/polyamory is a much longer paragraph, I still view monogamy and non-monogamy as pretty much equal, though I won't feel I know for sure unless I try both.

[Jockey]

Crush is just a specific short-lived phase, which some people don't even consider as "love". I've read that having more than one crush in the same time is quite rare for anyone, even polyamorists.

All of my crushes have come in overlapping pairs. I haven't had one in, I dunno, four years. But for me it's like there's been times when people are just very interesting and a couple in particular are exceedingly interesting and captivating, and the rest of the time, when nobody is really all that interesting to me.

Mostly they will be of similar intensity to people I meet in roughly the same place, they start days to months apart, and the first one to start is also the first to end.

[BrainfullofUniverse]

I chose other, as I prefer to have only one partner, and can only see myself with one person at a time. But I'm not quite monogamous, given that I have no problem with a partner having other partners - sexual or romantic

[Tenebre]

Monogamy, although I am comfortable with the idea of polyamory and polyfidelity. I feel like I should be fine being in one of those relationships, especially I don't want much more from a relationship than I would want from a close friendship, but I know from experience that I get way over protective and jealous of just friends. Imagining dealing with that in relationships sounds like a nightmare.

[Philip027]

Mono

[Lost Girl]

I voted monogamy. I understand how people may prefer the other options but I don't think I could see myself in any other type of relationship that isn't monogamous.

[Ritchie333]

It has to be monogamous. However, probably like several other posters, I still need "just me" time, so if I can invent "demigamous" as a neologism, that'll be it.

[french queen]

I've been in love with the same person for thirty years (he is in Spirit so it's never been physical on this plane) and the thought of a relationship with anyone else is barf material for me. Monogamous never seems quite tight enough as a definition for me! :)

[WhenSummersGone]

Monogamy mostly. I get too jealous if my partner is with someone else.

[LimeTreeArbour]

I think it could be cool to possibly have two partners but it might become a complex dynamic. I imagine any situation like that rendering me more like the child of the house.

[Yukana]

I'm fine with the first two. Maybe even the third.

[earlymorningechoes]

Monogamous all the way. I get jealous enough when my closest friends have other close friends, I think I'd explode if I tried to force myself into a poly situation. It just doesn't jive with me at all.

[Lady Girl]

This poll is being locked and moved to the read only Census archive for it's respective year. As part of ongoing Census organization, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, the polls will last for one year from now on. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to re-start new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them.

Lady Girl, Moderator