Monogamous or not?

[nleseul]

Asking about preferred relationship style, since I've seen it come up on a few threads recently. I found a few old polls that sort of address the question, but none too directly.

If you don't currently have a partner, but would like to, please read the responses as referring to hypothetical partners.

[Not-You]

I chose monogamy, simply because I don't think I could handle the jealousy factor...even if everything was well outlined beforehand.

Edit: although I can see the appeal of some sort of poly situation.

[Asexy Existentialist]

I want someone who loves only me. But I still struggle with whether or not I actually want a relationship. I'm not sure I have the right emotional capacity, or even compatability. Depressing to think about. But hey, I'd rather have puppies than settle for someone with whom I wasn't happy.

[BaronTheCat]

I don't know.

I used to say I'm totally monogamous, because I have this "Disney love/Best Friend ideal"... but I'm not monogamous when it comes to crushes. I can have crushes on more than one person at the same time. And I honestly don't know if I really want a relationship. Yesterday when I thought about it, I asked myself: Why the Hell should I???

I'm not unhappy being single. But I could live with another person too.

[Member 35376]

I voted Polyamory—I am open to multiple partners, all of whom are free to pursue additional partners of their own.

From the posts so far there seem to be a general problem with jealousy - and not without valid reasons - it is a very difficult and quite unpredictable feeling. I so WISH that I had the adequate words to describe how I handle jealousy but I feel I don't have them.

[Guest]

I have no problem with polyamory or polyfidelity but I couldn't do it. I get too jealous.

And I do get crushes in relationships and I think sometimes my partner does too. I really don't see a problem with crushes in a monogamous as long as nobody acts on them. I just think that...well, it happens.

[Not-You]

Well, of course, I would be fine if I could have girlfriends. My wife can't have a BF though. :lol:

I might be comfortable with her having a girlfriend, though. I can't explain it.

Not that any of this is even in the realm of possibility for us...but it would help solve some "problems"...

[MadRat]

I want someone who loves only me. But I still struggle with whether or not I actually want a relationship. I'm not sure I have the right emotional capacity, or even compatability.

I feel the same at present. I need to sort out some problems (which have nothing to do with a/sexuality) at first.

In quite distant future I would maybe go to "hunt" an asexual boyfriend for monogamous relationship.

[Asexy Existentialist]

I want someone who loves only me. But I still struggle with whether or not I actually want a relationship. I'm not sure I have the right emotional capacity, or even compatability.

I feel the same at present. I need to sort out some problems (which have nothing to do with a/sexuality) at first.

In quite distant future I would maybe go to "hunt" an asexual boyfriend for monogamous relationship.

I feel like I judge every male on here based on their potential as a boyfriend. It makes me feel sad, desperate, and creepy. But... there are just so few. :(

[nleseul]

I feel like I judge every male on here based on their potential as a boyfriend. It makes me feel sad, desperate, and creepy. But... there are just so few. :(

I feel like I'm doing the same thing sometimes. :( At least it's not a huge thing on here, just because I'm rejecting the idea of online relationships out of hand now and there are very few people from Florida.

[MadRat]

I feel like I judge every male on here based on their potential as a boyfriend. It makes me feel sad, desperate, and creepy. But... there are just so few. :(

Quality is important, not quantity. ;) Don´t be sad.

Thanks gods for internet. You have at least a chance to find asexual partner with help of modern technology. But without internet... it would be mission impossible.

[Vampyremage]

I voted for something completely different mainly because I'm not really sure what I prefer anymore. Traditionally I've been in monogomous relationships and always thought I preferred them, although I was open to the prospect of something a little more outside the box. Recently I've been thinking alot about the merits of various sorts of poly reltionships, however. In my head they sound great and something that I'd like to try at some point, but I haven't really decided if I prefer them over traditional monogomy or not. Maybe I won't actually be able to decide until I actually experience one for myself.

[ily]

I think monogamy is probably the most realistic for me, given that I'd be lucky to find even one person that I wanted to be in a romantic relationship with. :P I would be open to other styles, but I know that I'm sensitive to feeling like a third wheel, so I'm not sure how well they'd work for me.

[Siggy]

Something completely different: I want at most one partner. But I don't mind if my partner pursues other people as long as I can trust that this will not hurt our own relationship.

[PiF]

depends at what stage of your life you are at the time..but for me generally why get into a partnership if you also want others

monogomy for me

If I want a partner it's because I want to be with them and them only..if not then I would stay single and be a non fuck buddy whore

[Astrobot]

Something completely different: I want at most one partner. But I don't mind if my partner pursues other people as long as I can trust that this will not hurt our own relationship.

This. I could have and love only one partner. I don't mind if my partner has also a relationship with someone else because jealousy is not really a big issue for me.

I'd prefer, though, my partner to be asexual or demi and love only me. :P

[Frigid Pink]

Monogamy.

I'm currently in a monogamous relationship. My past relationships were monogamous, too.

[Guest Invisible Pumpkin]

Who? me? dammm been polyamory would be great, but I haven't even been in a serious relationship, so... if I could keep one happy love it would be good enough. I am a faithful person who may wanting to be poly, because its better to have much love than a lack of it. What I find odd about me, its that I could handle a polyamory kind of relationship, but not a polyfidelity one.

I don't know.

I used to say I'm totally monogamous, because I have this "Disney love/Best Friend ideal"...

I totally understand that, I WAS in the same place, not any more...

[Moon Thief]

If I were to ever be in a relationship I'd like it to be monogamous. I can barely handle being with one person and have my emotions intact, having other people added to it would just not work.

[Rivan Vox]

I am the one and only person to vote for polyfidelity XD

I am currently in a monogamous relationship that used to be a poly one, but then i decided that I wanted to keep this one forever XD

I am so marrying xem as soon as we are old enough XD I suppose the reason I'm okay with monogamy is because xe is an agender ace, and thus awesome. Xer cuddles are the best.

(I usually go with two female bodied people.)

[EarthWarrior]

I voted for unpartnered, I prefer not to have relationships, but massively enjoy close friendships.

;)

[Sova]

Monogamy, because I would want someone who loves me and only me I am currently in a monogamous relationship and all my past relationships have been monogamous too. While I can see why people would go for a poly relationship, it just wouldn't work for me at all.

[lifegoeson]

I totally get the appeal of polyamory. I also know that I would struggle *massively* with it emotionally, so monogamy it is. :)

[AndrewGyne]

I voted for 'polyfidelity' but would much rather have been able to select 'conditional polyamory' or 'negotiable polyfidelity' as options ...

As of May 1st my partner and I will have been together for eighteen years. We were strictly monogamous until about one year ago.

We have again become monogamous (as of four months ago) as my metamour left us (once his visa expired) to return to his homeland.

Jealousy was never an issue between me and my partner: on the contrary ... our arrangement seemed entirely natural and organic.

I think the success of such relationships as these very much depends on how committed the individuals involved are to one another.

[snufflebottoms]

I picked polyamory even though I've never been in a poly relationship. I am open to the idea though (which is what the vote option says)

[Hayley]

I voted polyamory. I have been in that sort of relationship(s) in the past and greatly enjoyed how fluid it was, it fits me well.

That said I am currently in a committed monogamous relationship and very happy with him being my only partner, it feels right with him.

[EGD]

polyaffectionate.

I don't think I'm really that romantic-romantic is all.

[Member33070]

I voted monogamy, but if my Prince Charming turns out to be some guy who is very into sex, I would consider allowing him to find someone else and have a poly relationship going on, provided everyone knew about everyone else and everything was outlined really really well.

I can't help but think that I would get jealous/break up with him if the slightest bit went wrong, though.

I would prefer monogamy if possible.

Prefer monogamy all the way. I'm very okay with the idea of sex now.

But if he's into things I just can't get into...I don't know. If I wanted to try something that he wasn't into, that would be tough for me, I don't think I'd want to go try it with someone else though. I'd want him to give it a shot and I'd probably be understanding if he didn't like it and just give up on the concept or try to work out some compromise. So I don't think it would cause massive problems.

[Porygon]

I'm WAY too jealous not to be monogamous..

[Guest]

Monogamic.

I'm 100% faithful and witnessing (or knowing about) a betrayal would break my heart. I'd rather end my relationship.