Anyone afraid of being alone forever?

[Wozzeck]

I'm fairly non-sociable as it is. If I cared greatly about having friends/girlfriends, I'd make more of an effort.

I plan on keeping a few friends (maybe a girlfriend too, but with nothing sexual being involved) up until I start doing my PhD in music, when I will become a recluse :D

So no, it doesn't bother me.

Ever noticed how forever alone guy is smiling? I think he secretly doesn't care.

[{deleted}]

I never realized that I was different from everybody else and was surprised when I figured it out. However, even before I discovered that I'm in a minority and am not normal in a way I find difficult to comprehend sometimes, I was never scared of being alone forever. I was (and am still) quite looking forward to it.

[The Warden]

I'm not so much scared of not having a relationship then I am for being alone.

I'm aromantic so it is hard for me because I'm apparently missing out on something very important which many people need. I haven't had that connection with anyone so I feel so disconnected from the rest of society.

And I feel so disconnected that I feel like I won't have friends.

That makes me worried and upset because friends mean the world to me and I'm a very affectionate person to begin with. I just been left in the dust several times by people who I thought were friends but left me for their boyfriends/girlfriends and I can just see myself being abandoned in the future as my friends start families and have little time for me.

Then I will feel like I'm drifting between my friends and being a burden ...

I THINK TOO MUCH.

'nuff said.

[Beta]

I could care less, actually I would prefer to live alone. I couldn't see me sharing my space with another person.

[Snow Girl]

Yes, I am a bit afraid. I'm a very romantic person at my core.

Here's how my chances become ever more limited:

99% of people want sex, and I never do. So...in a room of 100 people, only 1 has a chance.

I would be happier if they wanted the same romantic things that I do. (kissing, i.e. A lot of aces don't want the kissing)

I'd like to end up with someone who shares my faith. Chances grow slimmer still.

I'd like to end up with someone who shares my views on the things most important to my soul. Another one bites the dust.

Sure, I could lower my standards...but would I be happy in a relationship with whoever I found? Maybe, but maybe these things I mentioned would come up later...and dang it, it sure is hard when I realize things aren't going to work out after so long.

This isn't to say that fate doesn't have a way of bringing unlikely people together. It certainly can.

I completely agree. I am also looking for someone who meets these standards, and I have also realized that the chances are miniscule :(

[Tace]

When I realized I was asexual I was terrified I'd be alone, but in the 6 months since I first made the connection between what I felt and what asexuality was I've become more accepting of it all. This is who I am. Cy O'Neill, who runs a charity called Friends in Deed in New York City, put it in an interesting way: "It's all okay. There is nothing really ever wrong. Everything in life is exactly the way that it should be, very simply because that's the way that it is. There is no other way that it can be"

[Harkins]

I remember having those some kind of fears in high school when I just had a hunch that I might be asexual. I don't mean to be one of those people who goes off on some tangent like "I blame the media...", blah blah blah, but there are times when I do. There is such an emphasis put on the importance of romantic and sexual relationships, that it's almost impossible not to feel alone when this is all you see. I think more emphasis should be put on how important really good friends can be.

There are times when I'm still envious of the companionship I don't have, but I'm barely just 22 myself, I'm sure I'm going to meet someone someday. Even if that never happens, I have an amazing group of friends who I can see myself having my whole life and these are the people I want around when good things happen, bad things happen, and everything in-between.

I might be alone, per se, but I've definitely realized I'm the furthest thing from lonely.

[deactivated223434]

Well, I used to be scared of being alone ^^ but then i realized that i'm never alone. :D i'll always have my friends and family by my side :))

So yeah ^^

[Blunderbuss]

Ok, so I am sixteen. I haven't had a realtionship yet, not even a small small tiny tiny boyfriend thing.

I have never kissed somebody. And I do not miss it at all. I am almost positive that nobody of my friends

or classmates knows about asexuality. I have only told one friend yet without using the sentence "I'm

asexual" I only talked about my feelings and she said she would tie me to a chair and put me in front of

a couple fucking around (sorry for that) and make me look at it. Which I find quite cruel. Actually.

I haven't met anybody else who is ace either.

There was a guy everybody thought I would be going to marry, just because we had similar interests but about

two weeks ago he said "Sex is all natural. It is a human desire that has to be fulfilled." Wow, you're smart,

man. Apart from that I never felt anything for him. But who cares.

I highly doubt that I will ever ever ever find an asexual guy who loves me and has similar interests and values.

It seems impossible.

I can really understand your feelings and fears, love. It's awful in a way.

[MadRat]

I have only told one friend yet without using the sentence "I'm

asexual" I only talked about my feelings and she said she would tie me to a chair and put me in front of

a couple fucking around (sorry for that) and make me look at it. Which I find quite cruel.

OMG, it is so disrespectful to talk like this, even if it was meant only as a joke. It´s not funny. :(

[Gela]

Hi! I am completely new to this site and I read your topic so I had to reply. I always feel this way and I am almost 23 years old. Only one of my friends actually knows that I am asexual. haven't really come out to everyone else yet. But I do feel this way a lot. Because I have no interest in sex, but I wouldn't mind having a boyfriend. I see my friends and their boyfriends and it looks nice, but then I think of how hard it probably is to find a guy that isn't into sex around where I live. I also have never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone. So just know that you are not alone in these feelings. I don't think that people that aren't asexual understand how hard it is. I try to ignore it, even though it's hard. I am glad this site exists because I don't feel quite as alone knowing there are others that feel the same way. I do have friends, but even around them when they are cuddled up together or kissing, I feeling alone in a group of people. So I feel for you and *hugs*

[Blunderbuss]

I have only told one friend yet without using the sentence "I'm

asexual" I only talked about my feelings and she said she would tie me to a chair and put me in front of

a couple fucking around (sorry for that) and make me look at it. Which I find quite cruel.

OMG, it is so disrespectful to talk like this, even if it was meant only as a joke. It´s not funny. :(

Yes, I imagined having to do that and it was just horrible even thinking of it. It has kinda been haunting me for two over two weeks now :/

Well, she is obviously very sexual and of course she doesn't seem to understand my point. She also thinks it is only a phase or because I've

never had sex before. She doesn't even know that asexuality exists. It's hard :3

But thank you for understanding! :)

[MarkA]

Alone as in not finding a life parter? At this moment, very much.

It's really strange, last week I was 100% ok with it. I didn't know about asexuality yet and just thought noone would be compatible. So be it, I had accepted it. Then last thursday I find this site and suddenly realise "Wow there are other people like me". And I read about them having happy relationships which means there might be someone for me. And suddenly, boom, I'm extremely anxious about it. I hope it will pass.

As for other people around me, that's ok, I have my friends and family and colleagues so always someone to talk to :)

[kimbo21]

Hey,

when i first read your post i could really relate to what you said. i never realised why im an outgoing, social and fun person yet have never had a boyfriend (21 soon to be 22) and have no interest in sex whatsoever. i agree with what you said about how we can't control being asexual and we are almost forced to be alone because of something which is not our choice, but the fact that it is not our choice means we shouldn't feel bad about it :D don't worry about it until/ if you do meet someone you want to pursue a relationship with. sometimes i get down about being constantly single, but then im grateful that i can focus on other things and enjoy spending time with my friends. if your a good person to others good things will come back to you :) i think i like the idea of being in a relationship more than the reality of it. try not to be too down on yourself because feeling bad about something you was born as won't solve anything!

good luck and be happy :D

[glitchunter]

I love the idea of being alone all my life. I think having a life partner would subtract from my happiness, not add to it.

[Kirin]

Honestly, the thought of growing old alone scares me. What happens when I get sick, can't take care of myself, stuff like that. There are just things you can't expect from friends, not matter how close.

I guess I have plenty of time to figure something out though!