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For 30-somethings and those around that age

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TheEvaTree

And there's no-one else to blame if you have screws left over at the end (or run short before you've finished) :lol:

Exactly! :lol:

However, if the bookcase is slightly askew, there's also no one around to complain about my handiwork day after day, so I think that's a fair trade.

Complains about bad assembly of plywood pieces that very often are askew before the assembly challenge begins, is not a fair trade IMO.

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Tanwen

But you also get the bed (and covers) to yourself :D

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Redbeard

But you also get the bed (and covers) to yourself :D

Very true, and very important when you're my height and have legs that take up half the bed.

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TheEvaTree

But you also get the bed (and covers) to yourself :D

Hahaha :lol: , yeah...I always get the bed and covers to myself !...We didn't sleep in the same bed because I always steal most of the covers during sleep(can't help it, I don't notice), and (apparantly) have a tendency to hit out or kick anything within reach during vivid dreaming ...So I could choose between couch or bed - I won the bed last time I had a BF ^_^ 8)

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TheEvaTree

But you also get the bed (and covers) to yourself :D

Very true, and very important when you're my height and have legs that take up half the bed.

Ok, you win :)

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Voyager6

In regards to another part of the thread, sometimes I get jealous of my friends. Not because they're married and have kids and not because I secretly crave a "normal" sex life like they have. None of that. I get jealous of my friends because they have someone that can help them pick up furniture at Ikea. You ever tried loading a cartful of Billy bookcases into the back of a Prius all by yourself? It ain't easy!

Welcome to the community! I don't make the best "welcomer" since I'm also new, but I'm glad to see that other people are out there and are also joining us.

When I moved into my apartment, my mother hinted how much easier moving in would be if I had a boyfriend. I understand her POV since my father is well into his 60s and still insisted on helping my brother up the stairs with my couch (which I didn't want one in the first place, but my parents were getting rid of theirs). Still, he did have a bigger car.

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Voyager6

Personally, what helps me the best is my perception of my reality, of life in me. My love of selfdevelopment and exploring new things, or new ways of creating wonder in my life. My love of creativity.My personal way of spirituality too.

I know it's a subjective thing, and my point with this is that we all need something - whatever that be - to turn to when sadness/loneliness bites us in the heart...It doesn't really matter what "it" is, as long as it works...

:cake: :cake: :cake:

I've been trying to do more of the things that seem to stimulate me more, what is hopefully a road to self-development. Lately, I've been doing some light hiking and bird-watching, but also going to the arts movie theater. I just need to schedule everything around my varying work schedule and wait out for good weather days. I invite people to go with me, but conflicts of schedule and interest limits the company.

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TheEvaTree

Personally, what helps me the best is my perception of my reality, of life in me. My love of selfdevelopment and exploring new things, or new ways of creating wonder in my life. My love of creativity.My personal way of spirituality too.

I know it's a subjective thing, and my point with this is that we all need something - whatever that be - to turn to when sadness/loneliness bites us in the heart...It doesn't really matter what "it" is, as long as it works...

:cake: :cake: :cake:

I've been trying to do more of the things that seem to stimulate me more, what is hopefully a road to self-development. Lately, I've been doing some light hiking and bird-watching, but also going to the arts movie theater. I just need to schedule everything around my varying work schedule and wait out for good weather days. I invite people to go with me, but conflicts of schedule and interest limits the company.

Yeah it's nice to have great hobbies to make life worth the struggles...

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AnotherMember

Have you done this poll? Asexuals age rank

By the way Armadillo, I dont think what you are going through has a relation with the age factor, it would be more about personal situations, stress, and such. I act a bit silly when I feel frustrated...

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NamTar

As to how it feels to turn 30, I personally felt like something clicked in my head. I remember walking into work around that time and thinking, "hey! Im an adult now without a doubt, and now I can see through all these older people. Nobody knows anything! Theyre all bluffing! So I am just as qualified as anyone else to have an opinion!"

Yeah, same. It was like, "hey, now I really AM an adult! What the hell!? How did that happen?" Haha. On some level, i feel like maybe people will take me more seriously. As for people "bluffing," that too! When I was a wee little thing, I thought maybe adults had all the answers, but now I know the truth. They don't, so that makes it okay for me to not have all the answers. Still, some days I feel like a little kid playing dress up, like I can't possibly be a real adult, like I'm faking it somehow. I finally am getting my driver's license (I used public transport my whole life) and I was driving around the mall with my grandpa (he's teaching me) thinking, "He trusts me with his car! Me! I am driving on the road just like real adult people!" Then I realized I am a real adult person.

I sorta freaked out when I turned 25, though. That felt like a milestone to me. I mean, a quarter century! And nothing to show for it! the 30s do feel like a new chapter, however.

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Damaris

Is it just because I'm female, or immature, or an artist (or dare i suggest, an idiot)? My emotions are almost off the scale right now. I'm shaking. I just sent a very snide message to someone, making a wild accusation based on very spurious evidence. Surely this ought to stop after you hit 30? I've gotten worse. I was never like this in my 20s (but then, I'd also never had anything to do with boys then either).

I've turned into Supa Bitch. I don't deserve cake. I deserve sedatives.

I think my hormones never faded after puberty and went right on pumping toxins into my brain; sometimes I feel absolutely mad. It makes me wonder what will come during menopause ... and whether friends and family will survive it. :huh:

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genkigirl

And there's no-one else to blame if you have screws left over at the end (or run short before you've finished) :lol:

Exactly! :lol:

However, if the bookcase is slightly askew, there's also no one around to complain about my handiwork day after day, so I think that's a fair trade.

I never thought of that but it's so true! 2 yrs ago when my kids were away for a week I took a week off work and singlehandedly built a whole bedroom for them (and another for me) thanx to Ikea. I got the stuff back from the store with the help of my bro who then had to go to work. I lived on the second floor at the time (no lift) so I asked a workman who was fitting kitchens nearby to help me carry the wardrobes in and he nearly put his back out! Poor guy!

I had my fill of DIY for the decade then :)

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genkigirl

I would love to chat but my English skills are too poor for that :(

What languages do you speak? Are we allowed to chat in different languages? I can speak French and Japanese if thats helpful. I also know a tiny bit of Brazilian Portuguese.

I would echo what Yummy said too, this is a great place to practise English too :)

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AnotherMember

I would love to chat but my English skills are too poor for that :(

What languages do you speak? Are we allowed to chat in different languages? I can speak French and Japanese if thats helpful. I also know a tiny bit of Brazilian Portuguese.

I would echo what Yummy said too, this is a great place to practise English too :)

Ohhhh nooo!! FronzenCherry mother language its a top secret!! :ph34r: nobody is allow to ask that! :o

...By the way I love your avatar :)

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genkigirl

I would love to chat but my English skills are too poor for that :(

What languages do you speak? Are we allowed to chat in different languages? I can speak French and Japanese if thats helpful. I also know a tiny bit of Brazilian Portuguese.

I would echo what Yummy said too, this is a great place to practise English too :)

Ohhhh nooo!! FronzenCherry mother language its a top secret!! :ph34r: nobody is allow to ask that! :o

...By the way I love your avatar :)

Please forgive me!!! :blush: I was just trying to help.

PS Why is it a secret??

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FrozenCherry

I would love to chat but my English skills are too poor for that :(

What languages do you speak? Are we allowed to chat in different languages? I can speak French and Japanese if thats helpful. I also know a tiny bit of Brazilian Portuguese.

I would echo what Yummy said too, this is a great place to practise English too :)

Ohhhh nooo!! FronzenCherry mother language its a top secret!! :ph34r: nobody is allow to ask that! :o

...By the way I love your avatar :)

Please forgive me!!! :blush: I was just trying to help.

PS Why is it a secret??

Even FBI does not know it!!!!! :o They can catch BL but not what is my mother language ;)

It is secred because my country men are usually such a bullies. When they know they cannot stop bugging my English. It is pretty annoying. Well... I am only person in the world who sucks with languages :P My English is craplish :wub:

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Samael

Anyone else here having teenage romances in their 30s? I just realised I am and it pisses me off. I knew this stuff was bollocks when I was a teen and secretly thought I was so much smarter than my friends when we were at school. Turns out I've just delayed the inevitable and now I'm making a big fool of myself while my friends are now married with kids. I hate my life. I hate me. And I hate ...well just everything. Bloody men.

*Pays a visit to the 30s thread to post a reply*

A teenage romance in 30s? Sounds like a juicy plot for a sitcom, actually. If anything, you deserve some :cake: for that.

If I remember correctly, I think you've said something about wanting a family before. Did the desire for a family come up recently?

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Samael

Are you glad you aren't having these dramas? ;)

I'm not a drama llama really, but I see the art of causing turmoil in life is not lost on everybody. :lol:

Based on what I've read, taking time to understand the situation can be a good idea.

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Samael

Are you glad you aren't having these dramas? ;)

I'm not a drama llama really, but I see the art of causing turmoil in life is not lost on everybody. :lol:

Based on what I've read, taking time to understand the situation can be a good idea.

It's pure lust and power struggle--I think he has narcissistic personality disorder, and I'm not sure if I do too. We had a fight tonight and I loved it, but somehow he ended up subduing me again. There's something wrong with this. He's playing me like an instrument and I'm falling for it every time. It's not good but I'm addicted. I think I have some pathological need for abuse.

It doesn't take a narcissistic nature or a need for abuse to "look up" to those who we feel inferior to.

We like playing with those who are capable of outsmarting us in our own game. Why? There are many reasons, but I think the temptation of challenge is not easy to resist. If you think about it from a logical perspective, you might not find any good reasons, but might find quite a few if viewed from an emotional one (excitement, unpredictability, insecurity etc. which will get you addicted to him if you don't distance yourself from emotion). Also, if we lose a round in the struggle for power, we subconsciously accept the outcome as a fate which we deserve and thus embrace for the time being. Hence the feeling of being subdued which doesn't automatically lead to a /ragequit.

I think that once this pattern is recognized, we can have a chance to break away from it if it was our wish. The strategy of your opponent is always based on him relying that you will be dominated by an emotional state, not a logical state, before he makes his moves in the game for power.

Combine the existence of sexual attraction to this formula and you're not only emotionally addicted, but also sexually attracted. Lust followed by a broken heart awaits in the end, I reckon, if you keep not only playing the game, but also losing to him in it. :excl:

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Ged of Earthsea

Seems right for the current tone of the thread.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woiPrPJC5s0

"When I grew up and fell in love

I asked my sweetheart "What lies ahead?

Will there be rainbows, day after day?

Will we become just another cliché?

Having it all yeah and thrown it away?""

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genkigirl

Funnily enough, trying to hang on to my job, another company goes bust! Kind of. Why are management morons?? Easy to see where the mistakes are but nothing changes! :angry:

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Samael

It doesn't take a narcissistic nature or a need for abuse to "look up" to those who we feel inferior to.

We like playing with those who are capable of outsmarting us in our own game. Why? There are many reasons, but I think the temptation of challenge is not easy to resist. If you think about it from a logical perspective, you might not find any good reasons, but might find quite a few if viewed from an emotional one (excitement, unpredictability, insecurity etc. which will get you addicted to him if you don't distance yourself from emotion). Also, if we lose a round in the struggle for power, we subconsciously accept the outcome as a fate which we deserve and thus embrace for the time being. Hence the feeling of being subdued which doesn't automatically lead to a /ragequit.

I think that once this pattern is recognized, we can have a chance to break away from it if it was our wish. The strategy of your opponent is always based on him relying that you will be dominated by an emotional state, not a logical state, before he makes his moves in the game for power.

Combine the existence of sexual attraction to this formula and you're not only emotionally addicted, but also sexually attracted. Lust followed by a broken heart awaits in the end, I reckon, if you keep not only playing the game, but also losing to him in it. :excl:

I think you've got it spot on Samael! There are emotional reasons for me to play this game, not logical ones, and yes, losing a round is something I accept and then look forward to the next battle. There is a pattern. I would probably be better off keeping well away from him. But we are still kind of friends. Certainly if I can keep my emotional distance somewhat I will have less pain and hurt.

Well, if you are going to play with him, be sure to win the next time :) Afterall, it's no fun losing all the time.

If the name of the game is power, then think of ways to subdue him in turn. It doesn't take a romantic or sexual relationship to play with emotions. The ultimate goal of your strategy would be to make him lose logical control which would make him emotionally vulnerable, all the while maintaining your own control without succumbing into your own emotions. The one who is in control of the interaction determines its outcome, which means you want to keep your head cool and think before acting (something that can be easily forgotten if you have slipped into an emotional state unaware). If you manage control at his expense, it means you can have your choice in the form of the relationship (platonic/romantic/sexual/something else) and also maintain the feeling of being close but not vulnerable.

But enough of theorizing, I think. It's a somewhat dark subject this, controlling (and manipulating) others. Should talk about something more pleasant next ^_^

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