N7_Paladin Posted January 30, 2023 Share Posted January 30, 2023 I'm 33 next month Quote Link to post Share on other sites
KJW Posted February 1, 2023 Share Posted February 1, 2023 Hello, it's great to meet more 30-somethings who are ace. I will be in my mid 30s later this year. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MinnieMouse Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 On 1/24/2023 at 12:36 AM, Slajmy said: Hi. I'm 35. Surprisingly still alive I'm 35 too. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NerdyBirdy Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 I’ll be 35 this month. Eeek 😯 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nyxツ Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 Hi all. I’m well, myself. Not comfortable sharing my name, but I definitely can relate to a lot of you, however for myself, I don’t personally like labels. I Can get into that later. Just don’t address me as maam or sir lol I like dogs more than humans, they are definitely nicer, kinder, more loyal, and most the time always happy to see you lol i don’t have great interpersonal skills, not knocking on myself too hard or anything just being honest. I am a bit distrusting of people just in a general sense. I keep my distance from most people. I try to not have friends as I do not like any type of drama, unless it’s on my tv, even then sometimes it’s too much. i Don’t mind talking to others and occasionally having a friend but the moment there is any drama or tension I am out. I’m curious to talk to you all and know about all of you. okay I’m off for now. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
alto Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 hey! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nickolekuebler Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 On 1/26/2023 at 3:35 PM, Stranger Things said: This. Absolutely this. If you want a walking buddy, I do love a good hike. 🥾🚶♂️ dont live in the uk but always up for a good hike as well. my roommate and I go hiking together all the time and we are always up for some company. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Yunicornia Posted February 4, 2023 Share Posted February 4, 2023 Accepting who I am at 33 was a revelation that scared my previous partner off hehe. Am now 34 and thriving 🦄 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 4, 2023 Share Posted February 4, 2023 @Yunicornia what a great username! Glad you're thriving ✨ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kittyminion Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 I just turned 33 in November, and I honestly feel like I have no idea how to be an adult. Everyday I look at how I have my own apartment, take care of my cat by myself, and do everything on my own, and I am in awe because I still think of myself as a kid. Anybody else have adulting imposter syndrome? 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
alto Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 9 minutes ago, kittyminion said: I just turned 33 in November, and I honestly feel like I have no idea how to be an adult. Everyday I look at how I have my own apartment, take care of my cat by myself, and do everything on my own, and I am in awe because I still think of myself as a kid. Anybody else have adulting imposter syndrome? Me too. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nittanylion Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 16 minutes ago, kittyminion said: I just turned 33 in November, and I honestly feel like I have no idea how to be an adult. Everyday I look at how I have my own apartment, take care of my cat by myself, and do everything on my own, and I am in awe because I still think of myself as a kid. Anybody else have adulting imposter syndrome? YES - everyday! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nittanylion Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 Hi everyone! I'm turning 30 and am SO glad I found this space, new here & hope everyone is doing well 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kittyminion Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 Welcome to your 30s! We have a lot of fun here Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ThatBadCat Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 15 hours ago, kittyminion said: I just turned 33 in November, and I honestly feel like I have no idea how to be an adult. Everyday I look at how I have my own apartment, take care of my cat by myself, and do everything on my own, and I am in awe because I still think of myself as a kid. Anybody else have adulting imposter syndrome? haha yep. I still sometimes have moments where I think to myself that I need to "ask an adult" how to do something, or what decision to make... and then I realise that I am the adult 😅 and then I just ask my parents. On Sunday I was talking with a friend (same age) and we had the oddly shocking realisation that in 2030 we would be 40. 2030 is not far away, and I do not feel old enough to be 40 that soon! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fell Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 I still don't feel old enough to be 30 not to mention 40 life goes very quickly Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Barbio Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 I'm not quite 30 yet, but I guess I can now be classified as "late 20s". It's weird- I feel like I'm "too old" to belong with the 20-somethings anymore, even though I technically still am one. Maybe it's a generational thing, since most 20-somethings are Gen Z now? And I guess I'm considered a young Millennial, even though most Millennials are over 30 now. I almost feel like I don't know where I belong. I wonder if that will change when I do hit 30? (And then repeat itself once I approach 40...) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CincinnatiAsexual Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 1 hour ago, Barbio said: I'm not quite 30 yet, but I guess I can now be classified as "late 20s". It's weird- I feel like I'm "too old" to belong with the 20-somethings anymore, even though I technically still am one. Maybe it's a generational thing, since most 20-somethings are Gen Z now? And I guess I'm considered a young Millennial, even though most Millennials are over 30 now. I almost feel like I don't know where I belong. I wonder if that will change when I do hit 30? (And then repeat itself once I approach 40...) Exactly! Some of us in our 30's have sat with asexuality for a number of years while already being adult. It's different to connect with people about your orientation when you are let's say in your teens. But those of us who are in our 30's probably have a lot more in common with people of a certain generation than with those who haven't experienced balancing a personal budget yet. No offense meant to anyone. At 30 most of us have a different frame of mind than when we were teenagers. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Taps Posted February 11, 2023 Share Posted February 11, 2023 Hey everyone! Another Newbie here... I turned 31 last month and it seems like the last couple of years have been a huge period of change and evaluating what it is I actually want from life. I first heard about asexuality about ten years ago, recognised myself in it, then kind of panicked and spent the rest of my 20s mostly in denial and trying (although not particularly hard) to find the 'right person' everyone assured me was out there. I'm determined that my 30s are going to be different - more honest and authentic. After re-discovering AVEN over the last couple of weeks I can already feel my self acceptance, trust and confidence growing, although anxious thoughts and questions still intrude a lot. I'm really happy to have found these forums and this thread in particular as it's great to feel included in a community with so many shared experiences. Can anyone else relate to struggling to accept that they're ace? Or at least to using the label definitively? 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NerdyBirdy Posted February 11, 2023 Share Posted February 11, 2023 1 hour ago, Taps said: Hey everyone! Another Newbie here... I turned 31 last month and it seems like the last couple of years have been a huge period of change and evaluating what it is I actually want from life. I first heard about asexuality about ten years ago, recognised myself in it, then kind of panicked and spent the rest of my 20s mostly in denial and trying (although not particularly hard) to find the 'right person' everyone assured me was out there. I'm determined that my 30s are going to be different - more honest and authentic. After re-discovering AVEN over the last couple of weeks I can already feel my self acceptance, trust and confidence growing, although anxious thoughts and questions still intrude a lot. I'm really happy to have found these forums and this thread in particular as it's great to feel included in a community with so many shared experiences. Can anyone else relate to struggling to accept that they're ace? Or at least to using the label definitively? Your experience sounds quite similar to mine. I spend most of my 20s thinking I needed to meet someone and not trying very hard to meet them. I think I averaged around 1 date a year. 😂 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Taps Posted February 11, 2023 Share Posted February 11, 2023 2 hours ago, NerdyBirdy said: Your experience sounds quite similar to mine. I spend most of my 20s thinking I needed to meet someone and not trying very hard to meet them. I think I averaged around 1 date a year. 😂 I only ever went on one date! 🥴😂🤦🏻♀️ I would always rather spend my time reading books instead 😁 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeopardLegs Posted February 11, 2023 Share Posted February 11, 2023 9 hours ago, Taps said: Hey everyone! Another Newbie here... I turned 31 last month and it seems like the last couple of years have been a huge period of change and evaluating what it is I actually want from life. I first heard about asexuality about ten years ago, recognised myself in it, then kind of panicked and spent the rest of my 20s mostly in denial and trying (although not particularly hard) to find the 'right person' everyone assured me was out there. I'm determined that my 30s are going to be different - more honest and authentic. After re-discovering AVEN over the last couple of weeks I can already feel my self acceptance, trust and confidence growing, although anxious thoughts and questions still intrude a lot. I'm really happy to have found these forums and this thread in particular as it's great to feel included in a community with so many shared experiences. Can anyone else relate to struggling to accept that they're ace? Or at least to using the label definitively? Definitely. I first started coming to the conclusion that I was probably somewhere on the ace-spectrum two years ago when I was 33. I mused on that for a while and then decided to date again and when I met someone, decided I must be demisexual and not asexual because my libido shot through the roof with all the new relationship energy. Didn't really think about the fact that I don't think I was sexually attracted to him, I just think that I can be very sex favourable in a new relationship where I'm feeling all excited because I'm attractive to another person. Then the sex became less interesting for me and I started to freak out about things moving in the direction of us moving in together and after much anxious over thinking realised that I was overthinking on what was a gut feeling of 'I don't want that'. Had a conversation with him that ended up in our relationship ending and me feeling like a horrible person for breaking his heart and not wanting the same things. And now here I am thinking that I'm actually asexual and not demisexual and possibly on the aromantic spectrum as well, and all my past history is starting to make sense. It turns out that it wasn't that I needed to have more exciting sex/meet someone different/have a more passionate partner, I'm just asexual and none of that stuff is going to work. One thing I will say is that no-one's governing your use of the label. For the time being, based on what I know about myself at this moment, I'm going with asexual. I suspect there's probably a more precise label like aegosexual, but the broad label is enough for me. If it turns out later that I still had the wrong end of the stick and I'm not asexual then I'll use a different label. There's so much grey area when it comes to sexuality but I think it's ok to just use whatever label feels right at the moment, and it's less scary doing that, particularly if you're an anxious person like me who tends to like more black and white things, than feeling like once you've chosen a label you have to have it 100% right and you can't ever change. I mean, I spent 33 years of my life thinking I was heterosexual when I wasn't actually attracted to men, so if anyone's going to come at me, it should be about that Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeopardLegs Posted February 11, 2023 Share Posted February 11, 2023 8 hours ago, NerdyBirdy said: Your experience sounds quite similar to mine. I spend most of my 20s thinking I needed to meet someone and not trying very hard to meet them. I think I averaged around 1 date a year. 😂 Not so much my twenties, but my mum really did me over in my late teens by telling me I was 'too picky' and telling me I needed to go on dates even if I didn't think I liked them that way. That really screwed me up because ever since then I adopted the mentality that I should 'give people a chance' and I probably wouldn't have had so many failed relationships if I'd just ignored that advice. I literally had a guy kiss me on the first date and I felt physically disgusted and I still continued seeing him because I thought I should give him another chance, and we were in a relationship for 8 months... 🤯 I have to laugh about it or I'd cry. I am so thankful for therapy is all I can say, I had been taught all my life to put my own needs and feelings aside and that was so ingrained in me that I just kept doing it even when no-one was telling me to. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NerdyBirdy Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 16 hours ago, Taps said: I only ever went on one date! 🥴😂🤦🏻♀️ I would always rather spend my time reading books instead 😁 Oh same here! Books were always way better! 😃 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NerdyBirdy Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 9 hours ago, LeopardLegs said: Not so much my twenties, but my mum really did me over in my late teens by telling me I was 'too picky' and telling me I needed to go on dates even if I didn't think I liked them that way. That really screwed me up because ever since then I adopted the mentality that I should 'give people a chance' and I probably wouldn't have had so many failed relationships if I'd just ignored that advice. I literally had a guy kiss me on the first date and I felt physically disgusted and I still continued seeing him because I thought I should give him another chance, and we were in a relationship for 8 months... 🤯 I have to laugh about it or I'd cry. I am so thankful for therapy is all I can say, I had been taught all my life to put my own needs and feelings aside and that was so ingrained in me that I just kept doing it even when no-one was telling me to. I was told I was too picky too so I would try and give people chances. I would try to go on at least 2 dates with someone and one I did three dates with: That was a disaster. All It did was send my anxiety sky high, thinking there was something wrong with me for not liking anyone in that way. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Taps Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 14 hours ago, LeopardLegs said: Definitely. I first started coming to the conclusion that I was probably somewhere on the ace-spectrum two years ago when I was 33. I mused on that for a while and then decided to date again and when I met someone, decided I must be demisexual and not asexual because my libido shot through the roof with all the new relationship energy. Didn't really think about the fact that I don't think I was sexually attracted to him, I just think that I can be very sex favourable in a new relationship where I'm feeling all excited because I'm attractive to another person. Then the sex became less interesting for me and I started to freak out about things moving in the direction of us moving in together and after much anxious over thinking realised that I was overthinking on what was a gut feeling of 'I don't want that'. Had a conversation with him that ended up in our relationship ending and me feeling like a horrible person for breaking his heart and not wanting the same things. And now here I am thinking that I'm actually asexual and not demisexual and possibly on the aromantic spectrum as well, and all my past history is starting to make sense. It turns out that it wasn't that I needed to have more exciting sex/meet someone different/have a more passionate partner, I'm just asexual and none of that stuff is going to work. One thing I will say is that no-one's governing your use of the label. For the time being, based on what I know about myself at this moment, I'm going with asexual. I suspect there's probably a more precise label like aegosexual, but the broad label is enough for me. If it turns out later that I still had the wrong end of the stick and I'm not asexual then I'll use a different label. There's so much grey area when it comes to sexuality but I think it's ok to just use whatever label feels right at the moment, and it's less scary doing that, particularly if you're an anxious person like me who tends to like more black and white things, than feeling like once you've chosen a label you have to have it 100% right and you can't ever change. I mean, I spent 33 years of my life thinking I was heterosexual when I wasn't actually attracted to men, so if anyone's going to come at me, it should be about that I just have to keep reminding myself of that! I think I’ve spent so many years over compensating, trying to be perfect and people pleasing to distract from this ‘secret’ thing being wrong with me, and now I find it hard thinking about getting things wrong - including using the asexual label 🥴 change is the only thing that’s constant right? It fits for now, feels right for now, so I’m going to try not to worry so much about the future. ☺️ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Taps Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 14 hours ago, LeopardLegs said: Not so much my twenties, but my mum really did me over in my late teens by telling me I was 'too picky' and telling me I needed to go on dates even if I didn't think I liked them that way. That really screwed me up because ever since then I adopted the mentality that I should 'give people a chance' and I probably wouldn't have had so many failed relationships if I'd just ignored that advice. I literally had a guy kiss me on the first date and I felt physically disgusted and I still continued seeing him because I thought I should give him another chance, and we were in a relationship for 8 months... 🤯 I have to laugh about it or I'd cry. I am so thankful for therapy is all I can say, I had been taught all my life to put my own needs and feelings aside and that was so ingrained in me that I just kept doing it even when no-one was telling me to. Ahh I’m sorry. I’ve definitely had the “give him a chance” thrown at me (by my mother as well) and it lead to me kissing people in my teens and early twenties and feeling awful afterwards. Generally the next day I’d be full of shame, almost like I’d done something against my authentic self, and worry that they’d get in contact and expect more from me. I’m glad therapy helped… I’ve been for things unrelated to my sexuality but I’m starting to think booking a few more sessions wouldn’t be a bad thing 😅 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Taps Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 4 hours ago, NerdyBirdy said: Oh same here! Books were always way better! 😃 Any recommendations? 😁 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NerdyBirdy Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 4 hours ago, Taps said: Any recommendations? 😁 What sort of books do you like? I’m quite a fan of romance, despite being ace. I’m reading the bridge kingdom at the moment which is mainly fantasy with a small amount of romance. I recently read loveless by Alice oseman which is about an aroace girl at university. I identified with her quite a lot. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 I recently read Loveless too! Some bits seemed a bit too convenient for my taste, but it was still a cute read and very nice to see the representation. I'm eager to read more books with aro/ace rep, although I'm struggling to find stuff that sounds like it might be my type of story. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.