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godverdomme
1 minute ago, MamaGoose TortoiseAdopter said:

🤬🤬🤬

Yep that's what it made me feel... especially that they kept going on about it for weeks. Some people are inconsiderate.

 

I hope this has never happened to any of you, or is never going to happen.

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Elizabeth Bennet
1 hour ago, godverdomme said:

I was apparently "too pretty" to even have a brain, according to one certain person.

 

No one has ever offended me that much.

Relatable.

I also can tell when people think me vain because I take care of my appearance.

I like to do this trick: when I see prejudice colour their faces as the appearance topic comes up, I mention I'm a fashion stylist, so they go "Makes sense." Then, as the conversation progresses I open up about the rest of my academic life (which they normally don't expect, because I look so young), and enjoy as they lose all sense of logic.

It's refreshing.

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godverdomme
52 minutes ago, plund3r said:

Relatable.

I also can tell when people think me vain because I take care of my appearance.

I like to do this trick: when I see prejudice colour their faces as the appearance topic comes up, I mention I'm a fashion stylist, so they go "Makes sense." Then, as the conversation progresses I open up about the rest of my academic life (which they normally don't expect, because I look so young), and enjoy as they lose all sense of logic.

It's refreshing.

I quite did that, too, except that I'm not a fashion stylist (I appreciate those who are, though), and this person was in awe, but just one day later they were all about how "I'm so pretty that it's actually easier to believe I'm somewhat dumb because it [brains] doesn't go well with my appearance so let's stick to that". Lack of respect at its finest.

Some people never learn. You can outsmart them a billion times and yet they keep seeing what they want to see. It's quite sad, actually.

 

Besides, it was just one case. I'm not the most handsome dude on the street :lol: and I'm fine with that.

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Guybrush Threepwood

Don't mind me, I'm just here planting fields of sunflowers. 🌻

 

I might even put a field of lavender on the sunny side to walk through in the summer and enjoy the smell.

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On 7/28/2022 at 6:41 PM, illiumbluebell said:

I think most will have heard something amongst the line of A stands for Ally, asexuality is NOT a real thing, have I seen a doctor and my favorite...so you choose not to have sex, that's not a sexuality.

 

Safe to say I never went back to that crowd, I have no need for toxicity like that. But I also never went to Pride. Too scared to go.

 

This year I was in NY during Pride week and to support my sister's lesbian roommate we joined in on a Dyke March, which was amazing. I'd been looking for an ace flag to no avail when I actually found one with a vendor. Immediately bought it and marched on. 5 minutes later I get tapped on the shoulder by a woman who just said I know this might me weird but look...turned around to show her ace flag on her backpack....can I give you a hug? So we hugged snd she went back to her gang and I got all teary. My sis and her roomie were so happy for me and I hugged another fellow ace an hour later. My first real life meeting with any ace ever.

 

So here's my dilemma. This Saturday is the Amsterdam Pride Walk and I really want to go but I will have to go alone and I'm still kind of scared. None of my friends can go and some don't want to cause weekends are for family/they don't get the whole scene (which fair some of the outfits during Pride can be extreme), which is their right. I created a topic in the meetup market section here on Aven weeks ago and 0 responses. So here I am...36 years old and feeling like a scared chicken.

 

Thoughts anyone? 

This is how I have felt since coming to the realisation of being Ace. Whilst close friends of mine who are LGBTQIA+ have been incredibly supportive (to which I am very thankful and fortunate, I feel really bad about you not getting the same), I do feel somewhat apprehensive about attending Pride marches myself for the same reason. I do want to go at some point, but almost certainly wouldn't be going by myself.

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Elizabeth Bennet

I don't know if this happens to you too, but Pride seems a bit...exposing? I'll try to explain.

 

Unless you partake in any other label inside the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, asexuality is pretty "passing" most of the time. Meaning, people can't tell, even when you are wearing the ring. Heck, I doubt even most of the people would recognise the flag, considering it always seems to be left out.

So attending an event like that is really coming out to the world in front of a bunch of strangers, and that's daunting to say the least. Plus, people can react pretty jarringly to the whole "no, sex isn't a driving force in my life" idea, they tend to get defensive, and...yeah.

I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this.

 

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Guybrush Threepwood

I've never seen the point of pride events. It doesn't make the world watch and think "oh, the poor lamb, I really support and accept them". It actually seems to lead to more hate so IDK. Sure, it gives the opportunity to talk about people's differences but the people that will accept you already do and the rest never will no matter the education. Telling a few friends is about as far as I want to go with the whole thing. Labels are completely pointless to me anyway. As others have said, asexuality largely isn't accepted in the community anyway so it could lead to some scary, unpleasant experiences.

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Elizabeth Bennet
2 minutes ago, Guybrush Threepwood said:

Hello and welcome to the forum, @Dreina:):cake:

 

2 minutes ago, Elizabeth Bennet said:

Welcome to AVEN, Dreina 🍰

Hope you like it here.

Now, to be welcomed by the pair of fictional weirdos in the room, how must it feel?, I wonder 🤣

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1 minute ago, Elizabeth Bennet said:

 

Now, to be welcomed by the pair of fictional weirdos in the room, how must it feel?, I wonder 🤣

Definitely feels like the right place to be! 😆

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Guybrush Threepwood
1 minute ago, Elizabeth Bennet said:

 

Now, to be welcomed by the pair of fictional weirdos in the room, how must it feel?, I wonder 🤣

Me, fictional? Pfft. 😧

 

I was weirdly thinking about female names for a tea party. I was toying with Lily and Matilda. I blame you for talking about a pretentious coffee shop. 🙈

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Elizabeth Bennet

I don't quite grasp the purpose for them, but I only accept Mrs Nesbitt as a pretentious name for a tea party.

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Guybrush Threepwood
5 minutes ago, Elizabeth Bennet said:

I don't quite grasp the purpose for them, but I only accept Mrs Nesbitt as a pretentious name for a tea party.

I wasn't thinking about it in a pretentious way. Just the tea party and those present.

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Elizabeth Bennet
1 minute ago, Guybrush Threepwood said:

I wasn't thinking about it in a pretentious way. Just the tea party and those present.

But if it happens in a pretentious café its participants should be adequately pompous themselves, shouldn't they? Everything over the top!!

At least that's been my experience so far at pretentious tea parties (and I admittedly had my share of them...)

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Guybrush Threepwood
1 minute ago, Elizabeth Bennet said:

But if it happens in a pretentious café its participants should be adequately pompous themselves, shouldn't they? Everything over the top!!

At least that's been my experience so far at pretentious tea parties (and I admittedly had my share of them...)

Cecilia is the name that comes to mind then, to be a bit different.

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Elizabeth Bennet
3 minutes ago, Guybrush Threepwood said:

Cecilia is the name that comes to mind then, to be a bit different.

So I'm assuming the importance of the names is...to serve as an alias for the participants? I've always been quite myself at those events; only hungrier.

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1 hour ago, Dreina said:

Hi guys,

 

so I joined, like, a few hours ago and, as I see, I have some catching up to do but for now, simply "Hi!" 😁

Hi and welcome to AVEN! :)

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1 hour ago, Dreina said:

Hi guys,

 

so I joined, like, a few hours ago and, as I see, I have some catching up to do but for now, simply "Hi!" 😁

Hello and welcome to AVEN :) :cake:

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2 hours ago, Dreina said:

Hi guys,

 

so I joined, like, a few hours ago and, as I see, I have some catching up to do but for now, simply "Hi!" 😁

Welcome! ^_^

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On 7/28/2022 at 7:41 PM, illiumbluebell said:

Ok so I have a dilemma that I've tried to discuss with my friends but they don't seem to get it. They mean well but they can't grasp the problem. So here I'll dump it on you guys and maybe I'll make sense of it though comments.

 

I realised I was ace a few years back, explored and researched and celebrated the fact I now had a name for what I was...also no longer feeling like a freak. I didn't have a whole big coming out. Told a few people over a period of months. Then I was at a party where most were LGBT and we were talking about Pride where I was thinking of going that year. I asked where they got their flags and stuff and there was this whole 'oooh are you in team gay or bi' thing and I just said neither and told them I was ace. 

 

Dead silence.

 

Then laughter. Also telling me to be serious. Me saying I was serious I was Ace as in the A from the LGBTQIA (if I'm missing any letters apologies). Lets say their reaction wasn't nice. I think most will have heard something amongst the line of A stands for Ally, asexuality is NOT a real thing, have I seen a doctor and my favorite...so you choose not to have sex, that's not a sexuality.

 

Safe to say I never went back to that crowd, I have no need for toxicity like that. But I also never went to Pride. Too scared to go.

 

This year I was in NY during Pride week and to support my sister's lesbian roommate we joined in on a Dyke March, which was amazing. I'd been looking for an ace flag to no avail when I actually found one with a vendor. Immediately bought it and marched on. 5 minutes later I get tapped on the shoulder by a woman who just said I know this might me weird but look...turned around to show her ace flag on her backpack....can I give you a hug? So we hugged snd she went back to her gang and I got all teary. My sis and her roomie were so happy for me and I hugged another fellow ace an hour later. My first real life meeting with any ace ever.

 

So here's my dilemma. This Saturday is the Amsterdam Pride Walk and I really want to go but I will have to go alone and I'm still kind of scared. None of my friends can go and some don't want to cause weekends are for family/they don't get the whole scene (which fair some of the outfits during Pride can be extreme), which is their right. I created a topic in the meetup market section here on Aven weeks ago and 0 responses. So here I am...36 years old and feeling like a scared chicken.

 

Thoughts anyone? 

Oh no, why did I only see this now?! 😭

I would've loved to go.

Sorry to hear you didn't in the end but I completely get it.

I've been wanting to go to pride but I'm not really out to anyone so I can't ask any of my friends and I'm way too scared of receiving negativity to go on my own...

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50_Shades_of_Greysexual

Hello! I just turned 35 and wanted to celebrate with y'all! Halfway to 40 🙈

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Guybrush Threepwood
2 minutes ago, 50_Shades_of_Greysexual said:

Hello! I just turned 35 and wanted to celebrate with y'all! Halfway to 40 🙈

Welcome to the crazy house. 🤪

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Elizabeth Bennet
7 minutes ago, 50_Shades_of_Greysexual said:

Hello! I just turned 35 and wanted to celebrate with y'all! Halfway to 40 🙈

Happy birthday 😊🍰

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ERR_NAME_NOT_RESOLVED
16 minutes ago, 50_Shades_of_Greysexual said:

Hello! I just turned 35 and wanted to celebrate with y'all! Halfway to 40 🙈

Came to this thread (which I left the past year, as turned 40) *only* to honor your birthday, although I bet @Guybrush Threepwoodwould say I just came for the party/cake :P . Anyway, Happy birthday! 😎🥳

 

triple-chocolate-peanut-butter-layer-cak

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50_Shades_of_Greysexual
1 minute ago, ERR_NAME_NOT_RESOLVED said:

Came to this thread (which I left the past year, as turned 40) *only* to honor your birthday, although I bet @Guybrush Threepwoodwould say I just came for the party/cake :P . Anyway, Happy birthday! 😎🥳

 

triple-chocolate-peanut-butter-layer-cak

Aww, thank you for visiting, it means a lot! And thank you for the birthday wishes, much appreciated 

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ERR_NAME_NOT_RESOLVED
3 minutes ago, 50_Shades_of_Greysexual said:

Aww, thank you for visiting, it means a lot! And thank you for the birthday wishes, much appreciated 

thank-you-youre-welcome.gif

 

*Politely retires* 🤪

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