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For 30-somethings and those around that age

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TheEvaTree

My brother made me laugh today. We were talking about how annoying people can be when they don't see that there is more than one way to approach situations and end up causing problems because of not thinking laterally. I told him to be prepared for it to get worse from here on in because the population will become relatively younger and younger from his perspective, and apparently stupider and stupider. He replied that we just have to hope that dementia will take us sooner rather than later then. :lol:

On a serious note, I think this is one of the challenges of reaching 30 -- you become disillusioned and can see how much of life is just stupid stories invented by who knows who to perpetuate meaningless rubbish. Or maybe I'm just a cynic. I don't think so though. I'm just tired of all the lies.

Adding myself to the 30-somethings. :) Feeling sort of cynical myself the last couple years.

Not only am I a new member, I'm also new to the whole idea that there is an established group of people I've been wondering if they existed at all. I'm happy to have finally found AVEN to help me see myself.

However, only learning about asexuals now makes me feel I've wasted the last decade of my life, not knowing if I was alone in my feelings or not. Hopefully, I have the next decade to look forward to.

Welcome!

I also have at least the next decade to look forward to :-)

I have decided to create a wonderful life for the rest of it, and fulfill as many dreams as I can.

:cake: :cake: :cake:

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TheEvaTree

Hello,

Nice to find out this forumtopic. I am 39 ...

And I recognised something in the post nr 134 about whether, (as being in your 30's), you like (or don't like) to be asexual ...

For me, it changes from time to time. When everything goes normally - working, having a lots of things to do, being able to go where I want + to do want I want, I don't really mind. Then, I am happy that being axexual gives me the possibilities to live my life as I want it to.

The things become more complicated during holidays and at special occasions / situations (like now that I am revalidating from an operation). Then, you feel that you are left alone: everyone else chooses for their "most important ones", and you are never the most important one for someone else when you are not in a relationship. I don't know whether an asexual relationship with a sexual partner can exist. I did not yet succeed in it. And I doubt whether it is possible in the first place ... And I don't know where you can meet other asexuals in real life (other than on this site).

So, from time to time, I really don't like being asexual - different; because the consequences of it are so far-going. And at this time, I think I am more on the side of "not liking it very much".

On the other hand, I don't know whether I am a good one for a relationship either.

So, it feels nice to find here ... and a bit of recognition ;-)

I understand. It's a different thing for me though, because I have been living on my own(without a family) for so long(10 years) and struggled to manage practically most of everything myself, even being alone every christmas, holiday, and so on, whenever I know my friends will be with their family, that I'm now so used to it that I find my own way of experiencing wonder and great times. By myself or with strangers. I find joy in the smallest things :)

Having said that, I still do have moments of that feeling of "What's supposed to become of me?" "What is the purpose of my being here alone?".

And I can still have brushes of utter loneliness and sadness, though it happens more seldom now than up through my twenties.

Personally, what helps me the best is my perception of my reality, of life in me. My love of selfdevelopment and exploring new things, or new ways of creating wonder in my life. My love of creativity.My personal way of spirituality too.

I know it's a subjective thing, and my point with this is that we all need something - whatever that be - to turn to when sadness/loneliness bites us in the heart...It doesn't really matter what "it" is, as long as it works...

:cake: :cake: :cake:

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TheEvaTree
So who here remembers the Doomsday Clock? Were you scared? I was terrified.

600px-Doomsday_Clock_graph.svg.png

bush_doomsday_clock.jpg

This is turning into a reminiscing thread :blush:

:wub:

Lol :lol:

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TheEvaTree

I only learned about asexuality a little over 6 years ago after spending a lifetime trying to fit in and wondering why I didn't. I'm 62 now (where did all those years go??? :o ) and yes, it does get a bit lonely at times but now I have my two dogs for company :)

*Oh and my two sons, daughter in law and granddaughter but they all have their own lives to lead :) *

Yeah, like I wrote to another member, it doesn't matter what we do to ease the aspects of life that aren't so pleasurable, as long as it works for us.

And I love being around animals too...

I'm not allowed to have any where I live, so that's not an option. But I'm fine with that at the moment, cause there's too much going on right now(trying to finish studies, will be working more than a lot the next year) for me to take proper care of an animal. But one day I would love to have a cat :) ...

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TheEvaTree

Hi everyone! I'm 37 and I think a forum for our age group is a fantastic idea. I don't have any qualms about being asexual, I just wish it was easier to find a partner. I imagine finding a large amount of asexuals anywhere is a hard enough feat, but I live in the deep South...it's practically impossible to find a man that would admit he is asexual. I'm hoping that by joining this group, I will meet new friends that understand the difficulties we face. Hmmmmmm...that sounded terrible sad didn't it? Ok...I'm going to lighten things up... :blink: lol

Yes!! Hahahaaaah!

Here goes...

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Crazy Cat Lady

The things become more complicated during holidays and at special occasions / situations (like now that I am revalidating from an operation). Then, you feel that you are left alone: everyone else chooses for their "most important ones", and you are never the most important one for someone else when you are not in a relationship.

I agree that this is probably the hardest thing - at least for me. I have just recovered from eye surgery. I had to call on a lot of my friends (tried not to ask anyone more than a couple of times) to help out by getting me groceries, doing some stuff online for me (downloading audio books, etc.), and even a little bit of housework - but that was mostly only asked of my parents. My parents came (from the next province over - about a 7 hour drive) to help out a couple of times over Jan/Feb. It is sooooo much easier to have a significant other to help out with all that stuff (the last time I had surgery - on my knee, almost 10 years ago now - I did have a S.O. to help out. We didn't live together at the time, but it's so much easier to ask of someone you are in a relationship with.) My parents were great to come help out, but they are still young enough that they both work, too, so they had to get some time off each time to come help. Of course, they won't be around forever, either. :(

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Crazy Cat Lady

And I love being around animals too...

I'm not allowed to have any where I live, so that's not an option. But I'm fine with that at the moment, cause there's too much going on right now(trying to finish studies, will be working more than a lot the next year) for me to take proper care of an animal. But one day I would love to have a cat :) ...

My suggestion - there are animal charities that love volunteers! Maybe you can get your "cat fix" by volunteering with cats? I used to volunteer for the local humane society, and am now volunteering for a no-kill shelter instead (due to location, as I don't have a car).

I LOVE the volunteer work I do! It may even be easier that you aren't allowed pets, because then you know you can't bring them home, as that can be a temptation, too (but again, realistically, even if you were allowed pets, you know you can't take them all!) I rent and am limited to two, so I know that the cats I see at the shelter can't come home with me. You want them all to find homes, and when you get to know them really well, it can be hard to say goodbye, but...

I find it's a huge stress reliever to spend time with the cats at the shelter. They are so in need to love and attention and care. And, at the shelter I'm at now, a lot of them are shy/scared/feral, so what we do is socialize them, get them used to people. It's so amazing when there's a breakthrough! Even if it goes slow and takes a long time, when they finally are actually happy to have you pet them, it's an amazing feeling.

Ultimately, I really do love the time I spend there. It's a time to forget all my other worries and concentrate on the cats.

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AnotherMember

Hello everybody!! Hope you are having a wonderful day/afternoon/night/moment :lol:

Few days ago An Aven user wrote this thread Online Meetup for those deployed overseas? So Jam Jam and I are organizing a online meet up for this Sunday (At 5 pm Uk) the schedule will be possible changed by the opinion of others user who would be wanting to attempt it. If anyone of you are interested let us to know so. Maybe the first try will be a total failure, and nobody show up, not even me :lol: (I can have a bad memory sometimes LOL) but... you never know! great things can happen when you keep trying and working on it.

For now we are planing to chat on http://tinychat.com/oldersaven key is: oldersaven :lol: It's not a great technology platform, but can be a start -_- Please be sure to pass on the message, so all the olders around can know :)

(By the way sorry for been so random and changing the topic like that lol)

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TheEvaTree

And I love being around animals too...

I'm not allowed to have any where I live, so that's not an option. But I'm fine with that at the moment, cause there's too much going on right now(trying to finish studies, will be working more than a lot the next year) for me to take proper care of an animal. But one day I would love to have a cat :) ...

My suggestion - there are animal charities that love volunteers! Maybe you can get your "cat fix" by volunteering with cats? I used to volunteer for the local humane society, and am now volunteering for a no-kill shelter instead (due to location, as I don't have a car).

I LOVE the volunteer work I do! It may even be easier that you aren't allowed pets, because then you know you can't bring them home, as that can be a temptation, too (but again, realistically, even if you were allowed pets, you know you can't take them all!) I rent and am limited to two, so I know that the cats I see at the shelter can't come home with me. You want them all to find homes, and when you get to know them really well, it can be hard to say goodbye, but...

I find it's a huge stress reliever to spend time with the cats at the shelter. They are so in need to love and attention and care. And, at the shelter I'm at now, a lot of them are shy/scared/feral, so what we do is socialize them, get them used to people. It's so amazing when there's a breakthrough! Even if it goes slow and takes a long time, when they finally are actually happy to have you pet them, it's an amazing feeling.

Ultimately, I really do love the time I spend there. It's a time to forget all my other worries and concentrate on the cats.

ohhhh, that sounds like a wonderful idea!...If only I didn't need to work full time and get paid too little...But, that's definately put on my options list, from when I start my new job, hopefully before autumn ^_^ ;)

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TheEvaTree

For now we are planing to chat on http://tinychat.com/oldersaven key is: oldersaven :lol: It's not a great technology platform, but can be a start -_- Please be sure to pass on the message, so all the olders around can know :)

(By the way sorry for been so random and changing the topic like that lol)

Hahahahaha - the name! :lol:

Great initiative! I'll be there :) ...

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Crazy Cat Lady

And I love being around animals too...

I'm not allowed to have any where I live, so that's not an option.

My suggestion - there are animal charities that love volunteers! Maybe you can get your "cat fix" by volunteering with cats?

ohhhh, that sounds like a wonderful idea!...If only I didn't need to work full time and get paid too little...But, that's definately put on my options list, from when I start my new job, hopefully before autumn ^_^ ;)

Yeah, as I was replying it occurred to me how busy you sounded! Hopefully you are able to find some time later. And I really hope you enjoy it once you get started! :)

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Heckin Chonkosaurus

Hello, just checking in on this thread as it seems like it might actually be a 'live' one in the olders forum...

I would love to be a 'cat person' cos they are lovely creatures, but my allergies prevent it - plus the fact I have 2 crazy beagles, who think cats are evil! My friends Stu & Miranda used to have a giant, beautiful grey cat (with white socks) called Mia, she was the most loving, affectionate cat I have ever known, but within 2 minutes of her sitting on me I was streaming from eyes and nose, and doing a fairly good Darth Vader impersonation breathing-wise. Unfortunately she had a kidney problem and had to be put down, so they replaced her with 2 boys, called Jay & Bob who were just crazy, and double the cat, double the allergy for me, so I can't go to their place anymore :(

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TheEvaTree

Hello, just checking in on this thread as it seems like it might actually be a 'live' one in the olders forum...

I would love to be a 'cat person' cos they are lovely creatures, but my allergies prevent it - plus the fact I have 2 crazy beagles, who think cats are evil! My friends Stu & Miranda used to have a giant, beautiful grey cat (with white socks) called Mia, she was the most loving, affectionate cat I have ever known, but within 2 minutes of her sitting on me I was streaming from eyes and nose, and doing a fairly good Darth Vader impersonation breathing-wise. Unfortunately she had a kidney problem and had to be put down, so they replaced her with 2 boys, called Jay & Bob who were just crazy, and double the cat, double the allergy for me, so I can't go to their place anymore :(

Hi...

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AnotherMember

Hello everybody!! Hope you are having a wonderful day/afternoon/night/moment :lol:

Few days ago An Aven user wrote this thread Online Meetup for those deployed overseas? So Jam Jam and I are organizing a online meet up for this Sunday (At 5 pm Uk) the schedule will be possible changed by the opinion of others user who would be wanting to attempt it. If anyone of you are interested let us to know so. Maybe the first try will be a total failure, and nobody show up, not even me :lol: (I can have a bad memory sometimes LOL) but... you never know! great things can happen when you keep trying and working on it.

For now we are planing to chat on http://tinychat.com/oldersaven key is: oldersaven :lol: It's not a great technology platform, but can be a start -_- Please be sure to pass on the message, so all the olders around can know :)

(By the way sorry for been so random and changing the topic like that lol)

Hello you all! The first " online meet up" attemp was done, and I want to thank those who was able and took their time to logging into and said hello. Some wrote me after, telling that they missed it, because they didn't knew :unsure: . Well it was planned quite fast, just to see if it would work. So next one would be in May 15 (at 18:00 UTC/GMT +1 hour London) if that's a good date for those who are interested in it. If you are not so sure about your time zone, then you may check it here: Date

We are planing to chat again in the same platform: http://tinychat.com/oldersaven (Password is: oldersaven), you don't need to install anything, nor loggin into any of your privated accounts ie email, fb, twitter. Also, the chat will be open all this days -but, as you may imagine it will be empty :P :lol:-

Please let me know if you are interested and if you are, be sure to pass on the message, so all the olders around can know. By the way, hope you are ready to broadcast! :o (Ok ok!! If you are shy, just text will be ok, don't run away).

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FrozenCherry

I would love to chat but my English skills are too poor for that :(

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AnotherMember

I would love to chat but my English skills are too poor for that :(

Qué dices!!!! lol! eeeeerrrr! I'm not english speaker as well, but you can do this:

*sits next yummy/cuddleme/susy and watch other people talking* by the way thats a good way to learn English slang at least lol!

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Crazy Cat Lady

Hello, just checking in on this thread as it seems like it might actually be a 'live' one in the olders forum...

I would love to be a 'cat person' cos they are lovely creatures, but my allergies prevent it - plus the fact I have 2 crazy beagles, who think cats are evil! My friends Stu & Miranda used to have a giant, beautiful grey cat (with white socks) called Mia, she was the most loving, affectionate cat I have ever known, but within 2 minutes of her sitting on me I was streaming from eyes and nose, and doing a fairly good Darth Vader impersonation breathing-wise. Unfortunately she had a kidney problem and had to be put down, so they replaced her with 2 boys, called Jay & Bob who were just crazy, and double the cat, double the allergy for me, so I can't go to their place anymore :(

Hi! I'm sorry for your allergies. :( They do sound pretty severe. I have a couple of friends with allergies who are usually o.k. at my place, as long as they take something ahead of time. But, their allergies are not as severe as some people's. Actually, for one of them, her husband is also allergic, and he does have a tougher time at my place than she does.

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Redbeard

31 here. New to the site, still somewhat shocked that there's a word that describes how I've felt for years.

30-somethings hang out in the "Olders" forum? Man... Why do I suddenly feel like I'm in Logan's Run? THERE. IS. NO. SANCTUARY. Then again, this place kinda is Sanctuary...

Anyway, yes, I remember the Doomsday Clock and living in fear of the impending nuclear annihilation. (Thanks, WarGames...)

In regards to another part of the thread, sometimes I get jealous of my friends. Not because they're married and have kids and not because I secretly crave a "normal" sex life like they have. None of that. I get jealous of my friends because they have someone that can help them pick up furniture at Ikea. You ever tried loading a cartful of Billy bookcases into the back of a Prius all by yourself? It ain't easy!

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Blitzentan

And there's no-one else to blame if you have screws left over at the end (or run short before you've finished) :lol:

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FrozenCherry

I would love to chat but my English skills are too poor for that :(

Qué dices!!!! lol! eeeeerrrr! I'm not english speaker as well, but you can do this:

*sits next yummy/cuddleme/susy and watch other people talking* by the way thats a good way to learn English slang at least lol!

I could keep cake in my mouth all the time so I could not say anything.. It is against good manners to talk cake in the mouth.

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AnotherMember

I would love to chat but my English skills are too poor for that :(

Qué dices!!!! lol! eeeeerrrr! I'm not english speaker as well, but you can do this:

*sits next yummy/cuddleme/susy and watch other people talking* by the way thats a good way to learn English slang at least lol!

I could keep cake in my mouth all the time so I could not say anything.. It is against good manners to talk cake in the mouth.

Well see you there then! hehe! share the cake!

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FrozenCherry

I would love to chat but my English skills are too poor for that :(

Qué dices!!!! lol! eeeeerrrr! I'm not english speaker as well, but you can do this:

*sits next yummy/cuddleme/susy and watch other people talking* by the way thats a good way to learn English slang at least lol!

I could keep cake in my mouth all the time so I could not say anything.. It is against good manners to talk cake in the mouth.

Well see you there then! hehe! share the cake!

I went there lurking :P There was a big cakemountain :P Why is it that I never know where is the door outside? :blink:

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slippydooz

Hello you all! The first " online meet up" attemp was done, and I want to thank those who was able and took their time to logging into and said hello. Some wrote me after, telling that they missed it, because they didn't knew :unsure: . Well it was planned quite fast, just to see if it would work. So next one would be in May 15 (at 18:00 UTC/GMT +1 hour London) if that's a good date for those who are interested in it. If you are not so sure about your time zone, then you may check it here: Date

Thank you for organizing, Cuddleme - I dropped in for the first chat and it was a nice time.

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AnotherMember

Good on you guys for organizing online meetups! Sorry i can't make it - will be 3am for me and i need my beauty sleep hehehe

Oh!! well tell me if you could assist a bit earlier hehe! if it so, maybe we can change the schedule :) or we can do another one next month a bit more early. I would have considered the time, but i tought nobody was from Australia and you are :( shame on me! lol

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TheEvaTree

31 here. New to the site, still somewhat shocked that there's a word that describes how I've felt for years.

30-somethings hang out in the "Olders" forum? Man... Why do I suddenly feel like I'm in Logan's Run? THERE. IS. NO. SANCTUARY. Then again, this place kinda is Sanctuary...

Anyway, yes, I remember the Doomsday Clock and living in fear of the impending nuclear annihilation. (Thanks, WarGames...)

In regards to another part of the thread, sometimes I get jealous of my friends. Not because they're married and have kids and not because I secretly crave a "normal" sex life like they have. None of that. I get jealous of my friends because they have someone that can help them pick up furniture at Ikea. You ever tried loading a cartful of Billy bookcases into the back of a Prius all by yourself? It ain't easy!

- Hehehe...We have to create or own sanctuary...

Yup to Ikea challenge!

And I/we now have to go there by public transport....Apparantly there is a limit to how many and how big items one can carry in their hands and still be allowed a seat on the bus. I didn't think there would be so many others on the ride that day...Yes, that's why it's called public transport. Still annoying! :lol:

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TheEvaTree

And there's no-one else to blame if you have screws left over at the end (or run short before you've finished) :lol:

Exactly! :lol:

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TheEvaTree

Hello everybody!! Hope you are having a wonderful day/afternoon/night/moment :lol:

Few days ago An Aven user wrote this thread Online Meetup for those deployed overseas? So Jam Jam and I are organizing a online meet up for this Sunday (At 5 pm Uk) the schedule will be possible changed by the opinion of others user who would be wanting to attempt it. If anyone of you are interested let us to know so. Maybe the first try will be a total failure, and nobody show up, not even me :lol: (I can have a bad memory sometimes LOL) but... you never know! great things can happen when you keep trying and working on it.

For now we are planing to chat on http://tinychat.com/oldersaven key is: oldersaven :lol: It's not a great technology platform, but can be a start -_- Please be sure to pass on the message, so all the olders around can know :)

(By the way sorry for been so random and changing the topic like that lol)

Hello you all! The first " online meet up" attemp was done, and I want to thank those who was able and took their time to logging into and said hello. Some wrote me after, telling that they missed it, because they didn't knew :unsure: . Well it was planned quite fast, just to see if it would work. So next one would be in May 15 (at 18:00 UTC/GMT +1 hour London) if that's a good date for those who are interested in it. If you are not so sure about your time zone, then you may check it here: Date

We are planing to chat again in the same platform: http://tinychat.com/oldersaven (Password is: oldersaven), you don't need to install anything, nor loggin into any of your privated accounts ie email, fb, twitter. Also, the chat will be open all this days -but, as you may imagine it will be empty :P :lol:-

Please let me know if you are interested and if you are, be sure to pass on the message, so all the olders around can know. By the way, hope you are ready to broadcast! :o (Ok ok!! If you are shy, just text will be ok, don't run away).

- Thank you for organizing! It was so nice to chat with you...only wish more people would attend :cake:

I can be online May 15, and also much earlier than 18:00. Practically from around 10:00 am, London time.

:cake:

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Redbeard

And there's no-one else to blame if you have screws left over at the end (or run short before you've finished) :lol:

Exactly! :lol:

However, if the bookcase is slightly askew, there's also no one around to complain about my handiwork day after day, so I think that's a fair trade.

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