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For 30-somethings and those around that age


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bluedragonwings
3 hours ago, Snao Cone said:

Are you at guillotine-the-rich left yet? 

Not quite. Still planning the distribution post guillotine. When that’s sorted I’ll be ready. 

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CrazyCatLover
On 2/7/2020 at 4:57 AM, bluedragonwings said:

As I get older my patience gets shorter and my politics march left. 

Sounds just like me. 

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CrazyCatLover

I think last time I was on AVEN, I was posting in the 20s thread, and now I'm 31. I seem to stray for a couple of years and then come back. The rest of the forum seems to stay late-teens, early-20s though. I was talking about AVEN with my dad the other day. He was horrified to hear that his daughter qualified as an "older asexual." 

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Lord Jade Cross
On 1/21/2020 at 7:40 AM, AndrewT said:

 less tolerance for stupid people etc 😜

-Has had no tolerance for stupid people since 8-

 

So....how old am I? 😨

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bluedragonwings

As I look back on my 30s, I think it is for me the decade with most self-defining. Not necessarily discovery, but more categorizing things I know about myself. Not always good things, or even always helpful. But I guess knowing thyself is a benefit on its own.... maybe.

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I've certainly made some leaps and bounds in my 30s, and I wish a lot of those things came to me earlier so my 20s wouldn't seem like so much of a waste. 

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bluedragonwings

Oh that is definitely true. Sooner would have been a LOT better.

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the great acescape
On 2/7/2020 at 6:57 AM, bluedragonwings said:

As I get older my patience gets shorter and my politics march left. 

that's it that's my entire trajectory rn

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A conversation at lunch today with some colleagues from work:

 

Me: Where are you going next week again?

Coworker: Orlando!

Me: Right, Disneyworld! I went there a whole...27 years ago.

Intern: [wide-eyed] WAIT, HOW OLD ARE YOU?????

Me: Ah yes, you might not be familiar with that number yet...

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I guess it's time to start posting in this thread, since I turned 30 last fall. I still feel like I'm getting my feet off the ground, though, and not very well at that (although that's mostly career-wise instead of general-life-wise now, so some improvement).

 

On 2/7/2020 at 6:57 AM, bluedragonwings said:

As I get older my patience gets shorter and my politics march left. 

I never had any patience to begin with and there's nowhere left for my politics to go, so if anything I've gone slightly the opposite direction (which is to say that I'm now capable of being patient, and I've accepted that total anarchy isn't realistic and wouldn't end up how I imagined it anyhow).

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It is interesting comparing people entering their 30s with people leaving their 30s. I turn 40 this year, and I feel like I've entered a mid-life crisis stage, where I want to disrupt the life I've found myself in and find new pastures. I'm not a real fan of the 30s. They were a period of stagnation, not as exciting as the 20s and not as mature as I think the 40s will be.

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1 hour ago, Zagadka said:

It is interesting comparing people entering their 30s with people leaving their 30s. I turn 40 this year, and I feel like I've entered a mid-life crisis stage, where I want to disrupt the life I've found myself in and find new pastures. I'm not a real fan of the 30s. They were a period of stagnation, not as exciting as the 20s and not as mature as I think the 40s will be.

Mid-life crisis? I can relate... I just hope that it will not restart around my 50s.

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Currently contemplating whether my mid-life crisis at the age of 34 (four years ago) means that I won't live that long... 

 

… or whether it was a prelude crisis to a 'main event' when my 40s / 50s roll around. 

 

I kind of hope it's the first one. If the 'prelude crisis' cost me about £2000 and left me with nothing, what the heck is the big version going to be?! 

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the great acescape
On 2/15/2020 at 5:06 PM, Zagadka said:

It is interesting comparing people entering their 30s with people leaving their 30s. I turn 40 this year, and I feel like I've entered a mid-life crisis stage, where I want to disrupt the life I've found myself in and find new pastures. I'm not a real fan of the 30s. They were a period of stagnation, not as exciting as the 20s and not as mature as I think the 40s will be.

I spent my 20s in the closet and battling severe and recurring depression, and almost died twice because of it (3 times, I guess, if you count a car accident that I had no control over but that was equally traumatic), so I think at least in my particular case the 20s/30s are switching places. 

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Hello

I am turning 40 this year and I am kind of excited. I don't mind about getting older and each year I am learning more about myself. Grey A aromantic the last couple of years what else will I learn the next while it should be fun :)

 

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Good evening,

I've been chalked up as "in my thirties" by people in online communities since I've been 16/17, I feel as if I'm only growing into myself now that I'm to turn 34 this year. (Curiously, I still catch myself thinking when I've grown up, I'll do [...] a lot anyway, only to realise the next moment that mostly I can do xyz because I have a passport that says I can.)

I'm also still growing into my sexual identity - but at least I've found the right spectrum now.

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15 minutes ago, Greypan.da said:

Good evening,

I've been chalked up as "in my thirties" by people in online communities since I've been 16/17, I feel as if I'm only growing into myself now that I'm to turn 34 this year. (Curiously, I still catch myself thinking when I've grown up, I'll do [...] a lot anyway, only to realise the next moment that mostly I can do xyz because I have a passport that says I can.)

I'm also still growing into my sexual identity - but at least I've found the right spectrum now.

 

Age should not be the reason to stop growing/exploring. My grandma started to have a blast when she was 75, after being grumpy almost her entire life.

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My dad inspired me. She came out as trans in her 60s, and is still doing new things with her current wife. Age doesn't mean much.

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Age doesn't bother me at all usually. I do feel somewhat stupid for realising that my feelings about sexuality are significantly different from what most people seem to experience only now, though. But apart from that, I'm a happy part-time-adult from the 80s... and this site here has shown me already that it actually isn't completely uncommon to take a few decades to figure out you're (somewhere) on the ace spectrum. 😊

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3 hours ago, Zagadka said:

My dad inspired me. She came out as trans in her 60s, and is still doing new things with her current wife. Age doesn't mean much.

I had a friend in high school/university whose parents (late 40s/early 50s) divorced. His dad moved out. His mom was a stay-at-home caregiver as they had another son with a high level of autism. The mom struggled with her own mental health problems, and at some point the kids had to move in with the dad. About a year after that move, this friend told our smaller social circle that his dad was transitioning and was now a woman. A couple of years after that, his mom and dad had reconciled their differences and were back to living together to help care for their autistic son. Basically they each had to deal with their own shit to become their best selves, and then they were able to rebuild a very loving and supportive relationship. I don't know if they got back together in a romantic/sexual sense, but they definitely reformed as a family unit. It was very heartwarming to hear about.

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Hello, everyone! I finally figured out I was asexual right before I turned 31 last year. Glad to be here! There is not a big ace/aro community where I live, so I’m hoping to find my people here. 🍰🪐🐉

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31 minutes ago, leileilei said:

Hello, everyone! I finally figured out I was asexual right before I turned 31 last year. Glad to be here! There is not a big ace/aro community where I live, so I’m hoping to find my people here. 🍰🪐🐉

Welcome to the 30+ tread! 🍰

There may be more young ace folks on Reddit, Discord, Whatsapp, Meetup, Twitter and such but as an old maid I don't really have the habit of checking these out. Maybe Facebook from time to time? Fortunately AVEN has regional meetups ☺️.

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So a couple of weeks ago I was in class and we were looking at news clips from 1998 and I was just like "yup, I remember that...I remember that too." It was interesting. 

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4 hours ago, ben8884 said:

So a couple of weeks ago I was in class and we were looking at news clips from 1998 and I was just like "yup, I remember that...I remember that too." It was interesting. 

Man, it’s weird how much we retain, isn’t it?! I vividly remember the Super Smash Bros commercial for the N64, hahaha! 

 

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So, did any of you learn the term “asexual” later in life? I have always been asexual, but never had a term for it until I was 30, and it was a HUGE revelation for me. Looking back, I see how different my life would have been if I had learned what it was at a young age and that it wasn’t some inherent problem with me that I needed to “fix” by having a boyfriend and trying to be “normal” like everyone else. Has anyone else experienced something like this?

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(older ace poking his nose in)

 

If you look in some of the other threads, like the 50s and 60s threads and other threads in this sub-forum you will find a good few of us who didn't learn about asexuality until even later (40s, 50s, 60s, or more). Some of whom had gotten married, had kids, etc. Yeah, not uncommon, and a good reason for more visibility. :) 

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I learned of asexuality when I was around 24, but I didn't really start to understand it until I was 31, 32... and that's when I had my "wait a minute... that's me?" moment.

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I first heard the word "asexual" as a slur as a teen, I think. But I learnt what it actually means (and that it's a surprisingly accurate fit for me and explains so much in retrospect) within the last 6 months, so at 33.

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