Jimithy Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Lately I feel like maybe I'm just lying to myself when I insist I'm panromantic. I find romantic attractions to boys, girls, trans, etc. But whenever I consider what it would be like to pursue a relationship with anyone, I find the daydream ends there. I cannot, for the life of me, ever see myself in a relationship with anyone else. I long for a relationship (not in a desperate way, I just aim to find someone one day), but I can't seem to find anyone who I would be happy with. The relationship scenario is quite bleak in my mind's eye. And whenever I find someone who might have feelings for me, I get disinterested and try to push them away. Even if someone I have a crush on doesn't like me, I fear the thought of them ever reciprocating my feelings for them. So am I just lying to myself? Could I be aromantic asexual and just never have anyone whom I can comfortably love? I honestly don't think I could live that way... EDIT: I tend to overeact when I write topics late at night, I didn't mean to sound so whiny or offensive TT_TT Link to post Share on other sites
sirjustinian Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Lately I feel like maybe I'm just lying to myself when I insist I'm panromantic. I find romantic attractions to boys, girls, trans, etc. But whenever I consider what it would be like to pursue a relationship with anyone, I find the daydream ends there. I cannot, for the life of me, ever see myself in a relationship with anyone else. I long for a relationship (not in a desperate way, I just aim to find someone one day), but I can't seem to find anyone who I would be happy with. The relationship scenario is quite bleak in my mind's eye. And whenever I find someone who might have feelings for me, I get disinterested and try to push them away. Even if someone I have a crush on doesn't like me, I fear the thought of them ever reciprocating my feelings for them. So am I just lying to myself? Could I be aromantic asexual and just never have anyone whom I can comfortably love? I honestly don't think I could live that way... In the end, it is only your decision and how you feel that matters. So if you have good reason to think that you are aromantic, then you could be. It is difficult, I know, in knowing for sure, especially since we can purposefully set ourselves up for a lack of romance. You must search within yourself and decide if how you feel is aromantic, or if you have a psychological block. Psychologists sometimes know what they are talking about in these areas as well, but what matters is how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
NotAllHere Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I don't really get why you would be so upset about being aromantic, but if you ARE that worried about it, and about being alone,the chances are that you aren't aromantic. But, what do I know? Why don't you try pursuing a relationship once, and see how it works out. And even if you are aromantic, that doesn't mean alone- friendships and such, or animals. And I would hesitate to keep refering to it as a worst-case scenario, because some aromantics (I'm aromantic, but i don't mind) might take that personally. Just saying. I hope something works out for you. Link to post Share on other sites
corduroyjackalope Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 You're not alone. I daydream about being with someone, but I find I just want to want a romantic relationship. I'll think I'll want to hold hands just to find I accually don't like it at all. :( I even look at people thinking I would love to get to know them, but then realize that I wouldn't want to do anything but be with them. It's like having all that exitement over someone and not being able to do anything with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Jimithy Posted February 11, 2011 Author Share Posted February 11, 2011 I don't really get why you would be so upset about being aromantic, but if you ARE that worried about it, and about being alone,the chances are that you aren't aromantic. But, what do I know? Why don't you try pursuing a relationship once, and see how it works out. And even if you are aromantic, that doesn't mean alone- friendships and such, or animals. And I would hesitate to keep refering to it as a worst-case scenario, because some aromantics (I'm aromantic, but i don't mind) might take that personally. Just saying. I hope something works out for you. I didn't mean for it to sound so offensive, I'm terribly sorry about that. It just scares me when I think I might end up alone. I guess I get upset about it because I'm a bit of a "hopeless romantic" at times, but... maybe I'm just overeacting about it all. I didn't mean to offend anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
NotAllHere Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Oh, as far as I know, nobody was offended, but I was just warning you so that IN CASE SOMEONE WAS offended, you'd kinda understand why. Didn't mean anything by it! :( Link to post Share on other sites
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