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http://www.sgboy.com/articles/111004T01.php

A is for Asexuality
There are those that insist that it's all about sex. Here's a group to prove those people wrong.
Date: 10 Nov 2004
Writer: Fresnik Tan


To some, they would be the perfect partner. These people build their relationships almost completely upon their affections for another and you won't ever have to worry about them sleeping around with somebody else - because they wouldn't want to sleep with anyone in the first place. Let us welcome the newest orientation to join the public fray - the asexual.

"In a world where lust can be bought in a pill and skin is the marketing tool du jour, being David Jay cannot be easy. At the age of 22 he has never had sex. He has never experienced sexual attraction towards another person and does not believe it will ever happen.

There are many others who have similar stories to tell. They talk about growing up not being able to understand why everyone else seemed so interested in dating, kissing and touching; in experiencing the ritual of mating."

- New Scientist Print Edition, 14 October '04

It's only in recent times, with growing acceptance and education of varying sexual orientations, that the asexual has been able to come forward and begin making their presence felt in the society. Overseas, they are coming out to their family and friends, declaring their asexuality to be as valid an orientation as being straight or gay. Locally it's almost unheard of and some even consider it an urban legend, but little-publicised studies of rodents and sheep suggest that asexual behaviour in mammals is not so uncommon.
This August, a researcher in human sexuality also published the first tentative figures for the number of asexual people in the population, which suggested that there might be almost as many asexual people as there are gay individuals. In fact, in a study of sexual practices, published in 1994, that surveyed more than 18,000 people in the UK, a surprisingly high 1% of respondents had chosen the 'I am not sexually attracted to anyone at all' option - close to the rate for same-sex attraction, now believed to be running at about 3%.

Most of us would balk at this idea, especially when the gay culture seems to be heavily steeped in sexual tones. Some of us might even go tsk tsk and just think that the asexuals are a bunch of cowards who are afraid to come out of their closet, or are losers who just can't get laid. Jadedness aside, the whole process of discovering one's sexuality is such an integral focus of growing up that to not have it exist at all makes an asexual person seem less than a whole individual. If a doctor were to find out that a person has waning interest in sex, they would advise us to seek help from a therapist.

So unsurprisingly, convincing other people that you are not suffering from some sexual issue is one of the main obstacles an asexual individual has, on top of the shocked and pitying looks.
Similar to the gay community, society has imposed an equal, if not greater, pressure in keeping the asexuals in their own little closet. Elizabeth Abbot, Dean of Women at Trinity College, University of Toronto, Canada, comments, "They have to hide themselves because we are in a highly sexed society. Imagine someone who doesn't even want it and who isn't having a problem if they're not getting it." Indeed, the idea of seeing Brad Pitt all naked and glistening in Troy not turning anyone on does sound quite impossible.

To debunk the usual myths about someone who dares not confront their true sexual nature, there's a 40-year-old writer in Massachusetts, who has never had sex in her life, and she refers the concept of sex to algebra - she understands it but she doesn't like it much. As for the other rumour that they are sad people who just can't get laid, David Jay from St. Louis lays (pardon the pun) that to rest with his debonair, tall and slender stature, warm liquid eyes and the mouth of a 'Greek God'. He is living proof that it is absolutely wrong to assume asexuals shun sex simply because they can't get any.

Indeed "A" pride is attracting more attention and there's even a forum and online store called AVEN (for Asexual Visibility and Education Network at www.asexuality.org).

Ultimately, the world we live in was built big enough for everyone to share their affections with and most of us have the basic desire to find a "mate" with whom we can share interests and spend time with. Sex optional. ;)



http://www.able2know.com/forums/about25438.html (active)

http://www.geocities.com/harperjeantobin/Asexuality.htm

Trans Asexuality

I'm basically asexual. Sex is not and never has been important. I've never really felt sexually attracted to anyone, male or female. (MTF respondent in Bolin 1994:89-90)

Most patients state they would rather be lonely and frustrated than date during transition. (Brown & Rounsley 1996:140)

Transpeople have long been depicted as more or less asexual. The doctors treating Christine Jorgensen -- America's first famous transsexual -- found "the sexual requirements ... subordinate to the transvestic impulse," and therefore recommended removing her penis and resculpting her genital region for "a completely feminine appearance," without actually creating a clitoris or vagina (Hamburger, Stürup and Dahl-Iverson 1952, quoted in Meyerowitz 2002:61-2). One early clinical study even characterized transsexualism as "an escape from ... sexual impulses" (Worden and Marsh 1955, quoted in Meyerowitz 2002:108; the same conclusion is drawn in Pauly 1965, cited in Meyerowitz 2002:174). No surprise then that, according to historian Joanne Meyerowitz, transsexuals in the 1950s and since have been reticent to express any interest in sex to doctors.

Clinical researchers continued to insist that disinterest in sexuality was common and even characteristic of transsexuals. Harry Benjamin asserted that "Many transsexuals have no overt sex life at all, their sex drive being low to begin with and, in the case of MTFs, diminished sometimes to zero by estrogen" (1966:49). Lewins (1995) noted that "low sex drive" as considered a good "prognostic indicator" by clinicians and categorized over a fifth of his sample as "asexual," a label that, while described by Lewins himself as problematic, is used by at least some transsexuals to describe themselves (e.g. Taft 2001). A contemporary medical expert on transsexualism has this to say:

In fact, a high level of sexual performance, whether with a partner or in masturbation, raises a red flag as to whether the individual is truly a transsexual. While there are no absolutes, gender-dysphoric individuals with extremely high physical sex drives and/or who are extremely active masturbators rarely turn out to be transsexuals. (I have seen a few exceptions.) (Ramsey 1996:49)

Defining transsexuals as having a low sex drive is only logical from the clinical point of view. Before transitioning is complete, sexual engagement may be seen as a sign of accepting one's gendered body. Furthermore, since (clinical optimism notwithstanding) the physical processes of transitioning often have negative impacts on capacity for arousal and orgasm, and since, out transpeople have traditionally had trouble finding accepting partners, sexuality may be viewed as something that must be sacrificed in order to live in one's chosen gender. In this vein, Califia argues that "Too many transsexuals still feel that if they are 'allowed' to live in their gender of preference, they have won an enormous victory, and ought not to demand or expect anything more," namely sexual pleasure (1996:218). McCloskey puts a more positive spin on this in her autobiography: "losing the ability to have male sex [due to prolonged hormone use] did not seem much of a loss beside the joy of being" (McCloskey 1999:37). One study of personal advertisements showed that MTF transsexuals were more likely than gay men, straight men or straight women to be seeking friendship rather than sexual partners (Child et al 1996).

The transitioning process especially has been seen as an asexual period, a "cocoon" stage where the individual who is neither man nor woman avoids intimacy completely (Brown & Rounsely 1996, Lewins 1995, Bolin 1988, Devor 1997). For many it is as simple as this: "I abhorred the idea of a sexual relationship with a woman unless I was a man," or a woman as the case may be (Rees 1996:40). Even after transition is complete, however, many either do not succeed in finding satisfying relationships or consciously abstain, as in Lawrence's study of post-op women, wherein "only 4 of the 13 women reported having sex regularly, while three had given up on sex," to which she adds that "Neither of these results is particularly remarkable" (Lawrence 1997). It seems that as in Devor's study, there is a substantial group of transpeople who are not interested in or do not pursue sexual relations during transition, and a much smaller but distinct minority who choose long-term celibacy.



http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_..._41/ai_n6274004 (non active)

http://www.sciforums.com/showthread.php?t=39639 (active)

http://dustinthelight.timshelarts.com/lint/000994.html (active)

http://gamers.experimentations.org/forums/...?showtopic=3970

http://www.stupid-boy.com/forums/lofiversi...php/t15627.html (non active)

http://monkeyfilter.com/link.php/5230 (active)

Just doing a search engine search on asexuality, quite a few more articles and blogs etc, than their used to be, looks like visibility is picking up speed!





2013 Mod Edit: Adding active links and spoilered content for future references.

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Hey, thanks for the linkage...

And thank you, Cijay, for getting that whole A2K forum on our side! I agree with the mod over there, you'll definitely be an asset to them...

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Live R Perfect

Good to see that people are discussing us, even if a lot of them ARE gripping hold of the wrong end of the stick. At the very least, the fact they are discussing asexuality is a kind of acknowledgment that it might exist!

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fretful lettuce

Is it crass to reply to each of these pages? I have things I want to say. (I am autistic and unless I am told it is rude to reply, I will go on the war path, I will be subtle of course).

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fretful lettuce

Actually, now that I've read all that I just don't know what to say. Some people get it, some totally confuse the issue, and others just reject it out of hand. A lot of these opinions seem to be snap judgements without much thought behind them. How do you argue with that? :?

At least some people are open minded.

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Yick. That fifth one pisses me off. I hate hearing people talking about other people they haven't met and making judgements on what is and isn't possible with them. I guess our word just isn't good enough for some people.

Don't worry undecided....some girl will arouse you one day

Grrrr....

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VivreEstEsperer

The visibility is good...but the naysayers....I just think are best left ignored. That's what I do, anyway, for the most part.

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