Sexuals

[Asexy Existentialist]

Oh! Remembered a #3: I was administering a back rub and she told me not to get too excited, because she could already hear my "sex breathing." Umm...wow. I wasn't aware I had such a thing. Now, I am careful to pay attention to my BREATHING if we're doing anything romantic. Massages, cuddling, etc. Imagine that for a moment. Imagine having to monitor your own breathing simply so your loved one doesn't consider you a perverted sex maniac. It makes ANY sort of physical intimacy daunting to say the least.

That 'tip-toe' feeling is almost exactly how I feel when I'm dating someone whose sexual who keeps wanting to have sex long before I'm ready in the relationship, since it seems like that stuff always leads to them trying to start things...and not always *asking* before hand. <_< It really is a sucky feeling to have, and I'm sorry that you have to go through it.

I do think that browsing through AVEN and listening to different POVs have helped me realize what is hurtful and what isn't, so perhaps encourage your wife to do the same? She could learn about herself as well.

Do you think that part of being asexual can be, at least initially, an unwillingness to explore your own Ace-ness? Or is that something else?

Maybe - but I don't think that's something that could really be chalked up to being specifically *asexual* since I've heard of this happening with other orientations as well.

* Responding to touch as if that touch is the most repulsive thing in the world. It's hard to describe, but it's a combination of "get that gross thing off me" body language and a disgusted grimace;

I've actually done this one accidentally. I'm a really light sleeper, and while I'm okay with intimate touch (from my romantic partner), I like to have some sort of warning first. My ex thought it would be a romantic/sexy way to wake me up if she started to fondle me in my sleep. I jumped like she'd dropped a hot frying pan on me! Then I felt bad because it must have seemed to her like her touch was repulsive, when really it was just startling.

Ugh, I've never understood why anyone would want to be woken up like that -asexual or sexual. Idk...it just seems kinda...creepy to me.

It seems... really creepy. And invasive. And nonconsensual. I mean, even if I slept in the same bed with someone every night, and did sexual things with them, it's going to be startling to wake up to the possibility that I'm being violated and I don't know for sure whose hand is committing the act. And I like to wake up on my own terms anyway, so something that startling would probably make me hate said hypothetical person for quite a while. Just... eugh. For the original topic of being repulsed by touch: yeah, I find sex repulsive. So if I think that's what the touch is for, I'm going to be repulsed. It really is a matter of "get that gross thing off me." Sorry to be blunt, but it's the truth.

[Tunes]

Depends on how old you are (and maybe what country you're from). We're talking late 80's/early 90's USA television here when you bring up the Doublemint Twins.

Edit: here, give this a try. Incoming nostalgia bomb!

Thanks! ^_^ Well, that explains why I missed it - I was born in '90! lol.

I also get a lot of pleasure from seeing someone attracted to me, and aroused, and giving them pleasure,

This, I understand! ^_^ Very well. Thank you bunches for sharing!

@ Hpets - I'm really glad it helped! ^_^ Thanks for sharing.

[BlackRose]

Depends on how old you are (and maybe what country you're from). We're talking late 80's/early 90's USA television here when you bring up the Doublemint Twins.

Thanks! ^_^ Well, that explains why I missed it - I was born in '90! lol.

Wikipedia on 'Doublemint' says there are new sets of Doublemint twins now: I never watch TV so I can't tell you how common the commercials are though I haven't seen one in a while.

[Tunes]

I rarely watch TV myself. I swear, I only have one for video games and movies. lol. But I usually wind up catching commercials one way or another.