nleseul Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 I was just discussing the "Five Love Languages" of Gary Chapman with a friend, and wondered about the statistics among the AVEN population. Surprisingly, I don't see a poll on the topic on the census forum. So, here's one. Here's a link to the official test from the author's site, with shiny Flash graphics. There are plenty of others online if you don't like that one. Chapman's presentation of the idea is pretty heteronormative and gender-binaried sometimes, but I think the test itself and its terminology are pretty useful even for people who don't fit the norms. (I recently went to a Five Love Languages workshop at a BDSM dungeon, attended by lots of polyamorous and LGBT people. They still loved the idea.) For people here who aren't in relationships or aren't interested in relationships, the version "for singles" in the link above doesn't seem especially alienating. A lot of people seem to have multiple high-scoring languages, or to have different high scores depending on what version of the test they take, so I left the option open to select more than one primary language. Hopefully it'll still give useful results. Link to post Share on other sites
Preskom Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Well...I personally don't like it, at all. First of all I felt like there was no right choice, ever. And examples overly repetitive. Second of all I did the husband AND the wife...and it's sexist! The guy has the choice "I like when my wife does my laundry" and the wife has "I appreciate when my husband helps me do the laundry" and every other choices regarding chores are structured like that... anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Stormy Wether Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 I couldn't finish it. Going by those questions, I can't accept any kind of love. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyL Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 I chose Acts of Service. I think that this book was pretty good. The basic idea of everyone responding to a different type of "language" makes sense. We are made up of all the choices, but it definitely is apparent which love language is the primary. I recommend this book. Link to post Share on other sites
nleseul Posted January 6, 2011 Author Share Posted January 6, 2011 I couldn't finish it. Going by those questions, I can't accept any kind of love. I'll add a choice for that! :D Link to post Share on other sites
Zeteses Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 I got quality time (which is exactly what I expected going in ) Though I've recently realized that I'm not as adversed to touch as I used to think, and that someone hugging me while i'm upset is actually really comforting.. Link to post Share on other sites
Nemisor Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 I got quality time, even though for most of the questions I just had to choose between two bad options. >.> I got no points for Receiving Gifts and I think it's more true than the highest score. I hate getting gifts, especially for no reason. Link to post Share on other sites
annwyl_cariad Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I overwhelmingly got "Physical Touch," which I basically expected. I'm an extremely affectionate person...which kind of confuses people as to how I can be asexual and still be such a cuddleslut, haha. The next highest was Quality Time, which I also kind of expected. I love being with with my friends and family and I just feel so happy after I've spent time with them. As far as the heteronormativity/sexism, I only took the singles version of the love language test but it seemed pretty straightforward and non-gender-specific to me. It did kinda piss me off that they had separate tests for husbands and wives though. And the apology language test had one question that referred to something a fellow church member did, which threw me off. I thought, why would you have to bring religion into it? The question would have worked equally well if they substituted a business associate for a fellow church member. Then I noticed that at the bottom of the website it says the publisher is Moody. As in, Moody Bible Institute, which doesn't allow its students to kiss in public or attend comedy clubs. So perhaps I should find the heteronormativity/sexism less surprising. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Hayley Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Quality Time, for me. I do enjoy spending a lot of time with my partner. We go most places together. I didn't like how sexist the questions for "wife" were - do I like it when my other half helps with the housework? The only reason I do most of it now is cause I'm on maternity leave, it's normally his job! Link to post Share on other sites
Member33070 Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Mine were Quality Time (11) and Acts of Service (7) "Quality Time In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful." Link to post Share on other sites
Alan Degas Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I got definitely scored highest on "Words of Affirmation" (11 points). Which is very, very true. Second highest score, was a close tie between "Quality Time" (8 points) and "Physical Touch" (7 points) I scored 0 on "Receiving Gifts" Dunno if that's totally accurate though. I do love it when my husband gives me gifts (and he's very good at picking the right things) and I do most certainly value them. But I suppose it's true that I don't want, or expect, random gifts to show that he loves me... but if he didn't get me anything for Christmas or so, that would be disappointing indeed! ...Last Christmas he got me a Wii! :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
------ Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Quality Time was my main one. The questions were really really stupid. They were far too simple. I know online tests generally are but this one was... more simple than previous ones I've done. I think I have an aversion for gifts now after their continuous questioning as to whether or not I like receiving gifts. Link to post Share on other sites
Exdraghunt Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I got quality time as well. It's definately true, there's no better way to spend a day for me than to be hanging out with my (rather small) group of friends. Unsurprisingly, I scored very low in physical touch and gifts. Link to post Share on other sites
herpaderderderderder Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 I got Quality Time. Makes sense to me because I enjoy spending time with the people I care about. :) Link to post Share on other sites
mindsword Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Technically I completed it with Words of Affermation. However, I should note that I had to stop and think about which option I liked the least for many of them. I suspect that this through the test somewhat (although words of affermation are sorta key for me.) Link to post Share on other sites
Shaded Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 6 Words of Affirmation 8 Quality Time 2 Receiving Gifts 5 Acts of Service 9 Physical Touch It fits me well I think Link to post Share on other sites
ily Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I don't think I need to take the quiz to know I'd get "quality time". Link to post Share on other sites
Squick Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Quality time. I got a 1 for touch, and I'm surprised it was that high. :-D Link to post Share on other sites
Moon Thief Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 Quality time. Link to post Share on other sites
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