Miss Perfect Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 Hi, I'm sixteen years old and I was wondering what type of asexual I am. Ever since I was little I felt an admiration to both sexes. I've only been in 3 relationships (one girl & two guys). This is mostly because whenever they kissed me I felt repulsed, disgusted, and dirty. I tried to be sexual (touching) to please my boyfriend, but I just felt gross and felt no sexual excitement when he touched me. I also would avoid my boyfriends and always break plans with them because I didn't want to see them. I also don't understand what people find attractive in a person. I feel really left out and confused when my friends discuss guys because I don't understand attractiveness or why they obsess over them... I've only had 3 crushes in my entire life and none of them were sexual (and I dated only one of them). It weirds me out that my friends hook up with people because it just grosses me out. I don't understand why you'd actually want some guy's penis (or girl's vagina). Any type of sex (oral, etc.) is disgusting and I could never imagine myself doing it. I do love cuddling and hugs though. Naked people repulse me. It even repulses me when men take off their shirts (I'm used to women, since I'm female lol :P). I personally just don't understand what is so appealing about sexual relationships. I'd rather have friendships rather than relationships, but I still want an emotional relationship. I do get urges to be around certain guys a lot though, but I just want to be nice/talk to them; I don't ever have any sexual intentions. I just want to be their really good friend. I also hate it because men/guys find me really attractive and hit on me and flirt and talk to me and it really creeps me out. However, I can/do talk about sex openly, but I can't help but burst out laughing in order to not feel repulsed. What would you classify me as...? Thank you (: Link to post Share on other sites
Nemisor Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 Only you can define yourself. :) But to me you sound like a biromantic asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
G-Max Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 Sounds more like aromantic asexual to me. Admiration is not the same as attraction. However, this section needs clarification: I've only had 3 crushes in my entire life What combination of males/females were these three people? Link to post Share on other sites
practicallypoetic Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 biromantic asexual. have some Link to post Share on other sites
Mad Hatter Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 If you felt romantic attraction to your girlfriend and boy friends then you are a bi-romantic asexual. The fact that you feel "repulsed" by anything sexual/physical to me sounds like you are also a repulsed asexual. Though in the end, only you can define what/who you are. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Preskom Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 This is not really related, but... why did you go out with 2 people you did not have a crush on? There is indeed romantic people who do not like kissing-cuddling the love of their lives(here we call that being repulsed, seems pejorative but it's not), but doing that with someone you don't love can be repulsive to a vast majority of people, romantic and sexuals alike... Link to post Share on other sites
G-Max Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 pregorative I think you mean "pejorative"... Link to post Share on other sites
Preskom Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 pregorativeI think you mean "pejorative"...yes, I did mean that, and I changed it, for people like you who seem confused by spelling errors. :P :D Link to post Share on other sites
G-Max Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 It's still misspelled. Link to post Share on other sites
Preskom Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 It's still misspelled. It was I am a huge fan of Gimpy, but you are now my sworn enemy! ..... ;) Link to post Share on other sites
G-Max Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 By the way, is that really you in your avatar? Link to post Share on other sites
Gho St Ory Qwan Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 By the way, is that really you in your avatar? it's an awesome picture isn't it? I always think so. ^_^ You sound like a bi-romantic/bi-affectionate asexual. Whether you're romantic or not you will know; it can't be guessed by actions so we can't tell you that. Whatever you are you're welcome here, so read around and you'll probably see some definitions that fit you over time. =] Link to post Share on other sites
OtherWise Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 Just to confuse you further, I have to say that I find it more helpful not to categorise oneself that minutely. It might help you when it comes to explaining yourself to people in as few words as possible, but that depends entirely on them understanding what something like 'romantic asexual' means, and if not then you are left with the task of explaining that when simply 'I basically don't fancy either sex much' might do. It's also worth remembering that even in an environment such as this everybody is going to be unique and quirky, and somebody who describes themselves in exactly the same terminology as you eventually choose may have different wants and preferences. Labels can only tell you so much, and in my experience they often bewilder people more than they enlighten. Link to post Share on other sites
Shlomit Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 I just want you to know that it's perfectly okay for you to feel the way you do about sex, touch or relationships. I personally very much understand why you dated people who you didn't feel any attraction to, because I went out with one guy that I didn't have any feelings for him. I dated him to make myself feel more normal and assimilated with my friends who were dating people regularly. I just dated to make myself feel better, that's all. It took me quite a long time, many years, before I got to the point where nobody was pointing a gun to my head telling me that I had to date to find somebody and if s/he wanted sex then I had to. No, look around you, there's no gun anywhere. It took me a long time to realize that, and now I feel more free to do what I feel and am comfortable with doing in regard to relationships with people. Link to post Share on other sites
brontide Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 This is not really related, but... why did you go out with 2 people you did not have a crush on? There is indeed romantic people who do not like kissing-cuddling the love of their lives(here we call that being repulsed, seems pejorative but it's not), but doing that with someone you don't love can be repulsive to a vast majority of people, romantic and sexuals alike... I don't know if this is relevant to the original poster but I'd like to offer a reason why. When I first started dating, it was driven mostly out of a desire to appear normal (as well as wanting some companionship, maybe). Because I didn't get sexually attracted to people - and I rarely get romantically attracted either, although I didn't know the difference at the time since I didn't find out about asexuality until I was 18 (so prior to that, romantic/sexual attraction were the same thing, and something that I didn't experience, if that makes sense) - I didn't really know how people chose their dating partners. I would pick people based on similar age, location and shared interests - nothing else, really. I think I now know what it's like to be romantically (although not sexually) attracted to someone - although, actually, I didn't want to kiss those people either - and I wouldn't date anyone in whom I wasn't at least a little bit romantically interested, but during my first spate of dating I was really just testing the waters and trying to figure out what the big deal was, and whether I would magically come to enjoy everything about it like everyone else seemed to. Link to post Share on other sites
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