Grey Romantic?

[DancingDragon]

So, I don't seem to see too much said about what I would call grey-romantic, which I think I am. Would that be what you would call someone who is not aromantic but does not experience romantic attraction often? I didn't see any posts or info specifically about this, please point me in the right direction if some exist. Otherwise, any thoughts about this?

[dooomninja]

i think everyone here should understand if you uses grey romantic and it’s as legitimate as gray-A as romanticism has the same areas as sexuality. :)

[***]

I think it's just a matter of what label you prefer to use. You might want to look into demiromanticism, because there are some discussions on AVEN about that. I consider myself demiromantic and I suspect there are some similarities between what you're describing as grey-romantic and demiromantics.

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

I probably fit the description. I'm never sure. I feel what I consider attraction, but it's not hugely romantic, it's like a best friend fondness and desire to be around them and be close like a mate. I don't think that's hugely romantic or even at all in many senses.

I'd think demi-romantic would be normal though so I hesitate to use the label. I mean people who are attracted to others most the time strike me as a bit too prone too infatuation...

There's nothing wrong with using the label if you feel it necessary, but I assume the majority of humans are supposed to be what would be considered here as demi-romantic and also demi-sexual. I guess how I've been brought up has implied that. So far, with my teen/young adult peers; this seems the minority. And even films seem to imply it's not the case. but still, in my head I think a normal, average, well adjusted adult was typically that. It strikes me as unusual to think otherwise lol I suppose that's why I think pretty much everyone is so strange. XD

Once I realised I was much less romantic than I thought I was, I relaxed so much more. X3

I agree it'd be good to get this more noticed, other people might not feel so weird about not being hugely romantic and such. ^_^

[Glyn]

I've always had some confusion about this area myself. I for one have fallen in love but had no desire to have a romantic relationship. As a result, I've never had a girlfriend.

Does this make me a Grey-Aromantic? Reading the boards themselves, there seem to be two definations of what an aromantic is floating around the boards - one being someone who lacks the desire for any romantic relationship, the other being someone who doesn't experiance any romantic attraction to anyone. According to the first defination, I'm aromantic, yet according to the second definition, I'm not!

I'm sorry, Dancing Draon, for not helping matters! I guess I am just as confused as the next person sometimes!

[DancingDragon]

I think I'm just trying to clarify the difference between demi-romantic and grey-romantic, if there is one.

To my understanding, demi-romantic is romantic attraction only when you get to know someone really well. And from what I've read about what defines "grey area", I would assume that grey-romantic would mean someone who does experience romantic attraction (whether it be for someone you know well or just recently met), only not very often. A picky romantic maybe? Does that distinction make sense? I'm sure you can be a little of both too. Maybe I'm overthinking it...lol

I have never been in love but I have had some romantic feelings for one of the guys I 'dated', but not really the others. And I really don't have a huge interest in looking for someone to be with, but I wouldn't mind being in a relationship if the right person came along.

[The Crazy Cat Lady]

Hmm... I thought a gray-A/grey-A was this.

I consider myself to a gray-A lesbian or maybe a demisexual lesbian.

[ily]

I guess I could be considered "grayromantic", but I don't call myself that, just because it seems like label overload for me. I tend to say I don't have a romantic orientation, mostly because to me, the romantic/aromantic distinction isn't very intuitive. I would agree with your demi/gray distinction. Out of the people I've been romantically attracted to (total of 4 or 5), I didn't know any of them that well. Yeah, I don't know of any information about the concept-- in the asexual world, if you want information, you have to produce it yourself. ;) Anyway, feel free to PM me if you want to talk more about this stuff.

[EasyGoing]

I'm demi-romantic, in the sense that I'm sometimes slightly attracted after having known of someone for a long time. Someone who has been an acquaintance of mine for some time (usually more than a year) is sometimes romantically attractive. We don't need to be close friends; in fact, I've felt vaguely attracted to girls I only meet rarely, but say hello to or talk for a few minutes sometimes. This attraction begins after at least several months of knowing each other. If I needed a signpost, I'd say demi-heteroromantic. I usually just tell people I'm asexual, and explain more if they ask.

[vrazda verlaine]

I guess I could be considered "grayromantic", but I don't call myself that, just because it seems like label overload for me. I tend to say I don't have a romantic orientation, mostly because to me, the romantic/aromantic distinction isn't very intuitive.

All of this applies to me. I'm basically aromantic, but I may experience some feelings that are similar to but not quite romantic attraction.

[Palovana]

I identify as grey-romantic. I do experience romantic attraction but it is very uncommon, and is usually only toward a very specific type of person. And the attraction isn't so much what other people would call romantic. It's more...highly emotionally and physically intimate without the sexual part. I hate "traditional" romantic stuff like going on dates and gazing into each others' eyes and shit like that, but I desire...to some extent...a relationship with someone who I trust more than anyone and who wants to care for me, and who trusts me and wants me to care for them in return. The difference to me between this kind of relationship and an intense platonic one is, well, there would be physical closeness that I don't think platonic relationships could offer, and the attraction is different...the emotions are more tender and there is a certain level of vulnerability.

[Hikari Akai]

This is an interesting concept, and might possibly apply to me. I've been wondering myself if I'm really a panromantic who's currently just not interested in a relationship, but maybe this applies better...

AGH! So confusing! Sexuality, romance, attraction, all of it! I love it <3

[Shlomit]

Yeah I think the term "grey-romantic" would apply for me, that's for sure.

I only feel attracted to people who have a certain level of connection and depth of the relationship itself. Regardless of who it is. I have fallen in love with someone once romantically, but it was more of a feeling that I had to fall in love with him because he was attractive and we connected well as friends. Like maintaining the "sexual status-quo" of sorts. But that is very rare in itself, and most of the time it only happens in friendships and not of a romantic nature for me.

[GirlDreamer]

I don't think I've ever considered this option before, but maybe this is a label that could fit me... I've considered myself aromantic since I joined AVEN, but I have to admit I haven't been so sure lately... Oh the confusion!