Do you fit the description of Avoidant personality disorder?

[Astryda]

I have been surfing around the internet and found some info on Avoidant personality disorder. I'm just curious, if anyone here fits the description (I'm not asking if you have been diagnosed with such a thing, but if you yourself think it might be your case). Mind you, it's about irl social interactions.

Avoidant personality disorder (AvPD)(or anxious personality disorder) is a personality disorder recognized in the DSM-IV TR handbook in a person over the age of eighteen years as characterized by a pervasive pattern of social inhibition' date=' feelings of inadequacy, extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation, and avoidance of social interaction.[/b']

People with AvPD often consider themselves to be socially inept or personally unappealing, and avoid social interaction for fear of being ridiculed, humiliated, rejected, or disliked.

AvPD is usually first noticed in early adulthood, and is associated with perceived or actual rejection by parents or peers during childhood. Whether the feeling of rejection is due to the extreme interpersonal monitoring attributed to people with the disorder is still disputed.

[bydefault]

I knew I had AvPD before realizing that I was ace. I am extremely avoidant to the point that it's embarrassing to admit countless missed opportunities in my life simply because I did not want to draw attention to myself. Also, I don't really know to what extent AvPD affects my asexuality as I am heteromantic and somewhat grey-A. As to the cause of AvPD in my life, it was not rejection by my parents since they have always shown me nothing but kindness and acceptance. It must have been rejection by my peers as a child but this was a mutual process as I was always more inclined toward academic pursuits (to an extreme) and my classmates were not. During breaks, while everyone else was off playing, I'd usually stay behind and read. Such studiousness paid off in that by the fourth grade I was the school's spelling bee champ defeating even the eighth graders. Normally, the school champ would then compete against other schools but I declined to go as I did not want to draw so much attention to myself. I never wanted anyone to think that I was superior to them in any way. This continued to be the pattern in my life, where I would do my best to avoid moments of recognition. There was a lack of socialization as well as I found it difficult to relate with others. When greeting others I would basically go through the motions, hoping that I would not commit some sort of faux pas, and hoping that our exchange would be brief. What was strange was that I did feel a certain loneliness in my life but I struggled for an answer considering how morbidly shy I was. It wasn't until I discovered the Avoidant group on Yahoo that I realized that there were others struggling with the same condition and that there might be a way to address this disorder.

[Wineblood]

social inhibition yes

feelings of inadequacy no

extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation no

avoidance of social interaction yes

I think I looked at AvPD a few years ago and thought it didn't fit me at all. It seems to be people who want to be social but are afraid of it and therefore feel down.

[vrazda verlaine]

Eh, somewhat. I'm very suspicious I have a different one, though.

I was asking around about personality disorders recently, and as far as I was told, a personality disorder is kind of a last resort diagnosis. Most people can look at a list of personality disorders and find one that they can immediately relate to, but they are only diagnosed in extreme cases and when there's no other clear reason. Just saying, in case anyone is skeptical about them being considered disorders.

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

You know I have to do a test to determine the probability of my characteristics matching this as it changes for me a lot. It's possible. however the questions are always too simplistic. Like 'are you uninterested in others feelings?'. Of course it's not just yes or no. I'm uninterested in their sexual feelings, or of their feelings about what I look like. But I care about their opinions of me enough to want to know if my clothes are appropriate, although I don't care if they're to their taste. I like to know if they like me or not, but I don't care much once I know. i just like to know I hang around people who appreciate it. So what the hell am I supposed to pick?

It's like when my Uni mentor asks me how I'm feeling on a scale of 1-10; 10 being the best. Well who ever can say they feel the best? I've been sort of hypo-manic and that's the best I've felt but there's no way of knowing that's the best I can feel so I have to put that at 9 which means if I'm feeling normal I'd have to pick 4 because picking 5 would imply 10 was something I'm sure of reached and I can't be sure of that. In that case 4 looks like its low. But what if I feel nothing? If it's not bothering me is it still 4 or should it be 9 but a different kind of 9?! Ughhh!

I think too much. I hate these things. I'll answer the poll depending on whether this test tells me I'm moderate or higher.

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

OK I finally managed and I got moderate. but to add the results may be skewered, I'm not socially anxious normally. Generally I just think of every single possible outcome in any given situation and a lot can be negative so I can expect people to do wrong in many ways. SO I might stop them from getting too close. But I still am generally socially the noisiest person around and most seemingly easy going sometimes.

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

Sorry for the continuing posts. >.<

I don't think it is a disorder if it is based on comparing people and taking the average as the ideal. But some of the symptoms can be disruptive to life and then it could be considered disorderly. Ultimately it's up to the individual to consider whether it is or isn't a disorder.

For me I am just pretty good at over-thinking. I believe I made that evident in the earlier posts. -.-' Mines not a disorder. it's a good quality even if it has draw backs. I'd rather be like this than to have no ability to consider the many possible scenarios. I guess that's because it consumes most of my thoughts so it's a lot of my thinking. If I didn't think about that what would I do? Think about sex? haha

Some people would find such thoughts maddening I imagine so for them it'd be a disorder. But while we may have the same 'symptoms' the way the react to it would be worse than with me so people would not look at us both and think we both had the same 'disorder' in probability. If you feel it were a problem then it is one. but sometimes people suggest that's how you create problems. And just seeing it differently stops it from being a problem. I'm exploring that idea and I suppose it is true to an extent. If you didn't see if as a problem maybe when in a social situation you'd be able to just think, 'hey it doesn't suit me, like it doesn't suit that loud mouth sociable person to sit in an exam. no worries.' Then maybe you'd not feel socially inept but more like you have a gift somewhere else so that's why you lack that. Seeing it as an equivalent trade for another quality of yours you like might make you less anxious about it. I know I'm rambling so I'm gonna shut up now. I hope I'm making sense.

BTW this isn't particularly aimed at anyone as I've yet to read the comments. Just a basic, on-topic, mental diarrhoea. >.<

[Larien]

I'd say I fit that description most of the time, but who's keeping score, anyway? ;)

[Ase of Spades]

I fit pretty much every symptom except "extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation," since I wouldn't consider my sensitivity 'extreme'. However, I wouldn't really say I have this; I think my social problems are more akin to Social Anxiety Disorder (Which I believe has a lot of the same symptoms as this, if I'm not mistaken, and it seems to run in my family if my mother's any indication). Besides, I'd really rather not add another disorder to the list of things wrong with me. -_-

[ily]

I have some symptoms of this, but I'm diagnosed with clinical depression and some of the symptoms overlap. I'm also not sure how avoidant personality disorder is different from social anxiety?

[Cakey]

No, not at all, but I do find it easy to deal with people who can be extremely quiet. I have a non-Avenite sexual friend, and my loud out-going demeanour, compliments their, more withdrawn manner. It is amazing, this particular person is so quiet when we are out, but the wonderful gems of information and different/alternative spins on life, spill forth abundantly, when we get back. Their weakness in this area, means they may have to solve a problem differently, to how, us more forthright and vocally assertive people would solve it.

When my friend goes out, there is some conversation, but the communication channels only truly open when everyone is back at the house. I will easily sit for hours, listening to their problems and how these problems manifest themselves in a such a different way to my own experiences. One example is, I would be able to deal with a lot of problems in real time, they have to get back home, gather their thoughts and then devise a solution. Their shopping complaints tend to wait until they get back and are able to use the phone.

I do know this, throughout life, it is important to have good, positive people around you. You can draw huge strength from their, encouraging, positive and supportive attitudes. That sweet feeling of being wanted, is one of the best medications available:)

If you feel people are really for you, life's obstacles become easier to negotiate and anxiety levels are lower

I have only come across this problem recently, the last 3 years (when i met my friend).

Whilst the non-sufferers are free to be apart of everything, without having to think, plan or be dragged down constantly by feeling of inadequacy. The sufferer may take a lesser part in social interactions, which will probably affect their ability to form friendships, thus having a weaker support network, so adding to the problems they face.

I read an article recently about a young child, who stops talking completely when she goes out the front door, speech returns when she gets back home. It really surprised me, that anxiety could control speaking ability, to such a level. :)

[Face]

Yep. This fits me all too well

I've always just thought of it as social anxiety but this struck such a nerve I even avoided answering for a day.

So long as I'm in rational, professional situations it's not a huge problem but does once strangers are involved. I've mentioned elsewhere about what could be called a sense of inadequacy but don't think of it like that consciously.

I wonder how I come across as I often have to manipulate a situation in order to get myself to where it would be easier for most people to control themselves and ask of others. Sometimes at great expense.

I spent years trying to figure out what to blame. I mostly blamed a former friend who turned nearly all my friends on me at school since before that I was the loudest kid around and attracted bullies, sometimes deliberately but was never affected by it.

My Dad had a temper and would always ask more questions about something until he got to something I just didn't want to tell him and then get mad. I know that affected my sister a lot so thought that might be part of it.

Then came the revelation that everyone else was sexual and that I wasn't. That made me wonder about hormones being part of it or at least an enabler that makes it easier to manage without many relationships. Now my mum has increasingly severe generalised anxiety so now it looks like I have a genetic tendency too.

I seen to have been hit by a quadruple whammy so I'm lucky to have a good career and pretty varied life. I've been totally saved by computers.

[Jazmin]

Hey, that's really interesting Veisha, since I was almost going to make a topic like this myself asking avenites the same question. I stumbled across the definition for AvPD some months ago and I realised that although I've never been clinically diagnosed, I think I have some avoidant characteristics for sure. Maybe not enough in severity to be considered a disorder, but anyhow I have always felt a bit different and less social than most of the people I know. Over the past three years I gradually noticed that I do sometimes tend to avoid people, especially those I don't know well, by doing things like avoiding eye contact or avoiding opportunities to say 'hi' and declining invitations to events where I didn't know a lot of people. To most people, it probably looks like I'm being snobby or unfriendly...but in reality it's because I feel really anxious or shy or am afraid that I'll annoy people by approaching them because somehow I feel inadequate or socially inept compared to them. Ever since I realised that I do these things, I have been trying to change the way I act and think, but it is proving harder than I thought it would be. Not sure if in my case being avoidant is related to my being ace or not.

[Samael]

Erm, it seems there's a disorder for everything these days...

But yeah, not really, yet maybe there is a personality disorder for the people who don't care what other people think of them? I would fit that one :D

I suppose some symptoms could be selfishness, determination, feelings of self-entitlement and no sensitivity to criticism.

Hmm?

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

Erm, it seems there's a disorder for everything these days...

But yeah, not really, yet maybe there is a personality disorder for the people who don't care what other people think of them? I would fit that one :D

I suppose some symptoms could be selfishness, determination, feelings of self-entitlement and no sensitivity to criticism.

Hmm?

No because it doesn't negatively effect your life. Your quality of life is comparably better than others with indifference to their opinions. If it were a disorder I'd have it too; but I think we both know its a gift. *insert smug face here*

X3

[Samael]

Erm, it seems there's a disorder for everything these days...

But yeah, not really, yet maybe there is a personality disorder for the people who don't care what other people think of them? I would fit that one :D

I suppose some symptoms could be selfishness, determination, feelings of self-entitlement and no sensitivity to criticism.

Hmm?

No because it doesn't negatively effect your life. Your quality of life is comparably better than others with indifference to their opinions. If it were a disorder I'd have it too; but I think we both know its a gift. *insert smug face here*

X3

Mmmm, I'm not sure about the "gift" part. It's claimed that we humans are social animals. With this premise in mind, how succesful do you think you are going to be in a social climate if you aren't considerate of others? :)

I've learned it the hard way to respect others no matter what, even if I didn't give two hoots about them personally ;)

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

Erm, it seems there's a disorder for everything these days...

But yeah, not really, yet maybe there is a personality disorder for the people who don't care what other people think of them? I would fit that one :D

I suppose some symptoms could be selfishness, determination, feelings of self-entitlement and no sensitivity to criticism.

Hmm?

No because it doesn't negatively effect your life. Your quality of life is comparably better than others with indifference to their opinions. If it were a disorder I'd have it too; but I think we both know its a gift. *insert smug face here*

X3

Mmmm, I'm not sure about the "gift" part. It's claimed that we humans are social animals. With this premise in mind, how succesful do you think you are going to be in a social climate if you aren't considerate of others? :)

I've learned it the hard way to respect others no matter what, even if I didn't give two hoots about them personally ;)

I care about people and consider what they may think of me but I'm not particularly bothered either way.

I don't respond to criticisms besides taking it to better myself and don't respond to compliments either. I don't think it makes any problems for me other than the awkward 'um ok cheers' after a compliment.

I'm fine socially, generally. I just don't care if a person likes or dislikes me or thinks I'm attractive or hideous. lol I'm much more bothered about whether they're lying to me. ^_^

Is super-power more appropriate? X)

[Emraell]

General diagnostic criteria for a Personality Disorder

1. An enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from
   the expectations of the individual's culture. This pattern is manifested in two (or
   more) of the following areas:
   
   • (1) cognition (i.e., ways of perceiving and interpreting self, other people, and events)
     
   • (2) affectivity (i.e., the range, intensity, lability, and appropriateness of emotional response)
     
   • (3) interpersonal functioning
     
   • (4) impulse control
     

[*]The enduring pattern is inflexible and pervasive across a broad range of personal and

social situations.

[*]The enduring pattern leads to clinically significant distress or impairment in social,

occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

[*]The pattern is stable and of long duration, and its onset can be traced back at least

to adolescence or early adulthood.

[*]The enduring pattern is not better accounted for as a manifestation or consequence

of another mental disorder.

[*]The enduring pattern is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance

(e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., head trauma).

Please draw your attention to the bolded text. Unless you experience distress or feel that being whatever you are impairs you, you do not fit the description of any personality disorder.

Yes, I am lame and posses a copy of the DSM-IV.

[KAGU143]

Curious.

The way I read it, the word "or" instead of "and" would indicate that impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning is a symptom, whether or not it is coupled with clinically significant distress.

(Not that I necessarily believe it - just that that's the way it reads.)

-gb

[Samael]

Is super-power more appropriate? X)

Blehh, you're so keen on viewing this from a positive point of view that I submit. :lol: Granting myself or anyone else more credit than I feel is deserved is not common though, so let's not make this a habit, hmm? :P

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

Is super-power more appropriate? X)

Blehh, you're so keen on viewing this from a positive point of view that I submit. :lol: Granting myself or anyone else more credit than I feel is deserved is not common though, so let's not make this a habit, hmm? :P

hehe just this once. X)

[Member33070]

I said No, and Yes if the symptoms are extreme.

[Squick]

I've taken that online quiz thing about personality disorders and often been pegged as avoidant more than any other. On the other hand, I saw a psychologist once, and she said I might have mild social anxiety--there was no sweeping declaration of a major disorder.

I've pretty much always been uncomfortable around people, or at least less so than I am by myself. I prefer to be alone. I live alone and basically never go out except for work and the store. But I'm better at dealing with people than I used to be.

There's also schizoid: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder, but I don't think I fit that, either. Heck, one thing they always say about schizoids is they can't be sure of its incidence because most schizoids don't seek help--they're perfectly happy being the way they are. And I saw a psychologist, so...although that was because I was depressed at the time and because I was curious as to what a professional would think of me, as I've always assumed I was "a damned mess," psychologically. I guess it turns out I'm either not as much a mess as I thought or everyone else is a mess, too.

[AlmaRustica]

I fit the description entirely. Since very early childhood I panic about any and all social situations. I was the one hiding behind my "mother's" skirt (she wasn't my mom, but I didn't know that then) literally unable to move because I might get lost or do something wrong, etc. First grade was such a traumatic experience that I still remember crying at the sound of my name out loud because I could feel all eyes on me. As an adult, I walk looking down and if someone makes eye contact I look at them with attitude so they don't dare to approach me. I do know my asexuality has nothing to do with this.

I left my last job due to extreme panic attacks before and during work. I fear failure very extremely, and knowing that the Quality Assurance Dept. was grading me, I felt paranoid; needless to say I started failing my once perfect "QA" scores.

To some it might not be a real disorder, but although this is my normal, I know is not the norm because no one I know is this way.

[trany101]

The symptoms are only symptoms of a personality disorder if they are significantly interfering with your life. if you are just shy and ansxious, technically that does not count as meeting the criteria for this.

[Pandora's Fox]

It definitely fits me.

*Scribbles it down on my ever-growing list of medical conditions*

[Lady Girl]

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