Jump to content

Are you out to your parents?


The A Life Team

  

52 members have voted

  1. 1. Are you out to your parents?

    • No and they don't need to know
      145
    • No, maybe I will tell them someday
      228
    • Yes
      99
    • Only to one of them
      59
    • I try, but they don't accept it/forget about it
      84


Recommended Posts

truthseeker30

Not really, but maybe they guess. I've never used the word asexual with them yet, but then I only found it myself a few months ago & we've never really talked about sex anyway. There's a high chance they're not sexual themselves (they couldn't have kids & they're either really discreet or don't see the point of sex if it's not for procreation).

They know I'm not particularly bothered, but I think they just reckon I'm too lazy to make any effort & they do keep sort of dropping hints that they would like me to find someone & settle down. I think with some effort they might understand eventually but for now they don't need to know. It may well come up some day though, and if it starts to feel like I'm deliberately keeping a secret from them I'll probably tell them.

Link to post
Share on other sites

As far as my family are concerned, as I'm over 40, single, no kids, I'm gay, that's it, they won't accept any other reason, they don't bother with me anyway, I'm seen as an embarrassment to the family

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 4 months later...

I'm not used to keeping secrets, so i really really want to come out to my parents over the holidays...

but i'm scared out of my pants/skirt/whatever i happen to be wearing.

i'm only 21 and still in college, with no job and no ability to get my own place. it will be very difficult if they take it the wrong way and decide to disown me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Not sure where to vote. I didn't yet identify with the asexual label when my parents were still alive; however, both of them knew I had zero intent on ever engaging in sex in my life (my mother was openly mocking about it; my dad reacted with what I perceived as silent disappointment, I know that he quite certainly wanted grandkids. :mellow: )

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have no problems with who or what I am. It was in fact liberating when I finally discovered that there was such an orientation. When there is no concept to define exactly what you are, to fit somewhere, the only thing that you are left with is feel as though you do not fit in to a socailly accepted concept. Such as, "if I don't fit in the sexual world I must be broken." Before, I didn't feel broken but I was always talking myself down, second-guessing. Finding AVEN gave me certainty, confidence and validation that I wasn't in some way lacking

I feel that if I ever brought this to my family, though it brought me peace, they would begin to undercut that. Right now they can't understand why I'm not seeing anyone now nor have in my entire life. My mom finally gets that I'm fine alone but if sexuality, or rather asexuality, came into play, I think she would just back off. I'm pretty sure the response I would receive from my family would be the typical "10 Responses to Asexuality." My parents can't even accept that people of the same gender can love one another or should raise children. I just don't think that they would even see Ace as a sexual orientation. More likely they would suggest I see a doctor, take some pills, or think I'm dramatic. And knowing that they would likely do this, I know what my reaction would likely be. I don't like to be made fun of and I don't like to have other people try to dictate what I am. I would rather just avoid the whole conflict. Do they really need to know?

I'm not sure. I wish only to be myself, that I could show more than just a mask.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I am, yeah, although I don't think my Dad understands it in anyway and doesn't seem interested to find out. My Mum at first said I was a batchelor so I went into greater detail. I actually came out about this time last year and it has taken the whole time for my Mum to finally understand the intricacies of our wondefrul orientation. She now informs proudly anyone who wants to know and has taken pleasure in educating others who have enquired.

My life is far happier now because of that and at once when coming out a complete life change. To me, the backing of my Mum and her understanding of things is paramount.:)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I told them I am asexual and they said "I don't think you are." so I voted as "I try, but they don't accept it."

How would they know whether I am or not?!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...

I voted for "only to one of them" because my father died before I actually learned about the existance of asexquality.

But then it's not like I said "Look mom, I need to tell you I'm asexual". I never mentioned the word. But, as someone before me wrote, she's known me my whole life and has surely noticed that I don't date. She seems to be OK with me not having sex.

She seems to be more preoccupied with my aromanticism (though, again, I never mentioned the word in a conversation). More or less twice a year an awkward moment comes (my nameday and Christmas Eve) when she wishes me all the best and that usually includes a girlfriend or a wife.

When I was thinking about how to answer the poll it occured to me that perhaps my mother is also somewhere on the asexuality spectrum. I honestly don't think she had sex since she left my father 30 years ago. Also, she doesn't seem to think sex is important in life or a vital part of a relationship.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I voted 'I try but they dont listen/forget it' because while I have told my mum, she seems to be under the impression that it is just a phase. -_- At least shes told me shes willing to support my 'phase'.

Link to post
Share on other sites

No, I won't. They wouldn't understand anyway. I don't feel stressed about them not knowing, I'll live my life when I move out, if they ask why I'm still single I'll just tell them that I haven't found the right person (it's true anyway)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I even printed out the pamphlet to give to my parents. Please help make them less stupid! XD

Link to post
Share on other sites

This poll is being locked and moved to the read only Census archive for it's respective year. As part of ongoing Census organization, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, the polls will last for one year from now on. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to re-start new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them.

Lady Girl, Moderator

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...