JJButterworth Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 I do not the best place for this thread, Hot Box, Musings and Rantings, Q&A or, here, so Mods please be free to move if necessary. If this poll offends any transgender people I am sorry and I will ask to have it taken down. The Question: Could you be a romantic partner to someone identifies as a gender that you are romantically attracted to but is physically a sex that you are not? For example, if you were a homo-romantic or homo-sexual man could you be in a romantic relationship with some who is Female to Male Transgender, without any sort of sex change surgery? Please vote only in the section that applies. Demis please vote in the sexual if you belive that your reationship would be sexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Pandoren Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 I feel a little bad for saying this, but I think my romantic qualifications are rather narrow. Aesthetic attraction plays a part in my romance drive so I don't think I could be attracted to an MtF unless they really passed (sorry ladies...) and if they were intersexed or something, even though their downstairs is no business of mine, I think on some level it would bother me. I've never been in a relationship thus far, I guess I'd have to see if I could overlook things like that in favour of personality because right now I'm sort of looking at it clinically from the outside. Link to post Share on other sites
cdrdash Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 The poll would not let me just answer the asexual question so I didn't vote. My answer would be it depends on the person. Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 I'd have to agree with Acer (barring any experience to the contrary so far). Link to post Share on other sites
Ase of Spades Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 I'm going to sound so closed-minded by saying this; I just know it. I'm really sorry if I end up insulting someone with this post. I'm not trying to be rude or inconsiderate or anything, so if I end up coming off that way Which I'm sure I probably will since I'm terrible with words please forgive me! :( In all honesty, I'd have to say "No." I've actually thought about this in the past and tried to imagine it working between me and a FtM transgender, but it just never worked that way. It's nothing at all personal (Or maybe it is? I don't know. I'm still not quite sure exactly how my mind works); I'm just hard-wired to think of people in regards to their biological sex. I know, that's horrible and basically gives the message "Even though you identify as X, you're still technically Y so that's how I'll treat/think of you," but that's just how I feel. I have nothing at all against transgenders or transsexuals or anything; I don't consider myself to be in any place to judge anyone seeing as I'm not some sort of divine, perfect, holy being. And even then, I'd only have so much room if any since some people don't believe in that kind of stuff. I could (And would, to the best of my ability) always treat them as their gender, but something in my mind would always only be able to see their sex, which is why the relationship never worked out when I tried to envision it. I feel like a huge bigot because of that mental block and I hope I can get past it someday, but I just don't see it happening. Link to post Share on other sites
lessthanlevi Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 EDIT: generally I'm attracted to guys, but if I met a ftm who I found aesthetically pleasing and who I was romantically compatible with, why wouldn't I be in a romantic relationship with them? after all, I want nothing to do with what's in their pants. if I love them and they love me, what does it matter? Link to post Share on other sites
Hua Baoyan Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 I want to be in a romantic relationship with a man only. Link to post Share on other sites
phantomwriter Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 You know, before I gave it much thought I didn't think I could. But since I've started watching Hot Pieces of Ace, I've developed little squishes on both Sassy (don't kill me, Ninny!) and Aim. I don't actually know what Aim identifies as, but I've noticed that it's not so much the male sex that I'm attracted to as personalities leaning more masculine on the gender spectrum. Of course, I've never tested this in practice. And I don't think there's anything wrong with those of you who can't see themselves in a relationship as such. We fall for who we fall for, there's not much choice involved. Link to post Share on other sites
ily Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 I said "yes". It's a situation I've never been in, but I can't imagine someone's genitals mattering that much to me. I'm not so strongly attracted to any gender romantically that it would matter, perhaps. With the people I had crushes on in the past, I had no idea what was in their pants, and I never did know. I don't think I would have liked them less if I somehow found out that one guy had a vagina instead of a penis. Link to post Share on other sites
Jockey Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 I'm definitely not the person you want to ask as I'm not sure I'm romantically attracted to people and if I was I probably would be pretty openminded gender wise. Also I'm trans. But I wanted to comment that surgery is really not the biggest thing I'd see as an obstacle. A person can easily look like whatever with any sort of genitalia and that's probably going to matter more, at least initially. I mean, if I was attracted to men, and I meet a transguy and he looks like a woman to me... that probably matters way more than what he's got in his underwear. Link to post Share on other sites
annwyl_cariad Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 I identify as panromantic so maybe that skews things a bit...but honestly when I get a crush on someone I don't really think about what's in their pants. For example, if I had ever gotten to a point with a person I was dating that I would actually have been confronted with what was in their pants, and it wasn't what I expected...well, I'd be surprised, for sure, but I don't think it would change anything. Granted, I've never gotten to that point with someone, so I can't say for sure, but I don't think it would. Link to post Share on other sites
JJButterworth Posted October 25, 2010 Author Share Posted October 25, 2010 But I wanted to comment that surgery is really not the biggest thing I'd see as an obstacle. A person can easily look like whatever with any sort of genitalia and that's probably going to matter more, at least initially. That is true. The surgery qualification was more for the sexuals I feel that would be a bigger factor for a sexual then an asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Hermathena Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 It didnt allow me to vote only for the asexuals . So I also voted for the sexuals (no) but this should not count. For the asexuals I voted yes . I am biologically a female and usually I get romantically attracted to either females or homo men so I guess this is what the poll is actually asking no? Link to post Share on other sites
Stormy Wether Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 Speaking from a vast lack of experience on the subject, I don't think I'd have a problem with a partner being trans, if anything I'd be more caring towards them because of the struggle they have. Surgery or not makes no difference. Link to post Share on other sites
prettyeyes Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 I don't care one iota about my partners' identity and physicality, though I do find myself wary of dating people who identify as male and straight as I worry they might try to make me be more in line with their romantic/sexual orientation. All they have to do is let me know what to call them and their wishes shall be met. :P I expect the same. I won't attempt to convince them to change their gender or physical characteristics, and I want them to be the same way regarding me. Link to post Share on other sites
Selk Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 I've never really been in a relationship, but since I; am asexual so coitus is of no importance; always consider a person their gender no matter what their sex is, I think I'd date them. I put the second option though since obviously I'll only really know when I meet this person. ;D I voted the central option for both since I can't choose one, so subtract one from the sexual side! :( Link to post Share on other sites
JJButterworth Posted November 13, 2010 Author Share Posted November 13, 2010 I have fixed the issues with the voteing. Link to post Share on other sites
trany101 Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I have dated many transgender people. I am a transsexual so I often make a joke about how I am the best of both worlds to people. I can't get you pregnant and I can fix a car or I'm always ready to go and I can cook you breakfast in the morning. A lot of transguys I know have a problem with the jokes I make and I know a lot of people who won't date a pre-op trans person. To each their own as long as you are upfront about your feelings, but do so with respect. Using any language such as "not a real *insert gender label here*" will be seen as offensive very, very quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
Boo42069yomomma Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Nope Link to post Share on other sites
JAKQ7111 Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I don't see why it would be a problem if a romantic partner of mine was MtF or anything like that, especially because we would be very unlikely to have sex, so genitals would be a non-issue. I can understand why it would be an issue for some sexual people, because sexual intercourse would come into play, and the partner's genitals would likely make things difficult, but for me, no issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Notte stellata Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 No. I'm very hard-wired heteroromantic, and I can only see myself being romantic with a physically male person. But the opposite situation can work for me - I can be with someone who is male-bodied but not cis-male. It still depends on the specifics of the individual though. Link to post Share on other sites
Bye Bye Birdy Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 No. I might be asexual, but I certainly don't count on finding an asexual relationship. Being with a male-bodied person is not appealing to me. If they were the most wonderful, fantastic, perfect person in every other way, I'd be willing to overlook it, but dating a transgender person is not something I'd normally consider. Link to post Share on other sites
Arcovia Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I answered No. I'm not sure if I even am romantic, but I don't want to date anyone who is not cismale and hetero. It's not because I find trans* people revolting or anything, it's just the way it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Plumcots Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 I would totally do it if person did not have obviously visible breasts/curves that would give away physical femaleness. Since I'm not quite sexual I like people better with their clothes on anyways. If I couldn't see the female parts, what difference would it make? Assuming they didn't dress like a girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Nekomata Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 I've never really thought about this... probably does depend on the person, though... and I'm kinda picky too xDD Link to post Share on other sites
Busrider Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 I guess it matters. - I'm attracted by tomboys. From what I have seen there is only "male to lady" instead of "male to tomboy" as a transgender option? - Since I define as minimum male I also wouldn't know if thats enough for a "more female role seeker"-gay as his counterpart Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 In all honesty, I don't think I could ever be with someone with a penis... there's already too much of the dangly stuff just with myself onboard. <_< A post-surgery transwoman though - yes, I can certainly see that happening. Shallow as it makes me sound, though, it would have to be someone who passes well... but then again, I've seen quite a number of very aesthetically attractive women who were genetically XY. Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Girl Posted January 1, 2013 Share Posted January 1, 2013 This poll is being locked and moved to the read only Census archive for it's respective year. As part of ongoing Census organization, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, the polls will last for one year from now on. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to re-start new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them. Lady Girl, Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
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