How much does the physical sex of a romantic partner matter

[JJButterworth]

I do not the best place for this thread, Hot Box, Musings and Rantings, Q&A or, here, so Mods please be free to move if necessary. If this poll offends any transgender people I am sorry and I will ask to have it taken down.

The Question: Could you be a romantic partner to someone identifies as a gender that you are romantically attracted to but is physically a sex that you are not?

For example, if you were a homo-romantic or homo-sexual man could you be in a romantic relationship with some who is Female to Male Transgender, without any sort of sex change surgery?

Please vote only in the section that applies. Demis please vote in the sexual if you belive that your reationship would be sexual.

[Pandoren]

I feel a little bad for saying this, but I think my romantic qualifications are rather narrow. Aesthetic attraction plays a part in my romance drive so I don't think I could be attracted to an MtF unless they really passed (sorry ladies...) and if they were intersexed or something, even though their downstairs is no business of mine, I think on some level it would bother me. I've never been in a relationship thus far, I guess I'd have to see if I could overlook things like that in favour of personality because right now I'm sort of looking at it clinically from the outside.

[cdrdash]

The poll would not let me just answer the asexual question so I didn't vote. My answer would be it depends on the person.

[daveb]

I'd have to agree with Acer (barring any experience to the contrary so far).

[Ase of Spades]

I'm going to sound so closed-minded by saying this; I just know it. I'm really sorry if I end up insulting someone with this post. I'm not trying to be rude or inconsiderate or anything, so if I end up coming off that way _{Which I'm sure I probably will since I'm terrible with words} please forgive me! :(

In all honesty, I'd have to say "No." I've actually thought about this in the past and tried to imagine it working between me and a FtM transgender, but it just never worked that way. It's nothing at all personal (Or maybe it is? I don't know. I'm still not quite sure exactly how my mind works); I'm just hard-wired to think of people in regards to their biological sex. I know, that's horrible and basically gives the message "Even though you identify as X, you're still technically Y so that's how I'll treat/think of you," but that's just how I feel.

I have nothing at all against transgenders or transsexuals or anything; I don't consider myself to be in any place to judge anyone seeing as I'm not some sort of divine, perfect, holy being. And even then, I'd only have so much room _{if any} since some people don't believe in that kind of stuff. I could (And would, to the best of my ability) always treat them as their gender, but something in my mind would always only be able to see their sex, which is why the relationship never worked out when I tried to envision it. I feel like a huge bigot because of that mental block and I hope I can get past it someday, but I just don't see it happening.

[lessthanlevi]

EDIT:

generally I'm attracted to guys, but if I met a ftm who I found aesthetically pleasing and who I was romantically compatible with, why wouldn't I be in a romantic relationship with them? after all, I want nothing to do with what's in their pants. if I love them and they love me, what does it matter?

[Hua Baoyan]

I want to be in a romantic relationship with a man only.

[phantomwriter]

You know, before I gave it much thought I didn't think I could. But since I've started watching Hot Pieces of Ace, I've developed little squishes on both Sassy (don't kill me, Ninny!) and Aim. I don't actually know what Aim identifies as, but I've noticed that it's not so much the male sex that I'm attracted to as personalities leaning more masculine on the gender spectrum. Of course, I've never tested this in practice. And I don't think there's anything wrong with those of you who can't see themselves in a relationship as such. We fall for who we fall for, there's not much choice involved.

[ily]

I said "yes". It's a situation I've never been in, but I can't imagine someone's genitals mattering that much to me. I'm not so strongly attracted to any gender romantically that it would matter, perhaps. With the people I had crushes on in the past, I had no idea what was in their pants, and I never did know. I don't think I would have liked them less if I somehow found out that one guy had a vagina instead of a penis.

[Jockey]

I'm definitely not the person you want to ask as I'm not sure I'm romantically attracted to people and if I was I probably would be pretty openminded gender wise. Also I'm trans.

But I wanted to comment that surgery is really not the biggest thing I'd see as an obstacle. A person can easily look like whatever with any sort of genitalia and that's probably going to matter more, at least initially. I mean, if I was attracted to men, and I meet a transguy and he looks like a woman to me... that probably matters way more than what he's got in his underwear.

[annwyl_cariad]

I identify as panromantic so maybe that skews things a bit...but honestly when I get a crush on someone I don't really think about what's in their pants. For example, if I had ever gotten to a point with a person I was dating that I would actually have been confronted with what was in their pants, and it wasn't what I expected...well, I'd be surprised, for sure, but I don't think it would change anything. Granted, I've never gotten to that point with someone, so I can't say for sure, but I don't think it would.

[JJButterworth]

But I wanted to comment that surgery is really not the biggest thing I'd see as an obstacle. A person can easily look like whatever with any sort of genitalia and that's probably going to matter more, at least initially.

That is true. The surgery qualification was more for the sexuals I feel that would be a bigger factor for a sexual then an asexual.

[Hermathena]

It didnt allow me to vote only for the asexuals . So I also voted for the sexuals (no) but this should not count.

For the asexuals I voted yes . I am biologically a female and usually I get romantically attracted to either females or homo men so I guess this is what the poll is actually asking no?

[Stormy Wether]

Speaking from a vast lack of experience on the subject, I don't think I'd have a problem with a partner being trans, if anything I'd be more caring towards them because of the struggle they have. Surgery or not makes no difference.

[prettyeyes]

I don't care one iota about my partners' identity and physicality, though I do find myself wary of dating people who identify as male and straight as I worry they might try to make me be more in line with their romantic/sexual orientation. All they have to do is let me know what to call them and their wishes shall be met. :P I expect the same. I won't attempt to convince them to change their gender or physical characteristics, and I want them to be the same way regarding me.

[Selk]

I've never really been in a relationship, but since I; am asexual so coitus is of no importance; always consider a person their gender no matter what their sex is, I think I'd date them. I put the second option though since obviously I'll only really know when I meet this person. ;D

I voted the central option for both since I can't choose one, so subtract one from the sexual side! :(

[JJButterworth]

I have fixed the issues with the voteing.

[trany101]

I have dated many transgender people. I am a transsexual so I often make a joke about how I am the best of both worlds to people. I can't get you pregnant and I can fix a car or I'm always ready to go and I can cook you breakfast in the morning. A lot of transguys I know have a problem with the jokes I make and I know a lot of people who won't date a pre-op trans person. To each their own as long as you are upfront about your feelings, but do so with respect. Using any language such as "not a real *insert gender label here*" will be seen as offensive very, very quickly.

[Boo42069yomomma]

Nope

[JAKQ7111]

I don't see why it would be a problem if a romantic partner of mine was MtF or anything like that, especially because we would be very unlikely to have sex, so genitals would be a non-issue. I can understand why it would be an issue for some sexual people, because sexual intercourse would come into play, and the partner's genitals would likely make things difficult, but for me, no issue.

[Notte stellata]

No. I'm very hard-wired heteroromantic, and I can only see myself being romantic with a physically male person. But the opposite situation can work for me - I can be with someone who is male-bodied but not cis-male. It still depends on the specifics of the individual though.

[Bye Bye Birdy]

No. I might be asexual, but I certainly don't count on finding an asexual relationship. Being with a male-bodied person is not appealing to me. If they were the most wonderful, fantastic, perfect person in every other way, I'd be willing to overlook it, but dating a transgender person is not something I'd normally consider.

[Arcovia]

I answered No. I'm not sure if I even am romantic, but I don't want to date anyone who is not cismale and hetero. It's not because I find trans* people revolting or anything, it's just the way it is.

[Plumcots]

I would totally do it if person did not have obviously visible breasts/curves that would give away physical femaleness.

Since I'm not quite sexual I like people better with their clothes on anyways. If I couldn't see the female parts, what difference would it make? Assuming they didn't dress like a girl.

[Nekomata]

I've never really thought about this... probably does depend on the person, though... and I'm kinda picky too xDD

[Busrider]

I guess it matters. - I'm attracted by tomboys. From what I have seen there is only "male to lady" instead of "male to tomboy" as a transgender option? - Since I define as minimum male I also wouldn't know if thats enough for a "more female role seeker"-gay as his counterpart

[Guest]

In all honesty, I don't think I could ever be with someone with a penis... there's already too much of the dangly stuff just with myself onboard. <_<

A post-surgery transwoman though - yes, I can certainly see that happening. Shallow as it makes me sound, though, it would have to be someone who passes well... but then again, I've seen quite a number of very aesthetically attractive women who were genetically XY.

[Lady Girl]

This poll is being locked and moved to the read only Census archive for it's respective year. As part of ongoing Census organization, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, the polls will last for one year from now on. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to re-start new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them.

Lady Girl, Moderator