Poll: Angry or Happy?

[SuzyQ]

Hi everyone, I wanted to get a take on the type of people that are members here (emotionally)... I just joined up yesterday and I'm still learning my way around. After reading post and chatting, I began to feel there is a lot of anger, pain, and hurt feelings coming from some.. I am 32, 2 failed marriages, (2 beautiful boys).. and I struggled my entire life trying to understand why I hated sex so much, and after searching my heart and soul I found my truth. And I have so much joy and happiness in my heart (yes, i went through the heartache of losing my second husband, it was the hardest thing I have ever gone through, and I will always LOVE him tremendously).. what worries me, are you angry or happy about being this way? Do you wish that you were different? Do you see it as a curse or a gift? Did some of you choose this lifestyle or did it choose you?

[Blerdivor]

Your poll is too limited for my liking.

[Hayley]

Your poll is too limited for my liking.

This.

I'm neither happy nor angry, and I didn't choose to be asexual but I wouldn't change it either. It's what I am but does not define me.

[Pandoren]

I think there are some things about asexuality that you can say are negatives (which may make you angry) and things that you can say are positives (which may make you happy) but as a whole, I think most of us here have some positives and some negatives about our situations that mean we don't have one overall view of our sexuality in terms of merely "happy" or "angry" and may not even express our emotions in that way, say "indifference"/"apathy", "sadness", "disapproval".

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by "choose this lifestyle". I'm assuming you think asexuals are celibate or abstinant? Not all of us are, the common factor is not experiencing sexual attraction, and that's not really a lifestyle to be chosen.

As for "would I be different?" I've said before on this site, "I wouldn't change myself, I'd change the world."

[Sadfairy]

I do agree the poll is rather limiting. I would think oof myself more angry than happy if I had to pick on extream. But really there is so much to concider inbetween. I am deffinelty not so much of a happy person. atleast latly.

[There Is No Cure]

Your poll is too limited for my liking.

Agreed.

I'm not angry, or happy. Contented is more like it. I am who I am and that is all I will ever be, you know? I wouldn't change myself. And I'm sad about a lot of things, most of which have nothing to do with being asexual. That actually makes me happy because now I DO know why I'm not what a lot of closed minded people call 'normal'. *shrugs* The cursed or gifted is interesting though. What are you refering to, exactly?

[Fricai]

We are what we are. Naturally sexuals and asexuals don't understand each other, so I guess both parties feel gifted. :) I do too.

[Cakey]

Happy and Gifted, if looking at my very early life and later life (forget the middle).... The asexual gift has allowed me to enjoy relationships and have many good times together whilst allowing me to keep that degree of separation, which for me, kept my emotions in check, enabling me to move on when interest waned. I do move on a lot, I don't know why.

I am also gifted, in having had and still do, some great people around me, who have helped/help me on my way.

Reading some of the really hard struggles endured by people on this forum, put my miniscule problems in to perspective.

[Lady Heartilly]

I think it is a gift because it helps me find men to be in relationships with who love me for me and are not just trying to get in my pants. I feel like it helps me know that the ones who are willing to stick with me even after they find out they're not "getting any" really do care about me as a person.

[Synergy]

Being angry and gifted would be quite scary, especially if the person was a superhero using their powers for evil.

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

[Styx]

Well, I'd say I'm happy that I finally discovered my asexuality.

And I would never want to be someone else, so I suppose you could say I'm a happy person?

[Tetraploid]

Well, your poll didn't give many options, but I answered 'happy' and 'cursed'. Being asexual doesn't make my life any easier, that's for sure...but if I wasn't asexual, I wouldn't be me. And I like being me. So, yeah...it may be a 'curse' more than it is a gift, but I'm happy with it.

[articvibe]

More apathetic than angry, indeed a little dissapointed at the ignorance and the lack of the will to understand from the general public but most of the time i stand pritty much neutral.

Gift or a curse? well that really depends on what mood im in though most of the time i do see it as somewhat of a convenience unless my clinical outlook on life is ever needed by someone

[NothingHere]

Actually being asexual isn't a problem for me, so I would say Happy, but the thing is, there's always the ignorance, misunderstanding, rudeness, etc. which makes me angry. Overall I said happy though, because I don't really want to change myself. It's also a curse though, in my opinion; largely because of the ignorance and stuff I mentioned earlier. You should probably add more options.

[ily]

Uh...none of the above? I think being asexual has advantages and disadvantages, just like anything else.

[WünderBâhr]

Topic moved to the Census subforum.

Bipolar Bear

Asexual Q&A co-Mod

[PiF]

Your poll is too limited for my liking.

and if it wasn't he would stop being angry and then be happy...and offer a gift

[KAGU143]

Suzy Q, I think you need some more options in your poll. (If it won't let you edit then just PM me and I will try to help.)

I agree with what many have said already. Being asexual is like having almost-straight hair with a couple of stubborn cowlicks in it. Sometimes it annoys the daylights out of me but it could be a lot worse, so ... overall? Meh.

It's neither a blessing nor a curse.

-GB

[Selk]

Agreed, should be more options. If I had to pick one extreme - which I did - I'd choose Happy and Gifted.

[TreacleSponge]

Yes, the poll is limited and restricted, but polls always are. Having 15 options and 4 subquestions is worse than a simple black-and-white approach. So long as everyone knows it's only a simplification that's OK isn't it?

As has been said above, it all depends. I've not had any bad experiences in particular and my brain chemistry forces me to be happy most of the time, so Happy & Gifted for me.

[SuzyQ]

Thank you all for your responses.. I do agree this poll was limiting and I apologize for that.. But this did help me to understand myself a little better and I appreciate everyone's honesty.