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How "Open" Are You?


Hot_Air_Balloons

Open-ness Poll  

  1. 1. How Open Are You about Your "Asexuality"?

    • I Tell Everyone! Including Those Who Don't Want Know!
      1
    • I Tell Many People, and Advertise (Pins, Facebook etc.)
      7
    • I Don't Advertise, But Tell Anyone Who Asks
      43
    • I Only Tell People I Want to Annoy
      1
    • I Only Tell People I Know Quite Well
      7
    • I Only Tell People in General Close Circle
      7
    • I Only Tell Friends/Family I'm Really Close With
      12
    • I Only Tell the Person I'm Dating
      0
    • I Only Told 1 or 2 People Ever and Plan to Keep it That Way
      3
    • Never Told Anyone But Want to (Soon or Someday)
      13
    • Don't Tell Anyone / It's No One's Business
      4
    • Never Told Anyone / Won't Ever / But Be Myself
      1
    • Never Told Anyone / Won't Ever / But Fake Fitting In
      0
    • Told A Few, But Fake Being Sexual to Everyone Else
      4
    • Don't Tell Anyone, And I Have Everyone Fooled I Am a Sexual
      1
    • I Fake Being Sexual So Well, I Scare Myself!!!
      1
    • Other - (I probably missed some combination)
      5
  2. 2. How Much Discrimination / Disbelief Have You Gotten?

    • None - Cause I Never Told Anyone
      18
    • None, Even Though I Told
      13
    • The Slightest Bit
      30
    • A Fair Amount
      26
    • A Decent Amount
      11
    • A Get Quite A Bit
      6
    • I Get it Constantly!
      1
    • I Get So Much I Wish I Was Never Born (Gosh I hope not!)
      1
    • Other
      4

This poll is closed to new votes


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Hot_Air_Balloons

Just curious about this one.

Only my mom and and an aunt and asexual cousin knew for a few years. Then I got the guts to tell 2 of my close friends, my sister and father. All went really well! I'm getting braver. So I put: I Only Tell Friends/Family I'm Really Close With.

Just wondering where everyone else who identifies differently from sexuals stands on AVEN.

*** This poll is for anyone who doesn't identify as a sexual (gay, straight or bi).**

I'm trying to assess those less sexual than the general population; how open they are with others.

If you were honest with others and would identify as sexual, (say you are really demi) then don't answer the poll. If you would say "Demi", or "Asexual" then answer the poll.

Thanks!

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I'm out online in as many places as I can get away with and constantly try and sneak in the topic somewhere. IRL I'm not out except to my brother and cousin.

Had a few naff answers but mainly good or at least respectful.

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I picked "Other" for how open I am about it because it depends on the situation.

I've told a couple friends who just said, "No you're not." *rolls eyes* So I stopped telling people...But I feel much more free to talk about it with people who are also asexual. I'm lucky enough to know some irl. But in general I wouldn't tell someone unless he/she said something incorrect about asexuality or asked me what sexuality I was.

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Kafka Sometimes

I have a large-ish group of close friends, and I've told all of them. If the topic happened to come up in conversation with other people, I would mention it, but it's not likely to just pop up.

My friends are pretty awesome, and I've gotten nothing but positive/supportive responses.

I realize, of course, that I'm pretty lucky to have the friends that I do.

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I only mention it if people ask. I've been really lucky and only been met with disbelief by my parents rather then everyone else I've told. My friends seem to know me better then my own kin. :P

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I voted Other on the first one because while I usually only tell if someone questions it or it becomes relevant for whatever reason, but I do also talk about it on Facebook rather casually (I have lots of people I don't even really know as friends on Facebook) and I attend Living Library events where I talk to complete strangers about my asexuality.

I voted A Fair Amount on the other one because while I don't get much disbelief or discrimination nowadays, I used to get a lot of sneering and disbelief when I was younger.

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The Doctor Who?

I've told a few people, but remain myself to everyone. I'm surprised at the amount of people who don't ask. xD x

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I'll mention it if the subject comes up, but even then it's only to people I'm close with and trust. Besides that, it doesn't come up in real life. :lol:

And I voted a decent amount for discrimination. Nearly everytime I've mentioned online I am asexual, I've gotten flak for it. In real life however, I've mostly gotten disbelief.

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The subject really doesn't come up much anymore since I am older and married. I am quite willing to talk about it if I am asked, or if it comes up for some reason, but in day to day life that seldom happens.

I met with some disbelief when I was younger, but it was mostly from friends who thought I should seek medical help. They had no problem believing that I wasn't interested in sex. Their problem was in believing that I could still be perfectly happy and healthy without it.

-GB

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Is there an option for "I came out to the internet?" Heh.

Aside from coming out to my LiveJournal friendslist (which was actually pretty major for me, as a few RL friends are on that list, as well as my sister), I've only told maybe ten people offline. My parents still don't know - I have a feeling my mother would think it's a phase.

In general I've had good/indifferent responses. Only three people have actually actively said "you're broken/not trying hard enough," or something of that sort. One I didn't really care about, another hurt because she was a big LGBT member, and the last was worst because it was the guy I was in a relationship with. But the good have outweighed the bad, which is such a pleasant surprise!

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I'm open to all, but don't feel a need to shout it from the rooftops. I used to know a woman who would tell everyone that she's a lesbian, always managed to wriggle it into a conversation somehow. It's just so utterly unnecessary and actually really annoying.

I've had a handful of disbelieving responses, especially since moving in with my partner and falling pregnant, but never anything rude. Generally people are mildly interested but not that much.

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Like Infinite Ruse, I also came out to my friends list on Livejournal, and explicitly came out to a couple of friends. I posted something on Facebook once about AVEN, and I'm a fan of A Life and Unscrewed and Illuminated.

But generally I don't talk about it with people unless someone brings it up. I consider myself out in that I'm not afraid to discuss it, but most of the time I don't see the point in bringing it up all the time. If people want to know, I'll tell them. I've only gotten a couple of negative responses from people in person, but those seemed to be more out of ignorance than malice. Once I explained why I found their comments offensive, they apologized.

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If someone asks me about my orientation I'll tell them other than that I don't advertise it outside the internet. Pretty mixed reviews on the people I've come out to some very positive some negative most often though its just confusion and misunderstandings.

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On the internet, I'm pretty open about it. When it comes to real life friends, I'm a lot more reserved about it, and only really mention it if it comes up(the rest of the time I just make it obvious to people). That'll change though, since I'm gonna have to do a big "coming out" if I wanna spread awareness through my school GSA. I'm kinda scared, to be honest; considering only 3 of my real life friends know, and only two were actually understanding about it.

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Guest NotSoLonely

I just recently "discovered" my asexuality. Until then I thought there was something weird going on with me. What a weight off my shoulders when my roommate "outed" me to myself! So far she is the only one who knows...and, of course, everyone here. I'm not sure how my family and friends would take it :(

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I tell people if they ask, if the subject comes up, or if conversation logically leads to it. I've only gotten 2 people out of about 20 or so that know that thought I was too young to decide (I'm in my mid-teens), which, now that I think about it, is pretty good.

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I voted other in the first one because on one hand I dont tell anyone unless specifically asked (and most people dont ask) , on the other hand I have a second facebook account and blog where I write all sorts of things about asexuality and try to "educate" people in my country on this subject.

On the second one I voted fair amount because in the past I did actually tell about it in 2 of my friends who were also active members of the LGBT community in my country and the literally laughed in my face. Before that event I used to think that people used in disciminations themselves would be more supportive and understanding. Now I know this doesnt work that way. And this is the reason I stopped telling anyone.

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Amputation Defenestration

I put "other" because I'm only open with extremely close friends AND people I know only casually or not at all (when it's relevant). No family, at all, ever, and no friends who aren't in the Inner Sanctum. I typically get completely misunderstood and disbelieved, but the friends who know think it's hilarious and we all crack jokes about my asexuality and their sex-crazed hormones constantly, so it works.

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I voted the third one. But I do really let it go most of the time when people assume I'm sexual. I don't tell people if it feels unsafe.

I guess the biggest disbelief I've gotten has been from doctors (and my dentist) who want to test/vaccinate for STD. I tell them I haven't had a time when I wanted to have sex so far and I don't anticipate that changing, ever. And that I've never had sex. And they say, "Ok, but that might change" (except the dentist said "will"). My dentist said I had something in my mouth (if he said what, I don't remember) that should be treated before I next French kissed anybody and wouldn't believe that anybody who French kisses me deserves to have a hundred horrible diseases (not that I've got any), because that would definitely be nonconsensual.

I post occasionally on my blogs about not wanting to be touched, or if I fill out a survey I mention it. But I'd say I usually don't even come out and say "I am ase" I just note that I don't have a dream sexual partner, have no sexual experience, would like for people to not assume that I have problems with lust, etc.

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Hot_Air_Balloons

I guess the biggest disbelief I've gotten has been from doctors (and my dentist) who want to test/vaccinate for STD. I tell them I haven't had a time when I wanted to have sex so far and I don't anticipate that changing, ever. And that I've never had sex. And they say, "Ok, but that might change" (except the dentist said "will"). My dentist said I had something in my mouth (if he said what, I don't remember) that should be treated before I next French kissed anybody and wouldn't believe that anybody who French kisses me deserves to have a hundred horrible diseases (not that I've got any), because that would definitely be nonconsensual.

The DENTIST!?!?! Okay but that's pretty creepy... The dentist should be the farthest thing from sexual questions.

Yeah doctors would probably never believe it anyway.

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I used to work in a hair salon so EVERYONE asked me. For two weeks after I told one of my friends, I had coworkers coming up to me during work and asking me questions. Stupid questions, too, as if they were trying to prove to me through logical reasoning that I was NOT asexual. Fortunately, these people had the intelligence of a can of hairspray, so their questions were more like, "Well, how do you KNOW if you've never TRIED it?"

My answer? Turning to the gay drag queen - the most openly sexual of the group - and asking if he'd had sex with a man. His reply was no. "So how do YOU know you're a homosexual?"

They all hated me after that.

Telling my mother didn't go much better. For weeks, Mom would pick out men who were walking on the sidewalk and say, "Do you think he's cute?" "He's... okay, I guess. I don't really care." "A-HA!" "...What?"

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The MoUsY spell-checker

I have asexuality-related pins on my bag, but my bag is covered in pins, so I don't think anyone will notice.

61208_468988444668_636954668_6579764_5907065_n.jpg

Spot the asexuality-related ones.

I also mention asexuality on Facebook. Most people simply don't care, and all the people who have ever replied to such posts or brought up the topic in person have given positive responses.

So yes, I "advertise", but I only tell people if they ask, or if it is relevant to conversation.

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