How long have you known you're asexual?

[firefly99]

I first heard the term when a couple of people jokingly called me asexual because I didn't sleep around, however I didn't realise that asexuality was a genuine concept until I found this site a few weeks ago!

I have always known I was different since the age of about 11 in that I never had sexual feelings for men (or women) though I thought it was either my fault or that I wasn't ready or hadn't met the right person yet.

These last couple of weeks since realising it has helped me to put my life in so much better perspective and understand what I want out of life, and its such a relief to discover I'm not the only one!

[Damien Day]

I knew I was asexual around the age of 16 when everyone else was going at it like cats and dogs.

Sherlock

[Loonita]

I always knew I was asexual in the same way I always knew that I've never climbed Mt. Everest; I never gave it any thought, but if asked I could always have instantly said "No, I've never climbed a mountain/felt sexual attraction."

I didn't realize until, I think, my late 20's, that women DID feel sexual attraction, or desire either, for that matter; it wasn't until magazines, movies, and TV shows began consistently talking about and portraying women as feeling attraction and desire that it finally sunk in that THIS was how normal women felt, rather than the traditional idea of "Women don't have 'those urges,' but if you love the man you do it for him, and maybe it will be a 'beautiful' experience for you."

same for me... never considered it as something special, never felt the need for it or the urge. I guess I wouldnt even mind having sex, but it doesnt matter to me. However, i would like to climb Mt. Everest, and maybe, one day I will do :P

Thats why I am actually wondering that there are sooo many very young ppl in this forum. Sex wasnt anything I worried or thought about, so it wasnt (and isnt) anything I miss. It is really sad that teenagers feel already out of society or whatever, for being asexual, or that u even have to think about it that young.

[Kevin Wood]

I never really realised until I joined this group. Hadn't thought about the title at all, or a word for it. But, as i've said before, no matter what your orientation, it's a superb forum. Something for everyone.

[Live R Perfect]

But, as i've said before, no matter what your orientation, it's a superb forum. Something for everyone.

You can come here more often Kev!

[Kevin Wood]

But, as i've said before, no matter what your orientation, it's a superb forum. Something for everyone.

You can come here more often Kev!

Thanks Karl, me old mate. If I come any more often I might as well rent a room here. As it is I've pitched a tent just outside, and a pitcher of beer for you and me tonight. But we might get done for loitering within tent..

[Live R Perfect]

Hmm... maybe we should rent a forum here - I'm loitering about most of the time anyhow, and I don't fancy sleeping in a tent at THIS time of year, beer or no beer!

[alucard]

Since I found AVEN.

I hadn't even heard such "asexual" before.

It really suits me, I'm happy now :D

It's a shame though that we are such a minority :(

[mango]

I don't know when I realized that I was asexual. For a long time I thought that I must be either a lesbian or really picky. I never had any moment where I realized that I was different from my friends. I always thought that eventually I would have a sexual relationship with someone, but here I am 25 years old and that has not happened.

[Red Angel]

Just wondering how many people have always been asexual and how many are because of life circumstances.

There is an herbal combination that I have to take to deal with my depression. I have to take an herbal combination because all the synthetic pharmacuticals have failed me there. This herbal combination, I would say, caused me to become asexual.

But since then, having been here, I have realized that at least a part of me was asexual for much longer than that.

[charlotte]

I first realized I was different from most of my friends in ninth grade. A bunch of my girlfriends were talking about what prom would be like- four years down the line- and all of them agreed that they would have sex prom night or they would be somehow inadequate highschoolers. My only thought was "eww."

[Rose_and_Thorn]

Sure, sex is a natural function, but so's taking a dump, and that's pretty gross too-

:lol: I laughed so much at that. Too true.

Anyway, to answer the original question. I've only really known the word for a a year or 2. And identifying myself as one has only started as of late. The signs have been there. As of about 15 or so, when instead of getting turned on by a porno my buddies snuck from their parents collection, i got sick to my stomach, I started to wonder what was "wrong". I figured i'd grow into the whole loving vagina thing. Here i am 10 years later, still Hatin' if you will. :lol:

[EmotionalHealing]

i knew i was asexual at age five. from there my whole life was created. i never wanted to pursue anything that was sexual or risky. in spite, of parents thinking i'm something i'm not. i'm my own person. i'm a rebel like billy Idol. 8) Also at age five i knew i wanted body piercing. so here i am. a chick who is asexual with cool body art.

[Strange]

I knew I am asexual three years ago, at age 28.

Before, I was just thinking my (non-)sexual life was a disaster, as if I was a character of a Houellebecq novel. But it was not affecting me very much.

One day I decided I had to choose between two options:

- Elaborate a strategy to get laid soon. Everybody else can do it, why not me ?

- Assume my non-sexual behavior.

I first privileged first option. It was like "Do it now or never".

After more reflexions, I considered the second option more seriously. I realized I was never really interested in sex. At least, significantly less interested than the average.

I went to AVEN from wikipedia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

[Friendly]

I don't think that I've ever really thought about sex in terms of something that I ever wanted to do. The same goes for dating and having a significant other. Granted, there's a small chance that my views may be attributed to a minor neurological whoziwhatchamakooji that I was diagnosed with in high school, but I don't think so. It was about that time that I figured out that I'm asexual, but I don't remember where I heard the word.

[Rukin Vinter]

I grew up thinking I was straight, because I never knew any gay people (let alone other asexuals), and until I was 11 or 12, all my peers were saying things like "girls have cooties" and "boys are gross." However, I always hung out with the either mixed boys and girls' group or the predominantly boys group, which was a rarity, and I was pretty much bi-gender, wearing shorts and a tee shirt and cutting my hair short sometimes and other times wearing a dress and having a ponytail. I also played with "guy toys" like action figures of my favorite cartoon heroes, and detested Barbies and other dolls, which represented empty physical perfection without any soul, with all my being.

Even when I got to the age where other kids started talking about dating and sex, I thought of guys (and girls) as friends, not sexual partners, and was even rather nervous about the idea of seeing someone naked. Most people thought me to be either prudish or a "late bloomer," but even now, I'm 17 and have no interest in not only having sex but viewing other people doing it either, though I'm fine with the fact that others do have sex. Until recently, the only "excuse" I had for not finding so-and-so hot or cute was "I'm weird, that's all." I think I knew more than that, but I didn't have any proof that such a thing as asexuality existed, and, like my parents and friends, assumed that somewhere buried in the back of my mind, I was interested in one gender or another. However, it was one of my friends (or acquaintances, rather) who speculated that I might be "asexual," something I had never heard of except in the context of science class when talking about amoeba. I started doing research in regards to this, and eventually came upon AVEN, the FAQ of which answered far more questions than I would've expected.

...Oh crap, I've probably written too much. Oh well, the one I voted for in the poll was "As long as I can remember."

[Islander9]

I've always known (since I could think!) that I was a bit different...some of that difference become standout apparent when I hit adolesence but didnt react at all in the way/s my peers were behaving (and their behaviour was a curious puzzle to me.) Over the years I've found ways to be myself *and* be a fairly productive member of my family and society. Never thought of myself as asexual however until I read the 'New Scientist' article

after hearing a radio item ( I had, and have, other words for me.) Cheers, kia ora from Islander9, who is drinking a cool Lindauer Special Reserve to acknowledge that summer really is here, despite a gusty souwester-

[YP]

I've always been how I am, but I've only started putting labels to it and thinking about it fairly recently.

At first, I thought that maybe I just hadn't found the right bloke for me, that one day I'd find someone I really fancied. Then I did find him, but still didn't want to have sex with him, that was really hard for me to get my head round and eventually led to the relationship breaking down.

Then I started to wonder whether I was in fact lesbian, until I realised that I didn't want to have sex with them either. I have a sort of aesthetic attraction to certain women, but in a non-sexual way, and I have that with some guys too so I figured that that couldn't be it.

As I carried on going through my 20s, single, sexless but happy I realised that I just didn't want sex. It's not that there's something wrong with me, it's just that I'm different to most of the people I know. I didn't take it any further, I didn't advertise it and I didn't seek other similar people out, but I knew, deep down, that sexual relationships weren't really what I was looking for.

It took me a while to work out that there are other people out there like me and resources like this, which is about the stage where I got into "labelling" rather than just "being". I'd read a couple of references to asexuality before I decided to take the plunge and actually start posting and consciiously identifying myself as asexual.

[Adelaine]

for 5 months maybe ... I thought it was something wrong with me but when I found this forum in the first minute I have known "yep, this suits me"