How long have you known you're asexual?

[IamMe]

Just wondering how many people have always been asexual and how many are because of life circumstances.

[Live R Perfect]

In response to the thread title: I've only known I was asexual since I discovered AVEN a year ago and read the definition and a few of other people's posts here. Thats when I decided that the word 'asexual' suits me.

In response to the poll: I have no idea how long I have been asexual. Sometimes I think of it as being something innate - the way I was born. Other times I wonder whether a combination of psychological and physiological factors have made me the way I am.

In short, I don't know!

[KidKash]

Other times I wonder whether a combination of psychological and physiological factors have made me the way I am.

I often think the same thing only I think sociological factors may have contributed as well. I had actually started saying that I was asexual before I found this site though.

[A-Ole]

I always knew I was asexual in the same way I always knew that I've never climbed Mt. Everest; I never gave it any thought, but if asked I could always have instantly said "No, I've never climbed a mountain/felt sexual attraction."

I didn't realize until, I think, my late 20's, that women DID feel sexual attraction, or desire either, for that matter; it wasn't until magazines, movies, and TV shows began consistently talking about and portraying women as feeling attraction and desire that it finally sunk in that THIS was how normal women felt, rather than the traditional idea of "Women don't have 'those urges,' but if you love the man you do it for him, and maybe it will be a 'beautiful' experience for you."

My reaction to grasping that women had these sexual feelings matched my mother's feelings on the subject; "It's bad enough that men have to be disgusting... do women have to be disgusting too?" Sure, sex is a natural function, but so's taking a dump, and that's pretty gross too-I'm more than happy to NOT feel sexual attraction, or desire either.

[cait]

I've known I was asexual since a month ago. ;p

I've been disinterested/diverted from sex my whole life. I did not know this was anything other than normal though since I kind of live in my own point of view and don't know about this "normal" thing that people speak of so fondly. Bad sexual experiences happened, but funny thing is I did not realize they were bad at the time, just like I did not realize I was asexual until a month ago.

[winter]

i've known for years that i don't want to have sex, and have been joking about being asexual for the past couple of years or so. it wasn't until a month ago that i found out that asexuality is a legitimate orientation. it was basically confiming what i've known all along.

[emmarainbow]

I figured out that I didn't fancy anyone like everyone else did when I was about 11, and became really worried about it by the time I was 15, because, well, what was wrong with me? When I read an article on asexuality in my mums paper, I thought 'thats me!' and was hyper by realising I wasn't a freak after all for a week.. That doesn't really cover any of the poll questions up there, so I've not voted.

[Kensington]

I've felt this way for as long as I can remember. I never really knew I was different until around grade 7 though, since that was when people started dating and everything.

I didn't know I was "asexual" until I found AVEN, but that's just a technicality. ;)

[ikhnaie]

I've been asexual my whole life, but it wasn't until I had sex and broke down the next day, not knowing who I was anymore, and around that same time was really confused about these feelings I had for another person that were completely none sexual, I just wanted to be around him all the time that I realised I wasn't gay, definately wasn't straight, but was under a different category of sexuality.

I'd jokingly called myself asexual when the whole dating/shaggin thing came up, and we'd do the same thing to one of my other friends who has only ever enjoyed sex with his current girlfriend who he is really in love with.

So a friend pointed me towards the New Scientist article, and I suddenly felt ... whole again. So I've only known for a few months, but hindsight is definately 20/20.

[Shockwave]

I didn't realize I was asexual until recently because I didn't think that I was really different from everyone else. I just thought that the people around me were exaggerating their feelings. I didn't think they really felt that strongly.

[Tanasha]

Well, I've known I had no interest in sex/ relationships since about 14. I never wanted to date, and had no desire for anything physical.

It wasn't until a month and a half ago I realized I was A. :)

[Kensta]

I now realise that i turned asexual around the ages of 12-13, I like to think I "Grew Out" of it.

So I dont fit in any catagory

[Squick]

Well, I'm not asexual really. Just a wannabe, LOL. So...I've known I've had "issues" with sex since, um...I don't know. I guess since my third boyfriend, at least, when I finally started thinking it was a real issue for me and not just "one of those things" or situation-dependent. Then with my last boyfriend, it became a real issue, especially since I loved him so, and we had such a great thing going in every other way. But I couldn't get past it, and I got bitched at so often.

I don't remember when I first heard of asexuality. Anyway, I knew it was out there, and I knew there were sites on it. And eventually, I decided to join this board here. I am one of those who didn't come from the New Scientist article. I just sort of decided to finally join and explore the topic. I didn't know there was an article until I joined.

[CC]

I learned about asexuality about a month ago, when I found AVEN, but really I think that I was wondering/questioning after a VERY bad relationship...my first (and most likely only.)

[quietbraggadocio]

I've known I was asexual since everyone else became sexual, I just didn't know there was a term for it and other people were the same.

It makes me really sad that rape warrants being up there. I like to think rape is horrendous and rare, rather than just horrendous. I can't even imagine how horrible it must be. :cry:

[cijay]

I feel I always HAVE been, just found a word for it last year.

[Kilraven]

People who know me from this board have probably read this story already, but for those who don't (or don't remember) I'll repeat it here. (And those who have read this before, my apologies in advance.) :)

I've never been interested in sex. When I was around 20 years old I sought medical advice about it, wondering if there was something wrong with me. My doctor ran a whole bunch of tests (blood tests, endocrinological tests, etc.) and found nothing wrong with me, biochemically speaking. So he sent me to a psychiatrist.

After talking with the psychiatrist for an hour or so, he drew a bell curve. Something like this one, but just the curve itself:

He said that most people were in the large area in the middle. Some people were way over at the far right, people with very strong sex drives. And others were way over at the far left, those with weak sex drives. He said that there was nothing psychologically wrong with me that he could tell, that I seemed to be very well-adjusted, and that I simply happened to be one of those people over at the left side of the curve. (He also suggested that this might be an advantage for me, in that it might keep me out of trouble or from doing foolish things that many young men do in their quest for sex.)

[Beanz]

I'd say since I joined aven.

Before that I just thought I was a late bloomer. Or just weird.

I don't really know if I've ever been sexual. The idea of sex is what put me off dating in a way. I figured I'd do it one day but I didn't want the pressure hanging over me or somthing.

But I agree with LiverMonster on this.

'I wonder whether a combination of psychological and physiological factors have made me the way I am. '

Hee, I saw a T-shirt the other day that said 'The Liver is evil and must die'

But I'd never kill you, liv. I'd hire someone else

;)

[Alya]

I don't know, I guess I've always been this way but didn't have a word for it until I read the new scientist article last month. I've always been one to keep to myself anyway, so not being interested in dating as a teen or since, I just labelled myself bookworm, geek, nerd, antisocial (actually my parents gave me that label) etc. etc.

At least now I know what to call myself, Asexual type C and HSP. Hey, that rhymes! :lol: OK maybe a bit geeky too...

[Live R Perfect]

But I agree with LiverMonster on this.

'I wonder whether a combination of psychological and physiological factors have made me the way I am. '

Hee, I saw a T-shirt the other day that said 'The Liver is evil and must die'

But I'd never kill you, liv. I'd hire someone else

;)

:lol: LiverMonster?! :lol:

I'm keeping an eye on you, Bex

[Aeireono]

I've known for a long time that sex doesn't interest me - more or less from when I discovered what it was, really. (Even before then I didn't have any sort of drive to find out what sex was. I'd heard the word, but I just assumed I'd find out sooner or later) I still remember reading a book about it at the age of about ten or so (not sure) and thinking "Why is that supposed to be fun?" I figured you grew to like it, but the idea is still squicky today.

I think I'm lucky, though... I never knew there was a word for how I felt, but I knew I was more comfortable with not doing it, so I figured that was okay.

But if you want to be specific, I first discivered there was a word for it about a year ago now...

[mcsquared]

After talking with the psychiatrist for an hour or so, he drew a bell curve. Something like this one, but just the curve itself:

Cool graph! We should store that for future reference in FAQ or something,esp for those people who have to explain why it's not a disorder. Sounds like a cool psychiatrist too! Good for perspective since it's usually considered more acceptable to be on right extreme side of bell curve than left...

[Kilraven]

After talking with the psychiatrist for an hour or so, he drew a bell curve. Something like this one, but just the curve itself:

Cool graph! We should store that for future reference in FAQ or something,esp for those people who have to explain why it's not a disorder. Sounds like a cool psychiatrist too! Good for perspective since it's usually considered more acceptable to be on right extreme side of bell curve than left...

The DSM-IV does include "Hyposexuality" as a disorder, but like many condititions listed, it's considered a disorder only if it is a cause or source of distress in the patient. I guess the psychiatrist saw that I wasn't distressed, just curious... and that I would be satisfied with a logical explanation. 8)

[mcsquared]

[

The DSM-IV does include "Hyposexuality" as a disorder, but like many condititions listed, it's considered a disorder only if it is a cause or source of distress in the patient.

Still seems kind of vague--distress could still be interpreted in the broad sense of I feel it's concern enough to see a doctor or feel like they're the only one or whatever.Does the DSMV give a "cure" or is it making the person feel ok with who they are or what?

[Kilraven]

[

The DSM-IV does include "Hyposexuality" as a disorder, but like many condititions listed, it's considered a disorder only if it is a cause or source of distress in the patient.

Still seems kind of vague--distress could still be interpreted in the broad sense of I feel it's concern enough to see a doctor or feel like they're the only one or whatever.Does the DSMV give a "cure" or is it making the person feel ok with who they are or what?

The Diagnostic Standars Manual, 4th Edition (DSM-IV) merely diagnoses, it does not offer cures. "Distress" is usually construed to mean, is it severe enough that it interferes with normal day-to-day functioning, or does it cause great emotional upset? In my case, it did neither. It was enough to make me wonder if there was, for example, a problem with my endocrine system. I reached puberty rather late, for instance. But there was no physical problem detected, and the psych's explanation (that there is nothing wrong with me, I'm just way over to the low end of the curve) was enough to put my mind at rest.

[CrazyCanuck]

In answer to the poll, I said I didn't really know - I've probably always been asexual since I don't remember ever being sexually attracted to anyone but it wasn't until last month with the New Scientist and cnn.com articles that I finally put two and two together. I'd always just thought I must be a rather odd duck in that I didn't need a relationship the way most people I know seem to and then I saw the articles and the proverbial lightbulb came on.

[LuvHuggS]

Pretty much always known,

Just never had a "word" or "label" to attribute to it.

G.

[Ineptitude]

It wasn't so much realizing that I was asexual... just realizing that everyone else wasn't.

[pejoratist]

As soon as I heard the word, I knew. Until then, I was just impossibly picky.

[Dargon]

I knew I was different when in middle / high school people started dating and looking at others in a sexual way and I really had no interest whatsoever. I first heard the term asexual used to describe a person (instead of how many microscopic organisms reproduce) probably about 6 months ago.