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Ergh.. I should have known this might happen..


Embyr Arrikanez

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Embyr Arrikanez

Hello.. My name's Em.. and I.. I have.. a PROBLEM. :: Sob ::

No, but really.. I think I do. Some of you might have seen from my previous posts that I'm in a sexual relationship.. and now? I think it's just gone too, too far.

'Cause, y'see, I'm an asexual, and I'm addicted to sex.

Not at all in the sexual or physical sense, but in the emotional one. I need to have sex to know I'm loved, and when I don't, I start thinking I've done something wrong.. x_x It's awful, and it puts a strain on not only me, but my SOs. I know I'm bipolar, and I know I have an extremely addictive personality -- to the point where I can get psychologically addicted to anything, as long as it distracts me from distress.. that's typically what starts off most addictions, anyways, yeah?

Egh, it's hard enough admitting this as it is, because I've come to be rather fond of this community, even if I don't post much.. and being afraid that people will point fingers at me and go "YOU'RE NOT ASEXUAL" because of something like this (when I have never been sexually attracted to anyone in my life.. emotionally, aesthetically, mentally, but not sexually..).. And I guess I'm just asking for advice, any advice at all as to what I can possibly do to stop this from happening? x_x; I can explain more, I think, but that's the meat of it..

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Embyr Arrikanez

Since the edit button is going wacky right now -- Hell, my entire internet connection is -- I'd like to clarify:

Sex was first used as a distraction, because while I (.. normally) have no desire for it, I don't have a particular aversion to it. I see -- or saw --it as just something else to mess around with occasionally, but now.. Well, me using it as a distraction from my depression (not to mention a bonding experience) has led into, as I said, psychological addiction. As said, I get rather upset, depressed, and fearful when I don't have it.. And I know it's not a good thing to do, but I'm unsure of what to do about it. As such, suggestions would be heartily appreciated. Or just opinions. Please.

.. :(

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And I know it's not a good thing to do, but I'm unsure of what to do about it. As such, suggestions would be heartily appreciated. Or just opinions. Please.

.. :(

Um, if you are bipolar, I know that increased sexual activity outside your norm may be a sign you're starting to cycle. So just make sure you're healthy on your meds or whatever and pay a doctor visit if you need it. Hope you feel better.

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I know someone who is the exact same way. Sex is all too often used to replace other needs and desires.

Just to clarify- is your SO requesting sex, or is your sex addiction causing distress between the two of you? This was not clear in your post. If your SO is feeding the fire of your addiction by asking for sex, you need to rethink the priorities. However, if your rampant need to feel loved via sex is distressing to your SO, then it is obvious that they truly care about you, not sex, and hence sex is not needed to feel loved.

It sounds to me that you have a very supportive and understanding SO that generally wants for your wellbeing. You don't NEED sex to ensure that this person cares about you! It is hard to break an addiction, but for your sake, and the sake of your SO, this is what you must do. You have to find another outlet- there are many better things to do with a loved one than to screw them for a mild high which neither of you enjoys on the long-term. And yes, I understand that you are addicted and that an addiction is very complex, but you have to start somewhere.

Communication is paramount. Tell your SO that you have a sex addiction, that you have it because you need to feel loved, and that you aren't enjoying your current state and need help to stop. It might be embarrasing and awkward, but it is sure as hell better than to put you and your loved one through what you currently are suffering with.

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