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Lord Dandylion

Using the WORD Asexual

  

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  1. 1. Did you use the word BEFORE hearing it from others?

    • Yes, I called myself asexual.
      22
    • No, but I had another word
      9
    • No, I knew I was different but couldn't explain how
      35
    • No, I didn't realize I was asexual until hearing about it
      15
    • Other (explain)
      6


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Lord Dandylion

I used the word asexual back in probably 2004-2005, when I was in 8th or 9th grade. I used it as the 'opposite' of bisexual using it to mean non like 'abiotic' and 'asymmetrical.' It was kind of a joke when I said it, but part of me was totally serious even though I knew it was generally meant to be 'asexual reproduction.'

I never ever thought I'd be here today on a forum dedicated to calling ourselves and other humans asexuals.

Then, in 2009, or maybe even this year, my friend told me Emilie Autumn called herself an asexual. I was like 'Omg, that's what I used to call myself! I love her even more now!'

Then another (online) friend of mine (identifying as asexual herself) started sending me some asexual faq questions from aven and linked me to this site. It was her way of 'coming out' to me. Little did she know that I was asexual as well (or maybe she did know? XD haha) It was a few months before I joined because I forgot about the site completely, but here I am.

How many of you used this term before discovering aven or any other references to (human) asexuality?

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Russky

I used the term briefly in middle school when my 2 best friends came out as gay and transsexual respectively (everyone else seemed to be defining their sexual preferences, it was almost a matter of self-defense to define my preference for not having a sexual preference), but I really didn't think about it seriously until relatively recently. In high school I called myself straight rather than ace because I thought I just hadn't met the right guy yet, but I also clarified that I really wanted nothing to do with sex.

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Samarachelle

I jokingly called myself asexual when I was 13/14 for some reason (I'm twenty now)... I guess because I was simply disgusted with how people I knew changed in regards to sex drive, and romance. I was like, where have all these people I once knew, gone? It weirded me out, and so I'd just tell friends that I was 'asexual' to protect myself in a way perhaps, and to sometimes get a rise out of them.

Dunno what I am now, though I definitely have a very low libido, and I don't like sex. I have nothing against romance now though, haha. I used to wish romance was simply in fictional stories however, because I loved reading about it but it grossed me out in real life (I suppose it was mostly the "you're all changing!" fear).

P.S.: I totally just read that Emilie Autumn is asexual, this week! My reaction was similar lol! I was like, "AWESOME"

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P is for...

i have letters i wrote to a friend of mine (if that sounds odd, we traded the letters years later, so i have the ones i wrote and she has the ones she wrote) in which i used the word asexual in reference to myself when i was 14. it wasn't a joking reference, either. this was back in the mid-80s. i have no idea whether i'd heard anyone use the word in that context; i rather doubt it, considering the era and my fairly limited exposure to any sort of dialogue that would have included anything like that. most likely i just used it intuitively; i've always been a word person, and adding the prefix "a-" to "sexual" probably just made sense to me. i do find it interesting that i evidently had such a clear sense of myself at that age (about my gender issues, too), and that's one of the reasons i tend to get annoyed whenever i hear anyone imply that teenagers don't know enough about themselves to be able to identify as asexual, or anything else, for that matter.

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Lady Heartilly

I always used to think that "asexual" just meant that you could reproduce without sex, and I never used it in any other context. However, I also used to think that it wasn't really that weird to not want to have sex until I found out about AVEN. I guess that's because I didn't talk to many people in high school. I was a very naive little thing. :redface:

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Lord Dandylion
In high school I called myself straight rather than ace because I thought I just hadn't met the right guy yet, but I also clarified that I really wanted nothing to do with sex.

Same here. I generally used 'straight' though I did sometimes use asexual. I really felt that I just..... wasn't into guys yet? I mean, I kind of used it as aromantic, but I really think I am romantic... I just... don't... see it. Heh.

For the longest time I WANTED to be gay as an explanation, even though I used the word asexual, but it made no sense to me to be gay because I also felt that gender meant nothing to me and that people shouldn't be straight or gay because gender didn't matter, but that was something I thought loooong before I should've been thinking those things. (When I was in elementary school)

adding the prefix "a-" to "sexual" probably just made sense to me.

Same with me. That's probably true for anyone that used the term before hearing it used by others though.

i do find it interesting that i evidently had such a clear sense of myself at that age (about my gender issues, too), and that's one of the reasons i tend to get annoyed whenever i hear anyone imply that teenagers don't know enough about themselves to be able to identify as asexual, or anything else, for that matter.

I wish more people thought this way. I hate that I'm never taken seriously because I'm not a proper adult. 19 or not, I'm not an adult yet. *sigh* I feel I am no more mature than I was when I was 14, really. I'm not much different either except that I'm happier, but that comes from understanding some of my, erm, psychological problems rather than my identity, although finding AVEN and knowing I'm not alone has possibly also contributed to this.

When I was 12, I was immature and stupid and ignorant.

I'm still ignorant in a way that I don't think I'll grow out of.

When I was 13, I was transitioning my life, becoming who I am, changing in ways I cannot explain.

By the time I was 14, I was me. I was as much of an adult back then as I am now, but most people would tell me that I am not adult enough now, so that argument would be irrelevant.

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LibelandI

One of the people that lurks in my brain and won't let me sleep (in other words, one that wants to have his story written) is asexual. I used the word to describe him way before I even suspected that I might be asexual as well.

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trisarahtops

I didn't really think too much about it until it was mentioned to me. I spent some time thinking I was gay, but that didn't really seem anymore plausible to me than being straight. So then I thought well I must be bisexual since I don't really find one gender too much more different than the others, although I wasn't very set on that either.

I just thought that the people I knew were either big liars, or too horny for their own good.

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Bad Patient

I jokingly called myself asexual when I was 13/14 for some reason

So did I! I knew it applied to humans from a magazine article, but I've never connected it to myself, as somehow I didn't see my lack of interest in doing anything sexual as something weird. I called myself asexual in a conversation with a (very sexual) friend; some time later he referred to it and I said — truthfully — that I had intended it as a joke. It was only about a year later than I started questioning my sexuality, read AVEN's FAQ and realised that there was more truth to my remark than I suspected.

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Samarachelle

I jokingly called myself asexual when I was 13/14 for some reason

So did I! I knew it applied to humans from a magazine article, but I've never connected it to myself, as somehow I didn't see my lack of interest in doing anything sexual as something weird. I called myself asexual in a conversation with a (very sexual) friend; some time later he referred to it and I said — truthfully — that I had intended it as a joke. It was only about a year later than I started questioning my sexuality, read AVEN's FAQ and realised that there was more truth to my remark than I suspected.

It's funny when seemingly innocent, joking remarks really do contain further insight :)

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prettyeyes

I jokingly called myself asexual when I was 13/14 for some reason (I'm twenty now)... I guess because I was simply disgusted with how people I knew changed in regards to sex drive, and romance. I was like, where have all these people I once knew, gone?

This. In my diaries from that age I wrote about how I would never marry because I never wanted to have sex and that I found the sex obsession of my peers absolutely disgusting and pointless. I called myself asexual or nonsexual somewhat sarcastically.

I no longer find other people's sex obsessions "disgusting," partially because I became more gray-a than simply a around the age of 15, and later on because I learned a lot by reading the posts of the awesome sexuals here who give us a look inside their heads.

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you*hear*but*do*you*listen

I was about fourteen when I started calling myself "asexual" to describe my sexual orientation. I thought I was the only one, though.

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gnowee

In primary, I used the term in the same manner. I knew I wasn't attracted to anyone so I jokingly used the term "asexual" to mean the opposite of bisexual. I used it jokingly because I said it would be cool if I could just bud offsrping like hydras. I would still do my part in continuing the species but I wouldn't have to have sex with a man to do it.

Then, in high school, I looked up various orientations out of boredom and found the term "asexual" again. No budding, just no sexual attraction either.

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Shiloh Black

I used the word asexual back in probably 2004-2005, when I was in 8th or 9th grade. I used it as the 'opposite' of bisexual using it to mean non like 'abiotic' and 'asymmetrical.' It was kind of a joke when I said it, but part of me was totally serious even though I knew it was generally meant to be 'asexual reproduction.'

I remember having this conversation in my head about a year ago: "Hmmm. Well, sex seems kind of gross to me, and I don't feel like trying it. I wonder if that's the same for everyone else. Maybe I'm just "a"sexual! Yeah, no, that's stupid. Amoebas are asexual. Amoebas reproduce themselves. I cannot reproduce on my own. Therefore, I am not asexual." I believe I tossed the term "nonsexual" around for a while before finding out about this site.

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JJButterworth

I saw a report on asexuailty a while back not quite sure when. I related to some of what David Jay said but I thought I was just shy. Now, that think about it wasn't because I was nervous the thoughts of sex just never occurred to me. I knew what an asexual was but did not use it to describe myself untill now.

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Amputation Defenestration

I started calling myself asexual when I was 19, but I'd never heard it applied to people. I was actually trying to explain the way I felt to a friend, who just got through telling me all the ins and outs of her long list of crushes, and it just came out unbidden. And I was half-joking, but the instant I said it, the proverbial light bulb came on and I was having this major OH MY GOD moment in the privacy of my own mind. We were on a weekend trip, and literally the first thing I did when I got home was Google asexuality to see if anyone else was experiencing the same thing.

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Samarachelle

I started calling myself asexual when I was 19, but I'd never heard it applied to people. I was actually trying to explain the way I felt to a friend, who just got through telling me all the ins and outs of her long list of crushes, and it just came out unbidden. And I was half-joking, but the instant I said it, the proverbial light bulb came on and I was having this major OH MY GOD moment in the privacy of my own mind. We were on a weekend trip, and literally the first thing I did when I got home was Google asexuality to see if anyone else was experiencing the same thing.

That's hilarious. Btw, Daphne du Maurier is the sh*t. <3

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Aleawyn

I had never really thought about the term asexuality outside of it coming up on occasion in high school biology classes, and I never thought of it as applying to humans. Then one day I was having a conversation with a friend of mine on msn who loves to tell me how much I "need to get laid" and doesn't understand why I don't date, my approach or understanding of what a relationship entails, or my lack of desire or interest in having sex (though I found the idea of sex fascinating as something people not me did since I never understood myself to be sexual). So this was the latest in a long strong of these conversations that I was getting a little frustrated with, and one day he said, rather insultingly, "no one wants to be with an asexual android like Data", and suddenly something slashed in my head that was to the effect of "omg I wonder if there is such a thing of asexuality, that seems like it could be me!", and it all sort of clicked. A few searches later I discovered this site and that's when I first realized it was a term used by people and applied to me.

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Jibun

I never came up with the word asexual independently, but I did come up with the word agender independently with regards to gender identity.

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Scarf

I must've been so oblivious to the fact that people were developing attraction to one another, I don't even know. At 14 I was answering "who do you like?" questions with "pfft, I'm only 14", at 15 I'd fallen out of the social group and people stopped asking me (though my lack of feeling towards pretty guys on The OC may have contributed to my inability to make new friends >>), and when I found myself back in a group of people who talked about people they find attractive I decided that the best way for me to stop people asking me was to make Gollumish noises and tell people that if you chopped off my hand you'd grow another one of me.

I think in the early days (the really early days) I used to pretend I liked people because that was how I thought it worked (you just decided that you were going to feel something towards someone), but I don't really remember. After that I just ignored it and assumed that what I was was an average heterosexual who was slightly undercooked. But yes, I called myself asexual in a lighthearted way for maybe a year and a half before I stumbled across it as a legitimate thing.

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Lord Dandylion
who loves to tell me how much I "need to get laid"[/font]

Now I'm glad I added that bit to my open mic competition entry, lol!

I must've been so oblivious to the fact that people were developing attraction to one another, I don't even know. At 14 I was answering "who do you like?" questions with "pfft, I'm only 14"

I felt that, too. I realized that there was something off though when a friend told me I needed to get a boyfriend. I was like 'I'm 14, why do I need a boyfriend? Why should I NEED a boyfriend anyway?' I was actually pretty offended but shrugged it off.

assumed that what I was was an average heterosexual who was slightly undercooked. But yes, I called myself asexual in a lighthearted way for maybe a year and a half before I stumbled across it as a legitimate thing.

This is exactly me, haha.

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Aiko_spacer

*no, I didn't realize people thought about having sex with other people without the thought of reproducing.

I didn't even know what 'sexual attraction' or desire was before I stumbled here. Or that people wanted to have sex every few days or they got frustrated. Or all those feelings involved :wacko:

I snap at people calling me a prude, I drew naked women at age of 16 and I never had any trouble looking at naked men either. I didn't giggle or did anything like that I called it 'childish' and disrespectful towards the model, I just drew them. Nude has never bothered me (as long as its not me ofc), even as a child, Porn is however to boring to even attempt watching, I never thought porn was hoso interesting to um ... 99% of the human population,lol.

One could say my non libido state had made me pretty apathetic to all of it "what couples do in the bed is none of my business " Not to mention being aromantic and flirtblind I just had no need at all to look for a partner.

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Anonymized

I called myself asexual a good four and a half years before finding it was any sort of legitimate. I just picked a word that seemed to fit and rolled with it. Accuracy be damned.

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bluebanana2014

I just thought of myself as a "nonsexual" and I kept my Asexuality in the closet, but it feels so good to be out of the closet, lol, I've been out since 2007. :)

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isitso

I've thought of myself as asexual since around Middle School or so, and knew the word. I don't tell everyone that I am, however. I will call myself straight depending on the company, as a fall back.

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AnyOtherName

I'm not sure. I honestly don't remember when I first heard of asexuality in terms of humans. When I was 17 I wondered if it applied to me, and I know I'd heard of asexual reproduction before then in science classes, but I don't know where I got the idea it was a sexuality. I think maybe I just assumed "asexual" was the right word; an educated guess that turned out to be correct.

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Amputation Defenestration
I used to pretend I liked people because that was how I thought it worked (you just decided that you were going to feel something towards someone)

Hahahhaha..about a month ago I got bored at work and decided for some reason to invent a crush on this coworker..but by the time I got home, I'd forgotten who I was supposed to have a crush on. XD So yeah. Didn't work.

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& I'm a heretic

I remembering always knowing I didn't want sex. I never had a desire for or interest in it, I just didn't realize this was actually like "a thing".

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Ellii

I didn't think about it, then I had a moment where I identified my sexuality and so I googled how I felt and it brought up asexuality.

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Janus DarkFox

Sexuality within itself... I never really thought about it at all in any circumstance... for which I am still curious as to why others take it for granted...

... getting a comment in before the door closes...

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