What does a sexual craving feel like?

[LeFairy]

So...what does a sexual stimulation feel like, that moment before a couple heads to the bedroom, and what kind of feelings are there being taken place?

I know, extremely super technical question, (that a lot might not be able to answer >.<) but it's been bugging me all week. Curiosity finally got the better of me and made me post this thread.

[Awkwardgirl]

For the most part, I won't be much help. It is one of those times where you'll "just know", though try and not be in the moment so much as you might regret this.

[Missingpieces]

Im asexual, but I've always imagined it being like a craving or an itch.

You have an itch on your back & you just can't get at, then someone scratches it for you....aaah

Or maybe really really needing to eat some and you won't be satisfied until you do, but instead of cake....

Does that sound right to anyone?

[you*hear*but*do*you*listen]

I've kind of been wondering this too...

[LeFairy]

Maybe we should ask a sexual...

[narwhal]

I'm asexal and i kinda had something similar to this. I didn't have sex but it was sexual for me.

I don't know how to explain it, i think they just know it's going to happen. I looked at my SO and saw it was going to happen and we just turned off the lights. I think it's a feeling that both people feel when you look at each other and silently agree to it.

Bah. i suck at explaining it.

[an1malclawz]

hmmm idk my ex gf is a sexual and she says that she gets horny (and I hate saying that word) at random times and that its so strong that she would rip someones (that she gets turned on by) clothes off, I'm guessing sex to sexuals feels so good that they have to have it again, like what hayden said its like your favorite food, cause it taste so good that you can't resist but to eat more of it

[Olivier]

Yep, it's hard to describe.

But one of the cool things about sex for sexuals is that pattern of almost exponentially snowballing anticipation, ending in a very satisfying resolution. Imagining that resolution (and sexuals have a drive to do so) sort of gets you wanting to start pushing the snowball (sometimes a LOT), and when you sense the snowball starting to move, then (a) there's a small sense of resolution in that in and of itself, and (b) you can sense, and enjoy, that the escalating process has begun. For sexuals, that whole ride, from the top of the mountain to the bottom, is fun, and longer it goes and the bigger the snowball gets the better.

So, um, yeah, "you'd know it if you felt it" is all I've got, really.

[< retired >]

... exponentially snowballing anticipation ...

... that whole ride, from the top of the mountain to the bottom, is fun, and longer it goes and the bigger the snowball gets the better ...

OK, now I've figured out my problem. Living in Florida:

(1) Snowballs melt before they ever start rolling; and

(2) There are no mountains.

Thanks for clearing that up. :)

[Missingpieces]

I'm asexal and i kinda had something similar to this. I didn't have sex but it was sexual for me.

I don't know how to explain it, i think they just know it's going to happen. I looked at my SO and saw it was going to happen and we just turned off the lights. I think it's a feeling that both people feel when you look at each other and silently agree to it.

Bah. i suck at explaining it.

So sexual people communicate psychically? :P

I'm sure Freud had some theory like that though, the libido being tied to various (not so mystical) energies in one self.

The snow in New Zealand hasn't made any sexual snowballs for me...maybe made me frigid tho!

[Face]

It sounds like an addiction to me but one that gives you a high just thinking about it. The release being the equivalent of the junkie getting his shot than allows him to relax again.

I can't help think that the part of the brain that evolved to make people crave sex is responsible for other addictions too.

That's all just my opinion though as I've not experienced either.

I don't have an addictive personality. I wonder if that's common among asexuals.

[LeFairy]

Hmm..well if it's like a snowball rolling down a hill, maybe it's something like the same adrenaline rush you get from a roller coaster? You're climbing a steep incline anticipating the moment you get to the peak, and then... *BOOM* craziness charging down.

[Lipbalm]

I think it's like a hunger ~ needing something badly like a coffee addict needing coffee and being very keen to get coffee.

[Pandoren]

It sounds like an addiction to me but one that gives you a high just thinking about it. The release being the equivalent of the junkie getting his shot than allows him to relax again.

I can't help think that the part of the brain that evolved to make people crave sex is responsible for other addictions too.

That's all just my opinion though as I've not experienced either.

I don't have an addictive personality. I wonder if that's common among asexuals.

I abstain from a lot of things so I wouldn't know if I have a particularly addictive personality (I've never smoked, I'm teetotal, never done drugs etc). I have a mild addiction to cola though ;)

I think that I could be addicted easily though, one of the reasons I don't do the above. I have long term depression and if something made me feel better, I bet I'd keep taking it.

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

It sounds like an addiction to me but one that gives you a high just thinking about it. The release being the equivalent of the junkie getting his shot than allows him to relax again.

I can't help think that the part of the brain that evolved to make people crave sex is responsible for other addictions too.

That's all just my opinion though as I've not experienced either.

I don't have an addictive personality. I wonder if that's common among asexuals.

well women with hour glass figures apparently activate the 'reward centres' of the brain which is stimulated by drugs and alcohol. It is said this might explain pornography addiction, so in light of these 'findings' I imagine it is a simple case of forming and addiction to the endorphins released during and after sex (and maybe in anticipation of it).

So yeah I'd agree with you. Besides the behaviour of some people is like a desperate gambler no?

I have an addictive personality. I'm at mercy of Oxytocin; 'the cuddling hormone' I bet you are too! XD

It's the bond making hormone apparently.

I still don't understand the exact physical feel of arousal though. I guess its like explaining being sick to someone who's never experienced it.

>.< I think I may have experienced it but with the whole 'you know it when you've had it' I suppose I probably haven't >.< Dear God things are complicated here.

[Pamcakes]

Sexual excitement feels, to me, like a warmth and tingling in my private parts that becomes very distracting until relieved.

Sexual desire - if that's what you mean by craving - feels like just about any other sort of happy anticipation. "Hmmmmn, I really want to do this thing that feels good, right now. Yay, now I get to do this thing that feels good, right now!"

The rollercoaster simile is actually a good one; the mounting excitement, the tantalising balance...and then the rush. Very apt.

P.

[Samuele]

I asked a friend this, and she said it's kind of like that feeling you get when you see your favorite food and get hungry for it. I asked another one, and they said "When you're sexually attracted to somebody, you sort of feel like you wouldn't mind getting naked and touching on them."

Or something like that.

...I don't even know.

[WhenSummersGone]

I experience arousal, which probably isn't what you're asking but it's kinda the same thing minus wanting to do it with someone. I guess it can be described as wanting cake or whatever food you like to eat, or really want to eat. Except you feel it down there lol

[Qutenkuddly]

But one of the cool things about sex for sexuals is that pattern of almost exponentially snowballing anticipation, ending in a very satisfying resolution. Imagining that resolution (and sexuals have a drive to do so) sort of gets you wanting to start pushing the snowball (sometimes a LOT), and when you sense the snowball starting to move, then (a) there's a small sense of resolution in that in and of itself, and (b) you can sense, and enjoy, that the escalating process has begun.

Sexual excitement feels, to me, like a warmth and tingling in my private parts that becomes very distracting until relieved.

Sexual desire - if that's what you mean by craving - feels like just about any other sort of happy anticipation. "Hmmmmn, I really want to do this thing that feels good, right now. Yay, now I get to do this thing that feels good, right now!"

I guess it can be described as wanting cake or whatever food you like to eat, or really want to eat. Except you feel it down there lol

Blend all three of these, and I think you've pretty much got it. Beyond that, trying to explain it to someone who's never experienced it (I have on very rare occasion) is somewhat akin to explaining colour to someone blind from birth.

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

...trying to explain it to someone who's never experienced it (I have on very rare occasion) is somewhat akin to explaining colour to someone blind from birth.

Yeah 'cause I don't understand wanting to eat with my privates. :lol:

[blane2]

It's my understanding that it is a warmth... a feeling of closeness, excitement and giddiness which draws people close and leads to sexual intercourse. Other time it's might just be a biological reaction to a physical stimulation which initiates it but as far as I can tell those other feelings come along with it after the "mating offer" is accepted and while one is engaged in it.

[Shinnok]

Like people have said, it's like an itch. Depending on the intensity, it can be pretty noticeable

In my case, sexual craving feels like my mind and body are saying "Oh man..WANTWANT" but then realizing I'm in front of a computer monitor

Then I faintly hear

in my head

[ktbgreat2]

Could seeing somebody and wanting to have sex with them, be kinda like hearing a great song that you just cant help but wanna dance, sing, just jiggy with it? No matter how you try to hold it in..itll just bust out.. tapping your feet, waggin your hips.. humming... same?

[Olivier]

Could seeing somebody and wanting to have sex with them, be kinda like hearing a great song that you just cant help but wanna dance, sing, just jiggy with it? No matter how you try to hold it in..itll just bust out.. tapping your feet, waggin your hips.. humming... same?

I like this!

Even better, it still works on the level where if you're in a situation where doing those things would be socially inappropriate (and with sex, it usually is - for example in a shopping centre :P) then you can still sort of sing it to yourself in your head.

I like this a lot!

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

Could seeing somebody and wanting to have sex with them, be kinda like hearing a great song that you just cant help but wanna dance, sing, just jiggy with it? No matter how you try to hold it in..itll just bust out.. tapping your feet, waggin your hips.. humming... same?

I like this!

Even better, it still works on the level where if you're in a situation where doing those things would be socially inappropriate (and with sex, it usually is - for example in a shopping centre :P) then you can still sort of sing it to yourself in your head.

I like this a lot!

I can get the urge to sing and dance and not act on it easily. My body is so close to doing it but its also too lazy to do it. I just get (as usual, Ive noticed i say this a LOT) a random adrenaline rush... >.< I dunno...

If I gave into every random urge that is almost unbearable I'd be punching and kicking my way around, dancing every five minutes, hugging and kissing random people, hugging plenty of trees, playing with children and animals and taking loads of pictures and shouting a whole load of random things.

So yeah, I'd seem kind of insane. So I just sit there itching to do a lot of things all the time. (I say I'm impulsive but that's good self-control tbh). [i get sort of adrenaline rushes from loads of external stimulation so I get that feeling a lot... sexual arousal isn't so often but its not to different. I just don't have a set action lined up for the feeling... =/]

[asexual]

I think it's like being hungry. But someone once told me it's like NOT being hungry. Which confused me even more.

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

I think it's like being hungry. But someone once told me it's like NOT being hungry. Which confused me even more.

To me its [physically] like having a rubber around your thumb really really tight and it gets kinda warm and tingles then just starts hurting and even after you solve the 'problem' it hurts for a while afterwards. And you just have to wonder for ages till its gonna feel normal or ignore it and carry on with what your doing.

I don't see it as being hungry at all. But I don't know if that really is arousal. It just seems like something going wrong and getting confused to me. -.-

[Hobbes!]

How about a different take on this question (I'm not trying to hi-jack this thread, I'd like to know too ;) ) - How do you distinguish sexual craving from an emotional craving? That is, how is it different from a plain 'ol crush?

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

Sexual is physical. I assumed that anyway. I can't relate the two myself. =l

[asexual]

I wonder if it's like wanting a hug from someone.