The Aromantic thread

[5_♦♣]

This is a forum, not tumblr. FYI.

[Nymzie]

This is a forum, not tumblr. FYI.

Yeah I know. I was talking about the comic, which is on tumblr.

[5_♦♣]

Oh, I see.

[{deleted}]

I think I'm aromantic. Well that's the way the dust seems to be settling. It's just taken me ages to untangle that about myself. (I didn't really realise how indifferent I am to romance until it started trying to loom over me. Now all I have to do is try to deflect interest. Or maybe I could come out as ace...)

[Radioactive Goat]

Guys I have this horrible squish on one of my friends.

aaaaa

I'm bad at talking to people and I just want her to be like one of my best friends.

I dunno where I'm going with this really, but

Bah.

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

Did anyone want to join an aromantic skype chat?

I made a post about it on Aroplane but am not sure how many people use that or saw it.

Basically as we might find it difficult to have a aro meet up, we suggested an online meet up. We've got a skype group going but if anyone from here was interested in joining let me know. And if you can think of any other aros to add please to do. ^_^

[5_♦♣]

How do I go about getting skype set up?

[Radioactive Goat]

Did anyone want to join an aromantic skype chat?

I made a post about it on Aroplane but am not sure how many people use that or saw it.

Basically as we might find it difficult to have a aro meet up, we suggested an online meet up. We've got a skype group going but if anyone from here was interested in joining let me know. And if you can think of any other aros to add please to do. ^_^

I would, but I uh

don't have a Skype account.

[The Great WTF]

Did anyone want to join an aromantic skype chat?

I made a post about it on Aroplane but am not sure how many people use that or saw it.

Basically as we might find it difficult to have a aro meet up, we suggested an online meet up. We've got a skype group going but if anyone from here was interested in joining let me know. And if you can think of any other aros to add please to do. ^_^

I would, but I uh

don't have a Skype account.

Skype is free. *wink wink*

And I should probably get in on that group, actually. I'm turning into a skype whore.

[Radioactive Goat]

I know :v

I'm just too lazy to get anything besides MSN really.

IT'S NOT LIKE I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS OR ANYTHING OKAY

[The Great WTF]

lol Skype is the only thing I use anymore for some reason.

[maven]

Did anyone want to join an aromantic skype chat?

I made a post about it on Aroplane but am not sure how many people use that or saw it.

Basically as we might find it difficult to have a aro meet up, we suggested an online meet up. We've got a skype group going but if anyone from here was interested in joining let me know. And if you can think of any other aros to add please to do. ^_^

I would, but I uh

don't have a Skype account.

I didn't either, but it's pretty simple to download and set up. No promises that things like my webcam/mic will work, but it'll be fun to chat.

Also, good luck with your squish!

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

Did anyone want to join an aromantic skype chat?

I made a post about it on Aroplane but am not sure how many people use that or saw it.

Basically as we might find it difficult to have a aro meet up, we suggested an online meet up. We've got a skype group going but if anyone from here was interested in joining let me know. And if you can think of any other aros to add please to do. ^_^

I would, but I uh

don't have a Skype account.

I didn't either, but it's pretty simple to download and set up. No promises that things like my webcam/mic will work, but it'll be fun to chat.

Also, good luck with your squish!

What squish?

Yeah if anyone wants to join the group PM me. =]

It's really easy to use and I haven't ever used the mic or webcam except with 3 people once. I don't think it's necessary to use them if you're not comfortable with it.

Right now it's just text convos anyway.

I only use skype, msn messes up too much haha.

Joinn usss~~

[5_♦♣]

Ugh, it says to temporarily disable anti virus software to get it to download. Why can't it download with anti virus software running?

[Radioactive Goat]

Did anyone want to join an aromantic skype chat?

I made a post about it on Aroplane but am not sure how many people use that or saw it.

Basically as we might find it difficult to have a aro meet up, we suggested an online meet up. We've got a skype group going but if anyone from here was interested in joining let me know. And if you can think of any other aros to add please to do. ^_^

I would, but I uh

don't have a Skype account.

I didn't either, but it's pretty simple to download and set up. No promises that things like my webcam/mic will work, but it'll be fun to chat.

Also, good luck with your squish!

What squish?

Yeah if anyone wants to join the group PM me. =]

It's really easy to use and I haven't ever used the mic or webcam except with 3 people once. I don't think it's necessary to use them if you're not comfortable with it.

Right now it's just text convos anyway.

I only use skype, msn messes up too much haha.

Joinn usss~~

Something I mentioned like a page back.

Oh maybe I'll get an account just for you guys, since I love you all so much :v

[5_♦♣]

Okay, I have it installed now.

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

Oh maybe I'll get an account just for you guys, since I love you all so much :v

:twisted:

[Yume]

So, uhh, the question is probably a bit ridiculous, but I just wanted to be sure. I'm pretty sure I'm aromantic, because, in almost a quarter of century, I've never "fallen in love" with anyone, even people I thought would be very compatible with me. I *thought* I loved one of my boyfriend, at least at the beginning, but I think even then I knew deep down that it wasn't it.

That said, could it be a matter of, pardon the expression, "not finding the right man (or woman, who knows)"? Not that I want to, mind you, I'm pretty comfortable with being aromantic, but when I didn't know about asexuality and was despairing over my lack of love life, this kind of advice came up a lot: "just wait, it'll come in time", "you haven't met the right person yet" (or, alternatively, "you should try to meet more people"), "you have to be looking for it if you want it to happen" (just not be passive and wait for Prince Charming to come out of nowhere is what she meant, I think), etc.

So, to other aromantics, how did you know you were? Would describing yourself as aromantic close up opportunities? (not that believe it would, but how do you explain that if you come to discuss it with other, romantic (and probably sexual) people?)

I guess I'm a bit confused, haha. I know what's important is how I feel about it, but with the nature of love (and how people sometimes suddenly fall in love out of the blue), the concept can be a little hard to grasp...

[Guest]

Honestly, aromantic is a label. Describing yourself as aromantic doesn't close off any opportunies it just gives you the ability to say "this is me"

As for how I figured out I was on the spectrum, it's a long (and very TMI) story that I'd rather not get into. I think it's better if somebody else does that :redface:

[Uhh]

I kind of describe myself as gray-romantic or a "hopeless romantic" stuck inside an a-romantic. I like the idea of romance and being in love. I have no problem watching romantic movies or rooting for a ship on a tv show or something. I'm a sucker for fan fiction and reading about my favorite ships. Still, I've never been 'in-love' or even really liked anyone romantically. The most I've ever liked anyone was in a sort of "i want to spend time with you and get to know you" sort of way but not in a really romantic "i want to be your soul mate" sort of way. I'm often vaguely romantically attracted to fictional characters or certain ideals (which leads me to sometimes think I'm attracted to actual people when I really don't know the person and I'm just attributing my ideal characteristics to them). I've had the chance to be in relationships before and I never felt anything. It's like once I have an actual opportunity for a romantic relationship I'm sort of turned-off. I prefer the imaginary or the fantasy to reality I guess.

I recently told my friends I was Ace and I've had friends tell me "oh well you won't know until you find that one person. I knew someone who didnt believe in love and then they met someone and their view totally changed." I realize that things can change and I keep my mind open. I guess if I met a person I liked in that way I probably wouldn't say I'm aromantic. I'd obviously tell them I'm asexual but I'd probably just say that I wanted to take things slow and go from there.

[Gho St Ory Qwan]

I recently told my friends I was Ace and I've had friends tell me "oh well you won't know until you find that one person. I knew someone who didnt believe in love and then they met someone and their view totally changed." I realize that things can change and I keep my mind open. I guess if I met a person I liked in that way I probably wouldn't say I'm aromantic. I'd obviously tell them I'm asexual but I'd probably just say that I wanted to take things slow and go from there.

That doesn't make sense. If you won't know something, it means it can go both ways, assuming there are only two that is.

But they're making out it's inevitable you will find 'that one person' whomever they are, in which case, you would ONLY know when you met them. I guess they could be saying 'you won't know for certain how wrong you are now until you suddenly turn romantic because of one person and you're clearly proved wrong. Take it from me; I've been wrong before!'

Still a poor argument.

[Radioactive Goat]

Joinn usss~~

/Done.

Add me if you want, guys. I'm 'radioactive_goat'.

[5_♦♣]

I just added you.

[777777777]

I'm deifinitely aromantic, I generally don't get attatched to people or things at all. I sort of have squishes, but they are more like "Hey, you are fairly similar to me; you're AWESOME!" than "Hey, we should be friends with emotional intimacy and trust." I hate physical intimacy and I don't really experience (or want) emotional intimacy.

[maven]

I'm deifinitely aromantic, I generally don't get attatched to people or things at all. I sort of have squishes, but they are more like "Hey, you are fairly similar to me; you're AWESOME!" than "Hey, we should be friends with emotional intimacy and trust." I hate physical intimacy and I don't really experience (or want) emotional intimacy.

Hey EldritchEarthling! Welcome to AVEN :) I'm not big on attachment either, though I love my friends dearly. Somehow that feels different from attachment - some are off in faraway places, some I only speak to twice a year, but I feel a connection to all of them regardless.

[Radioactive Goat]

So,

I came out to my squish just now as an aromantic asexual.

She took that well, which I was very glad she did.

But then I mentioned I like women-- just not in a romantic or sexual way.

Que awkward, long pause.

Goddammit.

[5_♦♣]

How bittersweet.

[Kikachu]

I'm thinking I might be on the aromantic spectrum. I've never felt romantic attraction to someone else, and I honestly have trouble understanding the difference between platonic and romantic love, even when it's spelled out for me. Also, while I see the appeal of romantic relationships, I'm not in a hurry to have one by any means. Oh, and I completely can't relate to romance in books, but I still enjoy reading shipping fanfics. I think it might be because I just like the dynamic between the characters when they're in the same space...

But anyway, I'm still trying to figure it out but thus far I seem to be on the aromantic spectrum. So here I am, I guess?

[maven]

I'm thinking I might be on the aromantic spectrum. I've never felt romantic attraction to someone else, and I honestly have trouble understanding the difference between platonic and romantic love, even when it's spelled out for me. Also, while I see the appeal of romantic relationships, I'm not in a hurry to have one by any means. Oh, and I completely can't relate to romance in books, but I still enjoy reading shipping fanfics. I think it might be because I just like the dynamic between the characters when they're in the same space...

But anyway, I'm still trying to figure it out but thus far I seem to be on the aromantic spectrum. So here I am, I guess?

Ello! Welcome! If you have any questions, feel free to ask them here ^_^

[Song Lily]

Okay... I'm not sure about being anything-romantic. I started describing myself as demiromantic, but now I'm not so sure. Not after reading a few posts about aromance. I thought there was no way I was aromantic, because... come on, I do love romance. I love romantic comedies, the classic love stories, etc. I'm a huge emotion junkie. But I started to feel like I only enjoy the platonic part of romance. I've had crushes, but that's all there is. I usually freak out and run as soon as they start to be all couple-y with me, holding hands and calling/texting all the time. And now I'm awfully confused, because I do sort of feel romantic attraction, I guess. Or not?

I often say I don't want a relationship because I'm happy like this, and I wouldn't have the time, and it would suffocate me, etc etc... But now I just don't know anymore if I'm just saying that in order to avoid questions like "whyyyy are you still single?", or if the feelings have always been real somewhere.

The worst part is... I don't think I'd want to be an aromantic, if that's the case. I really don't want to be alone, even if my actions say too much against that.