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Gho St Ory Qwan

So you are eating again, and you feel OK now? :)

*hugs and :cake:*

Yeah I feel much better thanks. =D :cake: :cake:

My mom's awesome and keeps helping me out aha. I probably shouldn't wait so long until I ask for help. >.<

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MULTI QUOTE

I love Young Frankenstein. :wub:

Me toooooooo.

is there anyone who doesn't? is that even possible?

Impossible.

We should hijack the Weekly Who Watching Party and stream Young Frankenstein, i doubt there'd be any complaints though.

I once heard that P looked into the heart of the Tardis.

TRU DAT. P made the TARDIS blush.

YADATHREAD. *glomp*

THREEEEEAD. :wub:

Love you transyada thread, even though I hardly ever come around. I guess that makes me a bit of a hypocrite, huh?

Heh. I think that's how most of the yadas feel now that we've migrated.

The thread understands.

I hope so, i'm not getting any vibes of resentment. :unsure:

May your whisky be perfectly aged and your highlands be free of Vikings.

Sums up how i started 2011.

In the Mood, Glenn Miller, 1939

Top tunes.

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So you are eating again, and you feel OK now? :)

*hugs and :cake:*

Yeah I feel much better thanks. =D :cake: :cake:

My mom's awesome and keeps helping me out aha. I probably shouldn't wait so long until I ask for help. >.<

That's good! (and yeah, you maybe you shouldn't. :lol:)

I've got brownies (regular ones, thank you very much!) baking in the oven right now, so it'll be a while before I can eat any.

Young Frankenstein FTW

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I just got back from an adventure last night, after being away for a week. OMG, the car broke down! In a mountain pass! :( But at least there were kitties at the house we were visiting.

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Oh no, car break-downs are no fun. :(

Kitties can make lots of things better. :)

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A Long Time Ago

Curious question about something I may need to know when I get done with grad school. What places in the US are the safest for trans people to be in (looking at all things like personal safety, employment, etc.)?

Oh, and we have a problem, this thread is sinking down the list.

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Curious question about something I may need to know when I get done with grad school. What places in the US are the safest for trans people to be in (looking at all things like personal safety, employment, etc.)?

Oh, and we have a problem, this thread is sinking down the list.

i can tell you from personal experience that i very much doubt you could do any better than the Bay Area. truthfully, in the more than half a year that i have been here, i have never had one bad experience that wouldn't have happened even if i weren't trans. i mean, people are people, after all, and some of them will be idiots regardless. there have been times i've been paranoid about whether or not a comment has had anything to do with my gender variance, but that has a lot more to do with me than with anyone else. and i cannot imagine that i would have such an easy time elsewhere in the US in terms of my trans status being accepted at work as i do here. i spoke casually and openly about it at both a staff meeting and a training today, and i was treated with complete dignity, respect, and good humour both times. it was remarkable.

seriously. thumbs up for the Bay Area. i thank my lucky stars--and the Professor--every day that i ended up here.

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A Long Time Ago

Curious question about something I may need to know when I get done with grad school. What places in the US are the safest for trans people to be in (looking at all things like personal safety, employment, etc.)?

Oh, and we have a problem, this thread is sinking down the list.

i can tell you from personal experience that i very much doubt you could do any better than the Bay Area. truthfully, in the more than half a year that i have been here, i have never had one bad experience that wouldn't have happened even if i weren't trans. i mean, people are people, after all, and some of them will be idiots regardless. there have been times i've been paranoid about whether or not a comment has had anything to do with my gender variance, but that has a lot more to do with me than with anyone else. and i cannot imagine that i would have such an easy time elsewhere in the US in terms of my trans status being accepted at work as i do here. i spoke casually and openly about it at both a staff meeting and a training today, and i was treated with complete dignity, respect, and good humour both times. it was remarkable.

seriously. thumbs up for the Bay Area. i thank my lucky stars--and the Professor--every day that i ended up here.

I figured the Bay Area is a good place to be trans but I didn't think it was that good. It is definitely now at the top of my list of places I will go after grad school (how soon that is depends on whether I stick it out for a Ph.D or just do my Master's).

I have also been trying to fill the list out a bit more with other possibilities. I know that cities are better than rural areas and that the northwest and the northern half of the east coast are better than most places. I wonder how good places like Seattle, Portland, Boston, Hartford, Philadelphia, New York (have a feeling for some reason that NY is not too good), and DC (DC is probably as far south one can go without having serious problems but I really don't know)? What about interior places like Chicago, Cleveland, Minneapolis, Boulder (have a feeling that might be a good place), and Denver? I have heard that Honolulu is a good place from my brother's observations on the surface but that more research is necessary to conclude that and to check that things are not what they appear.

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I wonder how good places like Seattle, Portland, Boston, Hartford, Philadelphia, New York (have a feeling for some reason that NY is not too good), and DC (DC is probably as far south one can go without having serious problems but I really don't know)?

i can only speak to the Northwest; but Portland especially is an extremely welcoming and open-minded city in general, and there's a large queer community there. any city whose unofficial motto involves an injunction to keep the city weird is bound to be a good place to live.

oh, and-- Voodoo Doughnut and Powell's. that's really all you need to know.

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Boulder is extremely liberal. We're talking far left. So I guess it's pretty trans friendly. Cost of living is insane though. And there literally aren't enough houses/apartments for all the people here. :blink:

I love Portland. But I grew up in Hillsboro, so I don't know much about the city in terms of trans-friendliness.

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Aaaah thread!! *huggles everyone*

Hmm, here I am, still alive in the Land of Apocalyptic Natural Diasters. Two best friends up in QLD with the floods. :(

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I hope you stay dry, Violet!

I want to move to Portland someday (when I retire...) :)

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Yes, but not so dry as to burn in the fires near Perth.

We have floods on one end and fires on the other. JOY!

I should be fine I'm in Sydney, Sydney is a fortress of pollution and consumerism.

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Oh! Living in southern California I know how bad fires can be and I know Australia had some horrendous fires not too long ago (couple of years now?).

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A Long Time Ago

Boulder is extremely liberal. We're talking far left. So I guess it's pretty trans friendly. Cost of living is insane though. And there literally aren't enough houses/apartments for all the people here. :blink:

I grew up in Colorado and visited Boulder fairly often and noticed it was fairly liberal but that doesn't always translate over to trans friendly, which is why I asked. I will have many job opportunities there soon in my field of work but I would never go there (or any place for that matter) that isn't trans friendly.

Much of the rest of Colorado definitely is not, especially Colorado Springs but I wouldn't go there anyways. Unfortunately, the west slope (the Rockies and the plateaux) is much more conservative, which makes me sad because my hometown is in the mountains. Should I start to live more gender variantly or transition, it will be dangerous to return for a very long time (to give the idea, out of my high school class of 170, there were exactly zero students that were out), maybe for the rest of my life. While my parents are there, I would brave it, though thankfully they will be moving soon to another part of the country that they have wanted to move to for over 15 years, which is much safer for me to go to. This last Christmas may have been the last time I see my hometown except maybe passing by. I had this feeling of sadness when I was there that I was parting ways with something but I couldn't figure out what. Now, I know what it is. As many flaws as there were with the place, I will miss it greatly after the last time I ever go there, which may have already occurred. I can still remember the rivers I used to play in as a kid, watching a forest fire from my back porch through a telescope, bicycling to the next town, having morning coffee with my parents by the bridge, climbing the mountains including the one that allows one to overlook the whole valley that defined the local region, the adventures of going into the forests with my brother while trying not to get wood ticks, various people I knew in the various places through town, the friends I grew up with and helped me along despite my oddities, the various things to do in town, etc. I now realize that I have lost something already (or soon will) due to who I am, something very dear to me. This is my first loss so far, and it particularly hurts.

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Gho St Ory Qwan

I can still remember the rivers I used to play in as a kid, watching a forest fire from my back porch through a telescope, bicycling to the next town, having morning coffee with my parents by the bridge, climbing the mountains including the one that allows one to overlook the whole valley that defined the local region, the adventures of going into the forests with my brother while trying not to get wood ticks, various people I knew in the various places through town, the friends I grew up with and helped me along despite my oddities, the various things to do in town, etc. I now realize that I have lost something already (or soon will) due to who I am, something very dear to me. This is my first loss so far, and it particularly hurts.

Wow that sounds like such a nice place to have lived. How lucky. I hope you find somewhere nice to move to soon but I can't advise at all; I'm far too far. =/

I haven't lived anywhere long enough to be attached to it and currently I'm in a big city so I can't do many of those things you describe doing as a kid. I can see why you'd be sad to leave it. :cake: Good luck in any case.

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Colorado, as mentioned, sure is beautiful. I have visited several times, and even lived there a few times.

I was stationed in Aurora for US Air Force Tech School, visited Colorado Springs few a few month on buisiness with my present employer, and when a teen, my family often took beer runs from Texas to Golden Colorado to stock up on Coors (my family liked the beer and it was not available in Texas until the late 70s or so).

I always enjoyed visiting.

Colorado Springs can be rather meanly conservative, though.

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Boulder is extremely liberal. We're talking far left. So I guess it's pretty trans friendly. Cost of living is insane though. And there literally aren't enough houses/apartments for all the people here. :blink:

I grew up in Colorado and visited Boulder fairly often and noticed it was fairly liberal but that doesn't always translate over to trans friendly, which is why I asked. I will have many job opportunities there soon in my field of work but I would never go there (or any place for that matter) that isn't trans friendly.

Yeah, that's why I said "guess." I'm kind of isolated from the city since I'm part of the college population (the extremely liberal, anything-goes-as-long-as-you-don't-hurt-anyone, college population). It doesn't help that I work for the university too, so I'm not even exposed to that aspect of Boulder.

I hope you find a place that meets your needs. ^_^

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A Long Time Ago

Thank you all for the input so far on safe places in the US. I am trying to build my list so that if things start to hit the fan where I am at, I know where else to go. I am definitely going to keep in the closet to all except a very few until I have completed enough of grad school that I can walk away with a Masters if I need to bail (shouldn't take more than 2-1/2 more years at the most to meet the requirements for a Masters). And then, I can either get into another Ph.D program somewhere else, get into a government lab, or go out into industry relatively easily (though I am prepared to take any job if I have to, even digging ditches for a living). If I decide to transition in the next few years, I will definitely not do it or let the people I interact with know until after I am in a position I can walk away with a Masters (employment/lack thereof is one of the biggest difficulties/dangers for transwomen and having an advanced degree, while not enough, certainly helps on that front) and have other places lined out to go to right away (letters/applications/etc. all set to go in the mail). I am really into taking precautions. The last thing I want is to be on the street so to speak. I am pretty sure where I am at is safe enough that I wouldn't have to worry about physical danger but discrimination might be worse than other places so I need to have things lined out.

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Thank you all for the input so far on safe places in the US. I am trying to build my list so that if things start to hit the fan where I am at, I know where else to go. I am definitely going to keep in the closet to all except a very few until I have completed enough of grad school that I can walk away with a Masters if I need to bail (shouldn't take more than 2-1/2 more years at the most to meet the requirements for a Masters). And then, I can either get into another Ph.D program somewhere else, get into a government lab, or go out into industry relatively easily (though I am prepared to take any job if I have to, even digging ditches for a living). If I decide to transition in the next few years, I will definitely not do it or let the people I interact with know until after I am in a position I can walk away with a Masters (employment/lack thereof is one of the biggest difficulties/dangers for transwomen and having an advanced degree, while not enough, certainly helps on that front) and have other places lined out to go to right away (letters/applications/etc. all set to go in the mail). I am really into taking precautions. The last thing I want is to be on the street so to speak. I am pretty sure where I am at is safe enough that I wouldn't have to worry about physical danger but discrimination might be worse than other places so I need to have things lined out.

Hi, AmI H. *hugs*

I hope that you get your Ph.D., but regarding the physics Masters, that is what I did. I actually never tried for a Ph.D. but planned on a Masters. And so that is what I have (I am not as intelligent as michaeld, not by far).

Now, I work on particle accelerators. I obtained the job in Austin, TX, which is not a bad place in Texas for yadas. My company transfered me to the Boston area, which also is not so bad. Indeed, we have one person here (in my workplace) who transitioned from M to F on the job here, and that has not been a problem.

I wish you the bestest and I believe that you will do fine. :cake:

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Just tossing in my two cents about New York City, since I appear to be the only actual yada resident about. NYC is certainly not the worst place you could be, but because the city is so widely varied, if you're concerned about things like street harassment (legitimately so) you would need to be careful about where you make your home. There are many fantastic neighborhoods where you would get no trouble at all. The majority of Manhattan would be totally unproblematic, and a significant portion of (mostly Western) Brooklyn is quite nice. This continues to change as the Brooklyn gentrification process moves east. However, because of affordability concerns, living in the safe places might not be possible at first, not until you've got a comfortable income. For example, because my budget is so limited, I found myself moving into a neighborhood called Crown Heights, Brooklyn, which is a rather poor and somewhat crime-riddled area, at least in my neck of it, and not especially secure. Certainly not the worst, but not excellent. I do get harassed on the street a good deal, mostly by Rasta men who are coming from an extremely gender-conservative culture with plenty of chauvinism to boot, and I have been chased a couple of times. This is as much because of my whiteness calling attention to me as my gender-difference, but in any case, the city as a whole certainly does not promise the trans-friendly liberal paradise of Portland or the Bay Area. Though we do have a pretty fantastic health center called Callen-Lorde which is where all the transpeople in the area go for physical and mental health services.

I can't say much about job-related discrimination, as the small group of transpeople I know are stealth and pass very well, or aren't and just do freelancing work. On the whole in Manhattan, nobody gives a damn who you are or what your biological history.

Still, it's hard to beat the sheer scope of the resources available up here. It's simply a matter of being able to pay enough to insulate yourself and gain access to the most desirable spaces. Suppose your line of work is more likely to pay out than mine, though.

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A Long Time Ago

Thank you all for the input so far on safe places in the US. I am trying to build my list so that if things start to hit the fan where I am at, I know where else to go. I am definitely going to keep in the closet to all except a very few until I have completed enough of grad school that I can walk away with a Masters if I need to bail (shouldn't take more than 2-1/2 more years at the most to meet the requirements for a Masters). And then, I can either get into another Ph.D program somewhere else, get into a government lab, or go out into industry relatively easily (though I am prepared to take any job if I have to, even digging ditches for a living). If I decide to transition in the next few years, I will definitely not do it or let the people I interact with know until after I am in a position I can walk away with a Masters (employment/lack thereof is one of the biggest difficulties/dangers for transwomen and having an advanced degree, while not enough, certainly helps on that front) and have other places lined out to go to right away (letters/applications/etc. all set to go in the mail). I am really into taking precautions. The last thing I want is to be on the street so to speak. I am pretty sure where I am at is safe enough that I wouldn't have to worry about physical danger but discrimination might be worse than other places so I need to have things lined out.

Hi, AmI H. *hugs*

I hope that you get your Ph.D., but regarding the physics Masters, that is what I did. I actually never tried for a Ph.D. but planned on a Masters. And so that is what I have (I am not as intelligent as michaeld, not by far).

Now, I work on particle accelerators. I obtained the job in Austin, TX, which is not a bad place in Texas for yadas. My company transfered me to the Boston area, which also is not so bad. Indeed, we have one person here (in my workplace) who transitioned from M to F on the job here, and that has not been a problem.

I wish you the bestest and I believe that you will do fine. :cake:

Good to see that there is one good place in the South and it is good to hear something good about Boston (I have a potential company I have looked at there in Boston that I might be able to get into through a contact).

Right now, I am trying to figure out what all my options are over then next half a decade or so and make sure I always have a plan with several backups in case things go wrong (I would do this even if I wasn't a transwoman but being one makes it more critical). Such planning is really important since I am really on the fence about a lot of things and might be making some life changing decisions in the next few years such as transition, career path, etc.

Just tossing in my two cents about New York City, since I appear to be the only actual yada resident about. NYC is certainly not the worst place you could be, but because the city is so widely varied, if you're concerned about things like street harassment (legitimately so) you would need to be careful about where you make your home. There are many fantastic neighborhoods where you would get no trouble at all. The majority of Manhattan would be totally unproblematic, and a significant portion of (mostly Western) Brooklyn is quite nice. This continues to change as the Brooklyn gentrification process moves east. However, because of affordability concerns, living in the safe places might not be possible at first, not until you've got a comfortable income. For example, because my budget is so limited, I found myself moving into a neighborhood called Crown Heights, Brooklyn, which is a rather poor and somewhat crime-riddled area, at least in my neck of it, and not especially secure. Certainly not the worst, but not excellent. I do get harassed on the street a good deal, mostly by Rasta men who are coming from an extremely gender-conservative culture, and I have been chased a couple of times. This is as much because of my whiteness calling attention to me as my gender-difference, but in any case, the city as a whole certainly does not promise the trans-friendly liberal paradise of Portland or the Bay Area. Though we do have a pretty fantastic health center called Callen-Lorde which is where all the transpeople in the area go for physical and mental health services.

I can't say much about job-related discrimination, as the small group of transpeople I know are stealth and pass very well, or aren't and just do freelancing work. On the whole in Manhattan, nobody gives a damn who you are or what your biological history.

Still, it's hard to beat the sheer scope of the resources available up here. It's simply a matter of being able to pay enough to insulate yourself and gain access to the most desirable spaces. Suppose your line of work is more likely to pay out than mine, though.

It sucks that you have already had to deal with harassment. Hopefully, it will get better in the years to come and/or you can move some place better.

Unfortunately, I would likely never be able to make it in the safer parts of NYC. Believe it or not, physicists are not that well paid unless they get into industry where it is a very wide spectrum from low to very high, we just get payed (and tuition waved) when we to grad school unlike many other professions which is a pretty awesome deal.

Edit - Oh yes, I forgot to say. I am decently afraid of street harassment, though as long as it was just words, I wouldn't mind too much. I am worried about things beyond words especially the terrible ones, though being killed doesn't frighten me so much as long as it is simply being killed with nothing else being done to me right before it. And then there are the things that one survives but scar one forever.

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Ugh the site is down. I need my drug dammit. *rocks back in forth in corner complaining about the bugs, the bugs!*

we've seen waaaaaaay to many of the same movies, prettyeyes.

and damnit, yes, i'm going to sleep now; stop pestering me... oh. not you, prettyeyes...

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and damnit, yes, i'm going to sleep now; stop pestering me... oh. not you, prettyeyes...

The status update was worth it, though.

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and damnit, yes, i'm going to sleep now; stop pestering me... oh. not you, prettyeyes...

The status update was worth it, though.

i thought you'd say that.

and for the record, i was asleep 20 minutes ago.

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